May held onto the front of certainty as Peter led the strangers into Happy’s apartment. She would not stray from her course, but even she had to admit that this was… a lot. Norman was a seemingly ordinary nice guy, despite the obvious mental issues. Now they were standing in the room with a man made entirely out of sand, one who could send spikes of electricity out of his hands, and one who had tentacles attached to his body. Thank the lord the lizard stayed in the van.
“I don’t need fixing,” the octopus man said. Otto Octavius, Peter had said. “Especially by a teenager using scraps from a bachelor’s junk drawer.”
The words he spat out were clearly meant to draw blood, and May was proud to see that Peter didn’t allow them to knock him off his balance. Electricity man soon followed Peter into the storage room. As Peter explained that Happy evidently did have Stark tech tucked away in his house, May returned to the kitchen, gladly leaving the boys to their toys.
“He’s going to kill us all,” Octavius said, to no one in particular.
“Not if I can help it,” May said, offering the man a cautious smile.
Her words seemed to start Octavius out of his own thoughts, as if he hadn’t even been aware she had walked into the room, and had truly been talking to himself.
“Don’t worry. I know he’s a teenager, but he’s capable enough. He did an internship at Stark Industries.”
“I might be comforted if I had any clue what that was,” the man said, turning to face her. The tentacles stayed motionless in the air, hovering around him. Octavius looked decidedly uncomfortable, perhaps more so by her words than by his physical situation.
“Trust me when I say that he knows what he’s doing with this.”
The man opposite her didn’t speak, focusing his eyes on the floor. He balled one of his hands into a fist, and then stretched it again, biting on his lip as if he wanted to say something.
“What is it?” she asked. While the others seemed a bit uneasy with the situation, Marko had settled comfortably on the couch, Electro was revelling in the possibilities of a different universe, and Norman had settled in nicely trying to help Peter with his experiments. Even the lizard guy seemed happy to be in the van. Of course all the men were upset about being displaced from their universe – about possibly being dead – but none of them seemed quite as uncomfortable with the situation as Otto Octavius, who was throwing snide comments their way, but simultaneously seemed unable to look her in the eye.
His gaze did not meet hers as he spoke. “You speak as if I should simply trust you. Trust the boy.”
“He is just a kid,” May said. “He wants to help. We both do.”
“We don’t need help.”
May frowned. “Norman seems happy to––”
“Osborn’s got nothing to do with this.” Octavius seemed to hide away his face completely, the sunglasses obscuring the true expression behind them. He scoffed. “You couldn’t possibly understand.”
“Try me,” May said. “What do you mean by we?”
Octavius seemed in conflict with himself, muttering under his breath. The crease in his forehead almost made it look like he was in physical pain. “I – We don’t need to be cured. The actuators are part of me, and we like it that way.”
“When you say we, do you mean that the tentacles––”
“Actuators.”
“––actuators are actually part of you. That they are part of your consciousness as well?”
“They are part of me. They speak to me. In here.” Octavius made eye contact for the first time since the start of their conversation, and tapped a finger against his head.
“Even though they are disabled?”
“Especially because they are disabled. They are nervous.”
“They are nervous,” May repeated, staring at the man blankly. They. The actuators that Octavius had just admitted were invading not just his body, but also his mind. The actuators that were part of him. That meant that it wasn’t just them who were afraid. If there wasn’t one without the other, he was afraid as well.
“What are you afraid of?” she asked. She wondered if she should look at the actuators instead of just at the man. “All of you?”
He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. From the desperate look on his face, she could tell. Everyone was afraid of death, after all. Even AI actuators.
---
She came to find him again after Peter’s experiment had succeeded. She had given him a moment to get his bearings, of course. He had admitted that his head was quiet again, and she didn’t know what that meant. She didn’t know whether that meant whether the actuators were all right, whether he was all right. He seemed okay enough to her, though. He had thanked Peter, and spoken kindly to Norman.
