Becca Barnes

What was going on again? My eyes were closed, and my thoughts were slightly sluggish. I heard some people talking in the background, but I didn’t have enough energy to figure out what they were talking about. Couldn't I just sleep?
Where was I even? What was I lying on? It didn’t feel like the stiff bed in the hospital or the annoying cot from my room at school... it felt sort of like I was lying on sand.
There was a hum of machinery above me, and I cracked my eyes open. The blaring light made me balk and squeeze my eyelids shut. From my glimpse I saw a bright white lab (ughhh! Could no one use legitimate colours?!) with a crap load of futuristic machinery, gun-like things on a shelf right next to odd looking technology and stuff.
WHAT WAS GOING ON?!!
“She’s awake” a heavily accented, female voice said above and to my right, she sounded like she was from somewhere in Africa maybe?
There were a few faint clicks as I opened my eyes again, this time slightly more prepared.
Panic later I told myself, closing my eyes again now it’s time to think, Bec, don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic... deep breath in, deep breath out... just breathe...
I obeyed myself and relaxed.
There was a young girl in front of me. An older teen probably around my age. She looked African with her dark skin and hair. Her eyes glinted with humour and excitement, and she seemed so lively with all her fancy and shimmery jewelry.
I looked past her and saw Mr. Wilson standing in the corner with his arms crossed and a curious expression. Today he was wearing a blue t-shirt and grey jeans.
That brought me to, what was I wearing? I made the necessary effort to look down at myself. I was wearing shorts and a purple t-shirt. The shorts were too short for my liking, going only about 10 inches long and terribly uncomfortable while the t-shirt was baggy and too big. None of it was comfortable.
“Your clothes were just what I could find” the girl said, distracted by some sort of holographic display with light blue lines “You can change whenever you’re up to it”
Mr. Wilson walked over and held out his hand “Sam Wilson”
I moved and awkwardly sat up. I looked down and saw I what I was sitting on indeed looked like black sand or something of that sort.
I shook his hand “Rebecca Barnes, nice to meet you Mr. Wilson”
Mr. Wilson shook his head “Please, call me Sam. Mr. Wilson is too formal and stiff for me”
I tilted my head slightly. I had been taught to call my elders Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. no one had ever told me to just call them by their first name. Well, except Sarah Rogers when I went to visit Bucky that one summer.
So, I just shrugged.
“Talk much?” he asked
I shrugged again.
“About as much as a dead dog” Bucky dryly told Mr. Wils - oh, uh... Sam, right...
I rolled my eyes at Bucky “I talk more than a dead dog” I muttered under my breath
“Really?” he asked “Because you never sound louder than one”
I narrowed my eyes and stuck out my tongue. Really, it was just great to have my brother back after so long. Nothing but letters and one summer together for 12 years is not fun. I would not recommend it.
The African girl walked away to a corner of the room. I realized this place was some kind of lab or something. Where was I? I echoed the question out loud for Bucky and Sam to hear.
The girl answered instead “You’re in Wakanda since your brother stupidly brought you here against his better thoughts.” she looked meaningfully at Buck then shook her head “It doesn’t matter though, you needed our help so, I have given you what you need. I'm Shuri”
I nodded politely as a greeting “What did you do to me?”
Shuri came back over holding something that looked almost like a leg. But if a leg was black with small gold seams and mechanical.
“I healed you, now, hold still, this might feel weird” Shuri warned and pushed the edge of my shorts back on my right stump
Now, the stump ends somewhere between 9-13 inches from the hip and got cut off since I originally had cancer in my leg. But then (yay me) I get so lucky and get cancer in my arm too. My arm wasn’t taken though. At least I didn’t think so...
Nope, it was still there. But now I think about it, there had been no pain sine I'd woken up in Wakanda. And it didn’t hurt to breath, and I wasn’t coughing every 5 seconds. YAY! Also… what had happened???
Shuri pressed the mechanical thing against my leg.
At first there was an odd tingling sensation. Then it intensified so it was on the verge of being painful. The sensation crept up my body until everything was in a muddled place between pins-and-needles and pain. I was going to move to push the strange appendage away when I realized I was paralyzed. I could still think but... wait, had Shuri captured me? Was this a trap?
The strange sensation lessened then all of a sudden completely stopped. I fell forward, and when I can to my senses, I was surprised to realize I felt both legs pressed against the ground.
What was going on?
“Sorry” Shuri primly told me “The current prosthetics we have right now have a strange calibrating process. I tried to warn you...”
I sighed and pushed myself up, so I sat up. It took me a few extra seconds to figure out how to use the necessary muscles to bring my right leg around. Right, I would have to learn to walk again, for the 3rd time. I was not very excited for that.
