Here you are with your roommate’s boyfriend, jamming out to corny pop music on the radio, carefree. Or you were. Now you’re filled with panic. The situation didn’t set in until the moment it was almost too late. Five minutes from now they’re going to pull up to the arts center and when asked to sign in, Norman’s going to unknowingly deadname you. Then everyone will know and it doesn’t matter if you correct them and if they don’t do it again because they know. Once someone knows you can never take it back. The same way that when Otto met you he had been told your deadname by your classmates and you didn’t know how to fix the damage. So you went along with it out of fear. Now you know he’s accepting of all identities. But the fear still eats away at you enough to not tell him.
Norman lowers the music, eyes on the road but sensing the tension in the air. They don’t turn to face you, even when the light turns red. It’s not that they’re uncomfortable, they’re afraid of making you uncomfortable.
“What’s wrong?” he asks gently.
“I need you to stop calling me [deadname].”
You sneak a peak at him and he nods, eyes still fixed on the yellow car in front of you.
“What can I call you instead?”
Dammit. You didn’t think that far ahead.
“Uhhh, [y/n]?”
You didn’t mean for it to come out as a question but it does.
“Okay, honey,” they agree.
Norman calls everyone honey. It was kind of endearing when the habit didn’t fill Otto with jealousy. But he wasn’t here right now so no glare from the possessive boyfriend.
“My pronouns are he/they. What are yours?”
They/them pronouns? Norman uses those too?
Norman laughs awkwardly to clear the air, as if they misread the entire conversation.
“Uhhh mine are actually he/they too.”
He sighs with relief.
“Okay, cool. I was worried I overstepped there.”
You smile at them.
“No, it’s all good! There was just no way to tiptoe around it even though I wanted to.”
“Sometimes you just have to rip the bandaid off.”
You nod. Norman’s right.
“I’m not going to out you my boyfriend. That would be awful. I’m glad you trust me with this and I know you might not want Otto to know yet. I know how much coming out can suck and I know how much it sucks to be afab. But let’s trust each other, put this behind us, and create the ugliest piece of art the world has ever seen.”
“Yes,” you agree, pumping your fist in the air. “Let’s be menaces.”
“Honey, that’s what I do best. Might as well be my major,” Norman says and you both cackle.
The cars next to you share odd looks as the window is partly down and they can hear your high pitched laughing. Neither Norman nor you care. Today is about both you and in this moment you feel safe and content with your new best friend.