Open Your Heart
Peter felt groggy as he finally came around. His head felt full, and it felt like it was resting too heavily on his shoulders. He couldn't tell if the buzz was coming from the machinery or from his own thoughts. Whatever it was, he wished it would go away as quickly as possible since it was driving him insane.
The light was way too bright for his sensitive eyes. To stop himself from feeling worse, he takes one of the several pillows behind him and shoves his face into it. He felt as if he had fallen fifty flights of stairs and landed straight on his head. He was in excruciating pain all over and it wasn't going away. He figured it would pass by now because his healing usually got him through days like this. However, it appears that getting back on your feet after being shot and nearly dying takes a lot longer than he thought it would.
Peter rummages through his pants pocket for some spare change after returning the pillow to its original location. He needs to clean the Spider-Man suit as soon as possible or people would talk so he plans to go to the dry-cleaners as soon as Tony lets him out of here. When he looks for his bag, though, his entire body forgets about the ache and goes into panic mode because he can't find it anywhere. The only thing in the room is a note from Tony and a dish of nuts that must have been left there for when he woke up.
Sitting up, Peter ignores what feels like a black hole in the pit of his stomach. He throws the covers off his bed and groans as he pushes up and tumbles less than gracefully out of the bed. He lands on the floor but manages to pull himself up by sheer determination. The machine starts beeping loudly and he’s not sure if he’s imaging it. But when several nurses burst in with Cooper by their side, he realises he probably couldn’t get out of here unnoticed without getting some strength back.
Peter smiles sheepishly. “…Hi,” he smiles. “Thanks for the- you know… Saving my life thing. Feels good to be alive.”
Cooper stares in disbelief. He walks up to his side and helps him back into bed. “Peter, you need to rest,” he says. He tucks the covers back over him and sighs. “We missed the presentation yesterday, so if you don’t look like you’re close to death then they’ll totally fail us.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. But sir said it’ll be fine. He knows what happened after all. It would be really bad if he punished you for getting shot,” Cooper says, sitting in the seat that’s next to the bed. He shoves some peanuts in his mouth and looks at Peter’s face. “You don’t look like someone who almost died, though. I thought you’d look like a mannequin. I thought I would have to talk to nothing and get no response back.”
“…I work out. It’s why I heal fast.”
Cooper’s eyebrows furrow. “…Right,” he says, uncertain. He bites his lip as his eyes flicker around the room. He looks to the floor at the pile of Peter’s dirty clothes which were covered in blood. You couldn’t tell what colour they originally were. Peter hadn’t even realised he was wearing a hospital gown until he followed Cooper’s look over, but he wasn’t too bothered with the latest trends anyway. He looked good even in an oversized hospital gown that made him look even younger than he was. Flipping his gaze back towards Peter, Cooper sighs. “I’m so glad you called me, you know.”
“Really?” Peter asks. “I wasn’t sure if you would be. Probably wasn’t the best call to get that early in the morning. Ned tells me I give him heart problems.”
“It wasn’t… but it meant you’re still alive… so, I guess it was the best outcome,” Cooper says. “I told Ned. And your aunt. And the whole school,” he explains. He looks down at his feet and Peter could feel the guilt coming from him like he felt bad about telling everyone without asking. He didn’t have to feel bad, though. Peter got it; he just wishes none of this happened. Not because of the pain of the surgery, but mainly for the fact that he almost revealed his identity. “Sorry. I was scared.”
“No, it’s okay,” Peter smiles. He puts his hand on Cooper’s, which was resting on the blanket. The touch causes Cooper to look up. They make eye contact, which Peter keeps. He smiles. “I’m okay, and that’s thanks to you. Thank you, Cooper. I owe my life to you.”
Cooper returns the smile and nods. He squeezes Peter's hand before releasing it. Peter pretends not to notice that Cooper is staring at the ECG machine he’s connected to. His heartbeat is stable, indicating that he is still alive. Maybe Cooper just needs to know everything is okay. Peter himself requires reassurance from time to time, so he doesn’t mind.
There's a pause in the room. An awkward silence falls over them since neither is sure what to say next. Peter listens to the soft music coming from the TV. He's perplexed as to how they knew the bands he enjoyed.
