Chapter 1
A small ray of sunlight creeped through the blinds, the silver lighting up Charles Xavier’s tired features. He grimaced into the light as he craned his head away from the ray and into his pillow.
He was plagued by a migraine - not to mention that it was the third this week. They were rarely this bad, at least not since…. He took a shaky breath. The man had no desire to get out of his bed, but he didn’t need his telepathy to know that Hank was coming. The young man’s soft footsteps echoed through the empty mansion, bouncing off of the peeling walls and dusty floors.
Charles tightened his grip on his pillow. This head was reeling - maybe taking more medicine would help, maybe he needed to lay here and decompose, but above all he definitely needed to get out of his head. To get his sister and his lost friends and E…. All of them, out of his head. If anything, he needed more alcohol, anything to bore the images out of his head, the feelings and the pain. He slowly peeled one eye open and glanced over at his bedside, past the picture of Raven and to the clock. It was 9 am. 9 am and he already wanted a lobotomy.
The footsteps came closer, along with the voices. He heard Hank's voice, but he didn't hear him. “No…” he groaned, turning his face back into his pillow. Hank's voice was fast, anxious, as usual, and overwhelming.
The door quietly creaked open, but the quiet echoed through Charles' brain, causing him to curl in on himself even more.
‘Oh god.’ Hank thought in his typical panicked tone, though he sounded as if he was underwater. Charles dared to peak up at him again, and his eye caught the syringe in his hand.
He needed it.
He sat up, despite the pain, and grabbed it out of Hank's hand.
The taller man was expecting as much, and as usual he stood there, waiting for Charles to finish so he could take him down stairs.
The cool metal against his skin was a feeling that Charles had grown comfortable with, but the worry on Hank's face was not. It was always contorted into a frown these days, and though Charles had no strength, couldn't bring himself to do anything, some part of him was screaming to give him help, to fix what had happened. But who would be there to help him?
“Charles…”
“My legs work just fine, I’ll be down in a minute.”
“No that…. We have a visitor.” he said, twiddling his thumbs - a nervous habit that he had picked up from Darwin.
His face was pale - Charles should have recognized it sooner, Hank looked terrified. Charles swung his legs over the bed and stumbled out of the room, not bothering to wait for Hank. It wasn't until he got to the bottom of the stairs that he saw the woman lingering in the doorway - the face that matched the one on his nightstand.
It was Raven.
-
The mansion looked no different even after all these years. Seeing it from the outside now, after living in Massachusetts for so long, Charles felt something warm build up inside him. He was finally home.
“I don't know how you did it, living in such hardship.”
“Luckily, he had me to soften it.”
Raven placed a kiss on her brother's cheek and he pulled her close, smiling up at his old friend. It was hard to believe they hadn't been home for nearly five years, but now they would get to share this home with their true family and use its assets to train for good.
Yes, good. Everything about this was good. The way he felt with his friends by his side, the way he felt looking up at the man beside him, and the feeling he had about this mission.
Everything about those two weeks were good.
But, as per usual, there were the drawbacks. Cerebro was a wonderful success, but it gave him horrible migraines. Luckily, his old friend and his sister were kind enough to take care of him in times like that, to bring him water and sit with him - whatever he needed.
But that was three years ago. Now, Charles was staring at his sister, a hardened face turned scared once she saw the state of her brother.
His hair was long and unruly, cutting off his chin that was covered by an unkept beard. His eyes were dim - or just darkened by his eyebags. Maybe both.
Raven wasn't much better. She didn't hold herself with that typical confidence - she was unsure, discouraged and just as tired. The two stared at each other for a moment before Hank cleared his throat, and all Raven could do was stumble forward and embrace Charles.
-
Raven had never felt beautiful - not now; tears in her eyes, staring up at Hank. A man who was holding a small syringe, identical to the one in her hand. A man who was looking up at her with a trying smile, who had just confirmed that she would never be beautiful unless she continued to hide.
Not in the past - when she was forced to hide, when Charles would avoid questions about her looks, when she stared at herself in the mirror and only saw a monster.
No, the only person who ever saw her as beautiful the way she was, was Erik. She would kill to be able to see herself through his eyes - the way he claims to know her.
And maybe that's what drove her to show up in his room, to desire his company.
"This is a surprise." he said once he entered his room, raising his eyebrows only slightly before dropping them back into his resting face.
"The good kind?" she asked, shifting under the blankets. If she had to chase the feeling he gave her, then so be it. After all, he liked her, right?
But he just sighed as he walked past her to get himself a drink.
He knew what happened, he could see it from a mile away. Hank hurt her, didn't he?
"Go to bed Raven, I’m tired." he said, and once he heard the shift of her scales he turned back to face her. She aged herself up - her cheekbones and jawline were more defined, and her hair fell below her shoulders. She shifted to an age that was older than Eric - it was cute that she thought he'd be into that.
"I prefer the real Raven."
She shifted back to her younger human form, now confused and looking up at the man. But that's not what he meant.
"I said, the real Raven."
