Bucky rolled over in bed, woken by the sound of his phone ringing. He reached out for the table he knew was beside his bed not even opening his eyes. His hand searched for his phone until he found it and pulled himself upright.
"Hello?" He said as he rubbed his eyes trying to wake up.
"Hey, James it Nat. Do you.." she paused for a second and it made Bucky worried, "Do you know where Steve is?"
Bucky tried to answer carefully but he felt the anxiety starting to rise.
"He got up in the middle of the night when his phone wrung...he didn't come back to bed," Bucky said staring at the empty space where he had expected Steve to be, "What's wrong?" He was starting to sound frantic.
"Alright I need you to take a deep breath and listen to me for a sec." She said sounding just as worried as Bucky.
He took a deep breath in and let it out then listened for Natasha's words.
"Steve.....Steve went on a mission with Tony." She stopped to find Bucky's reaction. Bucky froze.
"He- He what?" Bucky said just above a whisper.
"I know, James, deep breath." She said trying to sound calm, "You are in Wakanda right?"
"Ya." He said trying to stay grounded.
"Ok, Steve and Tony are only an hour from there and your on the way so I can....this is just an option. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, but I can come pick you up and take you with me. I could really use the backup because I have no idea what I'm goi-"
"I'm coming."
"Are you sure? I don't want you to..." Her voice trailed off.
"To completely loose it? Ya I won't. I'm only gonna fight if I have to. I'm going to get Steve the hell out of their." Bucky said adamantly.
"Alright. I'll be there in a half an hour."
Bucky hung up the phone and went to the closet to find his suit. He stared at it for a second before pulling it out and putting it on.
"I was kinda hoping I'd be done wearing this." He whispered as he looked at himself in the mirror. He shook his head getting rid of the thought.
Steve needed him. It was obvious this had been a dangerous mission because of how stressed Natasha, who always kept her cool, had been.
And if Steve didn't get the shit kicked out of his when Bucky got there, Bucky would do it himself.
"We are done with that now, Buck. No more fighting, no more war. Just the two of us." Steve's words echoed in Bucky's mind until Natasha got there.
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Bucky and Natasha had been flying in the Avengers Quinjet for awhile and were almost at the spot Nat new Steve and Tony would be at.
Natasha was in the pilot seat when he phone wrung. She pulled it from her pocket and put it on speaker.
"You better get talking." Natasha said clearly pissed.
"Listen, Nat, I need a pickup." The phone said and the voice sounded like Tony.
"Oh! You mean from that mission I told you not to go on because it was reckless?! I pick up from there?!" She barked kinda scaring Bucky.
"Yes, Romanov, that mission!" Stark said clearly not in the mood for a lecture.
"Listen up, jackass!" She screamed, "I told you not to go and instead of just going on a suicide mission you pulled Steve into it!"
"I know and we can talk about-"
"Oh we are going to talk about it!" She shouted making her throat hurt.
"It's getting bad out here!" Tony shouted sounding out of breath, "Come get us please!!"
"Me and James are almost there." She huffed still very angry but pushing it down for now.
"You're bringing Bucky!?" Tony croaked and then started having a side conversation with who Bucky thought was Steve, "Ya, Bucky. Here. No. Listen I'm not the one- alright I'll tell them."
Natasha rolled her eyes at Tony and Bucky had to stop himself from yelling at Steve the second he heard his muffled voice from the other side of the line.
"Rodgers doesn't want Bucky here." Tony said. Natasha turned to face Bucky.
"You up for this?" She whispered and he nodded even though he wasnt sure.
"Well, too fucking bad. He shouldn't have gone with you and not told Bucky and now he's pissed. I'm not gonna tell the guy with a metal arm not to save his dumb ass of a lover."
Tony and Natasha exchanged a few more shouts until they were right above the battlefield. Bucky saw out the window where Steve and Tony were and they were sourly outnumbered.
He ran to the other side of the Quinjet and when Natasha was holding it still he pressed the button, lowering a ramp and opening the hatch in the floor.
He couldn't see Tony or Steve at first but then he saw something that would always haunt him.
Tony was hobbling as quickly as he could towards the ship with Steve's one arm wrapped around Tony's shoulder practically being dragged behind him.
Bucky ran out and slung Steve's other arm around himself helping Tony carry him inside. They carried him over to one of the passenger seats lining the wall and lowered him into it as gently as they could.
Bucky didn't realize, until he felt nauseous, that he had glanced down at the two gunshots through Steve's middle that were pouring out blood.
"Nat!" He called hearing the panick in his voice, "Nat, get the first aid kit!"
"Tony! You drive!" Nat called getting up from the pilot seat as Tony slipped into it. She ran over with the little white box and pushed it open.
"He needs stitches but I can't give him those without pulling the bullets out!" She said really just thinking out loud.
"The bullets fell out!" Tony called from the front seat, "I saw them on the ground as I was carrying him!"
Natasha eyes shot up to Tony as he started to realize. Her mistake was glancing for a split second at Bucky. It was long enough to send him off the deep end but he held it together for Steve.
"Dammit Rodgers!" Tony yelled as he tried to steer the ship through the adreleline.
Natasha grabbed a cloth from the box and held it onto the bullet wholes with pressure. She took a close look at where the bullets had gone through him.
"It's ok! I don't think it went through his stomach!" She said pulling the already soaked through rag off of Steve. "He needs stitches and fast!"
She was already getting the needle out as she said it. Steve let out a groan of pain and Bucky's senses skyrocketed.
"Stevie?! Stevie can you hear me?!" Bucky called. Steve didn't answer but he moved his head slightly and looked up at Bucky with glassy eyes.