“Oh, uh- has my aunt come to see me?” Peter asks as the song fades into another.
He didn't know how to explain to May why he was outside in the first place. She'd ask why he wasn't in bed since it was past midnight, and she said to him every night before her shift that he had a strict curfew. Could he say Ned called? If he did, he would be throwing his friend under the bus, something he couldn’t do. Not when Ned’s always been there for him. It would be easier to say he’s suddenly into drugs... Sure, it's not the truth, but it's easier to tell a lie than to explain to her that he's the 'dangerous' Spider-Man she warned him to avoid.
He realises then that the location where he was shot was likely near to where they lost Ben. He shudders, imagining what was going through his aunt's mind when she received that phone call. He was an idiot for being so careless and not considering what he would leave behind if he died. He watches his heart rate rise as he squeezes the bedsheets in his hands, attempting to appear unconcerned.
“She hasn’t. But she called. My dad had a long conversation with her about how you were doing. She said she couldn’t afford the trip up. Dad offered to come to pick her up, but she said she had work. I could hear her crying from the phone… you really scared her,” Cooper explains. He pauses and waits, watching Peter’s face. Maybe he’s wondering if he’s crossing a line. He isn’t. “She wishes she could be here. Badly. She would’ve been if you didn’t wake up, for sure. But now that she knows you’re in good hands she can go to work and wait for you to come back. Well, that’s what I overheard anyway.”
“Cool, cool,” Peter says. He sighs. “…God, everything hurts.”
Cooper snorts. “Course it does, man. You were shot.”
“Guess that makes sense,” Peter smiles. He looks over to the bedside table and grabs the glass of water that was left there. He takes a swig of it, before checking the time. 7AM flashes back at him. How long has he even been here?
Cooper must realise why he’s looking since he answers Peter’s question pretty quickly. “Two days,” he says. “You were out of it yesterday. Slept most of the day. The nurses said it would be a few more days before you were awake and coherent… but, you know, here you are. It’s like you’re a superhero or something.”
“Hahaha… yeah…,”
Cooper stays in his room for twenty more minutes before Clint comes in and tells him it’s school. If he’s up for it. Peter reassures him that it’s okay and accepts a quick, one-second, hug before he’s out of the room like he was never there. Peter blinks, resting his head against the pillow and tries to think about where he would’ve left his bag. Was it in the alleyway or did someone pick it up? If they did, they’d find his books and the Spider-Man suit tucked in between them and everything would be a disaster.
Peter barely has the time to think or to plan an escape, before the door opens again. Once again, he’s halfway through getting out of bed when they come in. At least he remembered to mute all the machines this time so as not to alert the nurses. This time he made it to the window. The top half of his body is outside of the window, and even if the bandages felt wet again, he didn’t care.
He hears a huff and imagines it’s accompanied by a considerable eye roll. “Peter, get down.”
It’s like a constant carousel and Peter can’t seem to get off it. Peter looks up and sees Natasha walking in. Her hair is in a bun and her clothes are a lot more casual than he’s ever seen her before. Peter’s also never seen her look worried, but here he notices she’s not as put together as normal. Her stance isn’t fully straight, and her eyes are not fully guarded. She has to be worried, but Peter doesn’t know why. It’s not like he’s in any danger.
Then his legs give out.
Natasha’s by his side in a few seconds. She put her arms under his, keeping him up with her weight. She walks over to his bed, sitting him down.
“Kid, you’re at the Avengers med bay. Even Tony can’t get out of there unnoticed.”
“Yeah, well, he’s not Spider-Man,” Peter huffs.
“Okay, tough guy,” Natasha says. “Let’s see if you ruined your bandages by this escape attempt.”
Peter shakes his head. “No, they’re fine!”
“Then let me see.”
“No.”
“Peter,” Natasha says, crossing her arms. “Come on.”
Peter shudders. Her eyes remind him too much of May’s, and he can never say no to her. He huffs, lifting his t-shirt. He widens his eyes when he sees the fresh blood. “I swear it doesn’t hurt,” he says.
“Sure,” Natasha says. “You’re staying in this bed until you can walk on your own feet, Peter. I’ll get the nurses to come and change this soon...”
