Movie Love
“Do you remember the first time we got high together?” Leaning against the overly large bathtub, you ask Wanda, turning your head over your shoulder to her. She’s laid back in the tub, red wine swooshing in the glass she’s attempting to balance on her stomach. Even though it was empty and cold, she insisted that it was big enough to be a bed so it must be comfortable to lay in.
You remember that night. Even if you wanted to, even if you tried, you wouldn’t be able to forget that night. It really brought you and Wanda closer than ever before, spending the night cuddling, talking over the TV, sharing each other’s deepest and darkest secrets. Wanda’s secrets were bright though. Bright and funny and cute and she was just always filled with optimism in the things she said. But never the things she did, or the things she’d settle on.
“Oh, I barely remember that night. My memory is not what it used to be.” She dismisses in a raspy voice. You lean your arm over the edge of the tub, letting it hang as your fingers brush against Wanda’s bare calf. You ignore the way your chest tightens a little when she says she doesn’t remember one of the nights you refuse to forget.
“Mmm. One night, I think it was before our first midterms? We were both stressed out about them, about having to catch up, feeling drained, tired of studying until our brains were too fried to do anything but sleep.” You recall, eyes rolling up to glance at Wanda’s scrunched up face as she remembers her time in college.
“Oh, right! I fell asleep with my coffee straw in my mouth and it cut my lip. That really hurt.” You snort as she pouts at the memory.
“That was pretty funny.” Wanda rolls her eyes at you, taking another sip of her wine. Her lips leave a print, likely vaseline or some other clear lip balm she uses. Vision never really liked the red lips she always wanted to wear. “Anyway. It was late and we put on Friends or something. And you turned to me and said…you just want to feel something.” You narrate the story, watching her face carefully to see if she’s actually remembering the night correctly.
“Yeah.” She mutters, tilting her head and staring off into space. She’s probably counting the spotlights above like you do when you’re laying in this tub, seeing how long you can go counting and counting until your eyes start to hurt.
“If I’m being completely honest, I thought you were gonna ask me to fuck you.” Wanda almost spills her wine as she snaps her head to you with an open mouth.
“Y/N! Stop it, God.” She gasps, clinging onto the glass as she flushes in the face, up her neck, her chest. You let out a gentle laugh, pinching the skin of her calf teasingly.
“I did! Hand on my heart, I did. But I chickened out and just said ‘I got some pot?’ instead.” The thought crossed your mind of course. Wanda was always a beautiful woman and there were times in college when you’d both be really drunk and she’d say something about your eyes or she’d grip your defined biceps a little too long. Of course it crossed your mind, and you thought it crossed hers. But she had Vision. She always picked Vision, even over starting her own life and career.
“That’s what I was asking for anyway.” She teases, failing to hide her smile behind the see-through glass. Maybe she’s a little drunk.
“Yeah. God, the way you coughed with that first hit had me in tears. Goodie Two-Shoes, early bride, perfect husband, perfect life, perfect grades, Mrs Wanda Maximoff…smoking pot with me.” You laugh, pulling your arm out of the tub when it starts to cramp. You face forward again, staring at your mismatched socks as you play footsie with yourself.
“What can I say, I’m a delinquent.” Wanda giggles, sighing in contentment. The two of you sit in comfortable silence, hearing echoing from the boys in the living room clearly up to no good. They should be a little more discreet if they’re trying to go on their snack-hunting mission. “You know…we haven’t had sex in years.” Wanda confesses quietly, sorrow closing up her throat.
“What?” You whisper back, not turning your head because she probably wants to let this off her chest without a look she’ll take as judgement. Realistically, your shock and judgement is aimed at Vision right now. Because what the fuck?
“Vis and I.” She says after clearing her croaky throat. “The last time we had sex was the night that I found out I was pregnant.” You notice how her accent’s fading in and out a little, like it does when she’s drinking and doesn’t have the energy to care about covering it up. You wish she never cared about it.
