I Promise

Peter woke up a few hours later, head still in Mr. Stark's chest. Tony was still asleep and Peter did not want to wake him. He very carefully got off the bed, mindful not to jostle the mattress too much. Once off he went to use the bathroom, his bathroom. When Peter came out he fixed the blankets so they were completely covering Mr. Stark so he wouldn’t get cold and then he left the room. He was overjoyed he could move on his own without having to bother Mr. Stark. He was sick of being a burden.

He went into Tony’s room and grabbed the red and blue throw blanket. He hoped Mr. Stark wouldn't mind since he did say it was Peter's. And then he made his way to the living room, going over to the bookshelf against the left wall and browsing the options, also hoping Mr. Stark wouldn’t mind him borrowing one of his books (He didn’t know, but Tony had stocked the bookshelf with books he hoped Peter would enjoy, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Hunger Games, Divergent, Narnia, etc.). Peter picked out the first Lord of the Rings since he remembered Mr. Stark’s nickname for Clint was based on a character within the book. He went over to the couch, sat down, snuggled under his red and blue throw blanket, and started to read.

____

Less than an hour later Tony woke up. He turned to his side and started to open his eyes, “Peter?” He saids in a gruff groggy voice. At hearing no response his eyes shot wide open, sleep forgotten in an instance. Peter wasn’t next to him and he freaked out, throwing the covers off him and jumping up. He couldn’t see him anywhere in the room and the bathroom door was open signifying that no one was inside. He rushed out the door and checked his room, but Peter wasn’t there.

He felt like he couldn’t breathe. He had read somewhere that losing your child, even just for a minute in a grocery store, felt paralysing and like you wouldn’t be able to breathe again until you laid eyes on them once more. He wondered if that was what he was feeling right now, but only briefly because his number one priority was finding Peter. He rushed down the hall and into the living room. Peter was on the couch under his blanket reading. Tony let out a breath at seeing him. It truly did feel like he wouldn’t be able to breathe without Peter. After the initial shock and panic wore off he smiled down at Peter who had still not noticed his presents.

Peter would have heard Tony’s panicked breaths and footsteps from rooms away normally, thanks to his enhanced hearing, but he was so engrossed in his book that he was in his own little world. A world of hobbits, wizards, elves, and many more fascinating fantasy creatures. He was reading about Frodo leaving his cushy little life in the shire, when he finally noticed Mr. Stark.

He looked up from the book and smiled, “Hi.” But then he frowned noticing Mr. Stark's heart rate was elevated, even though it did seem to be slowing down now. “Are you ok?”

Tony smiled down at the concerned boy, “I am now.” He looked at the book in Peter’s hands. “Nice choice, how are you liking it?”

Peter peared at where Mr. Stark was looking and then looked back up, “It’s really good so far, Frodo just left the Shire.” He paused, “I hope it’s okay. I'm borrowing it.” He said with a bit of hesitancy.

“It’s more than fine, I bought all of those books for you actually.” He said alleviating Peter’s fear.

“Really?” Peter said in surprise. Mr Stark had done that for him? The more he did for him the more Peter felt he would never be able to repay him.

“Yes really. You can keep reading if you want and I can work on some SI work that I have been avoiding.” He laughed.

“Okay.” Peter said simply with a smile as he turned back to the book excited to see what happens on Frodo’s journey.

Tony went to his room and grabbed his Starkpad and then came back out and sat on the other end of the couch. And that's how they stayed for two hours, in the comfortable silence of reading and working. Both feeling safe in the presence of the other.

_____

Around 1:30 Tony broke the comfortable silence, “How does lunch sound?”

Peter looked up, “Sure.” he said with a soft smile. He was getting hungry, but didn’t want to be greedy after all the food he had eaten this morning.

“Since you are officially back on solid foods you can have whatever you want. What will it be?” Tony asked, even more excited than Peter at the prospect of eating whatever he likes.

Peter actually was a bit anxious. Since his time here he has had to make some decisions, but almost none without being given a few options. And even that was difficult for him. Now he could have anything he wanted to eat and that made him nervous. How is he supposed to know what is best? How is he supposed to know what might be asking for too much? Peter tried to be safe by asking a question as an answer, “What is your favourite food?”

Tony smiled, but also read between the lines, he knew Peter was avoiding picking. Still he had made huge strides today with socialising and didn’t want to overwhelm the boy, so he went with the conversation. “Cheeseburgers.” He answered simply in a soft tone.

“Can I try that?” Peter asked, hoping Mr. Stark would be okay with that so he didn’t have to come up with something else.