“No, it’s fine! Honestly! I’m sure it’ll be gone soon, and I can walk. I just… tripped,” Peter tries to ensure Natasha that he’s fine. It’s nice that people care. God knows he’s always grateful to have people in his life who want him to do well, but he just wants to go home and sleep in his own room without these bright lights making him want to rip his pupils out.
“You’re staying here, Peter,” she says. Her words are final. Peter doesn’t bother to say anything in response.
The door opens again. “Listen to the lady, Parker,” a voice says (he was planning on it anyway).
When Peter looks up and to his right, he sees Tony standing there. He’s in a different suit than he was in when Peter last saw him. His sunglasses are tucked into his pocket, and Peter can see the band sticking out. He seems… guarded, but doesn’t he always? But this is different. Does he know something? He oozes confidence still, though, and Peter wonders how he does it.
“Mr Stark, hey! Fancy seeing you here… in your own building,” Peter says. He shuffles around on the bed, groaning when it hurts his stomach. He flops back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling as he admits his defeat. He’s not going anywhere anytime soon. “Ouch.”
“Be careful,” Tony smiles. He shrugs off his blazer, putting it on the chair. He pats Natasha on the back before he stands beside Peter. When Peter’s eyes open, he sees Tony looking down at him like some kind of god. “…Are the lights too bright for you?”
Peter tilts his head. “How did you know?”
“Genius. Duh,” Tony says. He walks over to the control panel and dims the lights. Peter immediately feels better. It’s like he can see clearly after being blinded, and the pressing on his head finally gives in a little. “Is that better?”
Peter nods. “A lot,” he grins. It really is. He sits up, grabbing a pillow and resting his chin on it. “So, what brings you both to my humble abode?”
“Just wanted to check in on you,” Natasha says. “I’ll get going now. Text me when you’re out, Peter. Okay?”
Peter says yes and watches as Natasha leaves the room. She looks him in the eye, and Peter knows she came in here to actually speak about training and Spider-Man, but she couldn’t do that when Tony was standing there.
The door closes and the silence draws over the room again. Tony sighs. “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” Peter says, honestly.
“Cool. Because- well, they found something in your scans, kid, and I wanted to speak to you about it.”
“Oh my god. Are you really my dad? It’s been so long. I’ve been waiting for you,” Peter says, looking up at Tony with sparkling eyes as he tries to divert the conversation away from where Tony was heading. If they’ve seen his DNA… it’s over. Surely Tony knows everything.
“This is serious, Pete,” Tony says. He grabs his jacket from the chair and puts it on the end of the bed. He takes a seat. Hanging his head, Peter sees the resistance in Tony’s eyes. He wonders if Tony knows what he’s unravelling here or if he’s oblivious about what’s going on. They lock his eyes again and Peter realises it’s unlikely that he’s getting out of this. “…Did you know that you’re enhanced?”
Peter was glad he pulled himself away from the machine since Tony would’ve easily seen the spike in his heart rate. But that doesn’t mean he can hide the sweat and fear on his face. He doesn’t bother to look Tony in the eye, too scared to do so. He’s terrified.
If Tony knew he was Spider-Man, then it was over. He’s been hiding this secret whilst Tony searched the earth for him, not knowing he was right under his nose. Tony would be angry. If Peter thought Tony hated him before, then how would he feel now? He’d tell Cooper, and then Cooper would feel betrayed, and the secret would spill to the rest of the school. Then once it hit Midtown, they’d tell the world and then suddenly it’s no longer a secret identity and this here? He wouldn’t only be threatened by gunshots. Everyone would know who and where he was, and he’d be dead.
Peter’s breathing picks up. He feels hands surrounding his neck, but nothing’s there. But the dread that falls over him is squeezing. He can’t breathe. Oh god, he can’t breathe. The feeling gets tighter. He squeezes his eyes shut and pretends like Tony isn’t there. He needs to sort himself out soon before he has a full-blown panic, and he can’t come back from it.
“Peter?”
