It was dark and the air was cool, sending chills up Fitz's back. His thin cardigan failing to protect his warmth. Fitz stood opposite the vending machine, a few feet away from the room he and the other agents were all unfortunately sharing. Well, he didn't mind sharing it with one person. He stared at the array of chips and chocolate balancing on the springs that kept them in place. He stood like that for a while, playing with the change in his hand. Rubbing together the metals. Eventually he surrendered the coins to the machine and chose a packet of salt and vinegar chips and a snickers bar.
He returned back to the room with the treats. Skye was sitting on one of the two beds, her back resting up against the headboard with her legs out in front of her, her laptop resting on her lap. Jemma sat upright, one leg bent on the bed and the other dangling to the floor. For some reason Fitz noted the fact she took her shoes off and she was wearing pink pastel socks. "Skye." He spoke, tossing her the bag of chips which she proceeded to catch with one hand. "Thanks." She said, as she tore open the packet but kept her eyes glued to the screen. Fitz instinctively approached the bed with Jemma on it and sat down beside her, careful not to disturb the paperwork she had laid out on the foot of the bed. He gestured to the snickers bar in his hand and she smiled and shook her head politely, scrunching her nose.
This kind of silent communication was common for them but tonight he was a little more aware of how special it was. He also thought about that nose scrunch and the urge to kiss it. He didn't really know what to do, he knew what he should do. Help find Ward and do what he can to stop him. But despite all the evidence, a small part of him still wanted to believe Ward was somehow innocent. He had thought of many scenarios in the last couple of days. First it was the simple fact of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Next he must have been framed. Someone Ward had known in his past must have been plotting against him, to dishonour him as a S.H.E.I.L.D. Agent. Even the idea of an evil twin was better than the gut wrenching truth. That Ward was Hydra and he'd been lying to every single one of them the whole time. The whole idea that they were a family came crashing down into a million pieces.
The act of betrayal and abandonment was not unfamiliar to Lepold Fitz. In fact it was something he knew all too well. He had made a promise, a long time ago, that he would never make that same mistake of trusting someone so completely that you stop looking for reasons to doubt them. 'I should've known better' is what he kept telling himself. How could this have happened to him twice? How could he have let it?
Jemma looked up from her studies and saw the look on Fitz's face. A look she hated to see. So full of sorrow and despair. Before she could decide what to do, her thoughts were disturbed by Skye finishing off the chips in the packet by gracefully using it as a funnel to get every last crumb. "I'm gonna go hunt down some real food." She announced. Scrunching up the packet in one hand and closing the lid of her laptop with the other. Jemma saw a familiar look of grief on Skye's face. "Coulson doesn't want us to leave the motel." Jemma reminded her. She wanted to say more to her but the thought of leaving Fitz alone right now ached in her heart. "I know, MOM." She said jokingly. Trying to lighten the situation in any way she could. Skye retrieved her jacket from the hook by the door and ventured out into the cold. Jemma trusted that she would stay close.
Fitz was still staring at the rough carpet. The snickers bar is getting warmer in his hands. "Fitzs…" She started to speak but as she opened her mouth she didn't know what she could say to make it better. She abandoned the paperwork in her hands and shuffled closer to him. "I never even sa' it comin'." He told her, eyes still fixed on the floor. "And why would you? No one ever expected this." Her tone was soft and reassuring. He threw the candy bar beside him, not liking the feel of the slightly melted chocolate inside the wrapper. "I'm sorry." is all Jemma could come up with at this moment. Sorry to see him hurt, sorry she too, hadn't seen this coming. Jemma moved her leg from under her seat and mirrored the position Fitz was sitting in, her thigh up close to this. Fitz picked up his head from the low hanging position it was in and turned to face Jemma. Her eyes were glazed with tears, he could see the attempt in her facial expression to keep them from falling. She gave him that half hearted smile. The one that said 'I don't know how or when, but it will be alright.' "You still have me." She said.
The tears she'd been fighting back had finally prevailed and we're making their way down her soft, pale cheeks. Fitz tilted his head in response, aching inside to see his beautiful best friend so hurt. They were both looking in each other's eyes, each second that passed seemed to last a lifetime. Jemma finally broke eye contact to wipe up tears with the back of her hand. She looked for a spot on Fitz's shoulder and laid her head there. Fitz welcomed this gesture by lightly pressing his head onto hers. The feel of her hair on his neck wasn't enough so he took her hand in his. Slowly interlocking their fingers. Whatever line they seemed to have drawn over the past few years seemed to blur and the awkwardness and panic that used to wash over them whenever they would accidentally touch hands or get too close to each other's faces was discarded and only a feeling of complete and harmonious comfort remained.
