Chapter 25
Week 20…
After Natasha, Steve and Clint had gone back to DC the house was a lot quieter. Uncomfortably quiet. I swear there was an echo.
How the hell did Tony deal with living alone in the mansion for so long?
Anyway now with no one around I kind of started to realize I didn’t really have a lot to do. Add to that the fact that my birthday was a few days away and I was moping around.
“So things are pretty quiet now that there’s not a full house.” Elaine said.
“Yeah.” I said looking out the window.
“It’s okay to miss them.” She said.
“Hm..” I hummed.
“Got something on your mind?” Elaine asked.
“Tomorrow’s my birthday.” I said.
“Oh my gosh. Happy early birthday.” She said smiling but faltered when she saw the look on my face. “Or not.”
“I’m not exactly sure how to feel about it.” I said. “It’s my first birthday since… you know.”
“It’s normal to have mixed feelings about it. You tried to kill yourself and weren’t planning on having another birthday but here you are months later, not just surviving but thriving.” Elaine said.
“You call this thriving?” I asked.
“Do you remember what you were feeling when we first started? You were here just to see if Tony would actually keep his word. You were drinking yourself to sleep every night. You refused to even admit that soulmates were a real thing. You wouldn’t even talk to me or well anyone honestly about how you were feeling.” Elaine said. “And now you actually bonded with them, you miss them, and may or may not be considering finally having that conversation you keep postponing with that one soulmate that obviously has feelings for you?”
“Not happening.” I said.
“We’ll get there but for now how about we focus on tomorrow.” Elaine said. “How are you celebrating.”
“I wasn’t planning on doing anything.” I said.
“But you have to. It’s your first birthday after a failed attempt on your life. When was the last time you thought about jumping off a roof or hurting yourself?” Elaine asked.
I looked at her skeptically before I started thinking. I had been so busy dealing with… everything it had been months.
“It’s been a while.” I said.
“I know because your mood has been better. It’s been weeks since you stopped taking the pills so you’re pretty much leveled out. This is all you.” Elaine said. “You put in the work and you’re seeing the results. Which is why I think you’re ready to cut back on our sessions.”
“No more therapy?” I said perking up at the news.
“No. We’re cutting down. I don’t think you need to be here every weeks but once every two weeks. It’ll give you more time to do some work your own but we’d still meet to check in and maybe work through things as they come up.” Elaine said.
“That actually doesn’t sound horrible.” I said.
“Good to actually know you trust what I’m doing.” Elaine said.
“If I didn’t think that I wouldn’t have come back after my first session.” I told her.
“You would have come back. If not for yourself then for Tony.” Elaine said. “Which by the way how is that going?”
“You mean after he told his friends Steve walked in on me watching porn that wasn’t really porn?” I said.
“It’s HBO sometimes it’s the same thing.” Elaine said.
“Everything is the same. Or maybe not I don’t have Natasha pointing things out and getting into my head.” I said.
“But there is something?” She said.
“We’re fine.” I said.
“Sure.” Elaine said. “Okay our time’s almost up so time for homework. You’re actually going to like this one. Tomorrow I want you to go out and celebrate your birthday. Have fun, eat cake, celebrate however you want.”
“So hypothetically if I wanted to go to a bar…” I said.
“Do you want to go to a bar?” She said.
“Hypothetically.” I said again.
“Then hypothetically you could, just drink responsibly.” Elaine said.
“Okay.” I said. “So I’ll see you in… two weeks?”
“Two weeks.” Elaine confirmed. “Have a good birthday.”
“Thanks.” I said walking out.
“Brunch?” Tony asked.
“Brunch.” I confirmed. Wednesday brunch had become a weekly thing. Mostly because without everyone at the house there was no point in pulling out a full spread breakfast.
“You’re in a good mood.” Tony said.
“It’s a nice day.” I said. “And I don’t have therapy next week.”
“You don’t?” he asked.
