Before we learned our truth too late
The room was filled with legos. Finished and unfinished. But it wasn’t a child’s room. There were no other toys. The legos weren’t strewn all over the place in an unorganized mess. More like carefully placed on shelves with a box of pieces sitting nearby the unfinished projects. Star Wars posters were pinned to the wall. Teenage sized clothes thrown out on the messily made bed. A hamper on the corner with Jeans poking out the top like they were thrown in there carelessly. A desk in the corner had papers and textbooks stacked haphazardly to the side of it. In the center of the desk one book was laid wide open and a spiral notebook sat on top of it. The markings on the page looked like some sort of complicated advanced calculus work. It was illegible from his place in the vents. Probably illegible to him if he swung down and tried to look anyways, he was not a math wiz of any sort.
What was this room? He’d never seen it before. The last time he had been here, this room was an empty plain guest room.
In the corner of the night stand he could see a framed photograph. He squinted to try and clearly see its contents. There were two figures. He recognized one instantly, Tony Stark. But the boy who Tony had his arm swung proudly over the shoulders of was a complete stranger to Clint. The bunny’s they gave each other was an obvious sign of the closeness of the two. Together they held some sort of piece of paper, a certificate maybe. He couldn’t really see what it was for.
The boy in the photo was young, no more than 15, maybe 16. He had curly brown hair and bright wide eyes. He looked a lot like the man next to him.
Did Tony have a kid too? And never told them? Clint couldn’t blame him. He had kept his own family a secret from the others for as long as he could. He had wanted to keep them safe. Some good that did.
He solemnly scooted along the vent away from the room. He hadn’t meant to infringe on Tony’s privacy. (Even though the man was MIA.) Clint had made his way to the Avenger’s compound a couple of weeks ago to find out why his family had suddenly disappeared before his very eyes. He had stumbled upon the room when he had taken to coming to the vents to seek some sort of comfort after finding out what had happened. His family was gone, turned to ash like 50% of the population.
He wondered if the owner of the room, Tony’s kid, had been dusted too. Given the seemingly untouched state of the room he could only assume that he was. And all it took was the Snap of some purple alien’s fingers 22 days ago. He wondered if it would have made a difference if he had joined the fight instead of retiring with his family. Probably would have, maybe. He’d never know.
He popped open the vent to the living room of the compound and jumped down. He looked around and noticed what he hadn’t before in his initial grief. Maybe because he was looking for more signs of the kid’s life this time. A yellow jacket that looked like some kind of uniform was on the floor almost under the couch like it had fallen off and was now forgotten. Shoes by the entry way that he knew Tony Stark wouldn’t be caught dead in. He couldn’t see any of the others wearing them either. A picture frame was turned down on a table in the corner. He went over and picked it up. It was the same boy smiling up brightly at him. He looked around the room again and saw what he knew hadn’t been there when he had first arrived at the compound a couple of weeks ago: A box of things on the coffee table included a backpack and some more books and pictures. Had someone already started to pick up and pack away the mysterious kid’s things?
His curiosity got the best of him. He glanced in the box and saw that a packet labeled “MoMa field trip” sat at the top. The date read April 27, 2018. He noticed dried tears on the page. He paled. That was the day—
The contents of the box started to shake. He looked up and noticed that it wasn’t just the box but everything. He all but ran from the room. In the long corridor of the compound, he saw out the window. When did it become dark again? A spaceship and a glowing light that seemed to be carrying the spaceship started descending.
Was it more aliens?
He made his way out the door and saw a tired Pepper Potts already there. He fell in line with Steve, Natasha, Rhodey, and Bruce as they made their way across the open field.
Some steps descended from the spaceship revealing two figures. One Blue alien person followed behind a very slow moving Tony Stark. The man looked worse than Clint felt. His beard had more than stubbled over. He was covered in dirt and ash. His frame was thinner than it should be. Each step he took was shaky.
Steve rushes forward to support Tony. Clint couldn’t hear what Tony said to Steve but he was good at reading lips.
“I lost the kid.”
Did he know? How would he know that his kid was gone if he had been in space.
“Tony, we lost.” Steve responded.
Clint gritted his teeth. Didn’t Cap know that wasn’t the way to respond to a grieving parent? He wanted to sock Captain America in the jaw.