I slowly brought my legs to my chest and turned around. I nearly fell at first. I wasn’t used to having 2 legs so my right one slipped back right away and nearly cause my left one to too. But I managed to catch on to the edge of the counter and slowly bring my legs together, straighten them, twist around again, and sit on the black sand table.
It was a very tedious and trying job for an extraordinarily impatient teen.
“You’ll need to do some exercises to get better” Shuri warned
I glared at the floor below me. I’d come to detest exercised, more your arm this way, move your arm that way, try to use the cane like this... I didn’t do well with asking help or getting help because of a stupid thing called pride.
“You may want someone to help you too” Shuri warned “It’s not easy nor fun trying to learn to walk by yourself”
It also isn’t easy or fun trying to learn to walk with someone constantly pestering you about how to do things and what might be a better way to try it.
I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR BETTER WAY. I CAN LEARN JUST FINE MYSELF! I DON’T NEED YOUR LECTURES OR YOUR TIPS, I CAN LEARN BY MYSELF THANK YOU VERY MUCH! TRIAL AND ERROR IS MUCH EASIER WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE SOMEONE NAGGING YOU IN YOUR EAR!
I took a few deep breaths. I got irritated up pretty easily by the smallest things that no one else would even call a problem. Breathe.
I shrugged.
Who did I want to help me if I had to anyway? Not a person from Wakanda or some weirdly powered person... My next thought made me feel like an awful sister: I didn’t want Bucky to do it either because I didn’t want to be humiliated in front of him.
“I can do it” Sam volunteered
“She’s my sister” Bucky said and pressed his lips together, he was annoyed “I can do it”
“Sure, but have you ever helped someone who lost a limb?” Sam inquired
Bucky’s eyes lit up with the challenge “Have you ever lost a limb?” the corner of his mouth twitched slightly “Because I somehow don’t remember that ever happening”
I bit my lip to keep from smirking. My mouth twitched anyway.
“But-” Sam started
“Do you two realize you sound like an old married couple?” Shuri asked, not even trying to hide her smirk
Sam and Buck sighed together which only made the comment more applicable.
“Who does Rebecca even want” Sam asked
“Becca” I corrected and shrugged
“Your tell hasn’t changed” Bucky straightly told me “Don’t lie, Rikki”
I bit my lip in annoyance.
Bucky stared intensely in no particular direction. He was thinking back in his memories, he occasionally did this when we were younger, and his cards would often contain memories and things like that.
Shuri’s watch beeped “Okay, I'll be back in a second” Shuri said and walked out, the door shut softly behind her
Sam nodded then turned to my brother “You’re doing the staring thing again.”
Bucky snapped into the present “No I wasn’t”
I let out a quiet laugh.
“Yeah, you were, Buck” Sam said “You agree with me right, Becca?”
I froze and paled slightly as they both looked at me. I glanced at Bucky, then Sam. I nodded my head slightly.
I liked being present. I liked being there as things happened. I just didn’t like to talk much by new people.
Bucky sighed and shook his head “You’re wrong, Sam. You too, Rikki”
Sam raised his eyebrows.
I stuck my tongue out like a civilized person.
Bucky sighed and excused himself to use the washroom.
“So...” Sam tried to lighten the mood “Who is it you want to help you?”
I noticed he didn’t say teach you which surprised me a bit. I guess there was more to Sam then I'd thought, as there often was more to people than meets the eyes. I knew better than most.
I shrugged and acted like I didn’t care. Internally I was chanting I want myself, I want myself, I want myself... Sam obviously couldn’t hear thoughts though.
“Everyone knows who they want, or at least, who they don’t want” Sam said “You’re not the first person I've met who’s struggling after losing a limb.”
I thinned my mouth “I’m not struggling”
Sam raised a single eyebrow, he obviously didn’t believe me.
A spark of anger came within me, no one believed me. There was a faint static in my ears before I squished the anger so it wouldn’t burn uncontrollably.
“Okay then, walk to me”
I bit my tongue, my stomach tightening to keep away more anger. I slowly eased myself off the counter and stood carefully. I nearly fell forward right away, but I manageable. I slowly figured out a shuffle-walk I could use.
Sam watched, curious and wary of me “Don’t be too stupid” he warned
I took a deep breath and bit my tongue again. I am not stupid contrary to what many people seem to believe. Their faith in me is truly astounding, I don’t know how they hold on to hope when it is so bleak.
I took another breath, calming down my sarcasm. I needed to get back on track.
