Always Be Juniper

Chapter Two
April 5, 2003

“Happy birthday!” Foggy’s voice rang through the phone at exactly 12:01 on April 5. My 18th birthday, and only two months out from graduation. This had been a ritual ever since freshman year, when I first met the one and only Franklin Nelson. He was one of the only boys in the crap theater program at Van Buren Public School, and I was going in for my first audition. I absolutely failed, forgot half my lines. When I went out into the waiting room holding back tears, Foggy made sure I was okay. When I told him what happened, he threw his audition. Of course, he still got the lead, the director was a friend of his father. That didn’t matter to me, what mattered was that he showed me that I shouldn’t have been embarrassed. Ever since, we’ve been inseparable.
“You know Fog, I don’t think the people in Idaho heard you. Why don’t you try again?” I was trying to pass my smile off as annoyance, but I knew that it wasn’t working.
“I’d love to, but there’s nobody in Idaho to hear me. Besides, you heard me and that’s all that matters.”
“That’s nice, but tonight is opening for Zombie Prom, you need your beautiful singing voice to be perfect.”
“We both know the theater’s budget is way too low for that musical. Besides, I’m playing a zombie. I doubt that dead men have the best voices.”
“Fine, you stay up. I’m going to celebrate eighteen years by getting some sleep. Goodnight Corpse Boy.”
“Goodnight stage manager. I expect your best at the show.” He hung up the phone, and I couldn’t contain my laughter anymore. Foggy could always do that, make me forget about anything bad in my life. I fell asleep with a smile on my face, excited to see him at school the next day.

My alarm blared in my ear at 5. My eyes squeezed shut, but before I could fall asleep again, someone banged at my door.
“Happy birthday kiddo!” The door cracked open, then slammed the rest of the way as Oliver ran towards me. He jumped on the bed next to me, then threw a present at my face. “Oliver, be nice to your sister.” My mom’s voice was light, we all knew that Oliver was just joking around. “And Juniper, I need to speak with you before you leave for school today.” Mom turned around and left the room to just me and Ollie.
“I got you something,” he whispered, “I think you’ll like it.” He picked the package off my face, letting me sit up. “Okay, open it.” I grabbed the box from his hands and started ripping at the newspaper he used to wrap it. Underneath all the paper was an old snapback cap that read World’s Best Stage Manager.
“Oh wow. This is great kid.” Oliver went to every show where I was in the crew. Even my first show, where all I did was hand props to the actors, he was there. “Now, I gotta go see mom. You coming to the show tonight?” He nodded at me, and I got up to leave. Before I could move too far, he grabbed my wrist.
“Moms seemed pretty serious when I woke up this morning. I got a feeling that whatever she needs to tell you, it ain't good.”
“Okay Ollie, I’ll be careful. Now, go get ready for school.” I shooed him out of my room, and went to see my mom.

The second I walked into the dining room, she shot out of her seat. “There’s something I never told you. About your father.”
“What is it? Was there a breakthrough with the case?” My heart started beating irregularly. There hadn’t been any updates in seven years, but maybe that changed?
“No, not Jack. I meant your biological father.” She took a steadying breath, and closed her eyes. “When he left, he gave me a letter to give to you on your eighteenth birthday. To be honest, I completely forgot about it but when I was digging out your birth certificate for college, I found the envelope.” My eyes shot to her hands where, sure enough, there was an old envelope with Juniper Seabourne scrawled out across the front of it. “You don’t have to read it, but I promised him that I’d give you the choice.” She added.
“Thanks mom, I think I’ll just hold onto it for now? That way I can read it when I’m ready.” She nodded and handed it to me. I took it with shaking hands, and went back to my room. I stuffed it in my bag, hoping to forget about it. I got dressed, and proudly put on my new hat. If I was going to be a nerdy stage manager, I was going to look like one.

The entire school day, I couldn’t stop thinking about the letter. Would it say his name? Why he left? Hell, would it say anything other than ‘Sorry I left’? I didn’t want to read it, I didn’t need to hear his excuses. I had a dad, and this man wasn’t him. Yet there was that small part of me, a part I didn’t want to admit was there, that needed to know who he was.
“Ms. Seabourne? I asked you a question.” Mr. Miller, the Environmental teacher, was clearly annoyed.
“Sorry sir, could you repeat it? I didn’t catch it the first time.” I asked.
“Of course. I asked you what the difference between monocots and dicots is.” That should’ve been an easy question. I knew the answer, but my mind felt like a fuzzy radio signal.
“I’m sorry sir-” Before I could finish my answer, Foggy cut me off, “Monocots have one seedling leaf, and dicots have two.”
“Thank you Ms. Seabourne.” Mr. Miller pronounced my name harshly while staring directly at Foggy. I flashed Foggy a smile, and he mouthed You okay? At me. I nodded, then turned my attention back to the class. If I wanted any hope of passing, I’d need to actually focus.

After class, Foggy caught me in the hall. “Juni, you sure you’re okay? You’re usually on top of that class.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m good. It’s just I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep because of tech week.” It wasn’t really a lie. Last night was the most I’d gotten since production started for Zombie Prom.
“Okay, only this weekend and then we’re done with theater for the rest of our lives. Then you can sleep forever.” He smiled, but I could tell that he’d miss it.
“The best and worst times of our lives.” I joked, elbowing him in his side.
“I’m just glad it happened. Otherwise, we’d both be the loneliest people in this whole school.”
The warning bell rang and we parted ways.

