Shall We Dance
“What can I get you, ma’am?” the bartender asked.
“I’ll have a Martini.” Barbara replied, checking the clock behind him “One olive, please.”
“Coming right up.” the young man added with a polite smile “Are you waiting for someone?”
Having fully recovered from her concussion, Barbara had exceptionally agreed to another night out with the squad, letting Gina and her ex husband Gerald, who was visiting Philadelphia for the weekend, make up for the precious father-daughter time they had lost. Unlike the first time they had all hung out together, she had shown up at the bar earlier than her colleagues, and she was starting to wonder what was taking the others so long to get there.
“Oh, I’m actually…” the paramedic began, casually tapping her fingers on the counter.
“Not if I’m lucky.” the distinguished man sitting next to her interrupted, checking her out.
“I beg your pardon?” the brunette asked, surprised by his audacity.
Barbara was an attractive woman, and taking great care of her appearance, just like her mother had taught her when she was only a little girl, had always been very important to her. However, she mostly did it to feel good with herself, and surely not to have some kind of effect on the other sex.
“I was hoping a charming lady like you could use some company.” the man said, offering her a hand to shake “I’m Robert.”
“I’m Barbara.” she replied, coldly returning the gesture “I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m indeed waiting for someone.”
“Well, that’s unfortunate...” he commented, moving closer.
It was definitely an uncomfortable situation, but Barbara knew better than to upset a rather inebriated man who was trying to hit on her, and who didn’t exactly sound prone to take ‘no’ for an answer. It was getting late, and her good patience was being tested second after second: where was everyone?
“My friends are almost here.” Barbara clarified, taking a sip from her drink.
“Friends, huh?” he noted, smirking “You’re not on a date, then.”
She couldn’t believe she had set herself up like that. “For God’s sake, I can’t even lie to a stranger.” she thought, cursing her valuable honesty.
“Barb!” Melissa exclaimed, waving one hand to get her friend’s attention.
“Hey!” the paramedic replied with a sigh of relief “Where have you been?”
“Didn’t you see my texts?” the firefighter explained, walking towards her “The kids found an opening at some new exclusive club, or something like that. We were supposed to carpool, but they ditched me.”
“Uh, I’m sorry.” Barbara apologized, slightly tilting her head to point at the man sitting next to her “I’ve been kinda busy here.”
Walking into the bar, Melissa had barely noticed that man, not giving much thought to his presence or his closeness to Barbara. Despite her initial lack of interest in the situation, she could now tell exactly what the other woman was trying to imply, and she knew she had to come up with something to get rid of that lover boy.
“Don’t worry about it, babe .” the redhead said, putting her arm around Barbara “Do you want to introduce me to your new friend?”
“H-he’s…” the brunette mumbled, stunned by Melissa’s initiative.
“My name’s Robert, nice to meet you.” the man replied with a confused look on his face.
Melissa wasn’t too confident her idea was going to work, but it was surely fun to play a little game of make-believe.
“Likewise, Bob.” the firefighter added, winking at her colleague “Thank you for keeping an eye on my girl, there’s a lot of creepy dudes in places like this.”
“Hell, I think I got the wrong idea.” he said, staggering away from his seat “Enjoy your evening, ladies.”
It took Barbara a moment to figure out what Melissa had in mind, but she was glad her plan had succeeded. After all, it wasn’t half bad to pretend she was her girlfriend.
“How did you even figure out what was going on?” the paramedic asked, finally free to talk about it.
“I’ve been there before.” Melissa replied, sitting next to her “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine, thank you.” Barbara reassured her, smiling “Do you want something to drink?”
“A beer, please.” the other woman said, turning to the bartender “I’m not a fancy gal.”
Once again, Melissa had been there for her colleague when she needed it most, making Barbara truly realize what a blessing to her life she actually was.
“Oh, I know that.” the older woman joked, partially distracted by the music “God, I love this song.”
“Wanna dance?” the younger one proposed, gently taking her by the hand “He’s still watching, let’s give him a show.”