“Who… me? Do you think I’m enhanced? Yeah, next joke Mr Stark. They must’ve got the scans mixed up or something because there’s no way that I’m enhanced. I mean- look at me. If I had powers, do you really think that I would only have three friends? I’d be the most popular kid in the school. And I wouldn’t look like this! I’d have muscles and I’d be famous, and- and- I wouldn’t have been shot if I was enhanced! If I had powers… I would’ve avoided it and-,”
Tony looks right through him. As Peter’s words tumble out of his mouth, Tony has obviously figured it all out. Well, not that he’s Spider-Man… but that he’s got powers. He doesn’t know that he uses them for anything, but he knows. So it’s only a matter of time before everything comes out. Does he tell him or not? Yeah, Mr Stark’s cool and Peter’s idol but they haven’t done much together. They’ve spoken and hung out like twice, so Peter has no idea how he’ll react.
Peter stops speaking. He takes a break. His hands are shaking rapidly. He can’t even take a hold of his glass of water. The whole thing spills over him as he tries to take a nervous sip. Drenched and in pain, Peter groans in frustration and puts his face in his hands. Then, as if this one thing tipped everything off, the tears started. He started hyperventilating. He was crying so much that he couldn’t even hear Tony speak. It happened so quickly and now here he was sobbing in front of the person he never thought he’d even meet.
“Peter, don’t cry,” Tony says.
Helpful, Peter thinks.
“Kid, hey,” Tony says, putting his hand on Peter’s shoulder. Peter hears him take a deep breath before mumbling something about having no idea what to do. “Peter, it’s going to be okay. It was just a question. You’re not in trouble. And nobody is going to force you to do any tests or anything. We just want to know if you’re okay.”
“I’m fine!” Peter insists. He moves his hands away from his face and tries to look away. But Tony manages to tap him on the cheek gently and forces them to make eye contact. “Please don’t tell my aunt.”
“How doesn’t she know? Are you not a mutant? I thought you could tell from birth.”
“Well, obviously not. If you couldn’t tell, then how would she know?” Peter frowns. He doesn’t appreciate the tone he’s speaking about May in. She’s brilliant. It’s not her fault he’s so secretive about everything in his life since the bite. “Plus, I’m not even a mutant.”
Tony’s eyebrow raises. “You’re not? Then what are you?”
“God, it’s like you don’t even know science,” Peter sniffs. “Thought you, if anyone, would know the difference.”
“The difference between what? You have to give me a clue here, kid,” Tony says. He grabs a packet of tissues from his pocket and passes one over.
Has he always had those in there? Peter wonders if he brought them over just in case the injuries get worse. Peter can’t imagine Tony Stark crying over him. He might just have a runny nose. The tissues don’t mean anything… but at the same time, they might prove everything. Peter’s been so confused about how doting Tony has been since he woke up. Tony doesn’t know but Peter heard every moment Tony came and stood by his door, too scared to walk in. Every conversation Tony had on the phone… Peter heard it all. He knows Tony cares, so it’s annoying that he acts like he doesn’t.
Peter rolls his eyes as he grabs the tissue that Tony passes to him. “I don’t have the X gene, Mr Stark. So, therefore, I am not a mutant. These powers I have didn’t activate during puberty or when I was born. They happened… because- well… other reasons.”
“So… you’re a mutate, then,” Tony says. It sounds like he’s speaking to himself.
Tony runs his hands up and down his slacks, humming. The spark in his eyes for knowledge matches Peter’s when he gets engrossed in a project. But that’s why Peter didn’t want him to know. He wasn’t a project. He didn’t want Tony to suddenly care for him just because he had powers. He wanted that friendship from being himself, but it was too little too late for that.
“Can I go home?” Peter says. “Please.”
“Not yet, kid. You’re not all healed.”
“If you actually knew what my powers were then you’d figure out quite quickly that I have super healing. I’ve made it through the hurdle, and now I’ll be fine with no intervention. I’ve been shot before, Tony. I’m fine,” Peter says, bitterly. He forces himself up and pretends that it doesn’t feel like a thousand wasps stinging him at once. He grabs his clothes from the floor and moves to the bathroom to get changed. Tony stops him by grabbing his wrist. “What?” he says, hoping to sound irritated. But it doesn’t work. He just sounds like he’s in pain from the grip Tony has on his arm.
“Why are you acting like this?” Tony asks. “And what happened to ‘Mr Stark’.”
“Figured you wouldn’t like it if people below you wanted to call you by your name,” Peter huffs, easily getting his hand out of Tony’s grip because of his strength. “I’m going home, and I don’t need your permission to do so.”