“Sure kiddo. FRI? Please order four cheeseburgers and a load of fries, you know the place.” Tony said; he ordered from a particular diner so much he didn’t even need to say the name for FRIDAY to know where to put the order in. He also ordered four because of Peter’s metabolism. Tony would have one and Peter would eat the other three.

“Done. Order will arrive in thirty minutes Boss.” FRIDAY replied.

“Thank you” Both Tony and Peter said at the same time.

After that Peter went back to reading and Tony went back to the work he had been putting off. Thirty minutes later, almost on the dot, FRIDAY’s voice filled the room once more, “The food has arrived and has been placed in the elevator.” After she finished they both heard a ding signifying the elevator was on their floor.

“I’ll grab it,” Tony stated, and kept talking as he walked, “do you want to eat on the couch or at the table?”

Peter thought about it even though he didn’t want to be the one to make the decision. When he went on missions for Hydra his target's location always varied. Sometimes they were outside at a park, sometimes at their jobs in an office building, and sometimes they were at home. Some of his targets had families. He didn’t always remember his missions, but something that was a constant with the ones that he had to kill in their homes, was they would be sitting down with their family for dinner. It seemed so domestic and wholesome, that is of course before he had to go in and ruin it by completing his mission. But he didn’t want to think about that part, he’ll never forgive himself for that part.

But this brings him back to the idea of eating with Mr. Stark at the table. As much as he wants to have a family he knows Mr. Stark probably doesn’t think of him that way. How could he? They only met a week ago, wow had it really only been that long? So there is no way Mr. Stark feels as strongly towards him as feels towards the man. And yes he has his own room now, but he assumes it more to keep an eye on him and his powers. The other kindness was probably because he was still healing, but now he is healthy again and doesn’t need it as much.

It’s odd, one second his brain decides that maybe he can be happy, maybe he can have a family. Even a somewhat dysfunctional one with the Avengers. But then the next moment his brain reminds him that that’s not possible. He’s more of an experiment and a soldier than a person. No one would want him as a son. One second he believes everything Mr. Stark has done for him is only to keep track of him and his powers, and that he is a prisoner here. He hasn’t been outside except the balcony, so is he wrong? Either way, this prison is worlds better than Hydra’s. But the next second he thinks that maybe Mr. Stark did and is doing all these kind things because he cares about him. Maybe even has the potential for loving him. His brain is confusing him and telling him two completely opposite things and he doesn’t know which one to believe.

He realised he spaced out when he heard the familiar voice of Mr. Stark, “-eter? Can you hear me?”

How long had Mr. Stark been calling him? He finally looks at the man. He looks concerned. Why would he look concerned if he didn’t care? One side of his brain asks him and maybe he should listen to it. “There you are,” Mr. Stark says in a soft worried voice, “lost you there for a minute. Do you want to talk about what you were thinking about?”

Peter’s listening to Mr. Stark, but the warring voices in his head, like always, are still going. He doesn’t think about what he is saying until it is too late, “Family.”

Tony is on the other side of the couch. When he saw Peter’s vacant stare he tried to get his attention, but didn’t make physical contact. He didn’t, and still doesn’t quite know where he was, mentally that is. If he was in a flashback about hydra, which was sadly very very possible, physical contact could have been taken as hostile and unwanted. So Tony kept trying to get his attention from a safe distance away. Safe for both him and Peter’s sake. “About your family before?” He ended the sentence with the word ‘before’ so he didn't have to say Hydra. It was pretty self explanatory anyways.

Peter’s already opened up the conversation, so he answers honestly, “No.”

“Okay,” Tony says as he treads carefully, he doesn’t want to make any assumptions. “What about family?”

Peter also treads lightly. He doesn’t want to assume either, so he answers with a question of his own, “Who is your family?”

“Well, it depends on the definition of family.” Peter is confused by that statement, so Tony explains. “Well legally my family was my mother and father. But that’s not who I count as family.”

“Who do you count as family then?” Peter asks, his eyes are on his book but of course he’s not reading it right now.

“My father was not a nice person, and although the world sees him as my family, I don’t. Legally he is, but family in my opinion is people who love and support you.” He pauses, “When I was young my family was my mother and Jarvis.”

“Who is Jarvis?” Peter asks in a small voice, he doesn’t want to pry, but is too curious not to ask.

Tony smiles genuinely, but also sadly since he misses him, “Jarvis was our family butler, but he was so much more than that. Jarvis was more of a father to me than Howard ever was.” Peter still looks a bit confused, “Family doesn’t end in blood.” Tony explains.

“Who do you consider your family now?” Peter knows he won’t be on the list, but he can’t help but hope. Can’t help but pray that that part of his brain is right.