“Woah. Wanda, that’s 10 years.” You point out, cringing inwardly at yourself. Of course she knows it’s 10 years. She sighs, sipping from her glass again.
“I just…I got tired, and busy, and Vis was always at work. And by the time he’d come home I’m already showered with my mask on, and moisturised, like, everywhere.”
“It’s good to moisturise.” You mumble, taking a gulp of your wine. She does always smell good and feels impossibly smooth. It’s probably the moisturising. Even though you moisturise too, you don’t smell as good as she does.
“It’s not that he didn’t want to. He did, and he would get mad and upset in the earlier years about it. But in the end he just…gave up. And it crossed my mind that he might be cheating, he may have found another way, another woman and…part of me just…didn’t care.” You snap your head to her, wincing at the way your bone clicks quietly.
“Really?” You ask curiously, your hand rubbing the back of your neck.
“Really. I love him, I do. I did. I don’t know.” Wanda sighs frustratedly, slumping into the tub in defeat. The pout on her lips is prominent at this point and you can’t ignore it even if you wanted to. With knitted brows you take a moment to think about your words before facing your feet again because Wanda had the right idea; it’s easier to speak from the heart when you can’t see who you’re talking to.
“Wanda, love is…an intense mix of emotions. It’s all-consuming, physically and mentally. It’s wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone because you can’t stand being away from them, like your body aches, your heart aches when they’re too far away.” Wanda stays silent, unmoving in the tub when you pause. You clear your throat and take that as a sign to continue. “And it’s-it’s not some…some thing where you just tick a box from your to-do list or your life checklist. It shouldn’t be because you have to, but because you want to. Because you want them more than you want to breathe when your head’s underwater.” It’s so silent you can hear the sound of your wristwatch ticking, frozen in your spot as you wait for Wanda to say something. It takes the sound of the TV being turned on to break her out of her thoughts, cartoon sounds blaring loudly.
“Wow. From someone who’s never been in a relationship, that’s…wow.” Your look over your shoulder with a half-smile. Her eyes flutter a little as her cheeks tint pink, drinking her wine and actively avoiding your eyes. Oh no. Maybe you said something wrong? Or made her realise how much of a loveless asshole Vision really is.
“Oh, I-Uh, I watch a lot of shows. Movies.” Wanda groans at your reasoning, throwing her head back. Your eyes glimpse over her neck, nails digging into your palm and the other clenching your glass a little too hard.
“Movie love isn’t real.” She says matter-of-factly. You raise an amused brow at her, loosening your tight hold on your glass.
“Of course it is.” You insist but Wanda scoffs, sitting up in the tub to make her point.
“Oh, come on. Who really wakes up and stares into their partner’s eyes first thing in the morning? Or kisses them when their breath smells? What person makes these big, over-the-top romantic gestures? Who actually kisses in the rain, like, you’ll get a cold, that’s so impractical! Oh, and the worst one is when they realise the person they really want has been in front of them the entire time. Surely any normal person in their right mind would know how they feel after spending years with them, right?” Well. Your throat tightens, a weight settling on your heart. You attempt to clear your throat and swallow the ball that’s decided to form there.
“Right. They’d know that. Definitely.” Your attempts turn out to fail as your voice comes out thick and croaky. Gulping down the rest of your wine, you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and clench your fist.
Does she really think that? Has Vision never kissed her in bed when she wakes up looking like a real-life Princess Belle? When he watches her pick up a book to read as the sunlight shines through the windows, illuminating her already bright eyes, does he not spend minutes if not hours staring at her, calling in sick for work so he could spend the rest of the day in bed with her? Well, how would you know anyway? You’ve never been in love.
“I think we need more wine. I’m not drunk enough yet.” Wanda frowns at the empty glass in her hand and the bottle that’s rolling across the bathroom tiles. You stand up before she can, socks almost making you slip back onto your ass. Wanda doesn’t hide her snort, smiling widely as you blush lightly in embarrassment.
“I’ll go get another bottle. One sec.” With a tired sigh, you walk through to your bedroom and out into the living space.
