Matt has always been self-conscious of his body and closed, Foggy has always been an affectionate, open person. When their relationship that blossomed in the winter follows strongly into the warmer months and Matt is still wearing long sleeves and pajama pants to bed, Foggy starts to worry. He tries to give Matt the benefit of the doubt at the start of the relationship- Winter in a New York apartment is its own special kind of hell, they weren’t too far into their relationship and maybe Matt wants to take things slow, maybe it had something to do with Matts sensory issues- but now it was the beginning of a harsh New York summer and Matt was still dressing for bed as if a blizzard had just come through and Foggy knew something was up.
Foggy and Matt are getting ready for bed in the small bathroom of the studio apartment they bought together about a month ago when Foggy decides to attempt to bring up what he had been worried about for quite some months now.
“Hey, Matty?” Foggy asks as he steps out of the bathroom for a moment to prop open another window before popping back into the crowded bathroom.
“Mmm?” Matt replies around his toothbrush before spitting into the sink and starting to brush again.
“Won’t you be hot in the long sleeves? Wanna borrow one of my short-sleeves to sleep in?” Foggy asks hesitantly. He didn’t want to ambush Matt about this, but he was genuinely concerned. He was worried Matt would have a heat stroke or something if he kept sleeping in such warm clothes throughout the summer in their apartment. Apparently fixing air conditioning was not cheap.
Matt pauses briefly before responding with another mumble “Uhuh m’fin” (No, I’m fine)
“You sure? It’s pretty hot tonight and if you get cold you can just steal the blanket. It's easier than having to get up and change into something lighter in the middle of the night.”
“Msure.” (I’m sure) Matt says then he continues to mumble incoherently around his toothbrush.
“What? Didn’t catch that, love” Foggy says as he rests on the edge of the cluttered counter they shared.
Matt spits into the sink and then repeats himself. “I said I’m sure. It’s not too hot for me. I’ll be okay, Fogs.” He says . Matt gives him one of those beautiful Murdock smiles that Foggy is sure could never be replicated.
“Well… okay. But you know I just worry, right?” Foggy says. He doesn’t want to give up. He’s been so concerned the past few months that he honestly can’t give up.
“I know Fogs,” Matt says before he plants a kiss on Foggy’s forehead. “Let’s go lay down now, okay?” He asks and tugs Foggy’s hand lightly.
Foggy's heart feels both a burst of butterflies from the affection and a pang of worry because of how avoidant Matt is being. He follows Matt out of the bathroom and across the small apartment to their king-sized bed with silk sheets and plenty of pillows - although Matt always ends up using Foggy as a pillow halfway through the night so Foggy tends to doubt the real need for all those pillows- and sits down. He hesitates before speaking again. “Matt, love? Can I ask you something?”
Matt sits down beside Foggy and tilts his head in the direction of his boyfriend. He can hear Foggy's breath hitch in hesitance and his own heart beginning to race. “Yeah- Yeah? What’s up? Gonna ask me to marry you?” He asks, attempting a joke to ignore the panic that he feels setting in. At least it gets a laugh out of Foggy.
“No- not now at least,” Foggy says and smiles shyly. “I was just wondering…is something going on? Is there something I’m doing wrong or just not doing? I just…want you to know you can be as open as you want around me Matty, you know that, right?”
Matt's heart practically skips a beat because no, of course Foggy’s not doing anything wrong. Foggy is perfect. It’s just himself that needs some work. “No, of course not. You’re amazing, Foggy. Of course, I know that…you’re who I feel safest with Foggy. I promise” He says and holds out his hands for Foggy to take and smiles when he feels Foggy's warm hands intertwine with his own. He gives them a small squeeze.
“So then…can I ask- do you just not feel comfortable showing your skin around me?” Foggy asks quietly and Matt’s heart drops. “I mean- I totally get it if that has something to do with your asexuality or your sensory issues but- I just get worried, you know? It’s really hot these days and I don’t want you to feel like you have to sweat it out all night because of me. I can totally sleep on the couch on hot nights if you want or-”
“Fogs- Foggy. Oh no, no it’s not… no. Um, it’s just that I…” Matt pauses and tries to catch the breath he didn’t realize he lost. Why was this so hard? Foggy was the most supportive person he knew. He would understand.
“It’s okay. Breathe.” Foggy whispers and squeezes Matt's hands.
“I just…” Matt tilts his head down, his cheeks burning in embarrassment. “I don’t- I don’t want to scare you…with my um” He clears his throat as a form of stalling. “You know my- past injuries that don’t…necessarily disappear…”
“Your…scars?” Foggy asks in a gentle tone. All the anxiety that was in him previously has been quickly replaced with pure compassion. How could he have not realized that Matt was worried about that? He’d only seen Matt’s scar-filled skin once before and that was on a day that neither of them had fond memories of. Foggy tried to block that day out.
“Yeah. Those. They’re just… they’re not pretty, Foggy,” Matt chokes out. Why was he getting so emotional? He feels his unresponsive eyes water a bit. “And I know that part of me scares you and just… I know how I look for the most part. I can feel my scars and my face and everything but that only does so much. I-I don’t know how they really look besides the length and shape. Some of them still get inflamed on bad days and it's just…It’s not- not pretty.” Matt rambles out. He worries that he has scared Foggy away when it’s silent for a moment and Foggy's hands leave his own, but then he feels his lover's arms wrap around him and he sinks into the touch.
“Oh, Matty. You know I don’t care about that. Or at least I thought you knew. You’re so beautiful to me, love. You’ve got no idea,” Foggy whispers into his lover's ear. “And, hey. I’m not scared of you, I promise. If I was scared of you I wouldn’t be brave enough to steal your food all the time,” he jokes and lifts one hand, places it in Matt's soft brown hair and cards it through gently.
