Late night phone calls and hospital visits
"Tony, I swear to god if you're drunk right now, I willmurder you. Do you have any idea what time it is? I know you have -"
It was 1:30 in the morning. Of course he knew what time it was. He'd been awake with Tommy all night.
"It's Tommy. There's something wrong with him. He can't breathe right - he turned blue -" As smart as he was, he had no idea that was an actual thing that happened. If it weren't for JARVIS, Tommy may not have made it to the hospital in time. The reminder sent a shudder through his entire body. It was his faithful AI that called the ambulance while Tony did everything he could to try and help his son stop coughing and wheezing and just breathe. But then his son's lips started turning blue, and his contractions in his chest were getting worse and panic set in. He felt like a fish out of water - ironically, because Tommy looked like a fish out water, as if breathing wasn't something that came naturally anymore. Like it wasn't something that just happened the second he was born.
He heard a gasp on the other side of the phone.
"Where is he now?" Her voice was calmer now, more calculated.
"They took him for an X-Ray. Mia's out of town, but she's trying to make it back as soon as she can. I'm sorry Potts. I shouldn't have called. He's -"
"Tony - It's okay." There was a pause, and Tony suspected there was something else she was going to say but thought better of it. "Do you need someone there with you? What hospital are you at?"
"This isn't exactly what I pay you for, Pepper. I'm fine. He'll be fine. It'll be fine. They've given him oxygen and working on figuring out what happened now, he'll be back here in the room soon -"
"Tony, where. Are. You?"
"UCLA Medical Center."
"I'll be there in about 20 minutes. I'm sure traffic won't be too bad at this hour." Then Tony heard a click, and Pepper was no longer on the line.
Tony slid his phone back into his pocket and dragged his hands down his face. His heart was still beating a mile a minute, and it was a feat that he managed to keep his own breathing under control.
Never had Tony ever felt so helpless and out of control than he did that night with Tommy. There had been a sense helplessness and cluelessness since the moment he was born. But this - this was on another level. It was debilitating. It had started with a runny nose and just... escalated so fast.
Even when Tony would drink himself silly, he always felt like he had a semblance of control over his own life. If he lost all of his inhibitions and needed Rhodey or Happy to guide him to a bed to sleep, or to the bathroom - it was admittedly embarrassing sometimes but it was his choice to drink until he forgot everything.
But he didn’t drink near as much as he used to - and never when Thomas was with him. It was rule number one of the agreements they’d come to when he fought to have shared custody for his son. If he drank, and lost control while Tommy was under his care- he would lose him. Point blank.
He hadn’t had a drop of alcohol in over a month - but god did he want a drink. The thought had crossed his mind at least a hundred times since he arrived at the hospital. But he refused to give in to that particular itch. It wasn't worth it. It wasn't. Tommy needed him.
But what good did being sober do for him tonight? He still felt like he lost more control than ever before and nearly lost his son in the most literal sense possible.
With the way he was brought up, why did he ever think he could actually do this? He couldn’t even handle a common cold without almost killing him. But hadn’t he done every single thing JARVIS had suggested? Everyone who thought he was crazy for trying to raise a baby was right. He was out of his damn mind.
He had Tommy back in his arms by the time Pepper arrived. Tony was sitting in the hospital bed, with Tommy curled up, sleeping in his arms, with an oxygen mask around his head and an IV in his arm, administering fluids.
Tony had his eyes closed too, resting against the back of the bed, his thoughts still warring intently with himself but they snapped open the second he heard her enter.
”You look exhausted.” She commented, moving to sit in the cold chair next to him, though her eyes mostly stayed on the sleeping baby in his arms, watching the way his chest moved - too quickly, even with the added flow of oxygen.
”Oh, thank you. I’ve been trying this new look. Think it suits me,” he retorted, wincing when Tommy whimpered in his arms before settling back down.
”Have they explained what’s going on with him yet?” She asked, her voice more quiet this time as not to disturb the baby.
