Chapter 21
Correction: it’d all be fine if it weren’t for the dreams.
She’s promised herself she won’t masturbate to memories of their night together, and she hasn’t. But her subconscious seems hell bent on testing her resolve, heavily featuring Lena in her dreams. And here’s the thing: they’re not exactly mysterious metaphorical dreams.
They’re… well, they’re graphic – very graphic dreams.
She finds Lena hunched over the controls one evening, a thin frame in the high-ceilinged room. A beautiful workaholic lost to the world. Before Alex’ fully realised it, she’s crossed the room, come to stand behind her and placed a gentle hand on her back.
Lena goes rigid.
“Hey, it’s me” she whispers, trying to calm the startled genius with a soft soothing caress.
Lena relaxes instantly. It surprises Alex, how much it matters, how much that pleases her.
“Hi” Lena breathes on an exhale.
Without putting much thought into it, Alex falls back into old habits. She places her hands on Lena’s shoulders and starts kneading into the tense muscles, light, at first.
“It’s late.”
Lena sighs: “Is it? How late?”
“Approaching 2AM.”
Another sigh. “I must’ve lost track of time.”
“Mhh.” Sounds familiar. “Where’s Banner?”
A suppressed yawn. “I… I’m not sure.”
Lena does that sometimes: disappear into her own world. Alex can’t help it, really: she pushes closer. It brings their hips and legs together. A gross miscalculation, for Alex didn’t quite anticipate how much that move would affect her. It sets her body alight.
From so close she could…
Lena straightens: “Alex…”
“I know, I know” a defeated mumble. She’s being disrespectful of Lena’s wishes. And reckless. Everything she swore to herself she wouldn’t be.
In direct contradiction with her tone, though, Lena sways and sinks against her. The back of her head comes to rest against Alex’ shoulder, wisps of hair tickling her jaw.
Alex swallows.
They stay like this. Lena pressed against her front, showing no sign of wanting to move away. Alex’ hands try to adjust to the new angle, alternating between light and strong touches. Their faces so damn close, every breath Alex takes bringing them impossibly closer.
“You’re making this very hard.” She can hear the smile in Lena’s tone.
“Not intentionally” she confesses with a smile of her own, elated to hear confirmation she’s not alone in this.
Lena hums, turning her head slightly to the right, just so. It brings her lips a breath away from Alex’ skin. “Could have fooled me.”
Lena’s words leave a trail of goosebumps along her jaw and down her throat. Fuck, so much for it all being fine. “I’ve been on my best behaviour…”
“I call foul” comes volleyed back, teasing.
“I’ve given you plenty of space.”
“And how would you categorise showing up to meetings in nothing but Calvins?”
Alex huffs a laugh. “That happened once and was unintentional. I swear. I just…” Wait: “Is that why you were so off in that meeting?”
“I wasn’t off…”
“You barely said a word. In fact, I don’t think I heard you say a single thing…”
“Well, I don’t recall anyone else standing around shirtless, do you?”
She grimaces: “I’m sorry. In my defence, how was I to know it’d affect you so much – or at all?” she murmurs playfully.
It’d be so easy to just slide her hands down…
“And here I remember showing you quite clearly how much it does…”
She did walk herself into that one. Lena’s words and the memories they invariably bring forth shoot straight to Alex’ belly, settling low. Fuck. Lena really knows what she’s doing in the flirting department.
“That’s…” She swallows. “You can’t say things like that.” Not when she’s the one who closed the door on this, on the possibility of them.
“I suppose it’s my turn to apologise then” whispered, almost mouthed against her jaw.
“So no more meetings in underwear. Noted.”
“I didn’t say that” and Alex’s pretty sure she’s not imagining the ghost of lips on her skin.
The moment stretches in silence. Lena leaning fully on Alex, her forehead resting against the side of her jaw. Alex’ hands continue their ministrations, earning little contented hums from the CEO.
It’s well past 3AM when Alex lets her arms fall to her side, leans back, her forehead coming to rest against the back of Lena’s head: “We should…”
She feels more than hears Lena exhale, before she replies: “We should.” It sounds resigned, but resolute enough to break the moment for good.
She can see Lena’s just as reluctant to part ways once they reach her bedroom door.
It’s the first good night’s sleep she gets in over three weeks.