Chapter 5
Leaving the bathroom you entered a room that was already dark. The only way you even knew there was someone else in the room was the soft rustling of sheets, noises of someone trying to get comfortable. You just wordlessly went to your own bed on the opposite side of the room and tried to do the same.
The night wasn’t too bad, you think everyone was too exhausted to do anything but sleep, keeping your bodies from giving out on you. You woke up to the sun and an empty room. You got up and out of bed, it was like 7:30 so not two early. Throwing on real people clothes you went out to investigate the rest of the house and the guests within it. Sam was at the counter eating cereal and an apple, throwing up a hand and slightly covering his mouth as he finished swallowing. “Good morning” you greeted as you walked behind the kitchen counter. “You too,” he responded, moving a bowl of fruit closer to you in offering. You gladly took one before leaning on the counter, holding yourself up on my elbows. “Do you know where the rest of the crew is?” You asked Sam. He nodded down the hall “I think Wanda is still sleeping, and I think Robocop went out for a run, he was leaving when I came into the kitchen.”
Sitting crisscrossed on the couch with a pillow in your lap holding a tablet, you watched the news and what people were saying about life after everyone was brought back. It was chaotic for sure, housing, jobs, money, space, all of the world was once again shaken and thrown off its axis.
You heard footsteps before Bucky opened the door, sweaty and kinda gross. “Sam said you were going for a run, that was four hours ago. Did you get lost or something?” You called after him as he walked down the hall towards the bathroom. “Nah, just took the scenic route.” He yelled back over his shoulder as the bathroom door closed and the shower was turned on.
Dinner was basically just leftovers. You all ate in the same room, but not quite together. The feeling of the loss and what the new normal looked beginning to set in once again. No one seemed to rushed to leave the cabin and the bubble we created here.
There was another night of quietly going to bed.
Until it wasn’t quiet, around 2:00am you woke to muffled screaming as the person across the room thrashed around desperately in an unconscious fit. You walked over to the other side of the dark room, using the moonlight to see. Getting closer to the bed “Bucky you’re dreaming come on try to wake up.” That obviously wasn’t working, okay. You placed a had on his shoulder and began to shake it lightly “Come on Bucky, it’s a nightmare, you gotta wake-'' A hand came flying at you, you quickly wrapped an orange rope around the wrist freezing it in place before looking into the scared and wild eyes of your potential attacker. He was desperately trying to talk through panting. “What’s going… why did you.. I could have hurt…” none of the sentences could be completed through the frantic breaths. “Hey, hey, look at me. You’re in the cabin at the safe house, you’re all good, you were having a nightmare.” I tried to sooth, letting his hand out of its hold, and watching it drop to his side. His breathing slowed as you placed your hand back on his shoulder and crouched by the bed to be more at eye level as he propped himself up on his elbow.
“Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?” you looked at him, not really expecting too much of a response. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, like he didn’t know what to say, or if he wanted to say it. “I don’t know” is what he finally landed on looking defeated, before dropping his head forward, his forehead inadvertently falling onto your shoulder. “And that’s okay” you accepted, wrapping a careful hand around the back of his head, stroking his hair.
His breathing had slowed, but had become more ragged as the tears came. You moved Your shoulder a little to get him to lift his head and look at you. “Hey Mr. Super Soldier, you’re heavy and I don’t have the same arm strength that you do.” He opened his mouth to begin an apology but you held up a hand and cut him off before he could get the words out. “So, move over. You need a shoulder to cry on, I’ve got two, but I also have back pain, so I’d rather sit or lie down normally.” You joked, with a gentle smile. He nodded once again, with not quite a smile, but the whisper of one, before wiggling over.
You climbed onto the bed, mostly laying down but still slightly propped up by pillows. He moved back to gently rest his head on your shoulder, but you lifted your arm up and pulled him in so that instead his head fell into the dip of your shoulder. With the arms wrapped around him, you slowly ran your fingers through his hair, until tearful breaths turned into the deep and slow breaths of sleep.
The sun woke me up and you could feel the one side of you body that was significantly heavier. He seemed to still be sleeping soundly, even as you carefully maneuvered your way out from underneath him. You threw a sweatshirt on before giving him another look to make sure he was still sleeping then closing the door quietly behind you before stepping into the kitchen. Once again Sam was sitting at the counter eating breakfast, we exchanged good mornings as you began to make coffee. you tried to stay away from caffeine, but it had been a long night. As it finished and you filled a mug, you also realized that there wasn’t sugar or anything to sweeten the coffee. Damnit. Then you heard shuffling feet coming towards the kitchen, as Bucky made his way into the doorway you turned away from searching the cabinets for sugar and quickly placed the mug in his hands as you turned and walked past to reach for a box of granola bars. Because we can have those but not sugar!