“Do you promise? You don’t have to lie.” Matt whispers. He realized he hadn’t even been looking for lies hidden in Foggy’s heartbeat. He trusts him so much. “If it’s…uncomfortable to see that I understand. Really, Foggy.”
“I promise. You are beautiful to me no matter how you look. Cross my heart,” Matt smiles that Murdock smile again. There is no lie in his soulmate's heartbeat. “ And hey- you’re pretty goddamn good looking if I do say so myself”
“B-blasphemy” Matt mumbles and chuckles, pressing his face further into Foggy's collar bone. He stays there for a moment before lifting his head to face Foggy again. “But… okay. I trust you. Can we maybe just start with my…upper half though? It is kind of hot I guess” Matt confesses and his cheeks burn yet again.
“Of course love. We’ll take it as slow as you want.” Foggy says and pulls Matt close.
They sit in silence for a few minutes before an idea hits Foggy. Something to hopefully help them both warm up to this new kind of vulnerability. Foggy with the touch and Matt with the feeling of having his bare chest exposed. “Hey. What do you think about staying here for a bit and just… you know relaxing into your own skin while I run downstairs to the drug store? I have an idea” Foggy whispers into Matt's ear. This causes Matt to lift his head drowsily. He must’ve been falling asleep.
“Mm…nooo, don’t leave me Fogs.” Matt mumbles and pouts.
“It will take me ten minutes tops. I’ll even get you some of those special chips you like while I’m gone if you want” Foggy bribes and smiles warmly at the tired devil of Hell’s Kitchen in his arms. He’s not so devil-like after an emotional conversation and some cuddles from his love.
This piques Matt's interest “the special ketchup ones…?” he inquires, a smile tugging at his lips.
“Precisely. Now, let me go?” Foggy asks and slowly begins to pull away from Matt's embrace.
“Fiiiine. But come back quick. Who knows how long I can stay awake for when my bare skin touches these silk sheets.”
This makes Foggy laugh. “Okay. Now get out of that shirt before you sweat to death,” he says as he stands up and slips on some shoes.
“Yeah yeah. Whatever you say. See you soon,” Matt hums. Once Foggy leaves the apartment he carefully lifts his shirt over his head, careful not to ruin the stitching of Claires on his abdomen. It hits him that Foggy would see this when he got back and he feels his heart sink a bit. The feeling of vulnerability from earlier floods back to him. It doesn’t panic him as much anymore, though. He trusts Foggy and his words. Matt lays back against the cool silk sheets and relaxes at the feeling.
Fifteen minutes later, Foggy arrives back at their comfortable apartment with chips for Matt as well as some scar healing cream for the two of them to figure out together. He shuts the door behind him as quietly as he can when he sees Matt asleep on the bed, but Matt still stirs and sits up on the bed, smiling drowsily at Foggy.
“Hey, Matty. I’m sorry I tried to be quiet,”
“S’ok…” Matt yawns and stretches. “You get my chips?” He asks, fumbling with his hands as he remembers his bare chest is now out in the open for Foggy to see.
“Yup, right here,” Foggy says with a warm smile. He keeps his eyes trained on Matt’s face, only letting them fall down for a moment. Matt was right, there was a lot of inflammation and reddening on the scars and what he could only guess was botched stitching scars from when Matt had lost contact with Claire for a while.
“Awesome.” Matt hums. He tilts his head, sensing something new in the bag from the store. “You got something else, what is it?” he asks with a nervous curiosity.
“It’s um… scar healing cream. I thought maybe I could put it on for you? You know to help with the healing process” Foggy says shyly. He worries he crossed some sort of boundary, but he genuinely just wants to help Matt be more comfortable in his body.
Matt comprehends it for a moment before a bright smile grows across his lips. “Yeah. That sounds nice, really nice, actually.”
“Awesome. Okay.” Foggy says before fumbling with the package and taking the cream out. “So you just…sit in front of me on the bed and I’ll um… do my thing” Foggy rambles out awkwardly as he crosses the apartment.
“Okay. Sounds good” Matt says as he scoots back on the bed so Foggy could sit as well. Matt was already gaining confidence in his appearance because of the way Foggy hadn’t treated him any differently even with all his scars shown off under the dim lighting.
Foggy sits down across from Matt and opens the cream before slowly reaching out and rubbing the first bit of it on an older scar of Matt’s. At first, Matt’s body tenses to it, not being used to skin-to-skin contact there, but then he slowly melts into it. This methodical and gentle process of Foggy’s, rubbing and massaging the cream into Matt’s scarred skin, continues for a while. Only the soft noises of contentment from Matt fill the room. When Foggy gets to the twin scars that were old and healed just above Matt’s rib cage, nostalgia plants a smile on his face. He figures these were probably the only scars Matt was proud of, so he makes a point to mention them.
“I remember the day you got these, in college,” Foggy whispers and traces the crescent shaped scars with a gentle touch. “I was so proud of you. I still am. You’re an incredible force of nature, Matthew Murdock.” He says and looks up at Matt, who has a tired but proud smile on his face.
As the night carries on, Matt quietly begins revealing the stories of the scars on his body. He takes Foggy’s hand to the spots he carefully picks then tells the story. Who he fought, who he saved. What went wrong, what went right. As he carries on, the two came across the stitching done by Claire most recently. Matt felt his cheeks burn and his body tenses like earlier. He pulls Foggy's hand away from the spot out of shame, but Foggy shakes his head.
“No, this is who you are. And I love every part of you. Tell me the story,” Foggy urges, his heart filled with only love for the man in front of him.
Matt's tired smile and comfortability returns. “Okay, well it happened about three days ago when…