“Peter, come on, don’t be ridiculous,” Tony says, sadly. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong is you only care about me because I have powers. You couldn’t even look at me before,” Peter snaps. “That’s messed up. I’m not some project for you to fix. I’m fine being Peter. I don’t need to be super.”
Tony takes a deep breath. “Sit down.”
“No.”
“Peter, please.”
“No, I want to go home.”
“Peter, sit down,” Tony says, his voice a bit too firm. Peter obliges immediately, sitting back down on the bed with his legs coming off the side. He sits with his head pointing down, his legs already swinging back and forth anxiously as he waits for what Tony was going to say. Tony kneels before him, getting him to look him in the eye again. “You are not a project to me.”
Peter pouts. “Yeah, right. Sure.”
“Peter, you never were, and you never will be. Even if turns out you have the wildest traits that science has ever seen, I would never let anyone poke and prod you. I have morals, okay? I’ve gone on missions to stop people from doing that to people like you. I would never treat you like that.”
“You wouldn’t?”
“No,” Tony smiles. “And you’re already super, okay? Remember that.”
Peter smiles. “Sorry for freaking out.”
“It’s okay, kid. I wasn’t clear enough to you. It’s not your fault that you got upset,” Tony tells him.
“Wow… have you been reading parenting books? That was a good one.”
Tony rolls his eyes before pushing himself off the floor. He helps Peter get up. “You don’t have to stay here. But if you want to get out of this room, please at least stay in the tower before you go home. I want to make sure you’re okay.”
“…Sure,” Peter mumbles. “If you tell my aunt. I don’t want to feel her wrath...It’s scary.”
Finally, Peter sees a warmth in Tony’s eyes. He now knows it makes sense for Tony to know who he really was. He could trust him. Tony wouldn’t do anything to harm him so why shouldn’t he know Peter is Spider-Man?
Tony
Tony takes Peter upstairs and gets him into some fresh clothes. He throws away Peter’s blood-stained clothes he was wearing that night, knowing no way was ever coming out. They go up to the kitchen where Tony spends two hours preparing a bunch of food from his mother’s recipes. Bread, pasta, soups… anything he could think of to give Peter a full stomach and make him feel better.
He even returns his backpack. Tony’s never seen someone look so attached to a physical object before, but Peter looks so relieved it was in his arms that Tony thought he might start crying.
Once he’s done cooking and Peter has his first plate, Tony suggests they should go down to the lab. Partly because he’s behind on work. But also because Peter has been asking every time that they spoke to come down here. When he proposes it, Tony doesn’t even get to the end of the sentence before Peter’s agreeing.
Peter down on Tony’s desk as he works. Peter wants to help, but since this is his first time here (well, when he’s supposed to be. He forgets now and then that they met here) and he’s still limping from being shot to death, Tony says no. He lets Peter watch and occasionally lets him do something small, so he feels involved. Peter goes up and down the stairs periodically to get more food and Tony doesn’t even bother to tell him there’s usually a no eating rule in his lab… apart for himself. But Peter’s slipped through that rule too it seems.
Peter eats as much as Steve. Although Tony assured Peter that he wasn’t a science experiment, he couldn’t help but feel an urge to find out what was happening. What powers did the kid have and where the hell did he even get them from?
When they first found out he was enhanced, both Tony and Bruce were certain he was mutant. Most were. Only the rare few got their powers from something else. But they should’ve realised that it might’ve been a possibility since Bruce himself was a mutate too. It wasn’t a huge deal where the powers came from, but more than Tony wanted to know if Peter had control of them.
He must know how to use them since he looks ordinary (although his personality makes him anything but ordinary in Tony’s opinion). If they hadn’t looked at the scans, then they wouldn’t have known at all.
Peter finishes off his fifth plate of the day and pulls Tony’s blanket tighter around him that was given to him when they first came inside. Tony hasn’t told him but it’s the same blanket his mother gave him a year before she died. She knitted it herself. Knitting was one of the only things that were hers. That and Tony, of course. Everything else came from his father. Money, clothes, trips… they all came from him. His choices. Because it was his reputation. Tony watched his mother lose her happiness as he grew up, and he was helpless to do anything about it. He wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone.
