Old Habits

It was still dark when she made her way into the kitchen. She sat at the counter, slowly sipping black coffee from an oversized mug and enjoying the eerie quiet and stillness.

It had been the same when she and James had arrived with Clint at the mansion the night before, and she’d been grateful at the lack of people who appeared to be home. She wasn’t sure how much it would have taken out of her if she had to face any one of them, only that it would’ve taken a lot.

James had helped her get Clint into his old bed, embraced her tightly on the way out, claiming he wasn’t sure it would be a good idea for him to spend the night here with them but asking her to please to keep him updated on Barton’s condition and she’d gladly thanked him for his help and assured him that she would. She’d asked him where he was headed, but he’d only given her a vague “up north” and a slightly sad smile. She didn’t dwell on it, though. He’d call her if he needed her, and she would go to him. They always did.

The warm liquid helped to ground her to her seat in the kitchen as she gazed slowly over the décor, feeling unfamiliar in a familiar setting. The feeling was unsettling, but she swallowed it down with the coffee.

“Natasha.”

She looked up to see Tony Stark standing in the doorway, dressed comfortably in his designer boxers and silk robe, arms folded across his mostly bare chest as he gazed at her fondly, flashing her a brilliant and dazzling smile.

She smiled back and rose from her perch, letting him embrace her.

“It’s good to see you,” he murmured, holding her tenderly.

“It’s good to see you too, Tony,” she said softly, painfully aware of how much she meant it.

“Did you sleep in your old room?” He asked.

“No-“ she started, but he interrupted her.

“No,” he said at the same time she did. “Of course not. You slept on the floor of Barton’s room.”

“Please. I slept in the chair in Barton’s room,” she said with a small, easy grin.

“And how is our ol’ Hawkeye doing?”

“He’s okay,” she said, with a confident shake of her head. “Still a little tired from the ordeal, but he’ll be okay.”

She recalled that she and James had explained to him where they were and what had happened once they’d gotten him to his room with minimal resistance, the sleepy conversation after James had left.

“I’m not totally sure he’ll remember everything we talked about last night, but he’s okay.”

Tony chuckled softly. “Isn’t that just par for the course whenever any of us had to put him to bed? I guess some things never change.”

She lowered her eyes into her coffee cup, thinking inwardly how everything had changed.

“So, now that you’re home, how long are you planning on staying? Awhile, I hope?”

“Not long, I’m afraid,” she said, straining to keep her voice even. “I really just wanted to make sure Clint’s in the clear. Once I can really talk to him and be sure, I’ll be headed out.”

He nodded, something soft passing over his eyes.

She poured him a cup of coffee, slid it across the table. “Does Steve know I’m here?” she asked casually.

“No.” He shook his head. “No one knows you’re here. Or that Barton’s here either for that matter. I figured you’d want to keep it that way.”

“Thanks,” she said quietly.

“Look, Natasha. I know it’s been awhile. But if you ever wanted to…. talk.”

“Thanks,” she said again. She waited for what she thought would be a polite amount of time in companionable silence with her host before standing up again. “I should actually go check on him.”

It had gotten lighter since she’d first sat in the kitchen, the first rays of morning seeping through the windows as she made her way silently up the stairs to Barton’s quarters.

She entered without knocking, then suddenly felt stupid for doing so when she saw him packing up his things.

He looked up when he heard her come in, his face breaking into a genuine smile as their eyes met.

“Clint!” She said happily, throwing herself into him and wrapping her arms tight around his neck, standing nearly on tiptoe as she hugged him tightly.

He wrapped his strong arms around her waist, holding her securely against his body.

“I’m so glad you’re awake,” she murmured into his neck. After taking a selfish moment to breath him in and feel his warmth, she raised her head level with his. “How are you feeling?” she asked.

“Much better than I was, thanks to you,” he replied without breaking his hold on her.

She hadn’t let go of his shoulders either, still holding him tight.

He craned his neck. “Bucky still here?”

She shook her head. “He left last night. After making sure you were safe, of course,” she added. “I’m… not sure how much you remember…”

He shrugged. “Bits and pieces. It’s just you and me?”

“Well, Tony’s home. But, yeah. Yeah, I guess so.” She instinctively held him closer. “Clint, I’m sorry…”

“Hey. None of that,” he said softly, his embrace fierce. “None of that,” he repeated.

“Okay,” she whispered.

“And no regrets.” He leaned his face close to her, his lips practically against her temple. “I will never, ever regret coming to help you. Ever. And I know it’s the same for you.”

She closed her eyes as she leaned into him. “It is. It really, really is.”

He kissed the top of her head. “It’ll be okay, I promise.”

She nodded.

“How long was I out of it?” he asked.

“About two days. We spent one night in the hospital and last night here.”

“You stayed with me the whole time?”

“Yes.”

He gazed at her, studying her face. “Why do I always have to almost die to get this kind of attention from you?”

She swallowed hard, realizing her body was still pressed tightly to his and eased carefully out of his embrace, swatting at his chest playfully. “I’d hardly call that almost dying,” she said, rolling her eyes.

He laughed.

“Do you want me to go downstairs and get you a cup of coffee, or anything?”

“Actually, I was thinking I’d go back to my apartment. Haven’t been there in awhile. Figured I should check to make sure the building is still standing and all.”

“Okay. I’ll take you,” she said.

He raised an eyebrow. “I can take myself. I do know how to get there from here, you know.”

“You just had a rough day. And like you said, you don’t know what’s going on over there. I’m coming with you.”

“Fine,” he said with a grin. “I know better than to argue.”

“Finally,” she muttered teasingly.

