Chapter 5
''Buck? Are you busy?''
He looks up from the design he has been working on since this morning, wincing at the way his back cracks. Steve is looking at him with a hesitant smile on his face.
''No.'' Bucky answers drily. ''Obviously I'm just lazing around, doing absolutely nothing at all since I came in this morning.''
Steve snorts and rolls his eyes but he doesn't take it to heart. He never does.
''Are you feeling up for doing a tattoo? My appointment is asking for you instead.''
Bucky frowns in confusion. They have a policy that appointments can't be switched to another artist unless there's no other option. Besides, Steve is a great tattoo artist. He's very skilled and knows perfectly fine what he's doing.
''You know that's not how it works. Tell them you are more than capable to-''
Steve rolls his eyes again, more amused this time.
''He knows I can do it perfectly well myself. Sam simply prefers you.''
Bucky's brain stutters to a halt because-
What.
''But he's your appointment.'' he protests weakly, not really understanding why he is rejecting the idea. Bucky is the best at doing animals, sure, but that doesn't explain why Sam needs him to do his tattoo.
The past few weeks proved that Sam and him are perfectly capable of maintaining a friendship. They don't argue so much anymore, aside from a couple misunderstanding here and there, and Bucky finds he actually enjoys Sam's company. Sometimes they will even curl up on the couch together to watch a movie.
He's still getting used to it. It's not like they're best friends all of a sudden but they share a new found respect for each other. Sam was right when he told Bucky he was a whole other person with Brian, that he never really was himself. Bucky can see it, too.
Sam is an actual sweetheart by nature, always going out of his way to please other people. He isn't so prickly and quick to get angry anymore whenever Bucky asks him something. He laughs more and it seems like there's an actual weight lifted from his shoulders.
It took a bit of time to realise that this Sam is the actual Sam instead of the version he was when he was dating Brian. It's like a whole other person. Bucky likes this Sam so much better though.
Steve takes the silence as refusal. ''I can just tell him you're too busy if you don't-''
''No.'' Bucky clears his throat and stands up. ''I- yeah. It's fine. I'll do it.''
His best friends nods slowly as if he doesn't really believe him but he doesn't push any further. ''Call for me if you need any help, yeah? I'll be in here to finish up the paperwork Clint didn't finish yesterday.''
Bucky agrees easily before shuffling towards the front. Clint is busy with a chest piece on a regular and Tony is chatting with Sam at the counter. He looks so casual today, wearing jeans and a hoodie. It's a bit weird to see him like this but it's also really attractive. Sam has the gift of looking like a God while wearing nothing too spectacular.
He doesn't know why he's thinking about how good Sam looks.
Sam turns his head and a huge smile appears when he notices Bucky. He seems genuinely happy to see Bucky and it does weird things to his stomach.
''Hey,'' Bucky greets him, trying his best to ignore Tony's eyes burning in the side of his head. ''You asked for me?''
''Yeah,'' Sam immediately agrees, stepping away from the counter to turn to Bucky. ''if you don't mind? I know Steve will do a great job but you're the expert.''
He laughs a bit strangled, this time failing to ignore the way Tony snorts loudly.
Sam has a way with words. He knows what to say and how to say it to make people feel special and appreciated. Before he also knew exactly what to say to hurt Bucky's feelings so this is completely different. He prefers Sam complimenting him over insults.
''Sure.'' Bucky settles for, nodding his head to the side so Sam will follow him. He does.
As Bucky sets everything up Sam plops down on the chair. Bucky can't keep from laughing when he sees Sam's face. He looks like a kid on Christmas morning, ready to receive his presents.
''You don't even look nervous.'' he points out, clicking the right needle in the tattoo gun. Sam shrugs and looks at the equipment Bucky will be using, looking particularly interested in the ink. ''That's because I'm not. I know you will do a great job.''
There's the complimenting again.
Bucky waves it off by deflecting. Accepting compliments never came easily for him and even now it makes him feel a bit awkward.
''It's going to hurt though. Y'know, with the needle and everything.''
Sam shrugs. ''I trust you.''
If he keeps this up with the complimenting Bucky is going to have a stroke. He doesn't know what the fuck came over Sam today to act all happy and soft but it makes him a bit nervous. Besides, he doesn't know how to answer.