Then he remembered that Spider-Man had supposedly gone to space with him according to Pepper Potts and Bruce. He looked around for the young hero and realized he must have turned to dust too. Clint wasn’t sure how old Spider-Man was but he knew he was on the young side. That was probably the kid he was talking about then. He grimaced. Based on all the social media and news report sightings of the two together in NYC, He knew that Spider-Man and Tony had been close. But if he was talking about Spider-Man that meant that he likely didn’t know yet that the boy in the picture was probably gone too.
Tony was rushed away to the medbay by Pepper and Steve. Clint stayed outside unsure of what to do. Nat came up beside him and gave him a nudge. He knew what she was asking and he knew that she already knew the answer.
The next day found the remaining team surrounding a table in a conference room. Holographic images flashed before their eyes of fallen fellow avengers and allies.
Cap and Nat were giving a debrief. Telling them all what they already knew. Clint just wanted them to shut up. He saw his family on the holograms and wanted to shoot an arrow through it. He watched Tony. The man clearly wasn’t listening and Clint wondered if anyone was. He saw an image of the boy in the pictures flash in front of Tony. Peter Parker. That must have been the kid’s name.
“Where is he now?” Tony asked. He sounded fine but it was clear to Clint that he wasn’t.
Clint winced at first he thought Tony was asking after the kid before he realized he was talking about Thanos. Tony snarked off the weird talking raccoon calling it a build a bear. To the others he looked fine but given what Clint knew, he obviously wasn’t. He was hiding his pain pushing it away like he always does with a joke or a sarcastic comment. Steve asked him if Thanos had said anything to him when they fought in space.
Tony scoffed.
“I saw this coming a few years back. I had a vision. I didn’t wanna believe it.” He remarked. “Thought I was dreaming.”
“Tony, I need you to focus,” Steve said. Clint flinched at that. Tony wasn’t going to respond well to that.
“And I needed you,” Tony said. “As in past tense. That trumps what you need.”
Clint saw the guilt flash across Steve’s face and Clint felt it too. He hadn’t been there. Hadn’t even joined the fight. Tony kept going off on Steve. About the fight with Thanos, about the accords. About everything that happened. It impressed Clint that Steve remained somewhat calm, perhaps he felt that he deserved it.
“We’re the avengers, right? Not the prevengers?” Tony continued to rant while Rhodey tried to hold him back. “Bunch of tired old mules. I’ve got nothing for you, Cap. No coordinates, no clues, no strategies, no options. Zero. Zip. Nada. No trust. Liar.”
He ripped out the arc reactor on his chest and slammed it into Steve’s hand.
“I’m trying to fix this.” Steve whispered quietly.
“Oh it’s far too late for that.” Tony said. “They won’t come back, they can’t! He took them! He took him!”
“We all lost someone, Tony.” Steve said. “Look I’m sorry, I know you and Spider-Man—“
“YOU DON’T GET TO TALK ABOUT MY KID!” Tony shouted.
He fell to the ground with a thud. Everyone stared at the man in shock. Except Clint, Rhodey, and that new girl, Carol Danvers. The three of them rushed to Tony’s side. But he was already unconscious again. Perhaps Clint would have been frozen too if he hadn’t known ahead of time about the Kid. Except he hadn’t put together that the kid whose things around the compound and Spider-Man were the same person. Not until just now.
Rhodey obviously knew about the boy seeing as he didn’t react to the mention of the kid, only Tony’s reaction. And Carol probably didn’t know Stark enough for it to be a shock. Carol and Rhodey took him to the Med-bay while Clint just stayed on his knees, his head bowed. Tears threatened to fall. He was a grown man, a spy, an assassin. But damn did he understand because he was also a father.
“His kid?” Steve whispered in horror.
“That’s impossible.” Natasha muttered in disbelief. If it was for anything else, Clint would have laughed that someone had managed to get that reaction out of her. “I looked up everything about him. He had no kids.”
“Maybe he didn’t know before,” Clint choked out. “Just look around. Kid’s everywhere.”
They did and they saw what Clint did. Shoes a couple of sizes too small. Pictures turned down. Jackets for a teenage boy laying over the top of chairs. Lego pieces on a shelf or a table.
“Did you know?” Nat asked, noticing that her friend didn’t seem as surprised as the others.
He shook his head.