”The kid has asthma apparently. They had to give him another albuterol treatment when they took him for the x-ray. He doesn’t have pneumonia, which is good. But they want to keep him overnight for monitoring. He’s still sick and apparently babies with asthma end up with pneumonia easily.” At some point, he had begun carding his fingers through his son’s curls as he whispered to Pepper.
“Someone will be here in the morning I guess to go over everything to help treat and prevent any future asthma attacks.”
Pepper nodded with pursed lips. “And how are you doing?”
Tony nearly snorted, but he didn’t want to jostle Tommy too much and resorted in just rolling his eyes instead. “Aside from realizing Obediah was right when he told me parenthood wasn’t for me? That I clearly can’t handle it as much as I swore I could? I’m just peachy, Pep. Thanks for asking. How are you this fine evening?”
She narrowed her eyes at him, and he knew she had something to say. Especially with the way she’d stilled when he brought up what Stane had said to him. But instead, she cleared her throat and grabbed a folder from the bag she’d brought in with her, choosing to change the subject.
”Work, really, Potts?”
”Non Disclosure Agreements for anyone who knows you were here with your son. I know you want to keep him out of the press. Figured this would help, so grabbed a few and edited them a little on the cab drive over.”
“Miss Potts! This is why you get paid the big bucks.”
”Right.” It was her turn to roll her eyes, and then the two of them quietly went over the forms for the next several minutes before Pepper suddenly added. “Tony. All you’ve done since Tommy’s been born is prove that you can handle this. Don’t let Stane warp warp that crazy brain of yours into thinking any different. The fact that you’re worried out of your mind right now for him is proof of that.”
---
"He'll be going back into surgery in a few minutes."
What!?
Tony nearly reached out and punched the wizard in the face after he returned to fill him in. There was still a large part of him (however admittedly unreasonable) that blamed Strange for the predicament Peter was in now. But instead, he kept his fists clenched tightly at his sides, turning his knuckles white. He listened to the explanation as to why they were doing what they were about to do. It didn't escape him that logically it made sense. It was the obvious move. But it didn't stop the way the idea just made his entire body feel like ice. The way it made him want to run in there and shield Peter himself from any further harm.
And he had run back in there - ready to argue. But then he saw May's face, and then Peter - and all the fight left him in a rush. It took the breath right out of him. Being in the same room as the SHIELD agents was too much again and he promptly left the room, shooting another update text to both Rhodey and Pepper. Pepper was back with Morgan, and Rhodey had been helping clean up the mess at the compound. Or - what used to be the compound. He felt like such a coward all of a sudden, and the feeling was incredibly unsettling. He needed to hold himself together - if not for himself - then for Peter.
What would he think if he woke up and found out the first thing Tony did when his friends got there was tell them off and accuse them for things they more than likely had nothing to do with. Tony had five years to think about what happened to his son - but the main people he could have questioned further about it - namely Nick Fury - were gone. So in his mind - he connected SHIELD with the people who took his son - SHIELD agents "adopted" and named him Peter. He also knew that somehow Hydra was involved. But he also had a lot of time to think about how much Hydra had still been apart of SHIELD at the time too and the thought wasn't comforting.
The door to Peter's room opening again tore Tony from his thoughts and he immediately pushed himself off the wall where he'd been leaning.
"It should only be a few hours. Have either of you eaten?" The woman - Dr. Jemma Simmons asked, her tone almost motherly.
"I'm not hungry," he shrugged, eyeing the three of them carefully. May didn't answer, just moved to sit along the other wall. Someone had told Tony earlier there was a better place to wait - with more comfortable chairs and food to eat - but he preferred to stay close. But perhaps the three of them would prefer a more comfortable space to wait.
"So how did you meet Peter again?"
Okay - that was not what he'd meant to say.
"I'm sorry. That's not what I meant. What I meant was - Actually -It's just weird, isn't it? Peter being so close to a couple of SHIELD agents? Did you know his parents?"