Shuffle my left foot a few inches, slide my right... contraption... forward, slide my left foot forward, slide my right contraption. Then I nearly fell again but I caught myself.
I (kind of) quickly got to the end of the counter. What now? Sam was a few feet to my left, maybe 5 ½ feet away. If I was nearly 5 feet tall then...
I tried to take a step towards Sam, falling in the process. My arms spread out in front of me, catching and softening my fall. My palms stung for a second, but they quickly got used to the extra weight. I lowered myself to the ground.
Sam knelt down by my side “Are you ok, Becca, I didn’t mean to-ow!” I slapped his face “Wha'd' ya do that for?!”
I brought my hand to me head as a wave a dizziness crashed over me. I closed my eyes for a second and bit my lip.
“Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on you” Sam said, and I could tell he’d stood back up
The dizziness hadn’t passed within a few minutes and Sam must’ve knelt back down or something. He started to say something else, but I couldn’t understand it, it was all slurred and muddled. I must have hit my head really hard or something.
It started to subside a bit later, but it was still odd for this to happen. I had low blood pressure or something so sometimes if I stood up suddenly, I would get dizzy for a second and see black spots on my vision or get a headache, but it always subsided very quickly.
This was different.
“Are you ok?” Sam asked louder, it was all slurred, so it took me a second to register what he’d said. It sounded more like ahreh yuooo oakyy?
I shook my head slightly. Everything was weirdly distant to me right now and it took extra energy to even simply more my head.
“Have you recently gotten shot, stabbed, gotten drugged, or ingested unusual chemicals?” ‘ave yooo ‘ottehn sho’, s’abbed, ‘rugged, er in’ested unnoosooahl ‘hemicles?
I shook my head. Then nodded.
“Pym Particles” I whispered
Sam said nothing for a second, but he began quickly talking. I wasn’t sure if he was talking to himself or me. Maybe it’s strange, but I often talk to myself because, well, why not?
Sam paused again “You’re her” he whispered this, but it was slow and clear enough that I could understand
Who? Who did Sam think I was?
“Well,” he talked a little louder than normal again “This is sure to be interesting.”
There were a few high pitch clicks then a sigh and someone asked a question. Shuri, I think. Sam responded and Shuri muttered something quietly, probably curses. More clicks, footsteps probably, Shuri was probably wearing heels.
There was a bright light behind my eyelids, and I realized that my eyes were closed. How long had they been like that? My sense of balance became even worse for a second then I got set down somewhere.
“Bucky?” I asked “What happened?”
“He went to the washroom” Sam said
Shuri cursed again and said something to Sam.
“No” I slowly said “Why’s he so... depressed-looking?”
Dead silence. No one said anything, not even a curse which I was beginning to think were something extremely common-even from and by girls- in the 21st century.
“He’s...” Sam started slowly “He’s... he’s been through a lot and if neither him nor Steve told you, it’s not my place to either”
“Not your place to what?” Bucky asked, the others clearly hadn’t realized he was there. His voice was clearer than the others, I was slightly more used to it and could understand him a bit better.
Sam quickly explained, at least I assumed he explained since he talked quicker than I could understand. Shuri said something too.
Someone pressed a cloth over my nose and mouth.
I chocked on the sickly sweet sedative it had been soaked in, but it did nothing to me. I'd gone through so many sedatives with my cancer that most sedatives didn’t do anything to me anymore, I needed something strong which surprised many people since I was so skinny and short.
There was a small sigh, probably someone realizing that they need a better sedatives.
A quick cloth swap and I obediently breathed in. It took a couple breaths, but I got knocked out.

When I woke up, I was back on the black sand table, a small white patch was on my right arm. I slowly sat up, feeling refreshed.
“How are you feeling, Becca?” Shuri asked without turning away from her work
“Good” I said, simple, quick, and not a complete lie
I was feeling ok. My head heart slightly, but not that bad. It was more annoying than anything. My thoughts were slightly sluggish, but I knew that would wear off in a few seconds- and it did.
“You got something foreign in your blood and didn’t tell anyone?” Bucky asked “Why the hell would you do something that stupid”
I looked down and shrugged, biting my lip.
Truthfully, I'd forgotten. Generally, when traveling 85 years (or so) in the future, the biggest worry on your mind is panic from crazy things. I realized it probably should’ve crossed my mind with the Pym Particles though. I guess maybe I had assumed that when Shuri healed my cancer, she got the Pym Particles too...? I don’t know.
Bucky sighed and bit his lip too.
“Do you realize how closely you two mirror each other's movements?” Shuri asked “And you look alike too. Sharp features, intense eyes, strong and lean, intimidating and impressive...”