"He's loosing consciousness!" Bucky called to Natasha holding Steve's eyes, "C'mon Steve, hold on for me." He cupped a hand around the side of Steve's face.
"He won't, not with the serum." Natasha said putting on the two latex gloves in the first aid kit. She grabbed the needle and tried to start, but when Steve felt the needle pierce him he jumped back with a scream.
"Bucky I need you to hold him!" She called. Bucky new this was gonna hurt like hell, for the both of them. He closed his eyes tightly and put a hand on each of Steve's shoulders.
Steve screamed agian and Bucky could feel him sobbing beneath his hands, but he didn't dare open his eyes.
"Its gonna be ok. Just hold on." Bucky said trying to be reassuring to Steve and himself.
It felt like hours of Steve jerking back and yelling from the pain, of Bucky trying to hold him down and block it out while all he could think was, "I thought we weren't going to do this anymore."
Natasha finally pulled away and put the First Aid Kit back leaving Steve gasping from the pain, not able to catch his breath. He looked like he was about to pass out, but like Natasha said, he wasn't so lucky.
"B- Buck.." Steve mumble. Bucky was sitting in the seat next to Steve and was avoiding his eyes entirely.
"Ya?" Bucky leaning his against the wall behind him and looking up at the ceiling.
"It- It still hurts." Steve croaked out and Bucky could hear he was on the verge of tears. Bucky gave in and tilted his head to meet Steve's eyes.
He didn't say anything but he scooted towards Steve putting both his arms around him and bringing him in close to his chest.
Bucky eyes glanced around and he saw Natasha nod at him and then walk towards the copilot seat next to Tony. A few beats of silence passed through the air.
"Why did you do this?" Bucky said quietly. Steve pulled Bucky in closer and avoided the question.
"Can I rest first?" Steve asked to which Bucky nodded and Steve played back, resting his head on Bucky's chest and falling asleep.
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"Why did you do that?" Bucky shouted at Steve. They were standing in the kitchen of their home in Wakanda. Tony and Natasha had dropped them off a few minutes earlier.
Bucky had asked Steve three times the same question calmly since they got home and he got no answer and no he was pissed.
It shocked Steve when he got yelled at. Bucky didn't ever use that tone with him unless it mattered. He only remembered Bucky yelling at him like that back in the 40's when they were escaping a Hydra base and Steve told him to leave him behind.
"Steve! You promised you wouldn't do that! You promised it was over and there would be no more fighting!" Bucky was screaming like he was angry was Steve could see the hurt behind his eyes.
"I- I'm sorry, Buck." Steve said just above a whisper.
"Damn right your sorry! You told me no more! No more guns! No more blood! No more screaming in pain! You said we were done with that!"
"Bucky I promise I'm done-"
"Steve I swear if you say you're done with fighting now I'm gonna loose my shit!"
"I am! I'm don't with all that!" Steve yelled loudly but not angrily he just needed to be at the same level as Bucky.
"And how much is your promise worth if you don't fucking keep it!?" Bucky through his hands out infront of him for emphasis. He was staring at Steve who watched as smithing inside him switched.
Bucky let out a quiet shaky breath and Steve started to worry of a panic attack. He took a step towards Bucky when he was stopped by Bucky shoving out a hand.
"No, Steve. I'm going for a walk." Bucky said walking to the door.
"Buc-"
"I'm going for a walk." He said sternly before walking out of the house leaving Steve in the silence of the kitchen.
An hour later Steve followed Bucky out. He knew he was going to the river a mile from their house, it's where Bucky always went to think.
He got there and found Bucky right where he knew he'd be, sitting on the grassy bank of the small lazy river. Bucky heard him coming, of course he did.
"You couldn't just leave me alone, could you?" Bucky asked with no indication of how mad he was still at Steve.
Steve decided to risk it and sat down next to him on the bank.
"I've always been obsessed." Steve answered quietly thinking about how many people told him to stop looking for Bucky when he first found that he was still alive.
"Listen Buck, im-"
"Save it, Steve." Bucky said harshly, "Just answer me one question." Bucky looked over to make sure Steve followed, and got a nod in return.
"Anything."
"What other promises are you going to break?"
Bucky turned to look right in Steve's eyes. Steve just gave him a blank stare so Bucky kept going.
"You said you'd love me forever. You promised, and I've been holding onto that like it was everything. You promised no matter what we would always be together. If that doesn't mean everything I think it does can j just have a heads up?"
Steve watched a tear fall down Bucky's cheek and thought he heard his heart break when his mind understood the question.
"No. Buck. No. I'm sorry. I'm so...fuck..I'm sorry. I didn't mean to screw it up this much. And if you want to leave me-" Steve almost choked on the words, "I would understand. But please don't think that's what I would ever want."
"I don't want to leave you, Stevie, but I can't go back to that life. The fighting, the killing, I can't do it."
Steve lunged forward holding Bucky close in his arms.
"No, Bucky that was it. That was the only time im doing that. I already told Tony not to call me like that again."
"You told him that before." Bucky whispered mainly to himself.
"I'm sorry. I- I really am." Steve pleaded.
"I thought I'd lost you." He mumbled into Steve's shoulder holding him close.
"What?" Steve let go just enough to look Bucky in the eye.
"When I saw Tony dragging you in I thought it was over. You'd finally found a battle you couldn't win." Bucky said looking at the ground, "just don't scare me like that again."
"I- I'm sorry, Bucky. I promise I won't, for real this time." Steve said laying a kiss on Bucky's forehead.