Despacito (Slowly)

Jake Lockley despertó con los ojos cerrados, sintiéndose rodeado de calor.  De principio, no estaba muy seguro de donde se encontraba. Tenía el vago recuerdo de haber decidido que sería el primer Alterno en el sistema en ser capaz de emborracharse a punta de patadas y fuerza de voluntad, de estar a punto de lograrlo, y ser interrumpido por Estebancito… Y entonces…

Author´s note: Well, we forgive Jake for not wanting to think in English, but once again, I kick off the translator effect. If you are starting to read the fic from here? I’d recommend reading the rest to figure out what’s going on. There are other Jake sections in this fic too, so the same rule applies. First paragraph Spanish to set the mood, next paragraphs in English so you guys who are not bilingual know what the hell is going on.

“¿Estebancito?” He opened his eyes to bling as the pink embraided pillow that was holding his head. He was feeling extremely disoriented, even if he wasn’t hungover. He was exhausted, at least emotionally. Because now he remembered clearly that yes, Steven had managed to find his hidden spot within the mind-space, and Jake had just been unable to hold his emotions back upon being touched by his beloved and cried like a little baby until he had fallen asleep.

And now, if he was not wrong, he was fronting, he realized as he looked down at the throw on top of him. It was the ugly green throw that Steven usually slept under, the one that Marc had to make sure was always on top of them back when he was trying to convince Steven that there was nothing weird going on with his life, that Steven was alone in the body and neither Marc nor Jake existed.

But he was not in bed. He was in the couch, the one that used to be filled to the brim with books before, and only now had started to be more of a surface to actually sit in.

“Oh, you’re awake! What happened? You guys gave me a scare!” Jake looked up at the voice, recognizing Layla immediately because, well, he had memorized her voice long ago, while watching Marc’s painful-if successful- courtship of her. But of course, his morenita was not worried about him, she didn’t even know he existed, and wouldn’t be happy to see him in place of her two beloveds.

Even if they had been his amores first.

Jake looked at her, wondering how long he could go on without speaking before she got suspicious. How long it would take for Marc or Steven to realize that he was fronting and come hurrying to get the control out of his hands in case he did something stupid like, just as an example, flying to Cairo and force his way into the Gaza Pyramid demanding to speak with his god? But he couldn’t hear Marc or Steven. He could feel them, and that feeling warmed him even more than the throw that was covering him. But it didn’t seem as if either of them was hurrying to front… or even conscious at the time.

The answer to the first question in his mind, how long would it take for Layla to realize she wasn’t talking to Steven or Marc, was “not long”. Because in the second that it took for Jake to assess that he was in control of the body for the time being? Layla frowned and took a step back.

“Uh… Jake? Is that you?” Her tone was cautious, but not afraid. It was more as if she was worried about how he’d react to her, about spooking him, than about her own safety. Of course, Jake would kill himself before harming her, but she didn’t know that.  “Hi… I’m Layla El-Faouly, Marc’s wife and Steven’s girlfriend… but… you know that, don’t you?”

“Si,” Jake finally answered, realizing that there was no real reason to lie or hide. Marquitos and Estebancito knew that he existed. His Corazón had even found him upon feeling Jake´s broken hurt over stupid Khonshu. There was no more reason to keep the pretense that he was just a shadow easy to forget. “Jake Lockley, Encantado.”

And because he hadn´t been raised to be rude, no matter the situation, Jake got up, grabbed Layla’s hands and gently kissed the top of it as a greeting and show of loving respect.

*                *                *

Layla had to stifle a very thrilled giggle upon feeling Jake’s lips on top of her hand. Her introduction to Steven had been very sudden and she had spent a good part of their first day together convinced Steven was nothing but an act that Marc was putting on, for reasons she couldn’t understand.

So she had missed those first moments of discovery, of seeing the tiny differences between her husband and Steven. How Steven looked at her when she started explaining old Egyptian traditions, how he blushed and looked down whenever she praised him, and how he just couldn’t seem to keep his hands still, always fidgeting, always touching something. Now, now she knew. Now she was very familiar with how her boyfriend was unique, even if he shared a body with her husband.

Then again, they had been trying to save the world from a crazy man and his crocodile goddess so, perhaps It hadn’t been the best time to think about romance.

Now, however, Jake was surprising her in a completely new way. His voice was grave, yes, lower in tone than Marc’s which was a feat considering how low Marc’s growled Chicago accent was. But there was a hidden softness there, brought by the Spanish language. It made Layla want to lower her defenses even if, if she was completely honest, this man was a complete stranger to her.

A stranger that had been trying very hard to seduce her husband and boyfriend, too.

