Losing light
One second he felt every cell and atom in his body being pulled apart and the next they all suddenly snapped back together like a rubber band and everything felt like it was on fire and he couldn’t help screaming out in agony. His vision was blurry and every single part of him burned in white hot furry and he just couldn’t stop screaming even if it made his throat and lungs hurt worse.
“What the hell is wrong with him?” A voice in the distance came. That was another thing, he could hear every single thing again. The way someone shifted in the dirt or the wind blowing. Each of their heartbeats and breaths. Every single movement someone made. Like when he first got bit by the spider and couldn’t control his senses. Everything dialed up to eleven.
“Kid, you alright?” Another voice said and someone had gripped his shoulders. He flinched away at the unfamiliar touch. His suit reacted intuitively and the spider-legs came out and crawled him away up somewhere far and high.
“Mr. Stark?” He called out hesitantly still unseeing what was around him because when he tried to open his eyes they were assaulted by a bright light.
“He’s not here,” the voice said, the one that tried to grab him. It was a little familiar now. But not the voice he wanted. “It’s been five years. He needs our help.”
Five years? No. That was impossible. Mr. Stark was justhere with him. Peter remembered his body was crumbling the way he saw the others’ do. And he was in so much pain. And Mr. Stark held him and told him he was alright and that it was going to be okay even though they both knew it wasn’t. Mr. Stark wouldn’t leave him. Not like that.
He forced his eyes open. He looked around trying to find his mentor and gathering his surroundings. He was still on the weird orange planet and not much seemed to have changed. But the spaceship they had used was gone and the figures below him were staring up oddly at him or looking around. He saw the ones he watched disappear. The wizard, the other Peter, the alien lady with the antennas, the one Mr. Stark had called Mr. clean. Everyone was there again. But there were two people missing. The blue lady, and Tony Stark. His body still ached and he just wanted to be with Mr. Stark. Where was he? He wouldn’t leave him alone on a planet with strangers. He put his mask on.
“Karen?” He asked.
“Hello Peter,” his A.I. responded. “Re-calibrating systems. Scanning vitals. Your heart rate is too high and you appear to be severely injured and showing signs of both pain and distress. Should I contact Mr. Stark?”
“Yes, yes!” Peter exclaimed. “Call Mr. Stark.”
“I told you, kid, he’s not here—“ the wizard floated up to look him in the eye. But Peter childishly turned away.
“Connection unavailable.” Karen said. “Unable to contact Mr. Stark.”
“What!?” Peter exclaimed. “Karen connect with Friday.”
“Connection unavailable,” Karen said again. “It seems they are too far for me to connect with. I’m sorry, Peter.”
“Spider-Man, I can get you back to Tony Stark,” the Wizard said with an impatient tone. “If you would just listen. I can explain but we don’t have too much time.”
“Where’s Mr. Stark?” Peter asked again while looking around.
“On earth, it's been five years. Thanos got all the stones and snapped his fingers, we disappeared, Stark and the others managed to bring us back. But Thanos is on them again. Come on, they need us.” Dr. Strange said.
And then he floated back down to the others. So much for an explanation. Peter watched skeptically as the orange sparkles appeared in a circle in front of the rest of the group. He squinted and looked through the weird orange portal thing but couldn’t see much. Just dust and smoke and a field that was covered in ash and was that fire? He saw a bunch of little figures and his senses were whirling at a million miles an hour. He just couldn’t focus on one thing at a time.
“Ironman detected at approximately 2000 feet away.” Karen’s voice echoed in his ears. “Reestablishing connection.”
That kicked him in to drive and he threw out a web, swung through the portal, and landed in front of the others. He stood and retracted his mask as he took in the scene before him.
There was Thanos with a large army behind him and Captain America. Captain America— Wait, wasn't he still a war criminal?— standing alone facing off against that large army with a broken shield and looking like he had already lost but wasn’t ready to admit it. He scanned the field some more and he finally caught sight of Tony Stark on his back looking at them in awe and Peter couldn’t help but let out a relieved sigh and smile at the sight of him. Because Mr. Stark hadn’t left him alone on the strange planet. At least not intentionally.