XXXXX

Her phone vibrated in her pocket as the cab pulled over in front of Clint’s Brooklyn apartment and she pulled it out with her wallet, checking the screen as she handed over a wad of cash to the driver. She shoved it back into her pocket as she slid across the seat to exit on the sidewalk, deciding to ignore the text.

Clint fumbled with half his equipment onto the elevator, while she carried the rest. He nodded to the few neighbors they passed when they got to his floor, calling fond greetings as he dug out his keys.

“Home sweet home,” he muttered, flicking on the lights and ushering her inside. He gestured with one hand to his makeshift armory. “Gear goes in there.”

“Right,” she said, her eyes instinctively sweeping over every dark corner and crevice. “I remember.”

“Been awhile,” he said idly. He spent the next few minutes putting his stuff away properly and she stayed in the hall, figuring she shouldn’t hover over his space.

He smiled softly at her when he returned, placed a hand easily at the small of her back. “See? Everything’s fine here.”

“Yeah.”

“Come on,” he said. “Make yourself comfortable.”

She sat down on the couch while he rummaged around in the kitchen.

“I don’t know what I’ll have here that’s not spoiled,” he called. “As you know, I haven’t been home in awhile. May haveta do doordash or something.”

“It’s fine,” she called back.

He returned with two bottles of water and a bag of chips, handing her one. “Nat… you sure you’re okay here?”

She nodded. “I am if you are.”

“I mean..”

“I know what you meant.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I understand if you want to get back.”

She shook her head. “It’s easier now that we’re not at the mansion.”

He knelt in front of her, touched her knee with his hand. “Still, if you want to go, you just say the word and I’ll drive you to the airport myself. Or you know, fly back with you, if you could use the company.”

She squeezed his hand. “I know. But I was thinking maybe we could just…. hang out here first? You and me?”

“Hell yeah we can. You want to go out somewhere? Do something fun?”

She shrugged. “Up to you.”

“Hold on.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Just gotta break a date first.”

“Oh, God, Clint. No, you don’t have to…”

“Nah.” He waved her off. “It’s not that important. I’d much rather hang with you anyway. Besides, we never get this kind of time together.”

He winked. “If all I have to break is a date to get time with you, then I’m taking it.”

She laughed, feeling her own phone vibrate in her pocket again.

He turned around to make his call and she looked at her phone, pressing the button to accept the call.

“Natalia?” The voice on the other side said.

“Yelena. Hi.”

“You have not answered any of my texts,” the woman said with mild irritation.

“Sorry, I’ve been kind of occupied,” she muttered.

“How is he?” Yelena asked, her voice only slightly softer.

“He’s good,” she answered, the relief evident in her tone. “He’ll be okay.”

“That is really great news,” Yelena said. “So when can we expect you home?”

She bit her lip.

“Natalia?” She could practically hear the frown on her friend’s face through the phone, followed by a long, drawn out sigh. “Let me guess. You thought you’d take a couple of extra days in New York, hang out with Bucky while you can.”

“Actually, I’m at Clint’s apartment,” she admitted.

It was quiet on the other end for a moment. “You do realize that there are other men on this planet besides those two, don’t you, Natalia?”

“Yes. Whatever, this is not up for discussion.”

“I get it. I get it. You have to do the mothering and the coddling, make sure Barton can tie his own shoes before you leave him on his own.” She stuttered at the marked silence that followed after she’d said the word ‘mothering.’

Natasha squeezed her eyes shut, sucking in a breath.

“N-Natalia… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- .”

“It’s okay,” she said through gritted teeth, only because she didn’t know what else to say.

Yelena sighed. “I’ll feed your cat and water the plants.”

“Thank you,” she said weakly. She was grateful when she heard Clint’s loud return from the hall.

“Well, that’s settled.” He raised an eyebrow at the phone in her hand.

“Yelena,” she said, placing it back in her pocket. She nodded to his phone. “She says she’s sorry you had to cancel your plans just for me.”

He shrugged. “Only thing I lost from that is any chance of having sex tonight.”

“I don’t know about that.”

His head snapped up, eyes slightly wide as he looked at her to see if she was serious. Maybe hoping she was.

She kept her face unchanged. “So, who on the team are you dating now?” she asked casually.

“I’m not ‘dating’ anyone. It was just a date. And it wasn’t with somebody on the team.”

She raised an eyebrow, wondering when he stopped dating superheroes. “Then who was it with?”

“Some girl I met at the diner we all used to go to in the old days. Amanda something.”

`”Damn, Barton. Run out of Avengers to mingle with?” She teased. “Is this Amanda something hot?”

He met her gaze straight on, not taking the bait. “I’ve dated hotter.”

She cleared her throat. “This person know who you are?”

“Of course she knows who I am. Why else would some stranger from a diner want me to take her out?”

She crossed her arms over her chest and lowered her gaze, deciding not to take his bait either.

He took a couple of steps towards her. “So, what do you want to do tonight?”

She shrugged.

“Movies?” He suggested. “Boat ride? Get crazy dressed up and go to a nice restaurant?”

He closed the distance between them, running two fingers through the long side of her hair before tucking it behind her ear. “Or we could just order some takeout, hang here..”

She raised her eyes to look up at him, not moving away.

He placed his thumb and forefinger under her chin, gently tilting her face up to his and leaning his head down slightly to press his lips to hers. “Did I read that wrong?” he whispered.

“No,” she breathed, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down to her.

“Didn’t think so.” He kissed her more forcefully, circling his arms around her waist and pressing her up against his body.

She opened her mouth against his, inviting him in, kissing him back just as hard. “Mmmmm, this is so not why I wanted to come over,” she murmured against his mouth.

“I know,” he said, moving his kisses to her face. “Do you want to stop?”

“No,” she whispered.