“Uh… that’s…” She took her hand back, hoping it was not rude. “It’s been a long time since I spoke Spanish… Mr. Lockley.” She added his surname, which she was pretty sure neither Steven nor Marc knew.

“Está bien,” Jake replied to her, smiling weakly as if he was trying to go back to the confident cocky man she had seen on the video. But Layla knew a bit about emotionally closed men and the one in front of her had been hurt, bad. He had been mad at Marc for insulting Khonshu, and shocked into revealing himself by the news Khonshu was on trial by the rest of the Ennead. “No hablo ingles, pero lo entiendo, señora Spector.”

“Layla is ok, please,” Layla motioned for him to sit, as she really didn’t want him to leave as he had done the one time they had met. Which reminded her of something. “Thank you for the anniversary serenade… you didn’t have to do that.”

“No fue que Marqui… Marc lo olvidara,” Jake was quick to reassure her, as he sat back on the couch, looking quickly at the mirrors around. He was probably looking for Marc and Steven, wondering where they were. TO be fair, she was also curious about how their mysterious third had ended up fronting, and for so long now after just brief seconds unless he was sure no one who knew them could see them. Well, no one but Khonshu, she supposed. “Pero no sabía que darte, y pues… nadie se resiste a una buena serenata, ¿Verdad?”

By the end of the sentence, which Layla only half understood and she reminded herself of getting back in contact with her old friends from Spain, Jake’s attitude had shifted into that cocky man she had been expecting, and he winked at her, complicit and seductive, as if he was remembering how much she had trembled as he had come close to her, expecting a kiss on the lips and getting one in the forehead instead.

How he had made her melt, without even touching her, with only his words and a guitar.

“Are Marc and Steven listening?” She asked, trying to change the subject. While she didn’t think she was in danger, there was the chance he’d try to distract her to run away and… what? Search for Khonshu to make sure she wasn’t lying? She still didn’t have much information either as, for the first time since she had become her Avatar, Tawaret was uncharacteristically silent.

“No tengo idea, preciosa,” Jake, for the lack of a better word, lounged in the couch, extending his arms, and opening his legs to get more comfortable and Layla inwardly bit her lips. It was so strange to see Marc and Steven’s body move like that; yes, Marc was always confident in his stride, and after Cairo, Steven had gained his own security, even as he still made himself smaller -except when he had been wearing the Suit. When the Suit came out? The house kitten had become more of a leopard, in Layla’s opinion.  But this?  Jake’s every movement screamed seduction, his movements fluid and melodic, like a snake hypnotizing her into his embrace. Even as he was mostly still right now, she could see him tapping his feet, as if to following music only he could hear. “Pero todo me dice que aquí estamos solo tú, solo yo.”

*                *                *

Por dentro, Jake se encogió de vergüenza. ¿Timbiriche, Jack Lockley? ¿En serio? ¿Y Timbiriche de su época infantil? Estaba seriamente atolondrado si esa era su línea de apertura. Pero por fuera, su sonrisa no vaciló. No quería abusar de la confianza de Layla, pero ella era la única que le podía decir que había pasado con su pajarillo perdido.

As confused as he was because neither Marc nor Steven seemed to be trying to come forward despite Marc having been expressing his suspicions about Jake’s intentions towards… well, to be honest, everyone’s virtues, and how much both obviously disliked that Jake was still tied to Khonshu; Jake knew he needed to get information, and this was his only chance.

Layla understood a bit of what he said, but not all. He knew this because of how her eyes glazed a bit, especially if he spoke a bit faster.

And he knew he was having an effect, as she looked towards Steven’s pitiful kitchen quickly, then back to him. She was trying to keep him in her eyesight, at the same time that she wanted a distraction from him. Which was good. That meant that she wouldn’t think too much if Jake slipped how much he really cared about Khonshu’s whereabouts.

“Do you want something to drink?” She asked, and Jake’s grin grew. That was a too easy opening, but he was going to take it. It would only help to make him seem even less focused in the problem at hand.

“Solo la miel de tus labios, querida,” he finished with another wink, laying in the charm thick, and she blushed, even as she tried to look unaffected. Oh, he still had it: Steven may be the diplomat of the three, wanting to talk and solve everything with words, but Jake? Jake knew he could charm the pants out of a snake if he put his mind to it. Hell, he could maybe convince Layla to just run away with him back to Cairo, if he played his cards right.  

He could see the exact moment when she translated what he had said, as she blushed brightly even as she tried to pretend he didn’t. So to lay it on thicker, he licked his lips. And yes, the red grew brighter, but to her credit, she didn’t stammer as she replied.

