I scramble to grab my phone as the world around me spins. Fuck. I’m stumbling out the door and I can barley see my screen. Emergency contact. I hit it.
“[y/n]?”
“Otto?” I ask in a shaking breath.
I can barely speak but his soft voice brings me some comfort. It can’t stop the attack but it lets me know I’m not alone.
“Sweetheart? Are you okay?”
I nod, absentmindedly.
“I umm can you just talk. Anything. About anything.”
“Okay,” he says.
He sounds worried. I think he knows I’m having a panic attack.
“I stopped at the store during my lunch break. I got brownie mix so we can bake your favorite.”
I start to sob. I can’t hold it back anymore.
“Double chocolate?” I choke out.
“Of course. And I got some of those fun shapes for cookies. It’s kinda cheesy but you know, they’re cute. And I figured you might want brownie cupcakes again so I got these cute cupcakes wrappers with your favorite flowers on them.”
Oh my god, he’s so sweet.
“Sugar fixes everything,” I say, voice cracking.
He waits for me to finish talking. He’s always patient when my words slur and my sentences take more time.
He laughs softly and I manage to smile, though I still feel like I’m choking.
“And we can listen to music or watch a Ghibli movie. Or hell, we can watch all the Ghibli movies. ‘There you are, sweetheart. I’ve been looking everywhere for you’,” he quotes.
That helps. Otto repeating quotes from your comfort character? It was everything.
“And we’ll go for a walk to the park. We can have a picnic and later we can sit on the roof and look up at the stars. And I got you a new coloring book too. I wasn’t sure if there were enough gel pens left so I got those. Glitter ones this time. You know I like glitter,” he continues.
You collapse on the floor, shoulders hunched, shaking.
“I had lunch with Norman today too. We went shopping together. He’s still very busy but it was nice. I was telling him we have to go on a double date when he has a moment free. We have to meet this boyfriend of his! I’m sick of all the gossip! I want to meet him already.”
“And make sure he’s good enough for our best friend?”
“Damn, right,” Otto agrees. “Please, he was buying flowers for their date later. He’s so smitten. They’re going to see a horror movie too,” Otto says and you can practically hear him rolling his eyes. “Romantic comedy is where it’s at,” he says sarcastically, but you know he enjoys them too.
Along with a good cartoon and villain origin story, Otto absolutely loves movies. You took him to see La La Land, despite his protest that musicals suck, and he cried so hard leaving the theater that people approached you to ask if he was okay. Last night you got home late from work and heard him singing Never Getting Rid of Me in the shower. You sat outside the door listening to his raspy voice. He blushed when he opened the door fifteen minutes later to find you blushing and mumbling along, totally smitten.
“They’re never getting rid of Norman.”
“HEY! I thought you didn’t hear that part! Wait. Would it be nice if I sang to you? Would that be calming?”
“If you’re okay with it,” you choke out, hands still shaking uncontrollably.
You hear shuffling.
“I left when we started talking for privacy so I’m in the bathroom. It’s only one stall and I’ve just been leaning against the wall,” he admits with a laugh. “Though if anyone overhears, I can’t explain this one. Okay, here goes…”
…
“Thank you. I feel better now.”
“I’m glad, honey,” he says, but his voice sounds distant all the sudden.
“Otto? I can’t hear you too well.”
Is it the connection?
“Ah, sorry, sweetheart. I’m just in the café app. I’m going to send an order for your favorite drink to the one next to [your college], okay? Take a walk and go pick it up. The fresh air is good, honey.”
He’s too kind.
“Okay. Will you be here if I need you again?”
“Always. Always and forever.”