But everything was still confusing because millions of people were coming through more strange orange sparkly thingies and an iron suit just landed in front of him. Is that Pepper Potts?
“Avengers!” Captain America called out. And Peter had the sudden realization as he squatted down in a fighting stance that that also meant him. And suddenly Captain America had Thor’s hammer in his hands. “Assemble!”
What even was his life?
They charged forward and Peter, honestly, still had no idea what was happening but he basically attacked anything that was mean looking and unfamiliar and hoped they weren’t on the same side because if he was honest, besides the people he met in Germany and those close to them, everyone was unfamiliar. But he was smart and he could tell the difference between aliens and humans and alien tech and human tech (for the most part). (Especially if it was Stark Tech which a lot of it was.) He figured the goal was probably still the same— keep the gauntlet and the stones away from the mean, scary, evil, purple alien. But he didn’t have eyes on the gauntlet only on a bunch of aliens attacking him.
All the while he tried to keep an eye out for Tony Stark. He finally saw him getting attacked by like 5 tall aliens at once and one of them almost struck him but Peter shot out a web that caught it by the arm and forced it back and the giant ant guy squished it like a… well like it was an ant.
“Whoa hey, Mr. Stark!” Peter rushed over and helped Mr. Stark up.
“Holy cow!” Peter started rambling on and Tony couldn’t stop staring at him like he wasn’t sure if the kid was real and there. “You will not believe what’s been going on. Do you remember when we were in space? And I got all dusty? Well I must have passed out because I woke up and you were gone.”
Why were you gone? Why did you leave me there? I was in so much pain. But he pushed those thoughts aside and kept talking.
“But Dr. Strange was there, right?” He kept going without even a pause. “And he was like ‘it’s been five years, come on, they need us’. And then he started doing that yellow sparkly thing he does all the time—“
Tony couldn’t believe his eyes or his ears. The kid was in front of him looking like he hadn’t aged a single minute and talking a million miles an hour like he always does when he’s excited or nervous or both. He couldn’t help soaking in every word. And watching the kid because he started imitating Strange and moving his hands in a circle like he was doing the “orange sparkly thing” himself. God, he had missed the kid so much and he loved the kid so much. And he couldn’t stop himself from moving forward.
“Oh yeah he did?” Tony muttered as he pulled the kid in.
“What are you doing?” The kid said.
“Hold me,” Tony muttered and wrapped his arms so tightly around the kid and just refused to let go.
“Oh,” Peter said softly and hugged Tony back and he felt the man squeeze him hard and he couldn’t help squeeze him back. He had missed Mr. Stark in the 5 or so minutes since he’d woken up. Had it really been 5 whole years? He could kind of see that the man did look older. (Not that he would ever say that to his face.) “oh, this is nice.”
His mind couldn’t help but think back to when Mr. Stark dropped him off and opened the door for him in the car after their escapade to Germany.
“This isn’t a hug I’m just getting the door for you,” Tony said. “We aren’t there yet.”
“I’m guessing we’re there now?” Peter said cheekily. It wasn’t like they hadn’t hugged since then but it wasn’t like this.
Mr. Stark just laughed and hugged him tighter. “Oh we’re definitely there, Kid.”
They probably could have stayed like forever if a blast didn’t bring them back to their present. They looked up to see a blue iron suit casually taking down aliens that tried to attack them while they had their moment.
“Pepper!” Tony called as He blasted the last one (for the moment). “You remember my favorite young adult!”
The blue iron suit helmet retracted and Pepper stood and smiled at Peter.
“Hey kid,” Pepper said with a smile and tears in her eyes. “It’s good to have you back.”
“Wait so it’s really been five years!?” Peter exclaimed.
The two adults nodded solemnly at the kid and he couldn’t seem to process what they had said.
“Cap!” Their comms flared to life and Hawkeye's voice rang in their ears. “What do you want me to do with this thing?”
“Get those stones as far away as possible!” Cap said.
“No!” Bruce Banner countered. “We need to get them back to where they came from.”
“No way to get them back,” Tony said. But he knew they needed to because that could wreck reality and erase Morgan or Peter again. “Thanos destroyed our quantum tunnel.”
“Did you just say a quantum tunnel?” Peter unknowingly muttered over the comms not realizing he was connected. Which surprised everyone at the sound of such a young voice.
