leaving
Yelena is extremely displeased to learn that several days later that Natasha and Clint were leaving on a mission for a few days.
She makes her displeasure known to Maria. “I just got her back and you’re sending her away again.” She said grumpily.
“I don’t want to send her away, Yelena. She’s just tying up loose ends to defect safely,” Maria says but Yelena doesn’t know how to convey to Maria that she’s scared.
Yelena’s worried that if Natasha leaves again then she might not come back. Yelena can’t lose her sister again. But she doesn’t know how to convey everything she’s feeling to Maria so it ends up in bad behavior.
She doesn’t mean to be bad. She just can’t help it. It comes across as massive tantrums, refusing to do things Maria tells her, refusing to eat, and throwing things.
Maria is way more patient than any person Yelena has ever met. She doesn’t yell at Yelena or tell her to knock it off or calm down. She waits until Yelena calms down and holds her.
The day finally comes for Natasha and Clint to leave. Yelena wraps her limbs around Natasha, trying to soak up every bit of comfort and love that she can from Natasha.
But when they have to leave, Yelena can’t make herself let go of Natasha. Her fingers don’t work and although Natasha keeps trying to set her down, Yelena can’t let go.
Maria finally steps forward to try and peel Yelena off of Natasha. Except Yelena just gets even more distressed as she remembers the airstrip in Cuba.
Maria finally gets Yelena off of Natasha and holds her as Yelena squirms and cries out for her big sister. Fear shoots through her at the thought of something bad happening to her. “Don’t leave me!”
Clint has to push Natasha the last few feet onto the plane. Maria only lets Yelena go when the plane has taken off but then quickly grabs Yelena’s shirt when Yelena throws herself toward the spot where the plane left, nearly toppling over the edge of the helicarrier in distress.
Yelena can’t help herself, so upset and distressed that she can do nothing but sit in the spot where the plane just was and wait.
Maria waits nearby until it grows dark and cold out. Yelena simply curls into a ball, ignoring the chill as she tries to keep warm. She’s eventually shivering, her hands tucked under her armpits in an attempt to keep some semblance of warmth.
Finally, Maria approached and wrapped a blanket around Yelena’s shoulders. “Baby, it’s time to go inside.”
“I c-can’t,” Yelena murmurs, peering up at Maria.
“Come here,” Maria slides an arm around Yelena’s back and another under her knees, hoisting Yelena up into her arms. Yelena is too tired to protest, exhausted and freezing cold. Maria is warm and safe. “I’ve got you, sweet girl.”
To Yelena’s surprise, instead of going to their bunk to go to bed, Maria carries them to the cafeteria.
“Hey Hank,” Maria greets the man behind the register. “Do you have anything that would warm up this little girl?” She glances down at Yelena.
Hank smiles at them. “Ah, I think I might have just the thing.” He disappears back into the kitchen and Maria takes a seat at their usual table, settling Yelena in her lap.
The change in routine is new but not unwelcomed. Yelena’s not quite ready to head to bed yet, almost positive that she’d have nightmares that night.
Hank appears a few minutes later, setting down a styrofoam cup of brown liquid and a napkin with some of Yelena’s favorite cookies that they only served with lunch.
“You missed lunch and dinner today so I saved some just for you,” Hank smiles. “One cocoa and some cookies to bring some color back into those cheeks.”
Yelena’s a teeny bit hungry but there’s a bubble of nausea rolling around in her stomach. “Thank you.” She said quietly, reaching out to wrap her hands around the warm cup to bring warmth back to her cold fingers.
“You’re welcome little lady,” Hank winks at her and then returns to his post behind the counter.
Yelena only eats one of the cookies, picking apart the other one into a crumbly mess, licking the frosting from her fingers. The cocoa sits warm in her belly, leaving Yelena uncomfortably full despite having barely eaten anything.
When they finally do arrive back at their bunk, Yelena’s surprised to see the stuffed bunny sitting on her bed along with a wad of grey fabric. She picks the fabric up and it unravels to reveal the SHIELD issued sweatshirt that her big sister had been given. Yelena brings it up to her nose and inhales, delighted to smell her big sister on the fabric. Her bunny smells the same way.
Yelena wears the sweatshirt to bed.
Yelena is so agitated and on edge that she can’t eat. She’s so frustrated and upset.
When a complication comes up, Maria informs Yelena that Natasha and Clint will be gone for just a little longer and that they won’t be able to call them on comms.
Yelena doesn’t really want to do anything but wait. She sits out on the runway right in front of the empty spot where Clint and Natasha would return and she waits.
The other agents on the runway gives her glances. A few approach her to ask if she was alright and one even sits with her during her lunch break, sharing her orange with Yelena. They start to bring her water and snacks and whenever they have a few moments, they’ll stop by to play a game with her.
Then the sun starts to go down and they bring her blankets. One agent brings her hand warmers and a female agent brings her a hot water bottle that she filled.
Yelena sits there until she either has to go to the bathroom or Maria comes to fetch her for the night. Maria starts making nightly stops by the kitchen and Hank learns to keep a warm drink and something sweet prepared for Yelena because it’s one of the only times Yelena will eat.
Five days after the radio silence started, Yelena stopped playing games with the agents. She stares at the same spot and waits, almost afraid that she’d miss them coming back. One agent shares their headphones with Yelena, letting her listen to their music.
That spurs the other agents to offer their headphones and phones with movies, games, music, and books on tape for Yelena to listen to.
Finally, one agent brings Yelena a notebook and a pen. “It’s hard missing someone that you love. I like to keep a daily journal about everything I’ve done so that when I see them again, I can tell them all about what I’ve done while they were gone.”