“Well, I have lots of family now. Sometimes more than I think I deserve. My closest family is Rhodey and Happy. Both are my best friends and I also consider them my brothers. You haven't met Happy, he can be rough around the edges and grumpy, despite his name. But if you want to meet him, I am sure he would want to meet you, don’t let his demeanour rattle you. He’s actually a really nice guy. He just has to look tough since he is also my bodyguard.” Tony smiles fondly and Peter nods along. “And then there is the team. I consider them family as well. And-” he cuts himself off, he wants to say that Peter is more then welcom to be part of that family. God knows he already considers Peter as part of it, why else would he introduce Peter to the rest and make him his own room, but he also doesn’t know what Peter wants. He changes the trajectory of the conversation. “Who would you consider yours?” He hopes Peter says him, but still reminds himself that it has only been a week. Although it has only been a week he has never felt so strongly about a person, so strongly that he wants to consider them as part of his family after such a short time.

The other side of Peter’s brain starts to take over, the one that tries to convince him he is alone. The one that tries to make him believe that he could never be loved and to not kid himself. “I don’t have anyone.” He says in despair.

That sentence breaks Tony’s heart. He goes for it, “You do Peter. If you want us that is.” Peter looks at him with sad confused innocent eyes. “We’re unconventional, but we’re loyal. We-” Who is he kidding? “I want you as my family if that’s what you want.”

“Why?” Peter wants to be a part of a family. He wants to be part of Mr. Stark’s family, but his thoughts are still at war.

“Why what?” Tony says, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Why would you want me?”

Tony didn't know it was possible for his heart to break any further, but it just did. “Peter,” Peter is looking down again at his book, “can you look at me?” Peter hesitantly looks up. “Peter, I would be lucky if you let me be your family. You are brave, strong, caring, smart, kind, and so much more. No matter what has happened in your past you still fight to be better than those who hurt you. You are the best of us Peter.” The next part comes out before Tony can think it though, “I would be proud and honoured if I ever got to call you my son.” Peter looked shocked, but not offended, He had tears in his eyes. The part of his brain that had been fighting for this moment is finally taking fully over. He can have a family and he can be loved. He launches himself from his end of the couch to Mr. Stark’s.

Tony is surprised for a moment, but comes back in time to catch Peter. They both have a tight grip on eachother, Peter being mindful of his super strength, but still holding on tight. “Thank you.” Peter whispers. Those two words encompass so much. Thank you for letting me be part of your family. Thank you for saving me, both from Hydra and the warring sides of his brain. And thank you for showing me I can be loved.

Tony doesn’t have words, one because there is no reason Peter should be thanking him, or at least he doesn’t think there is. And also because there are no words strong enough to explain how he is feeling. Except maybe Love, but he doesn’t want to overwhelm Peter by saying that in case it’s too much. So instead he just hugs him a little tighter and kisses the top of Peter's curls.

They stay like that for a few minutes until Tony reluctantly breaks the comfortable silence. His cheek is pressed against the top of Peter’s head as he says, “I hate to ruin the moment, but the food is getting cold.” Peter pulls away at that, and Tony almost wants to say, forget about the food, and just pull Peter back into the hug. But he doesn't, he needs Peter to eat since he is still getting his strength up and his super metabolism is probably begging Peter to eat. “So, did you want to eat here or at the table?” Tony asks unaware that this is the same question that led to Peter spacing out and the conversation about family.

Now that Peter knows he is counted in Mr. Stark's family wants to do what family’s, or at least the ones he has seen, do. “I want to sit at the table.” He said confidently, one of the only times ever he has answered a question without second guessing himself.

“Sounds good, you need help.” Peter shakes his head. He pushes himself off the couch. Getting up and walking is getting pretty easy, and he is overjoyed by that. Tony also sees that it takes Peter way less effort than it did.

They both make their way to the dining table that Tony almost never uses. Tony puts the bag down as Peter takes a seat. Tony then goes over to the kitchen to grab two plates and two glasses of ice water. He holds one glass while balancing the other on top of the two stacked plates precariously. Once he walks into the dining room again he says, “Want to grab this glass for me bud?” Peter looks up to see the balancing act Tony is currently putting on and giggles. He grabs the glass on the plates and puts it down in front of him. “Thanks.” Tony says as he sits across from Peter and puts the glass in his hand in front of him along with one of the plates and puts the other plate in front of Peter. He then opens the bag and puts one foil wrapped burger in front of Peter and one on his own plate. Then he takes one of the packages of fries and puts them on Peter’s plate and then does the same to his own. “There are two more burgers and a bunch more fries for you after you finish that plate.” Tony states like it’s no big deal, even though to Peter it means so much.