At the end he doesn't, simply keeping himself busy with the preparations. When he's ready he looks up to Sam, offering him a small smile. ''I'm ready if you are.''
Sam lifts the hoodie over his head and his torso comes into view for everyone to see.
Bucky's definitely having that stroke now.
It's not a secret he has no preferences, he loves women as much as he loves men. He appreciates the soft curves of a woman but he also dreams about hard muscles all the same.
Sam's muscles are no exception and fuck does he look good. It's obvious he works out and takes care of himself.
He never saw Sam without a shirt before. He's fucking thankful for that because he doesn't think he'll survive if he needs to look at this every single day. He knows that Sam works out a lot but only now does he actually see the result. Of course it's visible too when he's wearing tight shirts, those muscles can't exactly be covered up easily, but there are also abs and a v-line and firm shaped pecks-
Bucky almost chokes on his spit.
The thing is, Bucky always knew Sam looks good. He's man enough to admit that Sam is a handsome guy, everyone with eyes can see that. Even when he hated his guts there was no denying Sam is good looking.
But now they're friends and Bucky is slowly learning how sweet Sam actually is. His head is still trying to catch up with that fact and now he also needs to deal with knowing Sam's body is ripped. What the fuck.
He's staring. He knows he is.
Bucky rips his eyes away quickly, ignoring the heat that rises to his cheeks. If Sam noticed him staring he doesn't comment on it.
''How do you want me?'' he asks, a hint of humour edging the words. Bucky refrains from answering with something sarcastic like; 'What's your usual position?'
''You can sit up or lay down, whatever you want.'' he answers instead. The other man seems to consider his options for a minute before choosing.
''Can I start by sitting up? I'll let you know if it gets too uncomfortable.''
Bucky easily agrees and guides Sam to sit properly in the chair. He tilts the backrest a bit backwards so Sam can somewhat lean forwards with his chest pressed against the backrest. He checks if Sam is comfortable enough before biting his lip in thought.
''Would you mind if I get seated behind you? That way I have easy access to your back.'' It feels awkward to ask but he doesn't know why. He doesn't always do this, only with clients he feels comfortable enough with like Wade and now Sam.
The silence drags on for a second too long so he starts pulling back. ''I don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable, I can just take my chair and-''
''Buck,'' Sam says, turning his head so he can look at him. ''it's fine.''
His words sound honest enough but insecurity already planted in his belly. He doesn't know why he doesn't move, Sam said it was fine.
The man in question sits up properly and turns, grasping Bucky's hand in his. ''You're doing it again.'' He doesn't sound annoyed, merely a bit amused.
''Doing what?'' Bucky asks confused as his eyes flicker down to their hands entwined. If Steve would see them like this he would pop a blood vessel from laughing so hard.
''You do this staring thing whenever you're thinking too much. It's kind of a problem'' Sam laughs and squeezes Bucky's hand before letting go. ''It's fine, Buck. You can sit behind me.''
Normally he would protest because he has no staring problem, thank you very much. But it wouldn't change anything so he settles for rolling his eyes, waiting until Sam settles back in the chair before taking a seat behind him.
He pointedly ignores the fact how close their bodies are. This is not the right time for his dick to get interested. Honestly, who can blame him? Sam is fucking gorgeous and close enough to touch, every person with a right mind would get a little turned on by him.
Bucky cleans the area between Sam's shoulders before sticking the stencil to his skin. the design rests beautifully between his shoulder blades, the falcon's wings moving with Sam's movements.
''Before I start,'' Bucky softly squeezes Sam's waist to gain his attention. ''you need to tell me if you start to feel dizzy or nauseous because I can't see your face from here.'' Sam hums in agreement. ''Try not to move too much and also tell me when the pain becomes unbearable. We have enough time so don't feel like you can't take any breaks in between.''
Sam's body tenses when Bucky starts, obviously not knowing what to do with the weird pain. After a few lines he slowly starts to relax and the tension starts dripping from his muscles.
At first they don't really talk. Bucky is so focused on his work that he gets lost in it like he always does. He loves to see a design come together on people's skin because it's always different. The black that he uses for the lines stands out against Sam's chocolate coloured skin. He secretly can't wait until he'll use the red ink.
Sam's voice breaks the silence and startles Bucky a bit.
''You never told me why you started tattooing.''
Bucky hums as he finishes a feather. ''You never asked.''