“Good try, Mr. Lockley, but I am a married woman, and you had your chance once,” She joked, showing off her hand that, thank Khonshu, again sported the ring Marc had put on her finger the day of their wedding. And, on top of it, Jake could see an extra, thinner band. One he knew Steven had bought for her in Cairo.

“Entonces tendra que ser agua,  Steven no tiene Cocas frias en el refri,” He shrugged, remaining calm. He kept his eyes on her as she went to the kitchen to get him the water. He needed her to drop her guard completely, and trying to find an exit from the apartment wouldn’t do. Not that he neeed to look for one. Jake knew Steven’s apartment like the back of his hand, and knew exactly how to get out of it and back without tripping any of Steven’s frankly pathetic booby traps.  Marc would trip some, and them put them back, but Jake? He knew how not to make a single mark on them.

“You know a lot about them, don’t you?” She asked him, trying to hide her curiosity with a casual tone. Jake considered his options. He could lie, sure, keep his own secrets and privacy. Or he could be truthful… and hope Layla would relay the information to Steven and Marc -who still didn’t show in any mirror… which was starting to worry Jake, had they abandoned him too?- without judgment.

“Los conozco de hace mucho tiempo, si. Aunque ellos no se acuerdan,” Jake finally said. He was not willing to tell her anything about Marc’s and Steven’s lives that she didn’t know, but he could admit his role on those times.

But he really needed Marquitos and Estebancito to come up soon before he started believing that running off to Cairo with nothing more than a fake passport and the clothes on his back was a realistic plan.

*                *                *

Marc woke up first, as he felt the pang of worry and fear and abandonment that shook the body, surprised to find himself leaning on Steven, who was also profoundly asleep, and covered with their couch knitted throw in Jake’s place… with no Jake in sight. Which meant…

Worried, he shook Steven awake.

“Steven… Steven,” he said, hurriedly as Steven blinked at him, sheepishly. “Jake is fronting!”

“Wha?” Steven blinked and shook his head, clearing the last strands of sleep from his eyes. “Guess we all were more emotionally exhausted than I thought… you sure he’s fronting?”

“Do you see him here?” Marc pointed at the still empty and depressing room, and at the obviously empty living room they could still see from the open door that now led to their common area. “He must have woken up first, and since no one was at the wheel he took it.”

“Probably on instinct,” Steven rose from his position, stretching to undo any kinks that may had formed by their uncomfortable position. “We should let him know it’s ok.”

Marc wasn’t quite sure it was ok, but he agreed with Steven. Chances were that the body just pulled forward whoever happened to be conscious to take control, not that Jake had purposely took the body away. Especially as, if he had done that, Marc and Steven would’ve locked in their rooms, or at least the common area. Marc knew this well, before he and Steven had gotten their heads together, Marc used to lock Steven up to make sure he didn’t wake up in the middle of a mission.

And now he wondered what Jake thought of that little trick.

“You know a lot about them, don’t you?” Layla’s voice filtered towards them and Marc frowned. Usually, he didn’t hear the outside world from his room unless he was trying. But here, Layla’s voice was clear as it was when Steven fronted and Marc was in the common area of their Innerworld.

“Luv, look,” Steven pointed at the window they both had used to enter Jake’s room, as it shifted and showed what the body was seeing. So that was another mystery solved. Jake had a window to the outside, one from his hiding place so that Steven and Marc wouldn’t feel him when awake.

And now Marc realized, that instead of locking him and Steven when he needed the body? Jake had locked himself in. He probably only got to front when both Marc and Steven were asleep, and later, when their agreement together had made the barriers of the inner world weaker.

Jake had spent his whole existence hiding himself from them, making himself small. Looking around the bare apartment, Marc shook his head. He couldn’t even be mad at seeing Layla blushing.

“I wish we could understand what he’s saying,” Steven said out loud after Jake said something else that made Layla blush harder. 

“Want to get tips on how to seduce my wife?” Marc shook his head, but there was no venom in his voice. First, the simple fact that he now shared Layla’s love with Steven and Steven’s love with Layla? Had made him reconsider his jealous streak. He could share his love for Steven and Layla, because each was different, and because he knew Layla didn’t see Steven and himself as the same person or tolerated one of them because they were in the same body. 

“I don’t think that’s what he’s doing,” Steven soft smile told Marc that yeah, Steven was also thinking about how utterly pointless was to be jealous. After all, Layla was her own woman. She wasn’t something Steven and Marc could own, and thus, they just had to trust that at the end of the day? She loved them and would come back to them. Even if a very hot Spanish-speaking man who looked like them was trying to seduce her.