“Hold on!” Scott called out. “That wasn’t our only time machine.”
“Did he just say time machine!?” Peter exclaimed. And before Tony could respond the sound of a La Cucaracha blared across the battlefield. “What was that?”
Everyone ignored him.
“Has anyone seen an ugly brown van?” Cap yelled.
“Yes but you’re not gonna like where it’s parked.” A woman’s voice rang out.
Tony asked Scott how long it would take him to get started and Cap told everyone to get the stones to him.
“Kid, you got that?” Tony said as he flew off.
“Yeah, Mr. Stark,” Peter replied over the comms and followed him with his webs. “But did they just say time machine?”
“Mr. Stark?” Hawkeye said incredulously. “Ha! Tony you are never living that one down. Wait hold on— was that the kid, your kid!?”
“Aww come on I’m not a kid!” Peter whined. “And Mr. Stark’s not—“
“Yeah that’s him,” Tony cut him off. “But now isn’t the time for introductions.”
“Nuh uh!” Hawkeye said. “I’ve been dying to meet this kid! Hey kid, how are you?”
“Clint!” Cried out multiple voices.
“Alright, alright.” Clint sighed.
Somehow minutes later Peter caught sight of the Black Panther guy with the gauntlet and struggling against that weird alien from Washington Square Park. He threw a web at the gauntlet and snatched it up. Which of course made him the new target and he was fighting off the many aliens attacking him but they kept piling on him and he called out for help over the comms.
Tony cursed Strange for bringing the kid back into this at the sound of the fear and struggle in the kid's voice.
“Hey, Queens!” Cap called. “Heads up.”
Thor’s hammer soared over his head and he caught a web on it and allowed it to carry him across the field until a laser cut him down and he was free falling.
”Hang on! I got you, kid,” Pepper said.
The amount of people Tony could kiss right now for saving the kid. He fought his way through trying to get back to Peter.
Peter was running and dodging aliens, His Instant Kill Mode still activated and he’d have to thank Mr. Stark later for refusing to take it out and deeming it to be necessary eventually when Peter wouldn’t have a choice. (Although he highly doubted Aliens were what Mr. Stark had in mind but given the Avengers track record maybe it was). He’d also have to endure a large serving of “I told you sos” but he was ok with that for the time being because now Lasers were reigning down upon him and he curled himself around the gauntlet in a poor attempt to protect himself.
He couldn’t be more thankful when that bright glowing lady landed in front him and took the gauntlet or when Miss. Potts landed in front of him again and turned to check in with him.
“You alright, kid?” She asked.
He nodded but clutched his side because he felt a pain there, well actually everywhere but it wasn’t like he had time to deal with it.
“Take it easy,” She told him. “If you need a minute, ok?”
She sounded like such a caring mother and it reminded him of May and all he wanted was just to get back to his Aunt. Pepper took off after the others after making sure Peter was ok and he joined her a moment later just wanting to get it all over with.
But of course nothing was easy because the van got destroyed. Peter’s Spider sense that had been going off nonstop since his eyes had first opened on that strange orange planet flared angrily and he had the sudden urge to find Tony Stark again. But he was on the complete other side of the battle field and there were still plenty of aliens between them. But Peter diligently fought them off as best he could. But even with his spider powers he started to feel tired and the pain that he was in when he had woken up hadn’t gone away but adrenaline had allowed him to keep going. He felt like he had been fighting for five years even though he hadn’t actually been fighting for that long. (He wasn’t actually sure how long he had been fighting for). His fatigue also made it difficult for him to drown out all of the excess noises that he could hear: the grunting, shouting, punching, slicing, running, breathing. It didn’t stop and it was starting to become overwhelming.
“I am inevitable!” A low grating voice rang in his ears and above all the others. It sent a chill down Peter’s Spine. He knew what was about to happen. It must be why his senses had screamed at him to get to Tony Stark.
The following SNAP! of metal fingers caused him to freeze and close his eyes in anticipation waiting for the pain that hadn’t quite left yet to start again. He wasn’t by Mr. Stark this time. Hadn’t quite made it that far.
But then nothing happened and he kept waiting. Not daring to open his eyes to watch the others disappear first. Like the last time.