''I am now.'' Sam shoots back. He huffs out a small laugh and Bucky knows he's smiling even without seeing his face.
''I studies law before this.'' Bucky starts, eyes focused on his work. ''Even worked for a really fancy law firm for like three years. But then the accident happened and ..''
He trails off and swallows thickly, removing the needle from Sam's skin momentarily. Thinking back to the accident always makes him feel on edge, it reminds him to the turning point of his life. Sam carefully speaks up.
''You decided you wanted something different?''
Bucky nods although Sam can't see. ''Yeah. Losing an arm and almost your life puts things in perspective I guess.''
He warns Sam before continuing the tattoo.
''How does that even work?'' Sam asks, carefully lifting his forearm without moving his shoulder to explain what he's talking about. Almost immediately he follows up his previous words. ''Sorry, is that insensitive to ask?''
Bucky laughs softly and closes another feather on Sam's skin.
''I'm used to you being insensitive.'' he teases.
''You're lucky I can't pinch you like this, Barnes.'' Sam answers but there's no heat to it, simply easy banter between the two of them. Bucky supresses a smile threatening to take over his face.
''My arm is really advanced. It's comes closest to an actual arm aside from how it looks.'' He stops tattooing again, only to press his vibranium hand against Sam's lower back. ''Heat sensors are linked to my nerves so I can feel texture, pressure and temperature just fine. I can feel the warmth from your back as easy as your skin.''
He softly brushes his fingers upwards over Sam's spine, stopping beneath the area where the tattoo is coming to life. ''Just like the ridges of your spine.''
Sam is breathing a bit shallow beneath his hand so he retrieves it, frowning in worry. ''You okay?'' Sam nods his head and clears his throat as if he's embarrassed. ''Just listening.''
Bucky continues his work now he knows Sam isn't feeling wobbly or anything. ''So the arm is attached to the remaining nerves in your shoulder?'' Bucky hums in confirmation. ''Does that mean you can also feel pain?''
''To a certain level.'' He dips the needle in the ink before returning to Sam's back. ''I can experience pain but not very extreme. It's more than a dull ache whenever the arm hurts.''
''You could star in an action movie.'' Sam laughs. ''They could shoot actual bullets at your arm without any risk of hurting you.''
Bucky pinches his side, smirking when Sam yelps in surprise.
''Watch it, Wilson. I'll stab you with this needle if I have to.''
''You're already stabbing me. Multiple times a minute.'' Sam points out, obviously not bothered by Bucky's threat.
Bucky snorts but accepts the smile pulling at his mouth. This feels so much better than before, when all they would do was argue and get angry with each other. With every passing day he feels that they're growing closer.
A comfortable silence falls over them as Bucky works and Sam breathes through the pain. He notices that Sam starts breathing more shallow as he works towards the middle. Bucky finishes the left outline before turning the machine off.
''I think it's time for a short break.'' he proposes, pressing his hand against the small of Sam's back when he slowly sits back. It was a good idea to press pause because Bucky notices the lack of colour on Sam's cheeks and the way he nods weakly.
He tells Sam to sit tight before hurrying off, returning quickly with a can of coke. Sam takes it with a grateful smile, slowly taking sips from the cold beverage.
Bucky takes a seat on his usual chair and shuffles closer until their knees are touching. He gently nudges against Sam's knee to ask for his attention.
''You never told me if there's a meaning behind your tattoo.''
Sam's mouth wobbles dangerously as he tries not to laugh. ''You never asked.'' he repeats Bucky's words from earlier, laughing loudly when he sees Bucky roll his eyes.
''You're such a fucking irritating, annoying asshole.''
Sam scrunches up his face in an adorable way. ''I love it when you talk dirty to me.''
He doubles over when Bucky punches his shoulder in mock-annoyance, laughing so hard Bucky secretly fears he won't be able to breathe normally.
''Shut the fuck up, Samuel. Answer my question.'' Bucky is well aware he is whining like a child to ask for Sam's attention, thank you very much.
He waits until Sam's laughter dies down, the colour has risen back to his face again. There's a soft edge around his eyes when he looks at Bucky and it makes his chest squeeze. Times like these is what makes him forget about everything that happened before between them. Those things don't matter anymore.
''When I was younger I joined the air force.'' Sam suddenly says when he calmed down enough. The statement makes Bucky look up in surprise.