Then your attention turned to Sam who sat at the counter with wide eyes and a furrowed brow. “Are you two sharing a room? Is there… something…” He stammered pointing between the two of you. You opened your eyes wide and innocent, batting your eyelashes at him as you spoke. “Well Sam, there’s a reason I’m everyone’s favorite secretary.” throwing a wink at the end. Then his eyes went huge and his jaw actually dropped. Behind me you heard a sputter as Bucky started choking on the coffee he’d only just begun to take a sip of. “I’m fucking kidding dumbass” You scoffed at Sam throwing the wrapper from my granola bar at him. “He’s not quite acclimated and I figured it would be beneficial to have someone there incase of nightmares or anything like that.” You explained slowly.
“Because you’re a wizard?” Sam cocked his head towards me. “Yes Sam because I’m a wizard” you rolled my eyes. He really fixated on the whole magic thing.
“I need to go for a walk or something” Sam waved us off before slipping shoes on and heading out the door.
You turned back to Bucky who was only a little pink by now. “Sorry to make a joke at your expense, I just wanted to mess with Sam.”
“Its okay, it was kinda funny to see the look on his face.” he smiled back at me.
You got dressed then headed out to the small clearing that was next to a gurgling creek, littered with wildflowers, and in the clearing sat Wanda. “Hey, mind if I sit?” You asked as you walked up next to her. With a silent invitation she gestured towards the ground. So you sat together looking at the water for a while. “I have to see him, see the body.” Wanda broke the silence, her voice quivering. “Give me a day, I’ll find out where they’re keeping the remains” you promised her before returning to silence. After a while you stood up and placed a hand on her shoulder before leaving her back to her meditation.
Wanda was only going to stay one more night. “I found where they have him, if you still want to see him one last time” you told her, placing a piece of paper in her hands. “Thank you, I am going to leave in the morning.” You nodded at her words then pulled her into a hug “Keep in touch okay, because I will find you okay, I’m not losing anyone else” You squeezed her a little tighter before stepping back. A smile back up at you assured you a little, as she retreated to her room to pack, planning to leave early in the morning.
You made your way into a small room in the back of the cabin. Thor’s smile lit up on the screen in your hands.
“Just a check in, how are you guys doing?” He smiled back at me “Good Good, We are on many valiant missions and have seen success.” Raising a fist into the air. After a breathy laugh, you asked to be handed off to Nebula “Can you send me the reports? Just anything major, that we both met check-in and that everyone is okay?” She nodded curtly, “Of course.” Her gravelly voice responded. “Thank you” you closed your eyes as the line went dead. Then you moved on to Rhodey, then T’Challa and Okoye, then Pepper, then Clint.
Mostly just check-ins, you all got blindsided because you were separated, you don’t want to be caught off guard like that again.
You returned to the kitchen to find a small plate of food Sam and/or Bucky left out for you. It was microwave waffles, but it meant the world all the same.
You made my way back to your bed, very much tired and at the same time relieved. You were glad everyone got on board with doing the regular bi-weekly check-ins. It took a major weight off of your shoulders, yet added fear all the same, because what if someone missed one.
You tried to quiet my thoughts, not pull away from the hauntings to those we lost. So you could at least sleep, maybe not peacefully, but sleep nonetheless.
Your sleep was interrupted by a sobbing figure across the room. you approached with caution, reaching out slowly to shake a shoulder in hopes of waking him, but already having a fist ready with a shield of orange in front of it. He once again startled awake, with wild eyes, and a confused look, tense and ready to attack. “It’s just me, you’re safe, we’re in the cabin. You were having a nightmare” you once again reassured him as he relaxed. You could see the tears prick his eyes. You tried to give him a gentle questioning look. He shook his head but did move over, you took this silent plea and layed down next to him. Turning on your side to face him, opening my arms slightly. He allowed you to pull him in and place his forehead between your collarbones. He curled into you and again it was hard to believe such a large man could be so small. This could not be the murder and hold the heavy reputation of the Winter Solider. Never have you had someone wrap their arms around you so gently. “You’re safe” you whispered again before you fell asleep.