The Benefits of Hindsight

It was a gorgeous day at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. Spring finally seemed to shake off the chill of winter and the sun shone brightly with a slight breeze. A lot of the younger students were taking advantage of the weather to enjoy the play equipment that Tony had donated to the school. 

Peter and Harley were down there with them, and from Tony’s vantage, he could see Peter being able to cut loose in a way he couldn’t to most of the outside world. At the moment, he was currently going over a tunnel while Harley was forced to go through it. 

Tony, on the other hand, sat up closer to the school on a porch. Three cups of coffee sat at the table, his company being Xavier himself, and Logan. A comfortable silence had settled over them quite some time ago. For Tony’s part, he was desperately trying to soak up the last bit of calmness before the storm he knew was coming finally arrived. 

“Tony, even if I wasn’t a mind reader, I could tell there’s a lot on your mind.” Charles finally broke the silence. 

Leaning back in his chair, Tony let out a sigh. “The next year or so will be… there’s a lot. Not only happening, not only potential changes but a chance for people from my past... or is it my future, to finally cross paths with me. Things are already so different than they were at this point, but this is one of the times when I wonder if the benefits of hindsight outweigh the burdens.”

“You wonder if it’s okay to play God.” Logan looked over. “That some changes shouldn’t be your’s to make and yet they are.” 

“As someone who has been changed by similar circumstances, I feel it’s worth it.” Charles looked pensive, and Tony wondered what the full story was. He’d only gotten pieces of what Logan went to. Both of them preferred to acknowledge their similar pain and not share details. 

Logan looked at Tony. “You know what helps me sometimes?” 

He nodded to the kids playing. “They do. In the time I’m originally from, they’re all dead.”

Tony turned to see the kids playing. Harley and Peter were hanging upside down from the monkey bars. While Harley was in a more traditional position, Peter was sticking through his shoes. 

“Where I’m from, at least half of them were gone for five years.” Tony took a deep sip of coffee. “And when you put it that way, it’s so easy to think you’re doing the right thing.” 

“Why can’t you let yourself hold on to that?” Charles asked. 

“Because I can’t let go of things that haven’t happened, but did happen to me. The betrayal, the hurt, the long complicated history. For them, it was never a thing. But for me, I never really got closure. All I got was the burden of finishing the job only to turn around and restart from the beginning.” 

Tony didn’t often let himself go there. While his body was much younger, sometimes that very fact made him feel so very old. The occasional nightmare cropped up where Peter and Harley turned to dust. The forsaken planet where it had happened, the nightmare of a final battle they’d had. Afghanistan and Extremis…

A shield in his chest. 

“I’ve been back for a few years. And unlike you, I didn’t have to carry my burden for years. Once I fixed the point where the timeline went wrong, I was brought to the present with the changes in effect. But I remember that first year. And you just passed that milestone.”

Logan took a deep sip of his coffee. “The people you knew aren’t there, at least in the way you know. Some you’ll make new memories with. Others, your older memories make it too painful to get as close as you were.”

Hank walked down the school halls, students rushing around in between classes. He had plans to spend the day down in the bay with the ship, running maintenance. The added buzz of having Tony Stark in residence for the week was an interesting change of pace, but he was ready for some quiet. 

Nearing the elevator to take him below ground, he sensed he was being followed. Turning around, he found Tony’s boys. “Where are you two off to?”

“Around?” The boy with the sandy blonde hair, Harley if he remembered right, spoke up.

“Is that so?” 

“Are you going to work on the ship?” The younger one, Peter asked. 

“I was.” 

“Can we come?”

It was moments like these where it was hard to distinguish the young men who were suddenly much younger. Tony had best explained it as they have their memories and knowledge from the original timeline, but their brains hadn’t gone through the necessary changes to act on it. As a result, you got an odd mix of the two ages. 

“Has your dad taught you about lab safety?”

“In both timelines.” Peter nodded, very serious. 

Hank considered it for a moment. “Alright.” 

While he might have been looking for peace and quiet, he thought the two boys could make for a fun change of pace. 

The trio made their way to the elevator, the boys sending rapid-fire questions. He was barely able to answer one without the next coming. This continued all the way down to the X-Men section of the manor. 

They made their way down to the hangar where the ship sat. The boys’ line of questioning shifted to the ship and its systems. Hank grabbed the tools he needed, handing some to the boys to carry for him. (He could have done it all himself, but since they were here he might as well take advantage.)

The trio made their way into the ship while Hank stopped the questioning to provide a lecture on the ship’s systems. Occasionally a question popped in but Hank found it enjoyable. Not many people appreciated how the ship ran - they just wanted to make sure it did so. 

They headed into the cockpit, where a lot of the systems had if not their base then an access spot. The main reason for his visit was diagnostics. The pair made their way through the navigation system and the pressurization system and were working on the stealth system when Hank heard another set of footsteps. 