Jemma lightly stroked her thumb along his, wishing she could stay locked into this moment forever. While she sat hand in hand with her best friend, she began to recall the first few months of their friendship in the academy. How he would always blush and struggle to speak in clear sentences whenever she was around and the preparations she would make before she knew she was going to see him. She had figured out pretty quickly that he liked the colour pink on her. And suddenly the memory of that fact came rushing back to her.
SciOps, four years ago.
Fitz sat nervously in his desk chair, fiddling with a piece of tech he had found in the scraps of his engineering class. He thought he could make something useful out of it and to pass the time as he waited for Jemma to arrive. His leg was shaking vigorously, so much so that it spilled the water in the glass on his messy desk. He responded with a high pitched "Oi!" as the water attacked his blue jeans, leaving an unfortunately placed dark patch on his lower body. He stood up quickly, chucking the scrap metal and wires on the desk and wiped the residual water on his jeans, onto the floor.
Before he could make himself look more presentable, Jemma opened his bedroom door and let herself in, the same way she had been doing every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for their joint study sessions. But these days weren't the only time they'd see each other. Unsurprisingly, the two of them rarely had plans for the weekend and would often find themselves watching Doctor Who in Fitz's room (the one with the best TV, of course) or in the lab working on something. Jemma smiled as she entered the room. Fitz looked up, cheeks flushed a bright rose colour. Jemma held onto the straps of her backpack and looked curiously at what he was doing. He looked down at his soaked jeans and then at the empty glass on the carpet. "I-uh-I spilt the water on ma jeans." He explained innocently, in his ever so Scottish charm. Jemma furrowed her brow and gave him a slight chuckle. "I can see that." Jemma's eyes suddenly widened. "I didn't mean like-I didn't s-see anything-I" her cheeks had matched the rosy colour of Fitz and she lowered her gaze to the carpet.
There was mutual silence before Jemma decided to remove the heavy backpack from her shoulders and place it onto the bed. "Right well I'll jus' go change out of these wet clothes shall I." Fitz used his thumb to point to the bathroom, grabbing a pair of jeans from his dresser along the way. "Yea-yeah okay. I'll get started." Jemma announced without looking at him. She opened the backpack and a sea of books came spilling out. She organised them into piles of topics and pulled out a pink pencil case. Fitz quickly removed his wet jeans and kicked them off his ankles. Trying not to make Jemma wait any longer and to try and put this embarrassing episode out of focus. He pulled on the dry pair of jeans which were identical to the last. Before leaving he made sure to adjust the collar of his blue shirt so that it laid nicely underneath his black sweatshirt. When he opened the door he saw Jemma already at work, sitting on the foot of the bed with an array of books in front of her.
Now that he wasn't panicking over the way he looked he finally had time to look at her. She looked the same as she ever did, soft and beautiful. Her hair sat in waves along her shoulders and she was wearing a light pink shirt. Jemma turned to look at Fitz. His hair was slightly disheveled, probably from all the panicking. "I brought us some supplies." she suddenly spoke. Jemma proceeded to dig through the bottom of her blue backpack and pulled out a large bag of Twiglets. Fitz suddenly stepped forward with all the enthusiasm of a kid on Christmas. "Twiglets!" He exclaimed. Jemma handed him the bag. She smiled at him, overjoyed with the fact he found a bag of crisps so exciting. Before he could ask the question of 'Where did you get these in America?' Jemma explained; "My Mum sends me a care package every month and I mentioned how my friend really missed his british junk food so she sent over a few things." Fitz blushed at the thought of Jemma talking to her parents about him. "This is amazing, Jem. Thank you! And thank your Mum for me."
Fitz ripped open the bag and took a gracious handful. "How could I ever repay you?" He joked. She smiled at his remark. "Well you could start by lending me your notes from Professor Baxter's class. I haven't the faintest of what he's going on about half the time." this wasn't entirely true and she hoped Fitz wouldn't know that. Of course her speciality remains in Biochemistry but Jemma picked up on things very quickly. She did need his help though, she just liked it when he talks about the things he's passionate about. "Of course." Fitz placed the open packet on the desk and retrieved his backpack from the corner of his room. He pulled out a green notebook, filled to the brim with equations and writing. Pieces of loose paper tucked into the back. He flipped through the pages for a while until he found what he was looking for. They stayed like this for a while. Fitz talked like he wanted to prove all his knowledge in the field of engineering and Jemma listened with a patient and understanding ear.
A few hours into their study session, both of them had removed their shoes and were sitting comfortably on the bed. A sea of books and paperwork dividing them, stopping them from getting too close. "It's getting late." Jemma said as she clutched to the shape of her watch. Fitz looked up, the pen in his mouth almost falling out when he thought about Jemma wanting to leave. "We should get some proper dinner." She added, calming Fitz's thoughts. Fitz straightened up and took the pen out of his mouth. "Um, yeah. Yeah, w-we could do that." He stuttered. Fitz cleared his throat, trying to seem more relaxed. "Where were you thinkin'?" He asked, slightly more confident which Jemma definitely noticed as her eyes brightened. "There's that new Italian restaurant down the road?" She suggested with a raised eyebrow. Fitz didn't care what the answer was, he'd go out with her for dinner absolutely anywhere. Just as long as she'd be with him. "Sounds good."