Upon seeing Yelena writing in the journal, another agent brings her colored markers to draw with.
Yelena didn’t really change much in the way of writing. She wrote the same thing.
I waited for you to come home.
It was scrawled out in Russian on each page, doodles in the margins and colored pictures staking up the rest of the empty space below.
Thirteen days after they leave, Natasha and Clint return. Yelena was right there waiting for them and was the first to greet them as they came back.
They were dirty and slightly bloodied and Yelena thought they smelled like ash and smoke. That doesn’t stop her from throwing her arms around Natasha. Natasha doesn’t hesitate to hoist Yelena up into her arms and pull her close, nuzzling her face into Yelena’s hair.
“I missed you.” Yelena tells her quietly, curling her fingers into Natasha’s uniform. “Don’t leave again.”
Natasha pressed a kiss to the top of Yelena’s head. “I’m right here, little one.” She promised.
Natasha has to shower and Yelena’s not quite ready to let her out of her sight yet so she sits on the bench in the locker room as Natasha showers, humming to reassure Yelena that she’s still behind the curtain.
Yelena finally eats her first full meal since Natasha had left, curled up on her big sister’s lap in the cafeteria with Clint. Maria was running their after mission report so she couldn’t join them at first.
Natasha splits her meal with Yelena, encouraging her to take a bite after her. “I heard that you don’t want Hill and I to split custody.” Natasha comments in Russian.
“No.” Yelena agrees, leaning against Natasha’s chest. “I want everybody all together. I want you and my mama to get along.”
Natasha lets out a long sigh, kissing the top of her head. “I know, little one.” She murmurs. “It’s not that simple.”
“Why not?” Yelena questioned, refusing the next forkful Natasha holds up to her lips in favor of talking.
“It just-- it just isn’t,” Natasha sighs, setting the fork down. “Do you know where Clint and I went?”
Clint perks up at the sound of his name, unaware of what they were talking about.
“No. Nobody would tell me anything,” That frustrated Yelena to no end. She didn’t even know where her sister was.
“I killed General Dreykov.” Yelena immediately stiffens at the sound of his name.
“Nat…” Clint has a warning tone, recognizing what she was telling Yelena. “Perhaps now isn’t the best--”
“I did it for you.” Natasha continues on, cupping Yelena’s face gently. “I made you a promise that we would stick together.”
“I need you but I need my mama too,” Yelena tells Natasha before glancing away. “Is he really dead?”
“There’s no way he could have survived,” Natasha reassured her. “If you don’t want me to share custody of you with Hill then what do you want?”
Yelena hesitates as Natasha patiently waits for her answer. “I want both of you. I wanna eat meals all together and I wanna get tucked in by you and crawl into your bed sometimes when I wanna like in Ohio. I don’t want you and Clint to leave again for a long time without any contact. You don’t have to like my mama but I want you to be nice to each other.”
Yelena finished her rambling, peering up at Natasha to see her reaction.
“I think that sounds reasonable,” Natasha finally said, kissing the top of Yelena’s head. “I love you, little one.”
“I love you too, Nattie.” Yelena grins up at her.
In the end, Natasha ends up moving into the room right next to Maria’s bunk, one that was originally cleared out for Yelena before it was discovered the girl liked to co-sleep. Yelena can easily go from one room to the other in the middle of the night.
Maria and Natasha slowly become amicable toward each other before they become friends. At first they only strictly spoke about Yelena but over time Yelena could catch them chatting about something else that wasn’t related to a mission or her.
Yelena had everything she wanted.
She was happy.
“Yelena! We’re going to be late!”
Yelena lets out a long sigh, pulling the top of her suitcase closed and zipping it shut. Her eyes scan the room to check for anything she might have forgotten before her eyes fall onto the white ear of something sticking out of her drawers. She pulls it open, staring down at the stuffed rabbit that Clint had given her five years ago. After only a moment's hesitation, she stuffs it into her backpack.
“Yelena Belova-Hill! This is your last warning!”
“I’m coming!” Yelena huffs out, grabbing her stuff and leaving the bunk, heading toward where Maria and Natasha were waiting.
“Finally,” Maria reaches out to take the suitcase. “I was beginning to think you’d changed your mind.”
“I can’t live on the helicarrier forever,” Yelena points out. “You’re the one always telling me to go make friends with kids my own age. There are a lot of sixteen-year-olds at SHIELD academy.”
“I know, I know,” Maria rolls her eyes. “I’m gonna miss you.”
“We haven’t even left yet,” Yelena reminds her, grinning as Maria swats her shoulder.
“She gets her sass from you,” Maria informs Natasha who was watching with an amused smile.
“Probably,” Natasha agrees, swinging an arm around Yelena’s shoulders. “You have everything you need, little one?”
“I’m not so little anymore,” Yelena points out. “I’m nearly as tall as you now.”
“Yeah, but Natasha’s tiny,” Maria says, grinning as Natasha sticks out her middle finger. “Natasha! Not in front of the child!”
“I’m sixteen, not six, mama,” Yelena rolls her eyes. “And I’m sure I’m gonna see a lot worse than a finger at SHIELD academy.”
“Probably,” Maria agrees with a chuckle. “Alright. Are you ready to go?”
Yelena glances around the runway of the helicarrier, the place she had called home for the past six years. She had grown a lot from that scared ten-year-old that had waited in that phone booth, shivering and ready to welcome death before returning to the Red Room. Here she had found family and the love she had desperately craved for so very long. It was going to be hard to leave. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
With that, Yelena boards the plane to take the next step into the long journey ahead of her.
All because she decided to pick up that phone in the phone booth.