“There you two are!” He heard the voice of Tony Stark. He sounded between exasperated and relieved. “What did I say about wandering off?”

“But he’s working on the ship and we got to learn all about it! Aren’t you making sure we have the best education possible?”

Biting back a snort, Hank rolled out from where he’d been working and saw Tony somehow managing to look both fond and stern. Beside him, both boys were grinning, the very picture of innocence. 

“I’m sorry these two bothered your afternoon.” Tony looked over to Hank.

“They weren’t a bother.” Hank looked at the pair. Tony had a hand on both and they seemed to be eager for the attention. The attention that Tony seemed all too happy to give them. “You have an excellent pair of lab assistants there. You’ve taught them well.” 

“I tried to.”

“Mr. Hank was showing us the ship’s systems.” Harley looked up.

“It’s amazing technology, Dad! I bet there’s some stuff we could incorporate into the Quinjet designs.” 

“Easy boys.” Tony chuckled. “We’ll see if Hank and I can have a chat. But first, it’s time for dinner, and ignoring Pete’s metabolism for a moment, you’re both growing boys and shouldn’t miss a meal.”

Both boys groan and Hank decided to throw them a bone. “Maybe you can visit down here again sometimes.” 

They instantly brightened up and Tony led them down the hallway towards the elevator to go back upstairs. Both boys were talking a mile a minute, but Tony seemed to keep up just fine. 

After spending the weekend at Xavier’s school, it was Sunday afternoon and Tony had planned a lecture to wrap up the weekend. The Tony Stark that he’d been the first time would have either never agreed to do it or spent the entire time grandstanding. 

But, Tony had a different approach. Perhaps it was because he’d seen what would happen if the world didn’t accept these kids or these kids didn’t accept the world. Maybe it was because of Peter. Tony couldn’t deny that it could quite possibly be that he was just tired and wanted to make sure the next generation was ready to take over as soon as he took care of a certain space grape. 

Whatever the reason, Tony was going to talk about the strides they’d made in the medical field - particularly those that weren’t in the public eye yet. Tony and the rest of his time-displaced family were working on medicines for different metabolisms. Of course, Peter was the catalyst for this as they’d had to synthesize his drugs. But Steve would be defrosted soon and Thor could get hurt.

And once again, there were the mutants he completely overlooked last time. From his brief talk with the school nurse, there were several students who would benefit from specially built medications as over-the-counter didn’t quite cut it. 

Peter and Harley were out of his sight. They’d run off somewhere a bit ago and Tony told them to be here in time for the lecture and they still had a few minutes. As he looked out into the crowd, he realized that he might have to have them sit on the stage as it was quickly becoming standing-room only. 

The room filled, people crowding in every space they could find. 

Yet the boys were nowhere in sight. 

Tony looked around and saw it was time to start. 

Lecture now. 

Parent later.

The pair probably found something that distracted them. It took even less than it used to due to their decreased ages. Despite having the weekend to explore, Tony knew they were still poking into everything. 

On that note, might be time to add more security protocols to Jarvis and make sure those two didn’t accidentally start something Tony would have to finish. They wouldn’t do it intentionally. 

But as teenagers, they’d been eager and excited geniuses. Add that to the energy of seven-year-olds and you’ve got a recipe for trouble. 

And now they were missing. 

Well, not missing, Tony was being dramatic. At least he hoped he was. 

He looked out over the crowd who had started to look at something above him. Looking up, he let out a sigh that he’d learned only out of the experience of being a parent. 

A few feet away from the ceiling sat a hammock made out of familiar web fluid. And peeking out from the hammock were the faces of Peter and Harley. Both wore grins that told Tony that they were extremely proud of their antics. 

“Where did you get the web fluid?” 

“Chem lab.” Harley shrugged smugly. 

Tony could order them down and fight to get them to comply right here in front of everyone, or he could ignore it for now (but later he would not), do the lecture, and let them keep their perch. 

Ignoring it won out in the end. 

He could even use the web fluid as an example of potential future innovation. Peter was already tinkering with it (during class while pretending to listen to things he already knew). 

It was truly a win-win here. 

And he was more impressed than annoyed. 

Not that he would tell the two above him that. 

ONE YEAR LATER

There were few things Tony wanted to be doing less than sitting in this office waiting for the upcoming interview. Posing as Natalie Rushman, Natasha Romanov was about to walk through the door. 

Out of everyone in the original lineup, and even the extended one, she was the one with whom Tony had the most complicated relationship. 

2020 - Original Timeline

Ever since Tony had moved to this cabin in the woods, he rarely got visitors that weren’t Happy or Rhodey. 

And he was fine with that. 

Which is why he was surprised to have Nat sitting in a chair next to him on the porch overlooking the lake. A monitor sat by Tony as Morgan napped soundly inside. So far, it didn’t seem as if she was getting his insomniac tendencies. Hopefully, it stayed that way. 