''I didn't know you were in the army.'' Bucky comments. Why would he, anyway? They didn't knew each other until Bucky opened up his tattoo shop and came in contact with Sam through Clint and Steve.
''For five years.'' Sam explains. The corner of his mouth twitches as if a memory flashes through his brain. He suddenly looks a bit off, steering on the edge of sad. Bucky senses he hit a nerve but he keeps quiet, lets Sam get it out of his system.
''I was young and immature, didn't really know what I wanted in life so I figured that joining the army would give me a purpose.'' Bucky nods to show he understands. ''That's where I met Riley, my partner.''
Bucky's eyes skim over Sam's face as he talks. It's true that Sam wears his heart on his sleeve, everything he feels directly shows on his face. His eyes look a little sad and distant but he doesn't seem like he's going to cry.
''We clicked almost immediately. It was like we could read each other's minds, we were that close.'' Bucky silently holds out his hand to offer comfort and Sam takes it.
''You were in love with him.'' Bucky states. It's written all over Sam's face, beneath the layer of sadness there is also pure adoration lighting up his skin. Weirdly enough it doesn't make him feel uncomfortable or awkward.
''And he loved me back.'' Sam whispers. ''It was bound to happen. He was my first everything. First love, first kiss, first- y'know.''
Bucky hums softly. He feels touched that Sam tells him this because it's quite personal. Sam is laying his heart in Bucky's hands, trusting him to take care of it as he spills his guts.
''What happened?''
Maybe he shouldn't ask. Maybe he should allow Sam to end it with that, leave an open ending, but he feels like Sam wants to share what happened. Because something did happen, the grief in his eyes tell as much.
Sam shrugs weakly. ''The helicopter he was in got blown out of the sky. I saw it happen from the ground.''
Bucky doesn't know what to say. No words sound good enough to ease the pain Sam must be feeling, even now after all those years. Losing his first love, maybe even the man he wanted to marry one day, obviously left its scars on his soul.
''I'm sorry.'' It's weak and doesn't help in the slightest but he really is at a loss for words. Luckily Sam seems to understand as he shakes his head, a weak smile on his face as he rubs the back of his hand under his nose.
''Falcons were his favourite animals.'' Sam declares and shit, if Bucky said he doesn't tear up a bit at that he would be lying. ''I picked the red for the wings because his favourite colour was red.''
He swallows harshly to get himself together. That Sam has given his tattoo this much meaning does unspeakable things to Bucky. Something ticks behind his ribs.
''I don't want to speak for Riley,'' Bucky smiles softly when Sam looks at him. ''but I think he would have loved your tattoo.''
Sam smiles back, more genuine and less sad this time. ''I think so, too.''
They continue to joke and laugh a lot as Bucky finishes Sam's tattoo. He needs one more break before Bucky starts shading with the red ink but overall he holds himself really well.
Bucky wipes away the last smudge of ink, smiling proudly when he looks at the result. The falcon looks absolutely stunning against Sam's back, the wing moving every time he breathes or moves. It'll be even prettier once it healed.
''All done.'' Bucky exclaims, patting Sam's waist again. ''Wanna take a look?''
He agrees immediately, carefully pushing himself away from the chair. He goes to stand in front of a full-length mirror as Bucky stands a little to the side, holding a smaller mirror so Sam can see the reflection.
Sam falls silent as he looks at the result, his fingers twitching at his side as if he wants to reach out and touch. He turns a bit so he can see a part of it in the full-length mirror. Bucky eyes him carefully.
''We can always add more red and shading if you prefer.'' He explain, waving his hands around the wings without touching the wound. ''It looks really intense right now but it'll smooth out once it healed.''
''It's perfect.'' Sam doesn't turn away from the mirror but he stretches his arm back so he can wrap his hand around Bucky's. ''Thank you.''
It's funny how they always end up like this. With the same words.
Bucky squeezes his hand. ''You're welcome.''
**
It's late when Bucky returns home. His stomach has long stopped rumbling for food and his muscles don't even ache anymore. After Sam's appointment Steve showed him a really big mistake in their paper work, forcing them all to stay late to fix it.
He sighs deeply once he enters the apartment, backpack falling from his shoulders towards the ground. Sam pokes his head out from his bedroom when he hears the noise.