“Shhh! We’re on a mission!” Billy immediately whispers loudly when he sees you. The frown on your face disappears, replaced by an amused grin.
“Oh, my bad. I’ll close the door.” You slide back on your socks, closing the bedroom door softly and dramatically tip-toeing to the twins. They’re hiding behind pieces of furniture, using their shirts tied over their faces like ninja masks. You jump over the couch, landing on it comfortably. They burst into giggles but you shush them playfully. “Stay stealthy, boys!” You whisper-shout, peaking your head over the back of the couch, dropping back down quickly. “You’re clear to go!” Billy rolls on the ground, his shoes banging against your side table a little too loud to go unnoticed. “Oh, no! Retreat!” He runs back with giggles spilling out of his mouth, hiding behind the armchair again.
“I hear footsteps! I think it’s mum!” Tommy whispers from his spot, lying parallel with the coffee table. It would have kept him hidden if it wasn’t see-through glass. He and Wanda have a lot in common, huh. An endearing smile makes its way to your expression before it drops at the sound of the door opening. Wanda carefully steps out of the bedroom, scanning the open space.
“Hmm. I wonder where Billy and Tommy are.” She thinks aloud, playing along. It also doesn’t help that Tommy’s shoes are peeking out from the side of the armchair. And that Billy is literally right there. It’s hard not to laugh at that, but you contain your soft laughter into a pillow you cover your mouth with. “I guess they’re playing in their room.” Your heart skips a beat at her using ‘their room’ to label the guest room you’ve had set up for months with kids stuff and decoration you thought they’ll enjoy. Were you wrong? Maybe domesticity isn’t so bad. Maybe you can have the average life that lights up by making a family of your own. You’ve been rejecting relationships with women for your entire life and maybe this feeling in your chest is a wake-up call that your time is running out.
“She’s gone back!” Billy whisper-shouts after Wanda retreats, closing the bedroom door behind her. You break out of your thoughts, jumping over the couch and crouching down.
“Let’s go, boys.” You dramatically command and they follow, jumping over the furniture and rolling on the floor. You’re worried they’ll get hurt with how ridiculous their stunts are, but you don’t want to ruin their fun. Instead, you lift Tommy and sit him up on your shoulders. He squeals, hands covering your eyes. “Uh, I gotta see, bud.” You whisper and pick Billy up in your arms when Tommy’s hands settle on your forehead. “Alright. You each take one thing and run back to your room. Then it’s mission comp-”
“Ah-ha!” Wanda dramatically enters the kitchen, pointing at the culprits.
“-lete. Abort! Abort mission!” You yell, containing your laughter. Billy runs around screaming as Wanda chases him and you follow them with Tommy gripping onto you and laughing loudly.
“I knew you were up to no good! Come here!” Wanda playfully scolds them, wrapping her arms around Billy when she catches him. He slumps in defeat, taking his impromptu prison seat on the couch. Wanda’s eyes narrow as she challenges you from across the living room.
“Uh, oh. I think we’re next.” You whisper to Tommy who grips harder.
“Run! She can’t ruin the mission!” He commands, bursting into laughter as you start running in circles, avoiding Wanda’s hands every single time. But she traps you against the wall fairly quickly, hands gripping your waist with a wide smirk.
“Ha!” She exclaims in victory, pulling you to the couch. Tommy climbs over your shoulders and plops down next to you with a defeated sigh. You frown, turning your head side to side, seeing the boys with their shirts in their hands now, looking down at their laps sadly. This simply won’t do.
“Prison break!” You yell, jumping up and wrapping your arms around Wanda’s waist. She squeals but she can’t break your hold, especially when you lift her up with ease, holding her over your shoulder.
“Y/N! Put me down!” She demands but your grip tightens, a smirk on your face.
“Boys, take your snacks and retreat. I’ll keep her busy.” They cheer happily, rushing back to the kitchen as you carry Wanda back into the bedroom. Kicking the door closed with your foot, you throw her down on the bed with a victorious smirk. She huffs, her tank top ridden up and exposing her surprisingly subtly defined abs. Her chest moves up and down as she breathes, her hands slamming against the sheets as she sits herself up.