“What?” the brunette chuckled, letting Melissa drag her to the dancefloor “Are you tipsy, Schemmenti?”
“I might have had a couple drinks before coming here.” the redhead playfully answered, pulling her friend closer.
Aware of the feelings she had for the other woman, Barbara’s rational side wanted to walk away from Melissa, leaving that room before their relationship could take a dangerous turn, but her heart was telling her to savor that moment, letting both the good and the bad things come to her on their own terms.
“This is crazy.” Barbara smiled, shaking her head in false disapproval.
“Damn it, Barb.” Melissa whispered, leading their slow movements “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever danced with.”
“Have you danced with many women before?” the paramedic wondered, looking into her eyes. Did she even like women?
The booze gave Melissa the courage she needed, but deep down she knew exactly what she was doing: her latest choices were the answer to a longing she had tried to suppress for weeks, if not months.
“A few, but…” the firefighter began, almost tripping over her own feet.
“Hey, are you okay?” the brunette asked with a worried look.
“I just feel a little light-headed.” the redhead explained, holding on to her.
“All right, it’s time to go home.” Barbara said, softly guiding her outside.
“There you go.” Barbara said, slowly pushing the front door open “Please, head straight to bed.”
“I’m sorry I ruined your night.” Melissa apologized, still dealing with her inebriation.
“Oh, don’t worry about it.” the paramedic smiled “It was fun while it lasted.”
Barbara had never been in her friend’s apartment, and she surely didn’t mean to do it under those circumstances: she needed time to think about what happened, and more time spent together would’ve just made things more complicated.
“Shit, my car.” the firefighter sighed, holding her aching head “We took yours, right?”
“We did, but I can take you back to the bar before our shift. Call me in the morning.” the brunette replied, trying to cut the conversation short “Goodnight, Melissa.”
“Woah, don’t you wanna come in for a minute?” the redhead asked, wondering what the sudden rush was about.
Barbara’s purpose was to get Melissa home safe and sound, and she did, so what was the point of staying? She was starting to feel guilty for letting herself go, and she was eager to finally be alone with her own thoughts.
“I think it's better if I just go.” the older woman explained, holding her breath “You need to rest.”
“We need to talk about it, Barb.” the younger one added, her voice breaking “Something’s clearly bothering you.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Barbara said with false ingenuity.
As Melissa was sobering up, she started to regret her recklessness, blaming herself for possibly ruining the most valuable friendship she had. Barbara’s strange behavior was proof that what she had done was wrong, and she didn’t know how to deal with the consequences of her own actions. “What the hell were you thinking, Schemmenti? You don’t even know if she’s into you.” she thought, panicking.
“Please.” Melissa begged, leaving room for her to walk in.
“Okay.” Barbara gave up, closing the door behind them “Is this about the dance?”
“It’s about everything .” the firefighter explained, taking a seat.
“What?” the paramedic muttered, confused.
“I don’t know. Lately I’ve done all of these things to bring us closer, and I-i…” the redhead started, trying to find the right words.
It was the beginning of a conversation there was no coming back from.
“...You want to know how I feel about it.” the brunette continued, sitting next to her.
“I need to know if I’m making you uncomfortable.” the younger woman clarified.
Barbara felt like laughing: the time she was spending with Melissa was the only source of comfort in her new life.
“Of course you are.” the older one began, avoiding her eyes “You’re doing everything I don’t have the guts to do.”
“Wait, does it mean that you want this ?” the other woman asked in complete disbelief.
“Come on, you already know my answer.” the paramedic replied, softly smiling.
Although they had tried to deceive themselves, they both knew what the other actually felt, but saying it out loud would’ve meant losing any chance to put the pieces back together, to pretend the nature of their relationship was never going to change.
“I don’t understand.” the firefighter said, her heart beating like crazy “Why don’t you say it?”
“You’re a dear friend, Melissa. I can’t be honest with you right now.” Barbara concluded, leaving the apartment before the redhead could see her cry “It’s best if we just forget about tonight.”