“Apparently I’m doing awesome so Elaine thinks now’s a good time to taper down to a session every other week.” I said.
“That’s great.” Tony said. ‘Does that mean I don’t…”
“Depends are you still having trouble sleeping?” I said.
“I’ve always been an insomniac.” Tony said.
“Tony.” I said.
“Oh don’t do that. You sound just like Capsicle.” He whined.
“No skipping therapy then.” I said.
“But you get to cut down.” Tony said.
“It was a medical recommendation.” I said. “Besides less therapy means more homework.”
“Oh yeah, what’s your homework?” Tony said.
“Go to a bar.” I said.
“What? Did she seriously say go to a bar?” Tony said.
“She said hypothetically it would be okay for me to go to a bar.” I said.
“Damn, you and I need to trade therapists.” He said.
“I don’t think it works that way.” I said.
“It should.” Tony said.
We were at brunch and I was debating whether to get the eggs or the cereal French toast.
“Oh shit.” Tony said.
“Let me guess one of your one nights stands just walked in?” I asked.
“It wasn’t just one night. More like two plus years.” He said.
“Huh?” I asked.
“Pepper just walked in and I swear I didn’t know.” Tony said.
“Is it too late to make a run for it?” I said.
“She walking right towards us.” He said. “Pep hey!”
“Tony.” Pepper said. “What a surprise?”
“It’s kind of our spot.” Tony said.
So much for crawling under the tables and making my getaway unnoticed.
“Oh hi.” Pepper said.
“Pepper this is Hanna… my… Hanna.” Tony said wanting to say more but trying not to cross any boundaries. “Hanna this is Pepper my… you know.”
“I do know.” I said. “It’s nice to meet you and I must say you deserve a medal for all the things this one has put you through.”
“If I get a medal you get a trophy for getting him to go to therapy.” Pepper said.
“I’m right here.” Tony said.
“We know.” We both said at the same time.
“I’ll get you a chair Pepper.” Tony said.
Pepper was awesome, watching her and Tony bantering was hilarious and the stories… well the movies were PG13, the stories not so much.
“I would love to stay here and tell you everything he probably won’t but I have a company to run.” Pepper said. “It was so nice to finally meet you Hanna. We should do this again soon.”
“Of course. Maybe you can come by the house for dinner sometime.” I said.
“That would be lovely.” Pepper said. “Tony, keep her.”
“I’m trying.” He said. Once Pepper was out of earshot he turned to me. “That wasn’t so bad and since when do you cook?”
“Who do you think’s been doing all the cooking since Steve and Clint left?” I retorted.
“You made the stuffed salmon?” Tony asked. “I thought that was take out?”
“No that was me with the guidance of the food network.” I said as I grabbed my jacket following him out.
“So you think we should tell her…” Tony asked.
“I’m leaving that up to you.” I said. “In the movies you two were together and here you’ve been broken up a while. She does play a big part in the Mandarin but I don’t know if that’s still going to happen. Though maybe you should give her a heads up about her ex-boss showing up and maybe about him kidnapping her.”
“That’s going to be a fun dinner conversation.” He said.
“Something that should definitely be brought up by a long time friend.” I said.
“You invited Pepper to dinner, can’t leave Rhodey out.” Tony said.
“He’s probably going to be busy for a while being Iron patriot.” I said.
“Uh he goes by war machine.” Tony said.
“Not after the rebrand.” I said.
“What?” he said.
“Comes with a paintjob and everything.” I said.
“Iron patriot? Like with stars and stripes.” Tony said.
“Yup.” I said.
“Ugh…” Tony groaned. “Iron Patriot? They couldn’t even be original about it.”
“It’s the US government they like putting the flag on everything.” I said getting in the car.
“Are they the same way in your universe?” He asked.
“Pretty much.” I said.
