anger
Only moments after hugging Natasha, Yelena squirms when hands grab the back of her shirt to try and tug her away. “No!”
“Yelena, let her go,” Maria said firmly. It was a tone of voice that she’d never used with Yelena before and it startles her enough that Maria can drag her away from Natasha a few inches.
Natasha grabs Yelena’s arm and immediately guns are trained on her.
This felt too much like Cuba. Soldiers. Natasha. Her bare feet on the hot runway. The toy she dropped.
Natasha wasn’t letting her go.
“Stop!” Yelena cries out. “Stop it! Don’t take me away!” She grips onto Natasha just as hard, digging her fingers into the sleeves of her uniform.
“Let go of her!” Natasha hissed at Maria, pulling Yelena back toward her. Maria has to let Yelena go so she doesn’t hurt her. Yelena tumbles forward, colliding with Natasha’s chest.
Maria turns to look at the STRIKE team. “Guns down!” She barks at them, the noise making Yelena flinch. “You’re pointing them at my daughter.”
“Daughter?” Natasha growls in Russian as the STRIKE team lowers their weapons.
“She adopted me,” Yelena explains before shaking her head. “She’s not gonna hurt me.” Yelena just wants to touch her sister but her feet are burning on the ground. If she pulls away to be carried by Maria, they’d take her sister.
Natasha notices the way she shifts from foot to foot and hoists Yelena up into her arms, the handcuffs making the hold awkward and difficult but Yelena helps by wrapping her limbs around her like a koala.
Natasha hadn’t held her like this since she was six. Yelena’s grown some since then but so did Natasha.
“Walk with me,” Maria orders Natasha, her tone cold. Yelena peers over Natasha’s shoulder at Clint. He was a little beat up and if they were following their usual reunion routine, he’d carry her to medical and they’d eat popsicles while he was getting patched up.
Natasha follows Maria, the STRIKE team bringing up the rear. Clint falls into step next to Natasha, his bow slung over his shoulder and the stuffed bunny Yelena dropped in his grip.
Yelena realizes that they’re going to the holding cells. She wasn’t made to go to the holding cells when she came to SHIELD. The thought of getting ripped apart from her sister again makes Yelena tighten her grip.
They pass the holding cells and take a turn into the first interrogation room. It’s the same one little eight-year-old Yelena sat in after her cover had been broken.
“Put her down,” Maria tells Natasha. “Now.”
Natasha eyes Maria before moving to let Yelena down onto her own feet. Yelena tries to tighten her grip but Natasha gently peels her fingers from her uniform. Natasha moves her wrists over Yelena’s head once again so that she can cup her face. “It’ll be okay.” She promised Yelena in Russian.
“I don’t wanna leave you ever again,” Yelena grips onto Natasha’s wrists. She could easily pick the lock to the handcuffs and knew that Natasha could too.
“I will not rest until we can be together again,” Natasha promised, reaching up her pinky finger. “Sister’s promise.”
Yelena reaches up her pinky finger and hooks it with Natasha’s. “Sister’s promise.” She wants everybody to stay here all together. She doesn’t want Natasha in prison. “I love you.”
Natasha’s face softens and she gives Yelena a small smile. “I never stopped loving you, little one.” She tells Yelena. She then pulls away from Yelena and Yelena stops herself from grabbing onto her again. Natasha backs away and takes a seat in the metal chair.
Yelena jumps at the hand on her shoulder. She tries to catch Natasha’s gaze again as Maria pushes her out of the room. The grip on her shoulder is firm and uncomfortable. Yelena stays quiet because Maria seems really mad.
“Maria--” Clint stops her, freezing when Maria glares at him.
“You--” Maria grits out. “We will talk about this later.” She then continues to march Yelena down the hallway.
The further they get from the interrogation room, the more a growing bundle of fear grows in Yelena.
“Mama--” She starts but immediately goes silent when Maria grips her shoulder tighter. Maria had never been mad at her before. Yelena clenches her jaw, upset at the thought of possible punishments.
As soon as they reach their bunk and the door closes, Maria lets her go and looks down at her. “What were you thinking?” She demands and her loud tone made Yelena shrink in on herself.
Yelena doesn’t know if Maria actually wants a response. The Red Room wanted her to be quiet and let them yell at her. Yelena decides that her best bet was to stay quiet.
“You saw that she was in cuffs. You had no sense of self-preservation. What if she hurt you?” Maria demands. Yelena wants to curl into a ball under her bed. “You didn’t think about her mental state. She was in handcuffs, Yelena! She could have hurt you!” Maria said. “Do you understand that!?”
Yelena’s eyes are trained on the floor because looking her superiors in the eyes meant she was challenging them.
“Yelena, look at me!” Maria grabs her shoulders and Yelena winces, jerking her head up to peer at Maria. “You could have gotten hurt, do you understand?”
Yelena nods, realizing that Maria wanted an answer.
“What was going through your head?” Maria demands and Yelena swallows hard. “Well?”
Yelena bites down on her lower lip harshly, using the pain to keep the tears welling up in her eyes at bay.
“Yelena, I’m asking you a question,” Maria raised an impatient eyebrow.
“She… I…” Yelena stumbles over her words, suddenly unsure of how to explain. English seems to fail her. “I didn’t mean--”
“She could have taken you from me, do you understand that?” Maria demands. “Do you want to be taken from me?”
“No!” Yelena manages to get out. “No!”
