The Firm Door
Knock, knock, the door onomatopoeia’d.
“Who is it!” called a husky voice from inside.
The stiff, rock hard door opens. Ema wheels in, pushed by a shy Syghie, who’s being pushed by a traditionally quiet Iori, who’s being pushed by a flaming Ritsuka and Azuna, who’s being pushed by a boobaciously breasted Jain, who’s being pushed by a flying Kite. “Tadaima-desu!”
“Ehhh, it’s Ema-chan! Irashaimase!!!!” smiles Masaomi (he/they), standing their. “What happened?”
The door moaned shut behind them. “Ema got meningitis when we were at the cafe,” Kite explained. “We went to the hospital, and they couldn’t treat her, but they did give us this sick ass wheelchair.”
“Uwaghioughawah,” whimpers Ema, who sounds the exact same as she does when in perfect health.
“Ehhh?? Sou-desu nee!! Just like Tsubaki-ni, nee!” says Azusa, appearing out of thin air and disappearing to make out with his twin in the same breath.
Masaomi spanked the door seductively on its ass.
“Yes, daddy,” Dooru-chama cried out.
“Anyways,” sighs Jain, leaning against the erect door frame. “Who else is home?” she asks, trying to be as subtle as possible.
“The twins are here, Shiki’s in the fridge obv, and Louis is somewhere.”
“Ehhh?” Azuna cries out.”Y-you can see that infernal creature?”
“Yeah, I can.” Masaomi hacks and spits on the floor, stomping on it as his monologue continues. “At work, I’ve seen so many people die. My connection to the dead has grown stronger over the years. In pediatrics, you see plenty of angels. But for some children, fallen angels like the being in our fridge crawl up out of hell to give them an undeserved send-off. Sometimes, I see them standing their over the foot of my bed when I wake up at night. They tend to leave after I jerk off,” Masaomi humms thotfully in E pentatonic.
“Even so,” Azuna starts, hands curling into fists. “It’s my duty as a student of the cuminary arts to decimate that creature.” She summons her magical Nerf-Or-Nothing holy water pisstol into her hand, and advances towards the fridge.
“A-A-A-Azuna! Wait!” cries Ritsuka, grabbing her wrist homoerotically. “But Shiki is our friend!”
Azuna gazes into her eyes, temporarily distracted by the fervent gleam in Ritsuka’s amber orbs. “He…” she begins, distracted. She clears her throat. Not now, gay thoughts! “He isn’t our friend. He tried to kill you! And I can’t let that happen to you again,” she whispers, tilting Ritsuka’s face up towards her own.
“A-Azuna…” she trails off, gazing at her eyes, then down at her lips.
“Anyways, uh, we picked up some frozen Texas toast from Publix on our way over for later tonight,” says Syghie awkwardly, jostling the plastic bag in an attempt to disrupt the mounting [A/N: soon to be pegging] tension. “Where should we keep it?”
“The freezer will be fine,” says Masaomi, jerking his thumb over their.
“Great, thanks!” beams Kite, taking the bag from Syghie and opening the freezer. Broken from her homosexual reverie, Azuna starts.
“K-Kite! Wait!” But Kite, like the dazed Ema in her wheelchair, isn’t the quickest on the draw. She opens the door, and sees the hunched, crouching figure of Shiki in the freezer.
Kite blinks. “Um, hi. Are you one of Ritsuka’s friends?”
The corners of Shiki’s lips curl up in a Cheshire grin. “You could say that,” he pushes [P]. A rocket takes off somewhere in the distance. Dooru-chan groans weakly in the foreground.
“Cool. Can you move over so we can put the toast on top of the Totino’s? Also, we got ice cream, if you want any,” says Kite, refusing on principle to be fazed.
“I’m always a slut for an ice cream sandwich,” smirks Shiki, trying to move as gracefully as he can to the side of the fridge while Kite puts the groceries in [A/N: not that gracefully, it’s a freezer]. She grins and moves to pass him an ice cream sandwich, but he just opens his mouth seductively. Azuna takes her chance to grab the ice cream sandwich from Kite and cram the ice cream sandwich into Shiki’s mouth.
“Choke, bitch!” she intones, eyes glowing with sacred light. Shiki gags around the sandwich, creamy white ice cream dripping from the corners of his mouth. His eyes go wide.
“You look so cute with your mouth stuffed full like that, whore,” sneers Azuna.
“Mmrph hhor-”
“Lick my shoe, bitch. And that’s ‘mistress’ to you.” Azuna puts her shiny Mary Jane-clad size seven-and-a-half left foot out in front of Shiki, who is still slobbering over the sandwich.
Shiki falls out of the fridge, the ground connecting painfully with his flat ass, in a surprisingly pleasurable way. He winces and leans up to lick the shoe, compelled by her cuminary prowess. As his forked tongue flicks out to lick the bottom of her shoe, it comes into contact with a dried film that tastes familiar. His eyes go even wider. “H-how…?” He trails off, but suddenly his eyes glow white and he curls in on himself, screaming.
“Oh, you didn’t see me this morning, whore? I was in the garden outside when the monk came onto you and the flowers. His kingdom cum on my shoes forever.” she grins, watching Shiki shudder as light cascades out of his every pore. He howls, and disintegrates into motes of dust as she smirks down at him. “Goodbye, foul beast.” And again, the creature of the night has been cast back into the void.
The kitchen sinks into stunned silence for the second time that day, only to be interrupted by the sound of tearing paper. Kite unwraps an ice cream sandwich. “Damn, that was crazy,” she says, licking the top of the ice cream. “Anyways, where’s Jain?”
-
Meanwhile…
Jain seductively stomps up the stairway, her boots hitting the stairs with a syncopated, jazz rhythm. Ta, ki, ki-ta, in rhythmic solfege. She’s on the hunt, she’s on the prowl, as she breasts boobily up the stairs. Boob boob, her boobs onomatopeia’d.
“God fuck, where is this bitch?” Jain cried out in frustration, breasts bouncing with irritation, left tit then right.
“what are you looking for,” a mysterious voice echoes down the hall. Smoke fills the hallway, pluming into volumptuous plumes. A ghastly apparition appears out of thin air. “Maybe I can help you find whatever it may be.”
Jain titted towards the familar apparition. “Oh, hi Joie! Actually, I could definitely use your household expertise! Do you know if Natsume-chan is in?” (A/N: pronounced “joe-E”)
“Oh, yeah. He’s totally not here,” says Joie.
“Drats! Well, that sucks. Anyway, you should totally join us for the sleepover later!”
“Yeah will do” Joie says, scuttling away.
Jain huffs indignantly. “I guess I better rejoin the gorls, then.”
You know who would be here, Jain contemplated. She shook the thoughts out of her head. I’m such a sussy baka. I can’t go thinking about old stuff like that. Not him, not Z-.
A sudden crashing sound came from the window outside. Startled, she looks outside contemplatively. …Zen?
He smiles a dangerous smile. That smile, that damn smile. She remembers it all too well.
“I’ll also show you another sweet dream next night.”