He caught the bottle cap. "I'm here."
The director called cut, and Tom rushed past the crew as they fussed with the set, eager to get back to his trailer. An all too familiar feeling stirred in his gut, and he exhaled shakily, willing himself to stay calm at least until he could get out of his costume. His breathing picked up the closer he got to his trailer, but right before he could make it to the door, he was stopped by a hand gripping his elbow. He froze, along with the air in his lungs.
"Tom, are you alright?"
Tom exhaled as he realized who it was, some of the tension leaving his body, although it did little to quell the panic surging through him.
"I'm fine, Chris, thanks for worrying though. Gotta get back to my trailer. Important stuff. Phone calls. Bye." He hoped he hadn't come off too short or cold with Chris, but it was far too late to dwell on that. Before Chris could respond, Tom hurried into his trailer and shut the door. He paced around as his breaths grew shorter and quicker. He felt like he was suffocating, both literally and figuratively.
He sat on the floor and leaned himself up against a wall, hugging his knees to his chest. Sobs wracked his body, and he tried desperately to fill his lungs. The feelings washed over him in nauseating waves. Loneliness. Guilt. Loss. Self-hatred. Although he was certainly feeling all of these emotions, they were not his own. Guilt over things that he had not done, and the loss of people who were nothing but fiction.
Character bleed was not a uncommon thing for Tom, but he rarely had it to this extent. When playing Loki, it was hard not to take a bit of the character home with him, but sometimes he felt as though he himself had gone through the horrors that Loki had endured, and right now it was choking him. He hugged himself tighter.
He thought about what had brought on this surge of emotions in the first place, and he would've laughed if he could breathe. During the last scene they had filmed, Thor mentions giving Loki a hug if he were actually there. Loki then catches the bottle cap as Thor throws it, but the hug never comes. Tom knows that Loki is going to die in Infinity War. They had been planning it long before the filming of Ragnarok. It's a silly thing to be upset about, the knowledge that a fictional character didn't get a hug before he died, but it hits Tom way harder than he thought it would, which brings him back to the present: where he sat pathetically on the floor of his trailer, hugging his knees, sobbing, and struggling to breathe.
Suddenly, Thor- no, Chris is kneeling in front of him, speaking to him in a calm manner. Chris reaches out, but pauses right before actually touching Tom. He waits for Tom to confirm that he is alright with touch, and when he doesn't object, Chris grabs his hand and pulls it to his chest, taking long, exaggerated breaths and allowing Tom to copy him.
After several minutes of Tom trying to get his breathing under control, and Chris gently coaxing the deep breaths out of him, Tom finally falls into a steady rhythm of breathing. He falls forward into Chris's arms, exhausted but still shaking after his panic attack. Chris firmly wraps his arms around Tom, still lightly exaggerating his breaths just in case.
They sit on the floor like that for several more minutes before Chris's back starts to protest, and only then does he speak up.
"You know, this would be far more comfortable up on the bed. Are you okay with me moving you?"
Tom nods his assent, and Chris picks him up bridal style, earning him a grunt of surprise from Tom. He laid them down on the bed so that Tom's head was resting on his chest, and Chris could rest his head on the pillow. He pulled a blanket over the both of them, and wrapped his arms around Tom once more. Tom pressed himself even closer into Chris, seeking as much physical comfort as he could find.
"Would you like to talk about it, or would you just like to lay here for a while and rest?"
Tom thought for a moment, before shaking his head against Chris's chest.
"Alright, how about we get some sleep then?"
This time, Tom made a sound of agreement, far too exhausted for verbal communication.
And so Chris rubbed gentle, soothing circles into Tom's back, until he could feel the slow rise and fall of Tom's chest that suggested sleep. He wiped the leftover tears from Tom's face, and then he, too, fell into a peaceful slumber.