After two more classes, the entire cast and crew raced to the theater to prepare for opening night. I rushed backstage to start mic checks, but a freshman cut me off before I could reach it.
“Juniper, Marissa wasn’t in school today.” Marissa was the makeup artist, and there was nobody else that could do makeup like her.
“Shit. Okay, tell everyone to do their own stage makeup. Anyone that doesn’t know how can come see me and I’ll help them.” The freshman ran off to tell everyone the bad news, and I started mic checks. I was running around like a lunatic, as I did before every show, trying to make sure that everything would be perfect. I had trained the light crew myself, so they’d be fine. I was more worried about the makeup now than anything else. Every show, there was always someone out. I had just had my fingers crossed that it’d be someone with an understudy this time.

After a few hours, the house opened and all the actors started to freak about their makeup. I went to help Foggy first, I had faith that everyone else could get by, but I knew Foggy well enough to know that he didn’t even know how to hold a makeup brush.
“Thank god you’re here to save me.” Foggy said when he saw me behind him in the mirror. I started with his brows. They’d be invisible in the lights if I didn’t darken them. I added blush and contour, then I had to move on.
“I’ll be waiting for you when you come off so I can paint you zombie green. Get here quickly, we won’t have much time.” I told him.
“Yes ma’am.” He smiled, and I shooed him out of the makeup chair. All the other actors were able to help each other with their makeup.
“5 minutes until curtain!” I yelled backstage. Everyone started scrambling to get into costume, skim over their lines again, and stand anxiously around backstage. This was my favorite time of opening night. I had faith in my crew, the set looked great, and the mics were all working perfectly. It was up to the actors now, and they knew it too.

The actors were doing great. After a few minutes, Foggy ran backstage and into the makeup seat. “Okay Stage Manager, make me a zombie.” I rolled my eyes at him and got to work. It wasn’t perfect, but it was better than what Foggy could’ve done. “It looks great, thank you so much. Now, I need to go pretend to be a dead man. Wish me luck.” He ran back to the wing and waited for his cue. I went back to the prompt corner quickly, hoping that the kid I left back there was handling everything. When I got back, they didn’t look stressed, but looked relieved when I reentered.

At intermission, I remembered the letter that was burning a hole in my bag. I couldn’t wait any longer, and I opened it. The handwriting was almost regal, and the stationary looked expensive. I took a deep breath, and read the letter.

May 10, 1985
Dear Juniper,
Tonight, I made the hardest decision of my life. I left you and your mother, and I won’t be coming back. There are many things about my situation that I can’t write, in case this letter ever ends up in the wrong hands. I can’t tell you my name, or why I left. What I can tell you is that I wanted to stay, and if there had been any other way to keep you and your mother safe, I would have taken it. I’ve left you and your mother a large sum that should cover your upbringing and college if you choose to go. I’m sorry that I won’t be there for your first steps, first day of school, or whatever else you do in life. All I can hope is that you get to live the life I never could. Don’t waste it, don’t take it for granted, and fall in love. I fell in love with your mother, and it saved me from myself. I only wish I could stay around long enough for you to love me too.
-Your Father

My hands were clutching the paper. The man that wrote this wasn’t my father. My father died on my doorstep ten years ago. The man that wrote this was a coward that didn’t even have the decency to give a reason for leaving. I shouldn’t have read this. Now I was even less focused than I was before. I heard the door to the prompt corner open slowly, “Hey Juniper, you alive in here?” Foggy walked into the small room, and closed the door behind him. I looked up at him, and he could tell that something was wrong. “What’s that letter? College rejection?” Foggy asked. I shook my head, and almost broke down on the spot. I handed him the letter to read, and he skimmed it. “God, you got this today?”
“Yeah, my mom gave it to me.” I swallowed thickly, and struggled to hold it together. “I hate him, Foggy.” My voice was quiet, but he heard me anyway. He pulled me into a hug, and didn’t let go until my breathing steadied.
“Why don’t we skip the cast and crew dinner tonight? We can go back to my place and order food.” I smiled, and pulled back from him slightly.
“That’d be nice Foggy. But are you sure that they wouldn’t miss the star of the show?” I could already feel myself perking back up.
“I think they can live without me for one night.”
“No, I was talking about myself. I’m the one running this show.” Now it was his turn the roll his eyes.
“Only one more act. I’ll find you after the show, and we can get out of here.” I checked my watch, two more minutes left of intermission. Shit, I’d missed the five minute call. I rushed out of the room and yelled “Two minutes!” For the rest of the night, I had my successor be stage manager. I played it off as giving him experience before he truly takes the mantle, but I think he knew that I just needed a break.

The show ended and, just like he promised, Foggy came and found me. He didn’t even wipe off his makeup before we left the building, he just grabbed my hand and we ran out the back exit to avoid everyone else. I called my brother to let him know that I probably wouldn’t be home that night, then Foggy drove around aimlessly for an hour. “Do you want any food? Maybe Arby’s?”
“I have never met anyone that likes Arby’s as much as you do.” He recited their jingle in the deepest voice he could, and I couldn’t help but to burst out laughing. “Fine. Let’s go get Arby’s.”
We walked into the Arby’s, Foggy in green face paint and a tux, me in all black. We must have looked strange to say the least. The cashier took our order, but it was clear they were trying not to laugh.
I must have fallen asleep once we got back to his car, because the next thing I knew I woke up on Foggy’s couch. Even with a wall dividing us, I was reminded why I called him Foggy in the first place. He snored so loud, I felt bad for whoever his college roommate would be.