The Next Morning…
I woke up on the morning of my 27th or maybe… well maybe technically my 17th birthday early in the morning. I was in bed for like an hour just debating which one it was before deciding to get up and face the day. I did have homework.
So I got dressed it was a pretty windy day so I decided to go with some layers today. I started off with some dark skinny jeans. I wore a red long sleeved Henley and topped it with a blue chambray top I wore over it and an olive quilted jacket with a brown suede elbow patches. To finish off the look I put on some brown heeled ankle boots, a flannel multicolored scarf and a brown felt with leather accented floppy hat
I looked in the mirror and realized this was the first time I had ever worn his much or well any color. It didn’t feel strange in fact it felt almost… normal. Okay maybe the hat was overkill but I didn’t feel like doing my hair.
Tony and Bruce either still weren’t awake or we’re already in the lab so I left them a note on the fridge telling them to fend for themselves and that I’d be back later.
It was early in the day so I started off with breakfast. I went to the coffee shop for a light breakfast when a customer walked in and got a free coffee since it was their birthday and that’s when inspiration struck. I was going to spend the day going around LA redeeming as many birthday perks as I could.
I think it was around noon that I finally got a call from Tony.
I was in the middle of devouring a sharable individual sized oreo cheesecake when my phone rang.
“Hello?” I said with my mouth full.
“Hey where are you?” He asked.
“In the middle of eating my way through the dessert menu at some café in the arts district.” I said.
“Oh-kay. Why?” he asked confused.
“Why not?” I retorted.
“You feeling okay?” Tony asked confused.
“Actually I have to go, my choco lava cake is getting cold and losing the lavainess.” I said.
“Sure.” He said not entirely convinced before hanging up.
Once I had my fill of dessert I headed to a karaoke bar and rented a room for myself for an hour. I sang my lungs out and worked up an appetite. Again. But this time I did hit a pub.
A very familiar one I had been to countless times. Mostly because it was one of the few decent bars that was open on Christmas day.
“Can I get you anything to eat?” The bartender, Will said. In another universe Will and I had dated. Well we went on one date. He was cute but there was no spark. He was a good guy though and a hell of a bartender.
“Is it still too early for bangers and mash?” I said.
“Normally but for you I think we can make an exception.” Will said with a wink.
“Thanks Will.” I said.
“You know my name?” he asked.
“You’re wearing a name tag.” I said.
“Oh right.” He said.
I smiled picking my free birthday beer and taking a sip. It had been a while since I chose to drink beer and I have to say, I forgot how horrible it tasted.
“It’s good huh?” Will asked.
“Can I be honest?” I asked.
“It tastes like ass.” He said.
“I think something in my mouth died.” I said.
“Yeah, our manager was flirting with the supplier who was trying to unload it so now we’re unloading it as a birthday special but uh…” Will said taking my beer before fake sneezing. “Oh I’m so sorry miss let me get you another drink upgraded on the house.”
“Why thank you.” I said smiling.
A While Later…
“You can’t honestly tell me someone really orders that?” I said.
“Trust me they do.” Will said.
“But it’s pickle juice.” I said.
“That’s why it’s called a pickle back.” Will said.
“People actually pay to drink what’s leftover in a pickle jar? You were going to throw that out anyway.” I said.
“Hey we paid for it and the customer gets what they want.” Will said. “And normally the only people who order that are drunk frat dudes so…”
“They don’t care about the taste they’re just trying to get drunk.” I said.
“Exactly.” He said.
“Who hasn’t been guilty of that at some point in their drunk lives?” I said.
“Don’t remind me. This one time a friend made me drink Guinness with a shot of mixed Jameson and Bailey’s…” He started.
“Ugh… when it curdles..” I said laughing as I remembered when Amy and Theo made me drink that at my first college party.
“This is where you’ve been?” Tony said looking around.
“Best bangers and mash in town.” I said.
“I’m going to make the rounds.” Will said.
“Yeah.” Tony said giving him a look with a very fake smile before sitting down next to me. “He seems nice.”