“Oh?” Marc looked forward, as Layla handed the body a glass of water. Well, he just hoped the glass didn’t end up like the last one.

“So… they used to know about you?” Layla was asking, surprising Marc. It seemed that she wasn’t kidding when she said she knew Spanish. “And they forgot?”

Both Marc and Steven saw how the view changed, as they were now facing Not Gus and New Gus’ tank and they realized that Jake was looking for them. As if asking permission to answer Layla’s question. But from where they were, Marc wasn’t sure if he could project his voice to Jake, to tell him that it was ok.

He had no idea what Jake was going to tell Layla, as he didn’t remember ever knowing Jake, but he, Layla and Steven had reached an agreement after Cairo: No more secrets. That had gotten Steven and Marc killed once, they didn’t want to repeat the experience.

Marc looked at Steven, gave him a hug and walked outside to the window he knew how to project his voice from. Sure, they didn’t really need those visual aids, all they needed was the desire to communicate, but the truth was that after years and years of emptiness and cold? It was a comfort they all indulged in. Well, at least Marc and Steven.

Once in the more cheerful common area, he fixed his gaze in the mirror of the reflective surface Jake was looking in, smiling when he saw the other man’s eyes grew in recognition and surprise.

“Go ahead, tell her,” Marc said, and braced for the feelings he was sure to receive from their Alter, even if he wouldn’t understand the words.

Jake’s eyes softened as he looked up, presumably to Layla, just as Steven reached Marc’s side, ready for whatever came.

*                *                *

Jake no había esperado ver a Marc en la pecera que Steven insistía en tener. Estaba convencido de que en el momento en que Marc o Steven recuperaran la conciencia, lo aventarían al fondo del mundo interno para interrogarlo. Bueno, su vida lo haría. Su Corazón posiblemente trataría de hablar las cosas calmadamente.

But Marc was there, looking at him directly without anger or judgment. In fact, it was almost the same look Jake knew Marc gave Steven when he thought Steven wasn´t looking. When he knew Steven would do the right thing for whatever situation they were in.

“Go ahead, tell her,” Marc´s voice was clear in his ears, and even so, Jake hesitated because he knew that there was no way Marc remembered what Jake did. But then Steven came into view too, and he nodded softly, and Jake couldn´t resist them both. If they wanted him to tell Layla, if only to understand themselves? He couldn’t keep it to himself anymore.

“Los electroshocks no ayudaron mucho,” he tried to joke, and keep his voice calm. It was long enough that he could say the words without shivering. Sure, being back in that damned box when Harrow had shot his Querido and his Cielo had unearthed very bad memories. But Jake was strong. He would stop having nightmares about that again soon. “Cuando el buen Rabí Spector pensó que la solución a la locura de su hijo era mandarlo a un psiquiátrico en lugar de separarse de la bruja con la que se casó.”

The gasps that followed his statement were so loud and immediate that Jake couldn’t tell who they came from. Oh, then he absolutely was not going to tell them about the solitary confinement in the small room, where he was told he was not to be let out until he stopped “Faking” being Jacobo Lockley and started answering to Marc Spector again.

“He… sent you all to a mental asylum?!” Layla was horrified, and Jake tried to avoid her eyes. This was not conductive to what he wanted, nor to his suave and carefree image. But if he avoided her, he ended up looking straight into one of the many mirrors around and then he had to deal with their eyes and that was too much. So instead, he closed his own eyes, and focused. He was out there not because he had chosen to, but if he was there, he needed to find out about Khonshu. Redirect the conversation to what was truly important, and not his past.

“Agua bajo el puente, no es como que el daño no estuviera hecho desde antes,” he joked, swirling his finger near his ear. “No sé si lo haz notado, nena, pero tu marido no está muy cuerdo que digamos.”

Layla’s expression went from pity, to confusion, to anger as she realized what he had just said. He was probably lucky she didn’t hit him for insulting Marc.

“You’re trying to make me angry, so I don’t ask you more questions,” She said instead. Damn, his Marquitos had really married a smart woman. “It’s not going to work, Jake.”

She enunciated his name carefully and slowly. No more distance provided by “Mr.Lockley” and “Mrs. Spector”. She was trying to convince him that she was on her side.

“Solo digo, no entiendo porque querríamos hablar de eso… porque estoy loco y es más, estoy loco y me aguanto,” he sing sanged. Ok. Miguel Bosé was a lot better than Timbiriche, so at least his own side of the brain was recovering from all the shock. “Honestamente, estoy más interesando en el futuro… lo que quiero saber es qué paso con Khonshu y los pendejos del Ennead.”