The confidence in his voice stayed and he couldn't help but feel more relaxed. "Great. Well how about I go get changed into something a little more restaurant appropriate and then we can set off." She smiled. "You don't need to change. You look nice. I like pink on you." Suddenly all the colour seemed to drain out of Fitz's face and then came rushing back all at once. A bead of sweat formed on his forehead. 'Did I really just say that?!' he thought. But Jemma didn't scoff or ask him to expand on that comment, she just smiled and blushed. "Well then, let's go." Jemma demanded with all the enthusiasm in the world.
Back at the motel.
They were still holding hands and Jemma felt as if she could fall asleep right there and then but the fear of Skye walking back in and seeing them like this woke her from her tranquility. Jemma slowly lifted her head up, being careful not to startle him. Fitz felt a little part of himself crumble when she pulled away. And his hand seemed to freeze when she untangled hers from it. As he turned his head she placed her hands on his cheeks and wiped away the almost dried tears with her thumbs. "We'll be okay. We always have each other." Jemma announced before closing all the space between them with a hug. She placed her hand firmly on his back, making clear circles.
It took him a few seconds to react to the hug but when he did, he held her so close and so tightly that she thought he might actually break one of her ribs. Eventually he softened his grip as he realised it might be a bit too uncomfortable. Fitz buried his face into the crook of Jemma's neck. He could smell the lingering scent of her perfume. Daisies, he thought to himself. Her scent was intoxicating and her soft touch made him feel so safe and loved. He never thought he could ever feel so comfortable with a person until this very moment.
Although he wished it was under much different circumstances, he was grateful for the intimacy of this moment. Another part of himself crumbled when she pulled away. "How about we go for a walk?" She suggested, in her sweet soft voice. Fitz nodded, knowing this would grant them the true privacy they needed from the team. "We can't go far." He reminded her. "I know." She smiled brightly. Fitz stood up and made his way to the door to retrieve his coat from the hook next to it. Jemma quickly laced up her boots and hurried over to him. He handed her her coat. Before Fitz could reach for the door handle, Skye came rushing back in with chips and chocolate stacked in her hands, clearly the search for real food was short lived. "We're just going to get some fresh air." Jemma announced quickly, before Skye had time to question where they were going. "We won' go far." Fitz added.
They both rushed out the door and began walking to the pool. "Okay.." Skye said with a puzzled look on her face. The pair chuckled slightly as they left a bewildered Skye in the distance. They just walked for a while, doing a lap around the pool and then the courtyard that accompanied it. To take some pressure off their feet, they sat down at the edge of the pool. Jemma stared at the water and watched the wind make little ripples. "Do you ever regret it?" Fitz asked suddenly. "What?" Jemma asked. "Joining S.H.E.I.L.D?" He continued. Jemma thought about his question with great turmoil.
If she'd been asked a few months ago the answer would be a simple no, but so much has happened since then. She looked back at the pool like it would give her the answer she needed and then she looked back at Fitz. "I don't know." It wasn't the best answer but it was the best thing she could come up with. "Do you?" She turned her body all the way around so she was sitting cross legged in front of him. "No." He answered, this surprised Jemma slightly. "We're still a team." He added. Jemma reached for his hand, she warmed it up with hers. "Always." She told him.
Fitz felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him as he looked at her holding his hand and looking straight into his eyes. "Jemma…" He began, his voice was shaky and tears began to build in the corner of his eyes. He turned so he was mirroring her position. "I know this is probably the absolute worst time to do this.." he swallowed. Suddenly he had no control of what he was saying and words were just pouring out of him. "...but I've felt like this for a long time…" He was holding both her hands now and her eyes were wide. "...I've never had the courage to tell you that I-" He paused, knowing what he said next would change their friendship forever. "Jemma, you're my best friend, but you're also more than that." Fitz felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders and dropped onto his chest. Jemma's eyes were wide and her mouth was slightly dropped. Her heart felt like it was beating a thousand beats per minute and she felt as if she had lost the ability to speak. Without keeping him waiting any longer, she closed the space between them and pushed her lips against his. The initial shock made the kiss a little awkward, but as they continued, they eased into each other's embrace. Jemma rested her hands on his warm neck and his fell onto the ball of her knees. When they eventually came up for air, they both shared the same flushed cheeks. Jemma smiled and then chuckled. "I've been waiting for you to say that for a long time." Jemma jokes. Fitz's eyes were full and they both returned to each other's lips.
It was late and soon they'd have to face danger around every corner. But just for tonight, they would forget about that and watch the stars glide across the sky.