I raised an eyebrow “I’m short, skinny and, quiet not strong and intimidating and I silver-blonde hair not dark brown. I have freckles too, Bucky doesn't”
“You have similar eyes, though, blue, sad, and intense” Sam put in
Bucky shrugged “I don’t really see it”
“Maybe it’s one of those things that everyone looking at you sees, but you don’t yourself” Sam said “Like your intense staring”
Bucky narrowed his eyes and sighed “I don’t know what you’re talking about”
I snickered softly and Buck shot me a dirty look.
“I didn’t say anything” I muttered
“I didn’t ask” he muttered back
There was a sharp knock on the door before it smoothly slid open. A regal-looking man with dark skin, hair and eyes. He seemed like a noble or something by the way he carried himself and the fact that he was flanked by 2 guards, one on each side.
“Brother” Shuri said “Welcome”
“Hello White Wolf” he said
Sam looked over at Bucky with surprise. Bucky raised his eyebrows in a way that meant, see? I told you so, Sam.
“Hello Mr. Wilson” the man continued nodding to everyone in turn “Welcome, Rebecca.” I bit my lip as to not correct him. Becca. Not Rebecca “Sister, we need to talk”
“I was under the impression that we were” Shuri replied with a smirk “Becca, this is my brother, T’Challa”
I nodded awkwardly. My fingers were fidgeting. It felt stiff and strange.
“Shuri” T’Challa warned “You know what I mean.”
“What is it?” Shuri asked
T’Challa glanced uncertainly at me, I looked down and hunched my shoulders, making myself as small as I could.
“Zemo” he said finally
Bucky and Sam quietly cursed. Shuri paused her work to look at her brother, there was fear in her eyes, she looked very uncomfortable.
Shuri closed her eyes and made some strange gesture “May father rest in peace.”
T’Challa walked over and placed a hand on his sisters' shoulders. He said something in an unfamiliar language that caused a few quiet mutters from Shuri and Bucky. Sam seemed just as lost as I was.
Zemo. Who was he again?
“I should go” Bucky excused himself and looked pointedly at Sam until he went too, they bid farewell to me
T’Challa glanced at me, but Shuri shook her head.
“Nah, for very complicated reasons, Becca can’t be out of sight of a medic until I say so. It's a long story” Shuri explained “And I've only gotten a small piece of it” she shook her head and they started having a long conversation in the unfamiliar tongue
A long conversation. I got super bored a few minutes in. After fidgeting with my fingers for second, after dragging second, after dragging second. It was very boring and dull when you couldn’t understand a word being said.
I scooted to the edge of the counter.
T’Challa and Shuri glanced at me as I moved. The Dora Milage looked like they were trying to stare me down. I wondered briefly if they thought I was some sort of threat. Clearly, I wasn’t, I was just a skinny kid with one leg.
“Don’t fall” Shuri switched to English for my benefit “It’s a pain to pick you up, and I'm sure it’s terribly humiliating. I can make it more so too” with that threat she switched back to whatever language she’d started in with her brother
I brushed my toes gently against the floor and put a bit of pressure on my legs. I caught myself as I nearly fell, what I mean is I barely saved myself from crashing into the ground by grabbing the edge with my hand, hurting my shoulder in the process and my legs slipping so I was nearly all on the ground anyway.
Shuri smirked as she watched my ungraceful... descent. I shot her a dirty look that conveyed to her never to mention this to Bucky or Sam (who would probably just tell my brother).
I sighed as I pulled myself into a standing position. I hated being so helpless. It made me frustrated, and I just generally felt like shit.
I took a deep breath, not that it helped much. A lot of the time breathing deeply just made my frustration curl up into a condensed ball in my chest. My emotions just became a huge knot in my gut that felt like my stomach was constantly knotted.
As much as I hated it, I didn't know any other ways of coping because apparently my teachers decided that moody teens should just suffer through the full extent of raging emotions while being told to control themselves. Why they thought that crap, I think they were just all complete idiots!
I took another deep breath. This was just habit now. I really felt like punching something. But it was hard to get somewhere to punch something when you couldn’t walk!
My condensed ball of emotions started to dissipate in waves. Years of unsolved emotions. Bottled up frustration with cancer, parents' deaths, family dissolving, leaving my known world, years of being bullied...
I took step forward, but instead of falling, I... kind of fell?
I tumbled forward, but instead of hitting the floor, my sense of balance when all whack and I became extremely dizzy. I realized there was a buzzing in my ears, like static or something. I squeezed my eyes shut as I tumbled over, I couldn’t even tell if I was going forward or backwards or left or right, or maybe I was even going up!