This man, too, seemed normal now. Way too normal for a man with four extra metal appendages. It was as if Peter’s chip had stripped him of all his anger. Perhaps all of that had been fuelled by the actuators. Their goals, their fears. Perhaps he had simply been afraid for a long time.
May found Octavius staring out of the window, marvelling at all the bright lights of New York City – a place she knew he must know well, but not like this.
“Hey,” she said.
“Ms Parker,” he said, keeping his gaze on the window. “Is there anything I can help you with?” His speech was even, impassionate. She wondered if it was practiced. If he had seemed closed off before, he surely was casually schooling his emotions now. Octavius had been so open with Peter, so welcoming to Norman. She wondered why she got a shut door in her face. Had she seen too much of him, and was he scared still?
“No,” she said simply. “I just wanted to see if you were okay.”
“I am. Better than ever, thanks to your nephew.” He paused, sucking in a breath. “I am grateful, truly.”
“But?”
Octavius turned his face to the side to look her in the eyes. “Why should there be a but?”
She shrugged. “It’s just – you don’t seem okay right now. Is this about what we talked about earlier?”
He seemed to consider her words, the actuators now whirring around him. It was strange to see him like this, yet all the same more natural than when they had been frozen. They moved as one now.
“Do they still speak to you?”
Octavius opened his mouth, then closed it again.
“I’m sorry if that’s too personal. I don’t mean to pry. I just worried––”
“They do. They’re quieter now, though. I can hear my own thoughts again.”
“Oh,” May said stupidly. “That’s… good?”
He smiled wryly. “That depends on what way you look at it.”
“It’s just… I’m glad they are okay too.” She carefully placed her hand on one of the actuators. It seemed to buzz in excitement, and Octavius closed his eyes. “Imagine how fast you could do the dishes.”
The man laughed. “I’ve got to say I hadn’t thought of ever using them for something like that. Rosie would––” His words got stuck in his throat, and he looked away, making sure he wasn’t facing himself in the window.
May moved her hand to his arm, squeezing it softly. She wasn’t sure if it was a trick of the light or if she saw a tear on his cheek, but it was gone as fast as it appeared. Still, she gave Octavius the time to compose himself, and to decide whether he wanted to speak further.
“She was my wife. I – she died. During my experiment, I…” He had difficulty forcing the words out, but May stood her ground. “It was my fault.”
“I’m sorry,” May said. “I know what it feels like to lose a loved one.”
“I killed her.”
“I’m sure you didn’t mean to.”
“That doesn’t make her any less dead.”
May smiled softly. “You’ve got me there.”
“I apologise,” Octavius said, standing up a bit straighter. “I don’t mean to unload all this on you.”
“I don’t mind. It’s always good to have someone to talk to.”
Octavius laughed loudly at that, startling Peter out of his conversation with Max. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make fun of you. It’s just – if there’s anything I haven’t lacked, it’s others to talk to.” He gestured at his actuators. “If anything, there’s been too many voices.”
May grinned as the actuators protested his statement, whirring angrily around his head. “They are kind of cute, once you get used to them.”
“They made me forget, you know,” Octavius said, his voice solemn again. “They made me forget all about Rosie. Everything they talked about was the machine – my work.”
“Dr Octavius…”
“And I can’t even blame them for it. I created them for that sole purpose, so of course that is what they focused on.” He sighed. “I just wish things had been different.”
May shot him a look of sympathy. “You’ve gotten a second chance.”
“One I don’t deserve.”
“It’s not a matter of deserving. You got it. All of you. Use it. You can’t change the past. But the future is all yours.”
Octavius removed his glasses, his smile not quite reaching his eyes, but getting close enough. “You are a kind woman, Ms Parker.”
“May,” she said, holding out her hand.
The man took her hand and shook it. “Otto.”
The actuators apparently caught on to the fact that their human host had deemed her safe, and swirled around May slowly, taking her in with their blue eyes. And as Otto looked fondly onto the antics of his additional limbs, she saw what he would – could – not yet admit. He was glad they were okay too.