“You spoil them too much.” She argues, narrowing her eyes playfully.
“You don’t spoil them enough.” You rebuttal with a grin, plopping down next to her. You lay back on the bed, one arm outstretched for her and the other hand behind your head. Wanda drops down after you, her head resting on your outstretched arm.
“Do you really believe movie love is real?” She asks once more, laying sideways to face you. You turn your head to her, staring into her eyes refusing to blink just in case you miss a gleam.
“Yeah. I really do.”
This is probably one of the most impulsive things you’ve done that you’ll come to regret. But after that wake-up call, you went for the first thing you could do. And that was Rebekah Mikaelson.
Wanda and the twins stayed over for the rest of the week before Wanda decided it’s best to use her parent’s house as a temporary home while she and Vision took their time to finalise everything. You were a little upset about that, of course. Even Loki was up the next morning with a scowl, barely looking at you let alone crawling in your lap. And that emptiness made you realise you should probably give dating a go. Like, real dating. Not the one night stands or the two-week ‘relationships’ that end because you never let anyone in. But maybe a chance at a real relationship, a real love, a real partner, perhaps a real family of your own in the future.
Rebekah isn’t too bad. She’s just a little hot-headed and doesn’t take rejection well. But before that, she was nothing but sweet and kind to you in passing. So you asked her out for dinner and drinks, and now here you are, sitting across from her as she reads the menu with a frown on her face.
“What’s wrong?” You ask her, placing your own menu back down on the table. Reaching a hand out to comfort her, you immediately retreat after her next words.
“They won’t let me change the way my steak is cooked.” She complains, pointing to the part on the menu where it says all steaks are cooked medium-rare. Chef’s choice. “I only eat them well-done.”
“You-You what?” You whisper in disbelief, the cutlery clattering as your knee accidentally bangs against the table. No. Surely these types of people don’t actually exist, right? “You’re kidding, right? It’s-It’s overcooked. Practically rubber.” You explain, laughing breathlessly in shock. But Rebekah simply tilts her head with a smile that can only come off as condescending.
“No, it’s cooked. If it’s anything but brown, it’s raw.” She ‘corrects’ you, looking back down at her menu to pick something else to eat.
“I-Okay. Okay. This is fine. This is totally fine.” You clear your throat, picking your menu back up too. It only takes 5 more seconds before you drop it down again, lips pressing into a thin line. “People do eat raw meat in different cultures, you know? It’s normal, it’s good food, and-” And this is a dumb thing to argue about. She looks up at you with her piercing blue eyes, narrowing them as she wordlessly asks you to finish. “Nope. Not getting into it. It’s fine. I like it medium-rare, you like it well…well-done. Cool. Just…getting to know each other.” You shake your head, putting on a fake smile. You scan the menu, eyes flicking back up every time Rebekah sighs loudly as she reads. Okay. That is annoying but totally fine.
“Have you had the halibut?” She asks, forgetting that you already told her this is a new place you’ve been wanting to try for a couple weeks now.
“Uh, no. Haven’t been here before.” You remind her with a tight smile, looking back down.
“So how do you know it’s good?” She asks again, forcing your attention back to her.
“I…don’t? How do you know anything’s good until you try it?” You look back down.
“By reading reviews? I’ll check.” She pulls out her phone, her nails tapping loudly against the screen.
“Rebekah?” You call for her attention, clenching your jaw slightly.
“Yeah?” She mumbles, eyes stuck on her screen.
“Stop. P-Please, stop.” You reach over, covering her phone with your hand. She almost looks offended by that, but she allows it as you pull her phone away and put it in your pocket instead. “Just be in the moment. Order something you haven’t tried before. Experiment a little, live a little. Maybe try your steak medium-” She glares at you and you duck your head, sighing. “-okay, not that, but you know what I mean, right?” She nods slowly, her eyes scanning your face down to your body. The maroon shirt you have on clings to your biceps and her eyes stay there for a couple seconds before coming back up to lock onto yours.