“Don’t you ever do anything like that again!” Maria gives her a small shake. “Do you hear me?”
Yelena shoves Maria away. “No!” She’d do it again. That was her sister. Her Nattie.
“You do not hit me,” Maria reaches for her, and this time Yelena is unable to hide the violent flinch she had been suppressing. Her reaction startles both of them. Maria immediately backs away from her. “I’m not going to hit you in return.” She tells Yelena much more calmly.
Yelena bites down harder on her lower lip, scrunching her face up when she bites through the skin and the metallic taste of blood fills her mouth. “I’m scared.” She finally tells Maria in English.
Her two words make Maria deflate. Maria moves toward her bed, takes a seat, and cradles her head in her hands.
Yelena is left stuck in the same spot, staring at her mama. She wraps her arms around herself, unsure if she could move from the spot she was in. She doesn’t know what the rules are.
Yelena eyes the door. She wants her big brother, she hadn’t had the chance to greet him yet. Maria’s still sitting on the bed, her head in her hands.
Yelena swallows hard. “Mama?” She tests quietly.
“Yes?” Maria questioned, her voice slightly muffled.
Yelena doesn’t know what she wants to ask. Instead, she shuffles slowly toward her own bed, waiting to see if Maria would snap at her to get back in place.
When Maria doesn’t, Yelena slowly pulls open her drawer in the dresser and lifts the army green noise-canceling headphones out along with the stuffed pony Maria gave her for her birthday and the photo of her and her sister. Yelena then slowly lowers herself to the floor and scoots back under the bed.
It’s small and dark and quiet. It’s safe.
Yelena pulls the stuffed pony to her chest, burying her nose into the fabric. It smells like her mama.
Yelena curls into a tiny ball, finally feeling the throbbing in her lower lip from where she bit her lip. She doesn’t know what to do. She wants her mama. She wants her big brother. She wants her big sister.
She just wants things to be okay. Why can’t they be okay? She doesn’t want fighting or anger or hurt.
Yelena reaches up, running her thumb along her injured lip. She doesn’t know how long she lay under her bed for but eventually she sees Maria’s boots walk in front of the bed before she lowers herself down to her knees and then bends down to peer under the bed.
Yelena’s eyes meet Maria’s. Maria lowers herself until she’s laying on her stomach, staring at Yelena. She taps her ear, silently asking Yelena to take her headphones off.
Yelena tentatively pulls her thumb from her lip and pulls them off.
“I’m sorry,” Maria says as soon as the headphones are gone. “I’m very sorry, Yelena. I shouldn’t have lost my temper with you. Please know that I didn’t mean to scare you. I never want you scared of me.”
Yelena eyes her, trying to determine if she was telling the truth. Deep down, she knows that she’s being nothing but honest but Maria had really frightened her. “I don’t want them to take me from you.” She finally says quietly.
Maria shakes her head. “I got scared and I took it out on you. I don’t know what I would do if you got hurt, Yelena. You are my daughter and I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” Yelena said softly because no matter what, she’d still love Maria. Even if she hurt her. Maria was her mama no matter what. “That’s my big sister.” She tells Maria quietly. “My Nattie…” She holds out the photo strip to Maria.
Maria slowly takes the photo and peers at it. Her face softens at the sight of Yelena’s grinning face. “You must have been very excited to see her.” She states.
“I really, really missed her. I thought… I thought she might be dead,” Yelena admits, her fingers running along the soft fabric of the pony. “But she wasn’t. She was right there in front of me and I didn’t-- I didn’t think. I didn’t mean to make you mad. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too,” Maria reaches her hand out, placing it halfway between them. After a few moments, Yelena reaches out to take her hand. Maria squeezed her hand and the two stay there for a little while longer.
Finally, Yelena starts to shuffle forward and Maria pulls herself up so that Yelena can scoot out from under the bed. When Yelena emerges, she rests on her knees and peers up at Maria.
Maria opens her arms up and Yelena doesn’t hesitate to step into them, letting out a small sigh of relief when Maria lifts her up and kisses the side of her head.
“I want you to listen to me closely, okay?” Maria tells Yelena, swaying in place. “Are you listening?”
Yelena nods her head, resting her cheek against Maria’s shoulder.
“I am never going to hit you. Ever. And I don’t mean to scare you but if I do then I need you to be brave like you were today and tell me. Please, Yelena. I don’t want to frighten you,” Maria nuzzles her nose against the side of Yelena’s head. “Okay?”
“Okay, mama,” Yelena agrees, letting out a soft sigh of content when Maria rubs her back. “Is Nattie going to jail?”
Maria lets out a long sigh. “No. I don’t think so but we don’t really know what we’re doing. Clint didn’t tell us that he was bringing her back until they were already flying back. He had his suspicions that she was your Nattie but he wasn’t sure.”
“I want her to stay here with me and you and Clint,” Yelena tells Maria quietly, wrapping her arms around her neck. “Then I’ll have all my family here in one place.”
Maria sighs softly. “I’ll see what I can do.” She promised. “I love you, baby. So much more than you’ll ever know.”
Yelena closed her eyes, enjoying the gentle sway of Maria’s body and the hand running up and down her back. “I love you too, mama.”
Maria carries her down to medical to get the bottom of her feet and her lip looked at. Clint is there getting patched up and he grins when he sees her, hugging her tightly.
They sit side by side getting patched up and eating popsicles.