“Will’s great.” I said.
“Will? You’re on a first name basis?” He asked. I gave him a curious look. Tony looked annoyed and maybe a little upset. Then I noticed the daggers he was glaring at Will’s back. I know I should have said something to calm him down but… I couldn’t help it and decided to mess with him a bit.
“Yeah. He’s cute.” I said.
Tony snorted. “Him? Really?”
“Yeah. We actually dated.” I said.
“What?!” Tony said looking at me horrified.
“Oh yeah.” I said. “It was a magical night.”
“I thought you said you didn’t have a boyfriend.” Tony said.
“I didn’t. It was just the one magical night.” I said. “For him and the chicken he ordered.”
“Huh?” Tony said.
“Will’s a big foodie. He went to culinary school. Or he will before buying this place.” I said. “He spent the entire dinner narrating the bursts of flavor hitting my palate in every bite.”
“So he’s a food snob?” he asked.
“Just a tad bit.” I said.
“That’s… that’s good. great even.” Tony said relieved.
“Were you jealous?” I asked.
“Pssh no…” Tony said. “Why would I be jealous of the tall surfer Bobby Flay over there?”
“Cause he’s tall good, looking and cooks a perfect medium rare steak every time?” I offered.
“That’s was him in another universe.” He said. “Who knows about this one?”
“He’ll probably have a Michelin star restaurant then? Everyone tends to have a better life in this universe without me.” I said.
“That’s not true. I mean other me was probably broke, short not that good looking…” He said.
“You don’t exist in the other universe.” I said.
“See I’m already way better off… wait shit I was about to say I’m way better off because I exist but I existed before you showed up…” Tony said.
“Yeah I got that.” I said sipping my beer.
“So you’re at a bar…” He started.
“Am I? I just thought I was at a room with a wall of bottle full of alcohol…” I started.
“What’s going on?” Tony said.
“Nothing’s going on. I think I’m entitled to my free drink on my birthday.” I said
“Yeah nothing wrong with… Wait its your birthday?” Tony said.
“Yeah. The big 27 or 17 depending on how you look at it.” I said.
“Stick with 27, 17 makes me look like a like a perv.” He said and I just gave him a look.
“Why would anyone think that?” I said.
“No reason.” He answered a little too quickly.
“Everything alright here?” Will asked.
“Oh the food’s great but he’d like one of those specials you were talking about.” I said.
“He would?” Will said.
“I would?” Tony said at the same time.
“Yeah.” I said. “You didn’t drive here did you?”
“No Happy’s outside. I mentioned going to a bar and Jarvis called him.” Tony said just as Will put the shots down.
“What’s that?” Tony asked pointing to the pickle juice.
“Take the shot and guess.” I said.
He picked it up and took it.
“Ugh..” He said trying not to gag. “What was that?”
“Pickle juice.” I said handing him the second shot and he took it groaning again.
“Why did I do that?” He asked cringing.
“Because as a man no one ever told you not to take drinks at a bar that you didn’t order or see the bartender make.” I said.
“Right. It’s your birthday.” He said. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“You never asked.” I said.
“Don’t do that.” Tony said.
“Don’t do what?” I asked. “You literally never asked.”
“How was I supposed to know if you didn’t tell me.?” He said.
“How was I supposed to know you wanted to know if you didn’t tell me?” I asked.
“Okay we can do this all night or we can just skip to the end where you tell me what’s going on in that pretty blonde head of yours.” He said.
“There’s nothing going on. At least nothing I can make sense of.” I said making Tony groan. “But according to Elaine I might be having some feelings about my birthday because it’s the first once since I tried to off myself.”
“Oh.” Tony said.
“Yeah.” I said. “And before you say anything I’m not feeling low or depressed or in the mood to jump off any buildings.”
“Wasn’t going to ask that but always good to hear.” He said. “So why here because I know it’s not because of iron chef over there.”
