Sam curls himself into to Bucky, his head on Buckys chest and Bucky's arm around his waist. He didn't know if Bucky was still asleep or not but he was just laying there starting at the ceiling. He was bored.
When Sam got bored his mind started to wonder. what if he never met Steve? he wouldn't be here right now, he wouldn't be in the arms of the love of his life.
He wished he could thank Steve. Maybe he'd go visit Steve, he hasn't really visited the spot. It wasn't healthy for him to be there, it made him miss Steve more then he would like too.
Maybe he'd ask Bucky to come, but this is something he should do alone. He was thanking a dead man for saving and changing his life. He wasn't sure he could move further in life after Rylie but Steve came in his life asking for help and he was fine again, after so long.
He continued to be fine, after Steve came and back old and died a week later. It was rough at first Bucky wasn't answering him, yea he and Bucky weren't close then and definitely not together but he needed to talk. Bucky slowly came around, they fixed they're broken pieces together.
Bucky's the one who got him to become captain, convinced him to work with Fury and Carol sometimes, to train the young avengers. Bucky was always looking out for and he did the same in return. Steve Rodgers is the reason for all of this, he deserves a thank you.
Bucky was awake so he caught Sam's shift in breathing. He wraps his arm tighter around Sam, "You okay, love?" Bucky asks looking at Sam who looks peaceful.
Love? Bucky hasn't use that one on Sam in awhile.
"Yea, I am." Sam says before taking a moment to reconsider what he's about to say. "I'm gonna go see Steve." Sam says.
"C'mere" Bucky says sitting up and leaning against so Sam's upper half falls on the bed.
The cold sheets against Sam's torso makes him shiver. He sits up before scooting to sit next to Bucky. He takes the hand Bucky's offering, interlocking they're fingers.
"You sure your ready for that?" Bucky asks softly looking at his boyfriend.
"Yea I am, at least I hope so." Sam sighs giving Bucky a smile to reassure him.
"Do you want me to come with you? Take you?" Bucky asks.
"I think I need to do this on my own, but it'd be nice if you'd take me." Sam says.
Bucky leans his head against Sam giving it a kiss. He mumbles a "your so strong" Sam's head.
..,
They stopped and got yellow daisy's, they were Steve's favorite. Well Sam hoped it was, he saw him starring at them while they were on the run.
Steve didn't want a flashy grave so Bucky and Sam decided to bury him about 50 feet away from a small pond, in a forest. There was a bench next to his grave it's so people could sit next to him and pay there respects, but not many people knew where his grave was or even if he was dead.
Sam places the flowers against the gravestone, squatting down. He traces his fingers against the picture of Steve's face, he stands back up dusting his pants off. He makes his way to the bench next to the stone, he sits down letting out a sigh.
He didn't know how to start, he didn't know what to say. How do you address a dead person. His chest felt heavy and tight maybe this was a bad idea.
He was here so be to start somewhere, so he started where it all started. "On your left." Sam says pain laced in his voice.
Hr could see it Steve running past him. He was amazed he didn't fully understand Captain America's strength. He didn't know how fast he was, how strong he was. How much of a amazing friend he is.
"It's been awhile, I usually don't come here. Just with Bucky but it's just me. This felt like a private conversation.
What is he doing? He's talking to someone that's not even here anymore, what has the world come to? Sam let's out a laugh.
"Man Sharon would eat me alive for this." He jokes. Which is true when him nat and Sharon were on the run she was making jokes and bullying them.
"It was great on the run with you guys, well maybe not so great, but I enjoyed the little moments the jokes. Not the ratty beds getting kicked in the face by you cramming four people in a bed at once. All while Bucky was living it up in Wakanda " Sam laughs.
After that Sam sat there quietly. Just starring at the grave. He missed Steve, his best friend, his brother all in one. God why did he have to leave? He wasn't mad at Steve for leaving, he would have left a thousand times for Bucky.
"I miss you man, you really flipped my life upside down." Sam let's out a shaky breath before Continuing.
"I was drowning without Rylie, i retired because maybe I'd feel better get a chance to live. Be happy, feel something , anything." Sam says he could feel tears bubbling at his eyes.
Why is he crying. He didn't know if they were happy tears or sad tears. Was he sad about the past or happy it happened? Maybe both.
"Then you came along with your super serum talking about 'on your left'. If you were in the sky or human you know damn well I would have beat you." Sam smiled widely.
"You saved me, you were the life vest in my ocean." Sam says, before laughing at the metaphor.
He laugh so hard tears were forming. His body shook, it was a needed laugh. One last laugh with Steve, he knew Steve was there. Laughing with him.
"But for real man, thank you... For giving me Bucky." Sam says before chucking.
"No I'm just kidding thank you for everything. For making me the Sam Wilson I am now" Sam says softly, standing up.
“Goodbye Steve Rodgers, and thank you again.”
As he walked away tears started spill out of his eyes, but he wasn't sad. He just fucking missed Steve, Steve was Steve. He could miss Steve.
As he walked further out the Forrest nearing the exit, the more it felt fine. It didn't 't hurt as much it felt comforting. Steve got to live, everyone deserves to live.
As he walked out the Forrest he let out a laugh. That was the final page Steve was in, in his book wasn’t it? It was time to move on, he would never have another best friend not after Steve and Riley the bars to high but he’ll have a Bucky and that’s all that matters.