Not only does he get the bare minimum for his metabolism, and not only is the food beyond tasty, he assumes, since everything here has been so far, but he actually will get enough to make him satisfied. He won’t have to worry and wait until he next gets fed because he barely got enough. He doesn’t have to suffer through the bland or gross tasting food of Hydra or no taste at all, after the muzzle and the tube were put in. He can have three full servings! He can eat until he is actually full! “Thank you.” He says.

Tony smiles at him, “No problem kiddo, now eat up.” He starts to take the foil off his burger and Peter copies. Tony’s of course had bacon in it and Peter without thinking about it rolls his eyes. Tony sees this, “What?”

Peter realises what he did, but after he did it earlier and Tony wasn’t mad he isn't afraid of getting punished. Especially after this conversation not ten minutes ago. “Helen doesn’t want you to have bacon.” He stated plainly.

Normally Tony would be frustrated or annoyed by someone pointing this out. But this is Peter, he is actually happy Peter did. It means he is comfortable enough to bring up his concerns, even if this one is about Tony and not himself. Sometimes it is easier to be concerned or take care of others than yourself. Case and point, Tony is not taking care of himself. He got Peter extra food so he would be taken care of, but Tony is eating bacon which is bad for him. Together they will work towards Peter caring for himself and honestly Tony caring for himself as well. “You're right, but I break the rules sometimes.”

Breaking the rules is a forign concept to Peter. If he broke rules there were really bad consequences, the Muzzle or being just a lab rat for instance. “Twice in one day?” Peter asks.

Tony laughs, “Okay that’s fair. How about this? This will be my last piece of bacon for a while, deal?”

Peter looks at him sceptically. He really doesn’t want anything to happen to Mr. Stark, he doesn’t know too much about his heart issues, but the heart is so vital for keeping a person alive. He doesn’t want to lose Tony, even if that is irrational. “Promise?”

Tony sighs, he does love bacon, but he cares for the kid more. He won’t break his promise, “I promise.” Peter nods, happy with that answer and goes back to eating. “How is the cheese burger?”

“Amazing!” Peter says, mouth stuffed with food. Tony can only laugh.

They sit in silence eating for a while. When Peter starts on his third burger he breaks the silence. Now that he knows the others on the team are family, or can be family one day, he wants to get to know them more. Just knowing he could have a family makes him feel a burst of confidence, people actually want him. “Can I train with the team?”

Tony looks surprised but delighted, “Sure bud, but-” He doesn’t want to scare Peter, but “can Helen check your progress first? It would make me feel better to hear from a professional,” he stayed away from the word doctor, “that you're strong enough to train.”

Peter knows Helen is safe, but there is still some underlying fear there. But if it makes Mr. Stark ‘feel better,’ then he will see her. “Sure.” Tony smiles thankfully at him.

“Can I have her come up after lunch?” Tony asked.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Peter would rather it sooner than later so he doesn’t have to sit with his anxiety for longer than needed.

“FRI? Have Helen come up after we finish lunch please.”

“Will do boss.” FRIDAY replied.

Peter finished his third burger and a handful more fries before he pushed his plate slightly away as a signal that he was finished. Tony took his and Peter’s plate to the kitchen, even though Peter tried to protest and clear his own plate. Not a minute later they both heard a ding from the elevator and Helen came down the hall.

“Good afternoon Peter,” Helen said with her usual smile. She stayed a few feet away from Peter. Then she turned to Tony and gave him a nod, “Tony.”

“Afternoon Helen,” Tony replied, “Peter was just telling me he wanted to start training with the team, but I thought it best to get your opinion on if Peter is physically ready.”

She gave a nod of understanding, “Do you think you're ready Peter?” She asked, turning her full attention to him.

Peter wasn’t completely sure, but needed to feel more free. Mr. Stark's floor is great, but he hates being confined. It’s nothing like Hydra where he was confined to a small cell or a table, but it is still restricting. “Yes, I’m ready.” He had talked directly to Helen only one or twice in the past, but those times held no confidence. This time he didn’t whisper the words and he didn’t cower behind Tony, he felt self-reliant for once.

“That’s great.” She didn’t show it, but under her professional mask she was overjoyed Peter was actually speaking to her. “May I see you walk?”

Peter stood up from the dining table and walked, not over to her, because that still would have been too much, but across the room and back. He didn’t stumble once. When he finished he stood next to Mr. Stark, who had been watching him fondly and proudly from the entryway to the kitchen.

Helen smiled, “You’ve made tremendous progress Peter.” She was a bit surprised how steady he was on his feet after not being able to walk for a year and after the procedure, but chalked it up to his super healing. “I think it would be fine for you to start training with the team tomorrow, as long as you take it easy for the first couple sessions.”

Peter beamed and then turned to Mr. Stark, “So I can go?”

Tony smiled fondly at him, “Yes, you can go.”