She then slowly transformed back into her true form - her scales shifting around until her skin was a deep blue and her eyes were a bright yellow. She quietly asked for her robe, still ashamed.
Another sigh, and Erik sat down on the bed next to her. She truly was a beautiful creature in this form - it wasn't fair that she had to go her whole life thinking that she wasn't.
"Have you ever looked at a tiger, and thought you ought to cover it up?" He asked, looking over her face. His eyes settled on hers. It was strange how he cared for her - he had never been so protective over someone like this, like he could be a part of family again. It was different when he looked at Charles, but he wasn't ready to think about that right now.
"Well... no." she responded with a shy smile, shifting her eyes down to the sheets.
"You’re beautiful like this Raven. No matter what anyone else says. '' he said quietly before adding, “But that's what you want, not me. Just my approval."
Raven opened her mouth to protest, but realized that it was no use. He was right, and she’d known it this whole time. She needed that validation that he gave her, the sense of belonging that only he seemed to think she deserved.
And when she left with Erik she let herself be free. She let herself live her truth, do what she wanted and feel how she wanted. It was then she felt she truly belonged, but now her blonde hair hung in front of her brother's face, her pale hands squeezed his back as she held him as if this was the last time she would ever see him again.2323
And she was crying. Maybe it was her injuries, maybe it was because she had just lost more friends than she could imagine - or maybe it was the guilt she felt once seeing the state that Charles was in. The state that Hank was in. Could they have really been living like this for all three years she’d been gone?
Charles was crying. She hadn't heard him cry in so long - and never like this. She wanted to take everything back, she was selfish for leaving with Erik, naive to think that Charles would be ok all alone. But she was angry, where was Moira? How could Hank let him get to this point? And how….
“How are you walking?” she whispered, pulling away slightly to see her brother's face. He had calmed down, his choked sobs turned into silent tears. His eyes drifted up to Hank’s, and Raven’s followed.
“I-I created a cure for his spine. In turn it cancels out our mutations.” Hank said, fidgeting. Raven looked back at her brother.
“When was the last time you showered?” she asked, looking him up and down - if his hair wasn't enough to tell, he was a mess with his sweatpants and a tank top that probably haven't been washed in weeks, shaking arms and sore legs.
But he shook his head, tightening his grip on Raven’s shoulders.
“Why?” was all he could manage to say, but it spoke volumes. She would tell him to just look, she would have gratefully opened her mind to him - but that was useless now, wasn't it?
“I’ll tell you after you shower.” she said, pulling away. Chalres kept a grip on her arm, but it was weak. Raven couldn't get it through her head as she led him up the stairs - she had never seen him like this. He was broken, and she just prayed she had what it would take to help him.
-
“That man has spirit, and it’ll never waver.” was a thing Moira used to say with confidence. She used to say that with fire in her eyes, defending him to the CIA. She would say it with a whisp in her voice, she would think it with a song in her heart. Yes, Charles had definitely won her over from day one - but it wasn't those pick up lines, it was his smile. It was his intelligence and his eyes and his willingness to help anyone and everyone.
And Charles had that same confidence, that same fire and whisp and song all throughout, but it wasn't evoked by Moira. No, he gave her a warm smile, a warm touch and yes, he loved her greatly - but it was the way a friend would.
But that was alright. She adored him, and he adored her. Any love of his would be just fine, as long as she had it. And now, they are together. Charles was incredibly strong for everything he had just been through and she couldn't be more proud of him, she couldn't love him more.
And now? Well, she was right by his side, ready to begin the school, the X-Men, and make a true change in the world. Not the way that their old friend wanted, but a peaceful way. An efficient one.
“With us, anonymity will be our first line of defense.” he said, causing Moira to stop pushing his chair along the path and walk around to properly face him. She gave him the most reassuring smile she could, and placed her hand gently on his arm.
“Charles, they can question me all they want, I won't tell anyone where you are.”
“I know,” he said, resting his hand on the back of her head and pulling her close. He pressed their foreheads together - a common sign of physical affection he showed, and then apologized quietly.
But Moira didn't remember that part. She didn't remember the tear running down his cheek. In fact, she didn’t remember anything when she woke up, alone, in her bed.
She had vague memories; two men who she grew rather close with, a young girl with deep blue skin - but it all must've been a dream. And through the feeling of emptiness she found a warm feeling. One of hope, one of love and comfort. What a dream.
Charles could no longer find that feeling. That hope, that love. He tilted his head back slightly, letting the warm water run through his hair and over his face. It trickled over his eyelids, down his cheeks and into his beard. He was out of tears, out of anger. All he could feel was this numbness, this… emptiness. And confusion. Was that really Raven, after all of these years? Why did she come back now? Why?
A knock on the door was heard, but not registered.
Another knock.
He shut the water off and absentmindedly grabbed a towel as he heard the clack of shoes, walking away from the bathroom door.
Raven was waiting on the couch in Charles’ bedroom. She was sitting with Hank who immediately stood when Charles entered the room.
