There's no need for anything similar to "alive" in the underworld, a place where every soul finds their right place, some resting, a few others getting back to having new experiences designing new shapes and identities in the human world, but for the current goddess dedicated to it, flowers were more than just the "decorations" others thought they were. Maybe she just liked the idea of giving life to something instead of taking it away. When she smiled, the flowers bloomed, when she cried, her precious creations had an end. She tried very hard to keep her emotions in a neutral point while taking care of the flowers that slowly helped the underworld to feel as a more comfortable place.
For some time, it was just her, the flowers and the sound of the souls traveling. She took the time to guide each one that seemed to need some help, and it slowly became just another routine, a job that just "fit".
She wondered many times how the other gods felt about their own tasks, but she never said anything when it came to her own, she just kept going no matter what, her eyes following the souls that were similar to leaves moved by a long river, it was almost like being in a trance while looking to it for too long, but for her, it was nothing else but an idea that made her forget a bit about the feelings that increased inside of her. After all, even while being an immortal being, that didn't stop her from having something similar to the emotions the humans never got to understand fully. Even she didn't know how to understand this sometimes.
It wasn't until a dandelion appeared between her dear flowers that Duskfall was caught by the intrusion of this new addition to the garden. The little dandelion mocked her pretty good, making the goddess chuckle by the end of the day by how it flew away and checked most parts of the underworld without even asking. Once it grew tired of playing with the goddess, it landed on her hands, giving her just a picture and a message, something she never experienced before. Many times flowers gave her messages from the human world, but this was the first time she had a clear image of it, a pretty big and beautiful garden that could easily compete with hers. The care and love that its creator gave it was notable, but what made Duskfall frown was the real meaning behind this message, someone was going to die soon, and this little dandelion was probably a fragment of the feelings of the strong soul that wasn't ready to part so soon.
She never did an exception like this, she felt that the sudden thought of checking what was going on was something new, it was unreal compared to the many times she avoided by thinking about her own rules of not getting attached to anything nor anyone yet the garden was an exception, right? That meant breaking another rule just because of her own curiosity wasn't something bad, right?
After all, what she wanted to see was that beautiful garden, meeting the person that took care of it was just another part of it.
💉
She didn't know how different night and day were for humans, so she arrived one morning and just walked around, looking at how the flowers immediately seemed to enjoy her company. She couldn't help but smile. Not being able to keep inside this warm feeling, she caressed some leaves and noticed how the flowers moved just like if they were dancing thanks to the help of the gentle wind.
"It's nice to see someone enjoying some time with them too!".
Duskfall almost fell down, but her body freezed, her human disguise was on while she slowly took her hand away, looking at the human by her side who greeted her with a kind smile before staying at a respectful distance but close enough to almost feel their shoulders brushing.
"I haven't seen you around before, do you like flowers too?".
She nodded.
The girl chuckled softly after seeing her shy reaction.
"I think flowers really are enjoyable with some company, would you like some tea?".
Duskfall thought about going back, but she nodded once more, before finally looking at the woman who seemed quite friendly to her, despite being some stranger. She could sense this was genuine, but behind every word, another feeling was hiding, the goddess couldn't perceive what exactly that was, but she followed this girl, it felt like the right thing to do.
💉
She discovered the woman's name was Emma, which didn't actually match with the archive, but that just created more curiosity in Duskfall's mind.
She used quite a similar name in the human world, "Emily", and for once she tried to convince herself that it was just a funny coincidence that neither of them were really saying the truth, all of this was like some kind of human mystery puzzle she now wanted to dedicate some time to even if it was for nothing else than just a little weird feeling that made her chest hurt. It was weird, a mix of assumptions she made just to try and explain to herself what was going on, but between the subtle lies, she noticed a few things that perked her interest, like how Emma's eyes seemed brighter once she started talking about her garden. Someone so young and passionate, it was always hard to realize someone who looked so bright even at first glance would not have more than a few months left.
💉
Emma was weird, in a good way.
After all, she wondered why her cheeks were a soft pink when she looked close to her. Emily made sure to always greet her with a smile, it was what she knew to be a polite way to greet and express admiration towards someone, or maybe her ways were quite old by how she didn't leave the underworld as much as she wanted to? Still, even if sometimes the girl looked nervous, she always laughed and gave her a cute smile that soothed the weird feeling Emily had on her chest.
Sometimes, when she was near the flowers, their hands brushed softly. At the start it wasn't such a big deal, Emily's gaze always fell onto the floor while trying to avoid helping Emma's flowers to grow more or even faster, she didn't want to take a life while she tried to learn more about this human that didn't seem to stop catching her attention.
With just a few weeks, Duskfall seemed to understand the earth in a better way than she did before, and for that, she wanted to search for a proper way to thank Emma even if she could never really understand why she felt like that.
It could be her own little secret, not so different to how she was breaking the rules with the excuse to see Emma's garden, but because she already knew she was getting attached to someone she probably shouldn't.
"Are you okay?"
The sweet voice helped her realize how long she was spacing out.
"It's… nothing".
"Are you sure? You seemed to be… in pain… B-but If you don't want to talk about it it's okay too, I mean it, y-yeah".
She couldn't help but laugh by the sudden shy expression Emma had.
"Thanks".
She caressed one of Emma's cheeks slowly. The girl easily seemed to turn pink, which just made her smile, for once, not caring at all about anything else than what she could feel by this gentle closeness.