“I had a craving for bangers and mash.” I said. “Also I didn’t really know what to do.”
“You could have just told me. We could have had a party.” He said.
“I’ve seen the type of party you throw.” I said. “Not sure it’s my thing.”
“I’m seriously starting to worry about how those movies make me look.” Tony said.
“Meh…” I said trying to ease his worries but the first two Iron Man movies did give a glimpse to his not so best side. “There’s a lot of growth. No one’s perfect.”
“If you say so.” He said. “Want to do something? Party? Trip? We can go visit Barton and Romanoff in DC.”
“And Steve.” I added.
“Do we have to?” He asked. “Or we could go to Venice? Paris? Tokyo? Pick anywhere.”
“That’s very sweet of you but I don’t really think now’s the time for a vacation.” I said. “Though it is a very good time to ask why you were jealous of Will of all people.”
“I wasn’t jealous… Do I really have to say it?” he said.
“He’s a really nice guy and you were kind of mean to him.” I said.
“I’ll leave a big tip.” Tony said.
“Tony.” I said.
“Have I told you how nice you look today?” he said playing with the sleeve of my shirt. “Red is your color.”
“Don’t change the subject.” I said.
“I’m not just saying… stuff.” He said smiling as his thumb traced my knuckles where we were holding hands. I didn’t even notice we were holding hands.
“Stuff? What stuff?” I asked eying him skeptically.
“You know… stuff.” Tony said leaning in closer his hand moving to brush a bit of hair out of my face.
We just stayed like that for a few seconds and right when I thought he might actually kiss me a certain bartender had to pop up.
“How’d you like the pickleback?” Will said breaking up the fawning pre maybe kiss situation we were in.
“It’s… It was just what I didn’t know I needed.” Tony said.
“See some people have taste.” Will said.
“Or are tricked into drinking it.” Tony said.
“Yeah any chance I can get the rest of this boxed up to go?” I asked.
“Sure I’ll get it boxed up and close your tab?” he said.
“Appreciate it.” I said before Will took my plate back to the kitchen.
“Gotta love the service here.” Tony said sarcastically.
“Having good timing is important for a chef.” I said.
“I wouldn’t necessarily call it good timing.” Tony said.
“I never said he had good timing.” I said.
“I…” he started before his phone started ringing. “I should get that.”
“You should.” I said.
“I’ll wait for you outside.” Tony said picking up the phone and walking out.
Will came back with my food packed up to go and the receipt for me to sign.
“So would it be too forward of me to ask you out?” Will asked.
“Oh.” I said trying not to laugh. “Wow that’s flattering and in another universe I probably said yes already but I’m in a …well I might currently be in a situation-ship. Not really sure there’s any other word for it.”
“If it’s with him, he’s totally into you.” Will said.
“So I’ve heard.” I said. “I’m really looking forward to having dinner at your restaurant one day.”
“Oh I’m not sure that’s ever going to happen.” Will said.
“Stranger things have happened.” I said. “Night Will.”
“Night.” He said giving me a confused but amused look.
I walked out to see Tony talking on his phone not really happy about the conversation he was having but quickly ended it when he saw me.
“Yeah I’ve got to go. Text me.” He said hanging up.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“Tower remodel. Nothing you need to worry about.” Tony said holding my hand. “So where to?”
“Not sure, weren’t we in a middle of a talk?” I asked.
“Were we?” he said.
I stared at him trying to see if I could get him to crack but when I realized the moment had passed I decided to change tactics.
“Do you like arcades?” I asked.
“Arcades like vintage old school video games and pinball?” He asked.
“Yeah.” I said.
“Sure, it’s been a while though.” Tony said.
“Perfect. I know just the place.” I said taking his hand and walking down the street. “And they have beer pong.”
“Do they have strip poker? Cause I know a place in Vegas that does.” he started.
“Why does that not surprise me?” I said.