Hank always danced around him, treated him as if he was something delicate - something that would break if he just treated him like a normal person.
But Raven was never one for pity.
“C’mere.” she said, lifting her hands, encouraging his embrace.
He didn't want to touch her. He wanted to be petty, to be angry, but once he sat down next to her, and leaned into her touch, all of those feelings melted away. He didn't care about his pride, he didn't care that the both of them had made mistakes, all that he cared about was that she was here now and she still cared for him - she hasn't changed at all. She was just what he needed. Well, her and an explanation.
“What happened?” he asked flatly. He hardly recognized his own voice. It was strained, tired.
Raven ran a hand up and down his arm and took a deep breath. As much pain as it brought her, he deserved the full story.
-
The missiles were in the water, at the cost of Charles’ legs. At the cost of the man that he.... cared about. Deeply. his eyes cut into Erik, who couldn't stand to look at him. He was boiling in shame, fear and regret - Charles didn't need his powers to know that. but, Erik had to save face. Of course he did. He had to be strong, emotionless, and hard. Charles made his decision, his decision of peace. One that Erik couldn't comprehend.
Raven placed a small kiss on her brother's forehead. It was always them against the world, and it always would be - no matter how much Charles tried to be a part of it, no matter that Raven had to grow up and therefore grow away from him.
"Take care of him." She nodded to Moira before finally grabbing hold of Erik’s shaking hand.
That was the last time Raven saw Charles for three years.
Raven’s decision to go with Erik set her on a life of rebellion, of protests and crimes - all for the greater good of mutants. The group was small; it was her, Erik, and Riptide, Angel, Avery and Selene - Shaw's whole team saved the man himself.
But, that only lasted for those three years. Three years of living on the run, with only Erik who was willing to comfort her, to push her and support her, only Erik who held them together, and who stayed proud and determined despite the views of the others turning dark.
Only three years before Selene betrayed them. Why? Well, Raven still has no idea. But, she remembered waking up to a scream.
She rushed out of her room in their makeshift base to see Angel and Riptide on the floor, and Erik kneeling next to them, trying to stop Avery’s bleeding. The two laying down were lifeless - not just that, they looked soulless. And Avery had a stab wound - Raven knew that much, so she got what was left of the first aid kit and kneeled next to Erik, helping to patch her up.
There was no time for questions - not time for gaging or screaming. Raven took Avery and put her on a bed once she finished the stitches while Erik covered the other two.
“What now?” Raven asked, stone cold as she had grown to be as she washed her hands. “Where are Azael and Selene? are they ok?”
“Azazel fled. Selne is… she’s the one who did this.” Erik sighed, moving to stand next to her. “And now? You go home.”
“What?” she cried, turning to face him. There was not a hint of a joke in his body language. In fact, his face was painted with worry, regret. She had never seen him like this, so unsure of himself. Well, not in a long time. “No, I no- I can't I’ve-”
“Pull yourself together Raven. Go back to those who love you.” He ordered coldly, moving past her to the room that Avery was laid up in.
Raven left that night. No amount of convincing would get Erik to let her stay. And after Avery healed up, the two would separate and Erik would leave as well. It was the end of The Brotherhood, the end of Raven’s new life, the last time she might ever see Erik again.
She almost considered not coming home; living on the run, helping people. But she had always promised that she would help people with Charles by her side. If he turned her down, that was that. But if there was any chance that he might join her, that was a chance she would take.
-
Before Charles got out of the shower, Raven had some time to catch up with Hank.
“You aren't blue.” she said, looking him up and down. He didn't change at all over the years. His brown hair was still neatly combed back, with one dark curl resting on his forehead. He still had those crooked rectangular glasses and that nervous stance and habit of playing with his hands when he was nervous or didn't know what to say.
“Neither are you.” he quipped - and his face immediately showed regret at the comment. Raven only shrugged. She tends to switch back and forth, but thought it would be best if she came back home in her “normal” form. After all, she had no idea what to expect here.
“What happened to him?” she asked, and her voice came out shakier than she meant it to. It unsettled her to see him like this, and she prayed she wasn't the main cause.
“We started school about a month after you left.” she started, sitting on the couch next to her. “It was just me and him. Moira, Alex and Sean all left to be with their families so we were pretty understaffed and… well, most of the older students got drafted. We had to shut the school down after the first semester and well…” he sighed - he was avoiding eye contact up until this point, but now Hank locked eyes with her. “He lost everything, Raven. His students, his friends, you… Erik. It broke him.”
“And you give him the cure?”
“He takes it. Too much of it actually. I take just enough so that I can switch back any time, but he….”
He trailed off, but Raven knew.
-
Raven’s explanation made sense, but what Charles didn't get was how… he… gave up so easily. Though, Charles didn't want to think about him. In fact, he didn't know what to think. He couldn't deny the joy of having his sister back, and soon their stories turned into small talk, which turned into conversation. Even Hank joined in - and they spoke to each other like everything was ok. And maybe, after all of this, with Raven home, everything would be.