''Hey.'' He frowns a little. ''You're late.''
''Really? I haven't noticed. Very clever of you.'' Bucky grumbles, his tone more clipped than he meant for it to sound. He sighs in defeat, shoulders dropping with the movement.
''Sorry,'' Bucky apologizes, ''I didn't mean it like that.''
This is a moment where normally they would end up in a huge fight. Sam will get properly pissed because Bucky reacts this way and Bucky will push back, starting a fight without an actual reason.
Luckily Sam seems to understand. He shakes his head as he walks closer, picking up Bucky's backpack from the ground. ''Don't worry about it.'' He gently steers Bucky towards the kitchen, guiding him down to sit on a chair.
Sam doesn't speak as he makes two cups of tea and neither does Bucky, too tired to start a conversation he probably can't finish. He mumbles a quiet thanks to Sam when he hands him his tea.
''Did something happen at work?'' Sam begins, his tone careful as if he tries not to set Bucky off. It makes something unpleasant settle in his belly, to think that Sam walks on eggshells around him to avoid an argument. Friends shouldn't have to do that.
Bucky takes a sip of his tea, taking note of the fact that Sam made it just the way he likes to drink it, which- Okay.
''Steve found out there was a huge mistake in the paperwork, which messed everything royally up that came after.'' Bucky tries to explain. ''We got it fixed but it took a shit ton of time.''
Sam hums in sympathy, sipping from his own tea. ''D'you need to get up early tomorrow?'' he asks, worry lines appearing around his eyes as he looks at Bucky.
He shakes his head. ''I'm off tomorrow.''
''Good,'' Sam says, smiling this time. ''then we can watch the third part of The Hobbit together.''
Bucky laughs and rolls his eyes but he doesn't reject the idea. He read the books when he was little and ever since he also fell in love with the movies. The books are better but the movies are really great, too.
''Fine,'' he agrees, rubbing his knuckles over his eyes to get rid of the weariness lingering. ''as long as I can sleep in.''
''Waking up at eight is a reasonable time.'' Sam point out.
Bucky looks at him drily. ''No, it's not. Especially not on your day off. What the hell is wrong with you, Wilson?''
Sam snorts and grins, the gap between his teeth on display. It's not the first time Bucky sees it and also not the first time he finds it adorable. He averts his eyes to look at his tea.
''Well excuse me for waking up early for my morning run. I like it that way.''
''Right,'' Bucky scrunches up his face. ''because working out when the sun isn't even up yet is so fun.''
Sam doesn't bother with an answer but he laughs anyway, gently pressing his foot against Bucky's. Neither of them move away.
''Could you do me a favour before you go to sleep?'' Sam stands up and takes their empty mugs with him, placing them on the counter before turning back to Bucky who hums in agreement. ''Do you mind rubbing my back with that cream you gave me? I can't reach it properly.''
Ah. There's that small stroke again.
''Sure.'' His brain-to-mouth filter obviously doesn't care about his feelings, making the decision for him. Wasn't seeing Sam shirtless once today fucking enough?
Sam wastes no time is ripping his shirt over his head and Bucky tries really hard not to stare. He looks even better than a few hours before. Is that possible?
He turns his back towards Bucky and he shuffles closer. ''It'll probably sting a bit.'' Bucky warns before he carefully smooths some cream over the tattoo. Sam tries to move away from the touch with a soft hiss so Bucky wraps his free hand around Sam's arm to stop him.
''Easy.'' he gently pulls Sam back before rubbing some more cream in his skin. He tries to ignore the firm muscles beneath his hands and the soft skin but it's difficult, it takes all of his strength not to let his hands wander.
He doesn't know why they wander anyway.
When he's done his hand drops a bit lower and without thinking about it he follows the dip of Sam's spine. It's dead quiet in the kitchen aside from their breathing. A certain tension lingers between them and builds the longer Bucky touches Sam, carefully running his hand to Sam's hip.
Before he can do anything stupid the moment gets broken. Sam's phone pings loudly with a notification, breaking them apart. Bucky rips his hands away from Sam as if he'd been burned, awkwardly clearing his throat.
''Want me to help you again tomorrow morning?'' he asks, avoiding Sam's eyes as he turns back around. His heart is beating a bit too fast for his liking but he doesn't know why.
''Please.'' Sam answers.
And that's that.