Emma was warm, quite the opposite of what she was used to.
It was nice.
💉
As the days passed, Duskfall noticed the difference between earth and underworld, could it be that those weird sensations her human disguise gave her were clues to it? She supposed it was a part of getting used to the environment until she looked again at her usual work. Many souls before tried to catch back death just to see a glimpse of who they used to be or what they had, the painful expressions only she could see was something she could never understood before, not even now. All she knew was how life had a cycle that must be respected, the way the universe worked was to preserve what needed to be in the future, the past was a mark, not a scar, why couldn't humans accept that too? Gods chose, made the rules to keep the universe with a certain balance, even if some just played with it sometimes just to change the routine. Duskfall always kept her words and ideas in silence, close to herself and no one else, full time dedicated to her own job that everyone didn't seem to understand, but she did. She was needed by those souls, to not be fooled, eaten or trapped, to not feel like there wasn't a place for them when the universe already worked in a certain way to manage each one of them.
Yet there was still something wrong, something she could never have realized before.
When Emily looked at Emma, the girl always seemed to hide something under her sweet smile, sometimes Duskfall wondered if those were feelings she didn't want, memories, or just a way to keep up despite knowing something. At some point she thought maybe the two were the same, hiding ideas and feelings but just keeping up with what they must do, but was there really something like that for Emma? At first she thought about her garden, how precious it was for her, how much weight it had on her, but sooner or later, she found out they could never be the same, no matter how much she tried to convince herself that someone out there could be similar to her.
One day she finally understood who the man in the many pics that were in Emma's house was. Once she heard by the girl's words that she was alone because her father decided to do a long self discovery journey, she never thought she meant he met death a long time ago.
One night, while they were seated next to the other, looking at the stars, the wind seemed to be moving many leaves, along many dandelions that were in the front of the house. Emma smiled but her eyes reflected sadness, as she spoke in a soft voice and asked her.
"Have you ever loved someone?".
Emily kept in silence, she never thought about something like that before, but before she could say anything, Emma spoke again.
"I mean… not in a romantic way, the kind of love for someone that you care a lot about. As if you want to make time stop just to keep the warm inside your heart. I think it depends but, that kind of feeling".
Emily nodded.
"And have you ever thought about how you would feel if you lost it?".
Emily frowned, caught in thought.
Emma tried to laugh, it was clearly a bit nervous, like she knew it was something she shouldn't have brought as a topic, but Emily knew. She held Emma's hand and caressed it as she knew she liked it, now serious, she wanted to make her understand that she wouldn't judge her.
Emma sighed.
That night, for the first time, Duskfall understood why the souls were mostly attached to the world they left, it was the love they felt for what they had in this world, for the things they cared about and could never see again. Emily's chest hurted once she saw Emma cry for the first time, and she promised herself that she wouldn't let any tear caressed her cheeks again while she had fingers to bring some warmth to this broken soul.
🌱
She knew she shouldn't feel guilty for someone else's decision. But would Emma hate her if she told her the truth?
She didn't know anything about the girl's father more than what she told her, but Emily imagined it was a kind man with too many feelings that ended overwhelming him.
She wondered what kind of fate Emma was going to have, and just by thinking about how much her chest ached just by thinking about it, she realized she didn't want to let Emma go so soon.
It happened to be already a few months since they met, almost one month after Emma told her about the pain she never shared with anyone else, and if she needed to be honest, the girl seemed more relaxed, happier than ever, despite still feeling hurt by the loss. Duskfall thought once more about how this affected Emma's garden, it looked better than before, and she wondered if this was thanks to the woman letting out part of her real feelings. She couldn't help but smile, once more it was quite similar to her own abilities to make things grow.
What she didn't expect was to get carried away with this human identity.
One night, when she met how sweet and soft Emma's lips were, how her own chest felt warm while her stomach felt weird, as if a mix of wind were moving leaves trapped in a certain place, and Emma's hands took care of her just as if she was a flower she gently wanted to keep by her side, Duskfall knew this may be wrong, but it felt too good that she didn't have the heart to say no.
She knew she was being selfish, but these feelings made her realize something she never understood or craved for before. She loved Emma too much, so much that she wouldn't allow her to go so soon.
🍃
Knowing better what the earth meant to the souls in the underworld, she wondered if there could be a way to prolong time that wasn't against the rules. Time was different in both places, and what ended up creating a chaos in Duskfall's mind and even her garden was the truth she wanted to avoid so much.
Half of her garden burned down.
Not controlled frustrations led to more.
For the first time, Duskfall stopped feeling like just a guide. Understanding the souls was quite a mistake of hers, what breaking the rules meant to her was more devastating than already losing what she worked for and cared about for so long.
Emma's words repeated in her mind as she fell down in a weird abyss. She passed out for two days, and once she came back, she immediately went to her side, not noticing the few flowers that were growing in her own garden.
🌿
"What do you like the most about being alive?".
"Seeing my flowers grow. Being able to be by your side by doing so it's a blessing I thank every day for".
She blushed.
"I'm… happy to be by your side too".
As they held hands, many flowers grew by their sides without any of them noticing.
"If I ever invite you to see my own garden, would you like to come?".
"I would love to!".
Emma smiled.
Emily's eyes were crystalized.
"I would like to share it with you, just like you've done with me".
A gentle kiss soothed the pain just for a bit.
"Emma".
"Yes, my angel?".
"I love you".
💐.