Chapter 4
The same thing couldn't be said about Sirius's last day...
He came back home. When Regulus saw his for the first time he got scared. His brother was thin and pale his hair was long and looked as if it hadn't been brushed in months. He was shaking most of the time, yet he still smiled when he spoke to Regulus. Luckily, house elves or their parents nowhere to be seen. They were probably doing gods-know-what with 'the Dark Lord'... that name always seemed a bit funny to Sirius. He knew about his parent's 'shenanigans' with him and his 'friends'. He never told anyone. Not even James. He was taught to be silent.
He spend the day telling Regulus about his adventures in Hogwarts, he didn't get to fill him during the summer, so he must catch up now. His brother was always too scared to talk to him in school. He was scared their mother would find out. Regulus never wanted his Mother to get angry with him or Sirius.
Everything they did was always thought through to not get their mother angry -at least that was the case for Regulus. The younger brother found out from his older brother that Sirius didn't care about that anymore. Sirius once told Regulus a secret.
"It is always the same, Reggie. I am so sorry I left you alone..." Sirius smiled and his eyes teared up. "She hurts us no matter what. So it is better to enjoy the moments we can. James taught me that, I mean- I never really told him about... mum, he doesn't know anything about that, but he is always helpful, he keeps me hopeful and exited for more days to come. That's why I keep going Reggie, for him, and for you. As long as I got the two of you and Pete and” he paused “Remus. I can keep going. Besides -"
Regulus never understood why or what his brother really told him. Regulus never understood why his brother was crying while telling him. Until that evening.
The day was amazing, their parents nowhere to be seen, the brothers enjoyed every second of sunlight they could. It was almost like from a movies Sirius head about from Remus. Minutes before their Mother came home the sky became gray and they heard a thunder from a distance. The brother ran home - giggling because they didn't quite escape the rain. And then out of nowhere they heard their mother.
"I've heard some disgusting rumors about you, Sirius," she said, her voice icy and full of menace, unphased by Sirius's appearance maybe she didn't even noticed he was gone?
Sirius felt a cold sweat break out on his forehead. A lightning struck. He had no idea what his mother was talking about, but he knew that it couldn't be good.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Mother," he stammered, trying to keep his voice steady.
"Don't lie to me, Sirius," she hissed. "I know that you've been consorting with Mudbloods and half-bloods in school and NOW even with MUGGLES. You're bringing shame on our family." Sirius tried to protest but she didn't let him. "I won't tolerate this behavior, Sirius," she said. "If you continue down this path, you'll be disowned. You'll be cast out of the family, and you'll have no home to return to."
Sirius felt a wave of panic wash over him, just like he always did. He didn't let the fear win. He didn't want to have his day ruined by that old hag.
"Mother, I can't stand to hear your hateful words anymore," he said, his voice shaking with anger. "You're wrong to treat people the way you do, just because they're not pureblood like us. Besides, I have no home here."
His mother looked at him with cold, calculating eyes. "Looks to me you lost your manners, must be all that time spend with Muggels and mudbloods" her eyes were filled with judgement... "You're a foolish boy, Sirius," she snorted. "You don't understand the importance of maintaining our family's bloodline."
"I understand perfectly well," Sirius spat back. That was his biggest mistake it didn't take a seconds before his mother lifted her wand and muttered a curse. The next thing Sirius knew, he was lying on the ground, his body wracked with pain. His mother stood over him, her face twisted with rage.
"You will never defy me again, Sirius," she snarled. "You do as I say from now on. Are we clear?"
"N-o." Sirius was in a horrible pain, a pain he experienced before, so intense, so all-consuming, that he no longer knew where he was... like needles were piercing every inch of his skin, his head was surely going to burst with pain -he was screaming more loudly than he'd ever screamed in his life, and yet the only thing he could think of was Reggie- he can't let his brother see him like this, he must get away. He can't see this. However it was too late. His brother saw every second of it. He saw Sirius struggling to not loose his mind, his body in agony. His cries mixing with the sounds of heavy rain.
She stopped after a while. She couldn't let one of her sons go mad after-all that would damage the family reputation. She bend down to Sirius, took him by the collar of his shirt and whispered in his ear, "And that was me being nice." And with that, the torture began again. Sirius screamed and writhed, but he refused to give in. He refused to let his friends down. He had been under the curse for what felt like hours, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could he hold on.
The curse lifted, he was panting and gasping for air.
Is this how Remus feels every full moon? Please, don't do this to Reggie, leave him out of this mother.
The last thing he saw was Regulus's worried face.
The last thing Sirius felt was Reggie trying to help him stand up.
The last thing the heard was his brother's cries.
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When he woke up, hours later, in the middle of the night, he found himself in his bed. Reggie was sleeping next to him. Peacefully breathing, Sirius smiled. She didn't hurt Reggie. His brother is alright. Sirius stood up, it hurt, he was weak. Walking into the bathroom he heard Reggie shuffling in his bed.
"Sirius?" Regulus whispered sleeply.
"I'm here Reggie, don't worry. I am just going in the bathroom."
Regulus made a sound as if he was approving of his brother trip before he jumped out with realization, "WAIT SIRIUS NO!"
It was too late, Sirius switched on the lights and saw himself in the mirror. His body was covered in bright pink scars, most of them were still bleeding. His torso, arms even legs, there wasn't a part of his body that wasn't wounded. Oh no- there was. His face his mother didn't touch his face. His face still look perfect, without a single scratch - the beautiful facade his mother was so eager to keep up, the perfect family, the perfect two sons. The legacy of the Black family. Fuck that. He took a razor from his cabinet.
"And this one is for a fucking revenge." He slowly moved the razor to his right cheek and slowly pushed down. It didn't bring him joy. Just satisfaction. He couldn't help but grin a little. As blood was running down his cheek, he continued to move horizontally, there was a metal taste in his mouth. How familiar. He was used to beatings, and being cursed. But this was his last straw. He was lucky he didn't go mad while he was under the spell, but he for sure as hell wasn't far from it now. He was determinate, he is never coming back to this house. The injury was now about as long as his fingers, it went all the way to his ear. The bottom part of the right side of his face was now covered in blood.
"Sirius what are you doing?" Reggie said with a terrified look on his face.
"Fuck, sorry Reggie, you weren't supposed to see this. I am so sorry. Please. Please forgive me." Sirius begged as he tried to wipe the blood away.
"Fuck, let me heal it, i tried to heal the wounds from the curse but I-I-- couldn't. I can fix this." Regulus was searching for his wand.
"No, please don't Reggie. Don't even try. I want them to stay." Sirius casted a spell on his wounds. Regulus didn't know what he casted, but he didn't want to know. He knew his brother had it much worse than him. Ever since he didn't get placed into Slytherin their mother always took her anger out on him. It wasn't fair.
"I am so sorry Sirius."
"No, I am the one who should be sorry, Reggie. Screw it, I look worse than Moony." Sirius mumbled into his brother's shoulder. Regulus had no idea what what that supposed to mean, he decided to let it be.
The brothers, cried, hugged, just as the clock turned to midnight. It was officially 1st of September. And this was officially the worst day of their lives.
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