So Cold
The songs never stop. Not even when I'm in the audience of a king and queen.
Oh, you can't hear me cry
“I don't understand the importance of bringing this mortal here. We have enough issues after you failed to stop that monster.” Odin seethes from his place on the throne. What a grumpy old bastard.
Thor remains calm by my side, “Father, she lifted my hammer. I had to uphold our bargain.”
Odin scoffs but I know I've peaked his interest. Frigga watches me too from her spot beside the throne. Shouldn't a queen have one too?
See my dreams all die
“Fine, see to it she has comfortable accommodations, along with her… companion.” Briskly he waves a hand, dismissing us. Thor holds my elbow and guides me from the room, into the elegant marble halls.
“His room please.” That's all I say, honestly it's the first words I've said since we arrived. Sympathy laces his features, but he gives a quick nod before leading down the halls.
From where you're standing
After rounding a corner and passing a terrace, he comes to a stop between two doors opposite one another. One is made of a warmer oak while the other is made of a nearly black wood, as if it were charred.
The latter is the one he guides me too.
“If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask, Lady Adhara.”
On your own
Quietly the door clicks shut behind me but the room has captured the rest of my attention.
It's so quiet here And I feel so cold
The smell of him hits me like a brick wall and fresh tears spill. I lost all of them today. We all lost today.
This house no longer, Feels like home
Saint’s cold nose nudges my palm and it pushes me to focus on the room. What could Loki and I have been?
Oh, when you told me you'd leave
The large bed dominates the room. Lightly my fingers graze the soft dark green bedding and my breathing fumbles. It's so very him.
I felt like I couldn't breath
I miss them so much. It’s killing me. Bucky's laugh haunts my mind and Wade's manic laughter echoes. What will I do without them?
My boys.
My aching body fell to the floor
Across from the bed there’s an alcove full of clothing. Though I’m drawn to what’s directly across from the door, the balcony.
Then I called you at home
The glass doors swing open with the lightest touch. A beautiful garden opens up before, grander than anything Earth could ever show me.
All colors fill the space below and giant trees dot the rest. Almost like weeping Willows but larger and with golden spirals.
You said that you weren't alone
“He always loved spending time there.” Spinning around I find Frigga watching from the doorway. How did I miss her? But her smile is sincere, almost wistful.
I should've known better
“I’ve been much more than a queen dear.” Saint’s already warmed to her and patiently waited for her to pet him.
“He adored Loki.” I whisper brokenly.
Now it hurts much more
The look she gives me is broken. The look only a mother who lost a child could give.
“You plan to bring him home.”
You caused my heart to bleed and You still owe me a reason
Sniffling, I look to her. The songs sing around her voice but the screams have faded to the background. I can't be without them, we had so much planned.
I can't figure out why
“They’ll all come home.” Is my broken response and she crosses the room. Gently she pulls me into a hug and I let her. She doesn’t stop the itching but she’s nice.
Why I'm alone and freezing
Her hands run down my arms but she stops when her fingers find the ribbon. With wide eyes she lifts my wrist. “This was a gift from my son?”
While you're in the bed that she's in
Swallowing nervously I nod. This is Loki's mother and she is a damn queen. Still she smiles and unties the ribbon. I try to protest but she shushes me
“May I do your hair? It’s what he did with it, right?” Mutely I nod and she tugs me to sit on the bed.
I'm just left alone to cry
“Did he speak of me?” She asks as her fingers gently move my hair and the familiar sensation appears, making me gasp.
“Th-the warmth…” chuckling, a wisp of golden shimmer curls over my shoulder. It’s warm just like the green was.
You caused my heart to bleed and You still awe me a reason
“I see you know of his seidr.” Nodding, I watch her own dance across my arms.
“He never got to tell me about you… things were complicated.”
“Yet you love him enough to risk your life?” Her question's intention is obvious but it makes me smile. My life was never something I cared about, for the longest time only my two boys mattered. Now it's grown to Wade…. And just maybe Loki.
You caused my heart to bleed and You still awe me a reason
“There’s someone I’d like you to meet my dear.” She gestures to the door and an older woman appears, shorter than me and aided by a cane.
“This is Astera. An elder. One of the last I’m afraid. On Asgard they were entrusted with the fates, ideas and guidance.” Furrowing my brow I look between the two but Frigga smiles and pats my shoulder.
I can't figure out why
“He talked about his star constantly. It’s lovely to finally meet you.” She pats Saint’s head and leaves the room. Astera sits on the bed and pats the space next to her.
You caused my heart to bleed and You still awe me a reason
Curiosity wins out, and I move. “The fates have whispered about you for years.”
Pausing, she takes my hands between her gnarled ones. “They are blind to you, yet plan. To bring them home you must travel oh so far. Save a widow twin and sacrifice another who long outlived the fates design.”
I can't figure out why
She squeezes my hands tightly making me look her in the eye. One green on blue, “I’m so sorry my dear for what you must travel, but it’s the only way to bring them home.”
Oh, you can't hear me cry
The screams yield to her voice and the growls croon with it. She speaks the truth, no more no less. She brushes the back of her hand along the braid Frigga gave me and she smiles.
See my dreams all die
“Where do I start?”
From where you standing
Her mismatched eyes search my face, looking for something and we sit like that for at least a minute. I feel compelled so I let all my insanity and sadness show, my shoulders loosen and something in my chest caves.
On your own
“I believe in you, so don't the fates.” Pulling her hands away they fall to Saint’s ears. She looks him over, stroking his face and his tail thumps against the floor.
“You have quite the loyal companion,” She rubs the bridge of his nose, “The fates have a plan for you.” She whispers before pushing herself off the bed. Astera’s cane taps gently on the floor as she goes to leave.
It's so quiet here and I feel so cold
“Go to Heimdall, ask him about Niflheim. Tell him I sent you.” Saints' thumping comes to a stop as she leaves and suddenly the room feels suffocatingly empty.
This house no lounger, Feels like home