“Found his room climbing through the vents in one of the old guest rooms.” He whispered. “Didn’t know he was Spider-Man though.”
“How old is he?” Steve said.
“I don’t think you get to judge a kid for being a superhero, Mr. I’m gonna enlist in the army underage.” Clint rebuked.
“That’s not—“ he said but shook his head instead. “Who is he?”
“Peter Parker,” Natasha said. She was looking at an overturned photo and held it up. “His face came up on the monitors, thought it was a mistake at first since I didn’t recognize him as one of our ally’s.”
“FRIDAY, who is Peter Parker?” Steve called out.
“Classified,” the AI responded. “Authorization required. Initiating Gossip Girl Protocol. Remain where you are.”
“Initiating what?” Steve said. They all looked up at the ceiling and around the room, even Thor, the raccoon, and the blue alien who had come back with Tony who hadn’t said anything or participated in any of the conversations, but nothing about the room changed.
Rhodey and Carol came back but to their surprise, they were a step behind Pepper and Happy Hogan.
“How is he?” Steve asked.
“Bruce gave him a sedative,” Rhodey answered. “He’ll probably be out for the rest of the day.”
“Did he kick you all out to do that?” Nat asked Pepper.
“No actually,” she said. “Friday told us you asked about the kid.”
“So that’s Gossip Girl Protocol?” Steve said, eyes widening.
“Normally she would just notify Tony and I,” Happy said. “Kid is- was, very protective of his identity and Tony even more protective of the kid.”
“She notified me since she obviously can’t notify Tony.” Pepper added. Her eye caught sight of the box that Clint had seen the other day and had been moved to a table in the corner. She went over and picked up a blue sweater with a school logo on it and held it up.
“You picked up his things already?” Pepper turned to Happy.
“Yeah, well,” Happy shrugged. He struggled to keep the emotion out of his voice. “School called. They couldn’t get in contact with his aunt. Just the things from his locker and the bus.”
“Thank you,” Pepper said softly. “Tony will appreciate it.”
“Who is—“ Nat started to ask but trailed off.
“Friday said you already know he is Spider-Man?” Pepper asked and they nodded. “Look there’s really not much else for me to say if you want to know more about him you’ll have to ask Tony. But to be honest. I wouldn’t, not now.”
“Was he his?” Steve asked.
“As good as,” Pepper replied.
Clint should have listened. He really probably should have. But when the others came back weeks later saying that they killed Thanos after finding out he destroyed all the stones. Clint was ready to kill someone himself. He just wanted his family back. His kids back. And none of the others understood. They didn’t know how it felt to lose a child. So he threw open the doors to Tony’s private quarters and stormed over to where Tony was sitting on the couch still recovering from his physical injuries but looking better than before.
“You heard the news?” Tony asked quietly. There was a bottle of alcohol unopened in front of him. He looked ready to pop it open.
“I just want them back,” Clint said. He collapsed in front of the table not even. Making it to the couch.
“Me too,” Tony said.
They sat in tense and loud silence. Clint wasn’t sure why he came to Tony of all people. The man didn’t do emotions with anyone. Tony picked up the bottle and instead of opening it and drinking he picked it up and threw it angrily. It shattered.
“The kid deserved better than me. I never drank after he came around,” Tony remarked.
“From what I’ve seen,” Clint said. “You were doing great.”
“I’m not like you,” Tony said bitterly. “If you’re trying to find some sort of comfort or whatever this is in solidarity. I’m not a dad.”
“I didn’t see much, I found his room before you came back. Saw a few photos. Maybe biologically he wasn’t yours. But it’s obvious he was your kid.” Clint responded.
“Doesn’t matter anymore, I guess.” Tony scoffed.
“I was teaching Lila to shoot a bow an Arrow. Laura was preparing lunch on the barbecue. Boys were playing baseball.” Clint choked out. “I turned away for a second and they were all gone.”
“We were up there. He wasn’t supposed to be there, I tried to bench him. But the kid never listens. He gave it his all. He did good. He- he fell into my arms. Begged me to save him.” Tony said. Mr Stark, I don’t feel so good. “I think he tried to fight it, it took him longer than the others. He apologized for it.”
They looked at each other and finally they both cried. Both had been seeking comfort in the other but realizing that they didn’t have any to give.