Epilogue
Mastering hands-free time travel is like trying to walk, swim, and breathe underwater simultaneously. Seconds turn into minutes, hours, days, years, decades, and so on and so forth, forming a möbius strip in a network of choices leading to conception, beyond, then back again. Everyone but Klaus calls it looping. Five initially grasps the skill set with Loki by his side. The god eases his fear, slash recurring nightmare, of miscalculating and ending up at the beginning of the post-Apocalypse without powers. Clutching a broken briefcase, able to fit into his uniform and drowning in a crisp, black, soon-to-be funeral suit. He will survive finding their bodies again, but not digging his own grave beside them.
Five makes a habit not to rank what was second worst in the wasteland’s bottomless list of terrible things. Weather is unpredictable, there are no seasons, and the topography shifts with the tides. The fires last forever and relight without warning. Earthquakes are common, clean water scarce. He has little, followed by no first-aid supplies. Hunger. Arthritis. He’s alone until he isn’t, even though he really is. He never works hard enough and his alcoholism makes it that much harder. Reginald might as well be whispering, ‘I told you so Number Five,’ yet he would give anything to hear the old man’s voice. Any voice. One voice in particular. Living on the edge of dying is the norm. Mirrors are near impossible to come by and easily break. Itchy beards. Chapped lips. Charred bones. Grit. Rust. The fucked up sounding wind. No wind. Muted colours that only get duller. There’s not enough light in the day. The thoughts race on and on.
Luckily Loki’s gifts can pull him out of it and, thankfully, his siblings don’t remain 29 for long. Klaus resets to the only time they completed rehab without relapsing. It was one of their proudest moments and they wanted to see how hot they’d get without the drugs, among other reasons. Allison is always at her most beautiful, Lila, Diego, and Luther their fittest, whereas Viktor hasn’t asked. Five dials back to the end of his time with Aodh and enjoys ageing in comfort. Loki’s the common thread mending their torn family, most of whom live at the former Academy. No longer Sir Reginald Hargreeves’ stuffy residence, they remodel the mansion to suit their eccentricities. Five’s mental health improves, everyone’s does.
They track down the other 35, but their cohort skews volatile and only 13 live to hear Loki’s offer of assistance. Sloane, a certified genius able to manipulate gravity, marries Luther. They’re perfect together but it’s best to avoid them unless you want to witness gushing kissy-faces or baby talk. Diego and Lila scramble their DNA. Stan’s spectacularly ordinary and by far the strangest Hargreeves. Dear little-girl-on-a-bicycle, you gotta love him, he accidentally kills Klaus a dozen times by the age of 12. The ‘cool dead auncle’ jokes about it, but it’s worrying in a number of ways. Plus the house wouldn’t be complete without little Grace or Coco monkeying about. It’s funny watching Diego and Lila raise kids and, as far as Five can tell, they’re great parents.
Allison and Patrick live in Los Angeles whereas Claire is a doctoral student at the University of California in Berkeley. The couple reconcile once their troubled sister works through her issues. They visit often since a trip to the city is just a phone call away. Ceasing Dad’s pills and being around Loki in a supportive environment allows Viktor to see his true self with pride. He lives with his partner nearby.
Five and Klaus are inseparable, in their own way. Wasting no time, the pair drip flirtation in the morning, have their first tango with drinks that afternoon, and are ripping each other’s clothes off by nightfall. Five shows his saviour how he feels and Loki eventually accepts he wears blue as divinely as he does green. The triad introduces the world to the term throuple. Meanwhile, women can’t keep their hands off the famously dead Hargreeves.
Understandably, it takes a while for Angrboda to acclimatise. Never having a life of her own, or adequate nutrition, Boda takes the chance to live a childhood. Well, as much as anyone can have a typical childhood in the Institute for Snarky Delinquents. She teaches Stan and the twins how to swing an axe. Pogo, always youthful, learns to tattoo. He then opens a parlour specialising in repurposing Umbrella pieces. Mom successfully passes the Turing test and earns recognition as the originator of a new artistic movement. News of the would-have-been Apocalypse and the Commission stay family secrets. Nonetheless, a cult of Loki forms almost immediately. Who could blame them? He still blushes if someone mentions it.
Although the fateful funeral happened 20 years ago, it’s difficult to say if they understand anything about the TemPad since there’s no safe way to test their limitless theories. The Norn’s will provide, or they won’t, and they cause enough chaos to fill the days without it. More often than not they train for the Multiversal battles ahead of them. Recharging and treating injuries become a cinch between Loki’s sorcery and Five’s rewinding. They’re the strongest they’ve ever been. The United Nations declares March 24 a holiday after they intervene in natural disasters on seven continents. Despite all the fuss, the team prefers to spend their leisure time chilling at home. They adopt a cat and name her Sylvie. Five tries every flavour of coffee, eats at Griddy’s on the regular, gets fucked up beyond all recognition while singing karaoke, and helps a guy leave the Commission. Hazel elopes with his favourite server, Agnes, soon after. The inaugural class meets their birth mothers and visit a giant ball of twine.
Then, when they’ve all gathered for a family dinner, the fabric of reality slides away. A drably dressed moustachioed man with salt and pepper hair walks through the passage, and faces Loki with a wide grin.
“Hey, there you are, pussycat. I’ve been looking all over for ya.” Surveying the room, he continues in a comforting twang, “I see here you’ve had kittens since our last chat.”
It’s Mobius.