“The others were playing a drinking game the other night.” 

Tony took a sip of his coffee. He was six months sober and had no intention of breaking his longest-ever streak. “Oh?”

“If we had it all to do over again if we could go back in time to when it all started, what would we change?” 

“How many drinks was whoever came up with that in?” 

Natasha nodded. “At least four.”

Tony merely grunted. “What did you say?” 

“I had a few. Not to switch sides. Take you more seriously back at the beginning. To listen when you said something bigger was coming. Trust you during the whole fiasco with Hydra. That put a lot of blood on my hands that I didn’t think of in the heat of the moment.”

“Spangles did it just as much as you did.” 

“He still believes he did the right thing. Meanwhile, I have regrets. And I should have listened to those. You would have listened if I’d mentioned Siberia. We could have gone. But…”

“Hindsight’s a bit of a bitch, isn’t it?” 

She nodded. “I can’t help but look at the last decade or so and wonder if there was anything we could do.” 

“It’s not like we can change time.” 

Turning, she looked at him, her face earnest. “What would you change?” 

Tony leaned back in his chair. It was a question he’d asked himself over and over and over ever since Peter had turned to dust in his arms. 

What could he have done to prevent that? 

“After New York, I should have sought real therapy instead of going to Bruce. I should have talked more about what I saw in that wormhole. Ultron - the whole thing. The list could go on and on. But what does it matter? We lost. It’s done. There’s no going back and no fixing it.” 

“There isn’t,” Nat said, not unkindly. “Despite it all, you managed to find some happiness in this. You and Pepper finally got married, Morgan hopefully will take after her-”

“Hey! I have many great qualities.” Tony glared at her indignantly, but there was a hint of a grin. Despite their history, she was still the easiest one to talk to. Without Barton, she was like him. 

Lonely and tired. 

“Fine. Hopefully, she’ll have your courage and brains, Pepper’s common sense and patience.” 

“Fair.” 

“And we can go forward doing what we can to make the world as it is better for her.” 

Tony raised his mug and Nat brought hers to clank against it. “That, I can drink to.” 

And they’d tried. But in the end, the cost of success was both their lives. And he was alone in trying to save the world given a second chance he still couldn’t believe was there. 

The boys were at school. May and Rose were watching Abby and Morgan at the house with help from J’s watchful eye. And this time Happy, Rhodey, and Pepper were with him. Granted, two-thirds of them had been there the original time but having his best friend in the room went a ways towards settling his nerves. 

At least it made it so he wouldn’t throw up. 

“Boss, you need to calm down.” Happy eyed him from where he stood against a wall, positioned so he could see all the exits as well as most of the room. Rhodey was taking up a similar position on the other wall. 

“I’m perfectly calm.”

A hand came to rest on his and he turned to see Pepper giving him the look that let him know that she’d seen through his crap. 

Said look was on the list of the many many reasons why Tony loved this woman. 

“We’ll get through this together. Talk to her, and let her have the job for a bit. She’ll see you’re different than you were last time and she’ll make her report. It’s your choice what you do when they approach.” 

“I don’t like having SHIELD in my company. We both know what’s happening under Fury’s nose.” 

That was another thing. He’d changed a lot and he didn’t want Hydra to have any idea of what was different this time around. Obviously, there were things he couldn’t hide but this- he felt he could. 

Or at least try to. 

Tony saw Happy freeze for a half second before facing him. “She’s on her way up.” 

Pepper squeezed his hands before shifting into the pose that Tony affectionately referred to as the “CEO Pepper takes no prisoners (or shit)” pose. 

The elevator dinged in the outer office and Tony heard Pepper’s receptionist greet Nat. After a moment, there was a knock on the door. 

“Come in.” Pepper was doing much better at sounding calm than Tony thought he’d do. 

Her receptionist, Melanie, stuck her head in. “A Natalie Rushman here for an interview.” 

“Send her in, Melanie.” 

Melanie quickly disappeared and after a moment the Black Widow stepped through. 

There was a moment when Tony realized just how sick he’d been the last time. He should have seen the way she scanned rooms when she entered. How she quickly profiled Happy and Rhodey along with the exits. 

And then her gaze turned to him. 

Tony Stark had seen Natasha Romanov pull off a lot of stunts. Several of those while in various states of intoxication. 

But the one thing he’d never seen, was her stumble.

That is, until today. 

Rhodey was closest and caught her and she started to go down. He steadied her and her hand flew to her head as if she was trying to shake off a headache. For the briefest of seconds, Tony swore he saw an orange tint to her eyes. 

It took her a second but she finally looked up and started looking around frantically. Her breathing was heavy. 

Once again, her eyes settled on Tony. They stared at each other for a moment and Tony felt his eyes widen. 

“Tony, what the hell is going on?”