He shrugs off those thoughts and walks up to Peter, rubbing the oil off his hands with an old rag. “Want more?”
“No thanks, Mr Stark. I’m so full I think I could burst.”
Tony laughs. He ignores the buzz in his stomach when he realises that he’s back to ‘Mr Stark’ after Peter’s reasonable outburst earlier. “Yeah, well, that would make sense considering you have had loads to eat.”
“Don’t know when I’ll ever have that much food available, so I have to make use of it,” Peter grins, rubbing his stomach. But Tony doesn’t know how he can say that and smile.
Tony’s stomach drops. He looks at Peter and thinks that, yeah, he’s skinny. He doesn’t get enough to eat at all, especially since it looks like he has the same metabolism as Steve. He doesn’t have enough money to eat normally, never mind for a superhuman. All this time he’s been over, and Tony’s given him a wide berth, thinking he was better off without his help.
Tony could’ve given him money. He could’ve given his aunt a better job. Anything. But no. He just acted like it was all below him, like what Peter said earlier. Money wasn’t even thought to a person like him. Sometimes he forgets others struggle with it.
“Mr Stark?” Peter asks, looking up at him.
Tony stares. His mind starts racing with ideas. Peter wouldn’t take money just because. He’s stubborn, much like Tony himself. So… how he could trick him into accepting it? Or should he start making protein bars that contain enough calories for him to live on? He could do that. He’s already had the idea for Steve once. Surely it won’t be too hard to make.
“Mr Stark?” Peter repeats. “You’ve gone silent. It’s creepy.”
“Nothing,” Tony says, giving him a smile. “Just got carried away by my thoughts. All good.”
Peter looks at him weirdly. He must decide it’s not worth getting into as he pushes himself off the desk and walks towards Tony’s main workplace. “Can I please work on something?”
“Something digital, maybe,” Tony says, catching up with the kid. “How do you feel about doing something for the Avengers?”
Peter’s eyes light up like a kid in the candy store. “Hell yeah!” he grins, watching with wide eyes as Tony gets up some projects. His face falls as he spots one, and Tony wonders why he’s so upset. It’s like a back and forth between them. One gets sad and doesn’t say why and then the other repeats it. Tony had this type of miscommunication with a lot of people in his life, and it’s never been good. “Kid? Why has…,” he follows Peter’s eye line to see what he’s staring at “’ FINDING SPIDER-MAN upset you so much?”
“I think Spider-Man wants to be left alone.”
“You do, huh?” Tony says. “And why’s that?”
“He’s a lone wolf. Not an Avengers type of person. Likes to save the little people and would rather not be part of a super team… I think.”
Tony starts to get suspicious. Things start to add up in his head. He tries to test his theory. “And how old do you think Spider-Man is?”
“Twenty?” Peter says. “Yeah, twenty.”
“That’s young, don’t you think? I don’t think anyone that young could be a superhero successfully. And keeping it a secret? There’s no way. If I had powers at that age… there’s no way I would keep them to myself. Hell, I couldn’t keep Iron-Man a secret at thirty-eight.”
“Someone that age could totally keep it a secret. You know what, I think he might be even younger.”
“How young?” Tony asks.
Peter pauses. He looks defeated. “I know what you’re trying to do.”
“Then tell me, kid,” Tony says. “I promise you won’t be in trouble.”
Tony thinks he’s got it. Peter’s covering for one of his super-human friends he’s made. He knows who Spider-Man is. So, Tony starts mentally narrowing down the people he thought it might be to those who are about eighteen to twenty years old. He’s almost got him! There’s no way the Spider is going to hide for much longer.
“You really do promise? And you promise that when I tell you… that you won’t send me away or tell my aunt. Or tell anyone. If you must tell the Avengers… I guess that’s fine. But I really can’t have you telling the public, Mr Stark. Please. Please, promise me.”
“I promise, kid.”
Peter takes a deep, long, breath. His breathing is erratic. Then he says something that Tony really wasn’t expecting. Because… Spider-Man isn’t in hiding. In fact, he’s in the open. Tony can’t believe his ears because Peter, after all this time, tells Tony that he is the person he’s been looking for.
“I’m Spider-Man.”