Outliers
When you’re born immaculately and spend most of your life surrounded by chaos, it's reassuring to know that there is a god of it all. Nevertheless, it becomes somewhat less comforting when Five realises his alien prince is just as subject to the whims of the unknown as he is.
*
Although the god-like visitor from another universe progresses much slower with his attention divided, their talk is a welcome distraction from the patchwork of bizarre sensations stitching Five’s body back together. As Five listens intently, the sights around him blur into a hazy background. Their conversation softly mingles with the waves crashing against a nearby cliff. The chilled wind is refreshing, lessening the weight pressing on his eyelids. Five feels as if his mind is being stretched and challenged after years of atrophy while they speak of multiple universes, oddly named adversaries, and quantum mechanics.
Apparently, there’s an Orwellian regime called the Time Variance Authority, supposedly located outside of spacetime, who sound like a bunch of assholes except for Agent Mobius. The TVA eradicates undesirable timelines, or sometimes wipes the memories of variants, in order to enforce the relentless bureaucracy of a sacred timeline. Orphaning little girls and ensuring apocalypses is just another day at the office. Some drones even spend their entire lives within the maze of brutalist hallways and corridors. But then Loki and his allies overthrew the TVA’s leader, a human who calls himself He Who Remains.
Five notices Loki’s panged expression when he discusses his lost comrades, particularly a staggering individual named Sylvie. The weight of his regret hangs heavy in the space between them. As he speaks, his voice trembles slightly, and he visibly sags while explaining how much his arrogance costs him. Five’s not sure how to comfort the celestial being, so he reaches out to bridge the distance by taking Loki’s palm in his.
His hands are like those of a skilled artisan — or a marble statue carved from flesh and bone.
Loki lets go of a held breath, and the furrow in his brow smooths over. The pair let a stillness settle before he returns to his efforts.
*
“Let me see if I have this straight. Nexus events occur when someone deviates from their predetermined path — say, if a Loki veers away from their ‘glorious purpose’ — causing a split in the timeline. Each resulting timeline then develops its own unique future, leading to a multitude of possibilities. It’s like the branches of a tree, spreading out in different directions.”
Five thought he’d figured out what went wrong with the time dilation projection calculations, which burdened him with a second bout of puberty, but his underlying assumptions were also incorrect.
No wonder I can’t acorn.
“That’s fascinating.”
He does not expect Loki’s face to darken as uncertainty seeps into the atmosphere.
“You are correct, in theory. From my perspective, until a few hours ago, anything and anyone the TVA didn’t like was ‘pruned.’ That’s a nice way of saying ‘sent to the Void at the End of Time to be consumed by a terrifying monster.’
“The Void is an amalgam of alternate realities inhabited by variants organised into factions. All the variants I met were rubbish except for me as a child and me in the future. Oh, and the alligator is a fine chap to have in a scrap. Otherwise, he mostly growls. When not fighting amongst each other for survival, they’re running from a nightmare — a glowing malevolent hunger. The sky is a chaotic maelstrom of swirling thunderclouds from which emerges a gargantuan creature, a grotesque blend of all the tears in reality. Until Sylvie thought to enchant the beast, all anyone could do was outrun Aiolth.
“When Mobius broke from our party in the Void, it was to burn the TVA to the ground — I assume he meant this metaphorically — yet, after Sylvie rightfully sent me flying through a Timedoor, everything was wrong at headquarters. Instead of a giant statue of three space lizards, there was one of He Who Remains’ variants. The timeline was branching far faster than the TVA could react, but Mobius and Hunter B-15 didn’t recognise me. Sorcery is not possible inside the TVA so, when I realised I was truly alone, I jumped over the railing and landed in a hovering mail cart. Startling the driver, we crashed into the command centre and I stole Casey’s TemPad before he could react. I had no time to work out how it functioned, so I pressed a random assortment of prompts until a Timedoor led me to three metres to your left. I was following the sound of ale and intrigue when we met.”
“Woah! And I thought my life was a sequence of concentric outliers. It’s hard to say what’s worse, the Void or the post-Apocalypse! I had absolutely no one, but you could’ve met an infinite number of absolutely anyone. With my luck, I’d run into nothing but Sir Reginald Hargreeves’ variants.”
For far too long, all the traveller heard from outside himself was the disappointed drill sergeant chiding him whenever the disaster du jour claimed his shelter, contaminated his water, stole his food.
“My biggest worry about lunch was its absence or contracting botulism, not whether I might be lunch. I always felt like I was wasting time just surviving. Now, I’m grateful that I didn’t get stuck as that 13-year-old version of myself. Everything just keeps getting more complicated, but I’m ready to face it.”
Loki raises an eyebrow and sets his hands on his hips, as if to say, ‘no, you certainly are not.’
“Kang the Conqueror can wait. Time and space are funny that way. We’ll unravel the mystery of the machine’s operation once you’ve recuperated and we hunt down those miscreants. But first, I need a drink.” Loki’s stomach growls. “Amongst other things.”
Five weakly chuckles while holding his sides.
“We should head back to see what sort of feast they’ve laid out in my father's honour. If Odin shows, I'm sure I will be able to talk our way out of whatever offense we've inadvertently caused. Where I am from, we do not require such indulgences from Midgard. Since the Great Hall is likely deserted, I can apply a few concealment charms to ward off our enemies.”
“You, my friend, are unbelievably amazing!” He places a hand on Loki’s shoulder and squeezes. “Thank you so much. I feel about a thousand times better.” Fives eyes widen as a sudden realisation hits him. “Oh, shit. Before we deal with that fuck-knuckle of a tit, the witless cocksplat who tried to sacrifice me (and worse), we gotta find Angrboda. I can’t just leave her behind.”
Ceasing his rejuvenations, Loki blinks away Five’s bloody grime, evens out his poorly shorn hair, and conjures short leather boots along with woollen socks. Soon after, they locate the woman hiding in a storehouse. There’s quite a tearful shriek of happiness as the ageless beauty with the gracious eyes and flaxen hair bruises Five’s still aching ribs in a crushing embrace. Or maybe it’s happiness topped with a twinge of fearful reverence at her answered prayers.