He heard another voice tunneling through all the other sounds. A single phrase that had once caused him to jump out of the couch in front of the TV screen at his aunt and uncle's house in awe and pride towards a man he never thought he’d ever meet, let alone form such a close familial relationship with. But now caused him to fling his eyes open in terror.
“I am Ironman!” Followed by Another SNAP! of metal.
Enemy aliens started crumbling away much like he had and Peter couldn’t help but wince at their fate. He rushed in the direction of his mentor.
Finally he landed in front of Tony Stark. He saw him lying against some piece of rubble and the energy of the stones roaring across his arm.
“Mr. Stark?” He called out. “Mr. Stark, can you hear me?”
He knelt in front of his mentor, the man’s eyes seemed to be unseeing but when Peter placed one of his hands on Mr. Stark’s chest the man brought up a hand to hold Peter’s.
“It’s Peter,” Peter said shakily and breathing heavily. “Hey, We won, Mr. Stark. We won, Mr. Stark.”
He pleaded for the man to answer him. Why wasn’t he answering him?
“We won, Mr. Stark,” he kept pleading. “You did it, sir, you did it.”
He could feel the tears spilling out but he didn’t care. All he cared about was Mr. Stark’s short strangled breathing and the way that he could hear his mentor’s heartbeat was slowing.
“I’m sorry,” Peter cried. “Tony.”
Someone grabbed him and pulled him away from Tony. He felt himself being handed off to someone else who wrapped their arms around him and held him tightly. He supposed it was supposed to be comforting but it wasn’t. Miss. Potts knelt in front of Tony and Peter could hear her ask Friday quietly about Mr. Stark’s status. And he knew it wasn’t good without Friday saying anything becauseMr. Stark’s heartbeat was getting quieter and quieter.
He watched as the light in the arc reactor on Mr. Stark's chest went out and he listened to Miss. Potts' sobbing that matched his cries. He felt the person holding him, Mr. Rhodey, he realized, pull him closer and hold him tighter. He couldn’t watch any more so he turned into Rhodey’s chest and cried some more. Around them the other avengers were kneeling.
But the only thing he could focus on was the sound of Mr. Stark’s heartbeat getting slower and slower.
Peter painstakingly waited and waited For the unsteady beats to eventually stop. He could hear a lot of things but he zeroed in on that one sound. He had to focus as it grew faint and made him strain to listen.
And he waited for it to stop.
Until it eventually… didn’t.
He whirled around and turned to stare at Tony’s body. Miss. Potts still clinging to him.
“Peter?” Rhodey asked behind him, pulling him back in. Peter ignored him.
“Mr. Stark?” He choked out. “T-Tony?”
“Oh Peter,” Rhodey said. “I—“
But Peter didn’t wait for him to say “I’m sorry”, that “it would be ok”, that ”Tony was gone”, that “he was at peace now”, that “he died a hero”.That “Peter would be their legacy”. Because he had heard all of that before. When his parents died. When his uncle died. He wasn’t going to hear it again.
At least not when he could still hear a heartbeat that no one else could.
He threw Rhodey's arm off. It was easy, he was stronger than him after all. He stumbled back to Mr. Stark’s side and listened intently. Holding his breath. There were a lot of heartbeats. So he needed to make sure he focused on the right one. The quietest one.
He resumed his position from earlier and ignored Miss. Potts looking at him sadly.
He brought his ear next to Mr. Stark’s mouth to try and breathe.
“Peter, Sweetheart,” Miss. Potts said. She gently pulled him back and put a hand on his cheek. “I know it’s hard—“
“No!” He shouted and pulled away. Her eyes widened in shock and Rhodey knelt next to her and put an arm around her comfortingly and looked at Peter pityingly. Both of them staring at him with the same kind eyes he had seen several times already. Eyes that said they knew he was young and just didn’t understand death yet. That they knew that he didn’t mean it when he lashed out because he was just grieving.
“I -you don’t- his heart,” Peter pathetically tried to get out, to make them understand. But he couldn’t find the words.
“Hey there, kiddo,” a new voice said softly. He looked over and saw Hawkeye kneeling beside him and gently put a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Take your time.”