“I’ll experiment.” She agrees and you think she might have misunderstood your words but you don’t bother correcting her. “I’ll have the halibut. And a bottle of the sweetest white wine you have.” She tells the waiter that looks almost prepubescent as he comes up to your table.
“Of course. And you, ma’am?” He asks, turning to you. He puts on his ‘work smile’ but you can tell he’s probably waiting for his shift to be over so he can go home and play video games all night.
“The duck for me, thanks.” He notes it down before turning, but you call for him one more time before he walks away. “Oh, and whiskey.” He turns back, writing on his notepad.
“We have a variety of cocktails-” He offers but you shake your head quickly.
“Just straight.” You demand with a tight smile, widening your eyes for a moment to let him know you’re done.
“O-Okay. Your complimentary starters will be out shortly.” He walks away, leaving to let the silence between you and Rebekah torture you. How have you ever done these dates sober?
“You know, you really didn’t have to walk me all the way up here.” You tell her with a nervous laugh as the lift slowly moves up the building. Apparently, Rebekah had her driver wait outside your apartment building because that’s where she assumed the night would be heading anyway. You didn’t ask if she has a driver because she can’t drive or because she’s obnoxious. She’s already proven the latter, so you go with that one.
“Oh, I wanted to. This is a really cute building. Is yours the penthouse?” She smiles, leaning against the wall. You lean against the opposite one, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Uh, no. Just a couple floors below it.” You answer, checking your watch to see why the hell this ride is taking so long.
“Oh. Well, that’s still nice.” She says, somehow making her voice sound even more annoying than your chatty neighbour. This date did not go well. At all. It’s been painfully awkward and she’s either changed from what you remember before the incident, or she’s just showing her true colours. There’s nothing but entitlement and an empty head here.
“Yep. It’s a great view.” You tightly smile as the doors open, rushing out of the lift. Her heels echo as she follows you to your door, waiting with her hands clasped behind her back. “This is me. Thank you. For tonight. And walking me to my door.” Rebekah doesn’t take the hint. Of course she doesn’t. Her hands crawl up your arms, squeezing your biceps before wrapping behind your neck. Why does she feel so cold? You shiver at her touch and she takes it as a positive sign. It’s not.
“So…do you want to experiment a little more?” She husks, leaning up on her tiptoes. Just as you lean back slightly, your door unlocks and opens, revealing Wanda with tired eyes that widen.
“Oh.” She says in surprise, eyes flicking across the two of you. Rebekah looks at her with an annoyed expression, very clearly judging the sweatpants Wanda’s wearing. You slide her hands away from you, chuckling nervously and stepping back.
“Wanda! Hey, what are you doing here?” You ask her, your smile no longer fake. But hers is. You can immediately tell because it doesn’t reach her eyes and her beautiful dimples don’t make an appearance.
“Hi. I just needed…it’s okay, you’re clearly busy. I’ll just go.” She sighs, moving to step through the two of you, but you hold onto her shoulder before she can take another step.
“I’m not! I’m not busy, no. If you need me-” Rebekah scoffs loudly, arms crossed over her chest angrily.
“You’re not? Did you seriously ask me out just to reject me again? Are you a psychopath?” She practically scowls at you, her cheeks tinting in either anger or embarrassment. But her words trigger you and everything you’ve tried holding in tonight just…spills out. You’re definitely going to regret this.
“Are you a fucking psychopath? Who the fuck eats their steak well-done?! And why are you such an ass to waiters? You didn’t have to send the food back twice, and-” Wanda interrupts, making another move.
“Okay, I should go.” She’s clearly uncomfortable but you’d rather Rebekah leave and Wanda stay. Wanda clearly needs you right now otherwise she wouldn’t have let herself into your apartment.
“Stay.” You command.
“Go.” Rebekah commands at the same time. She raises her brow at Wanda, looking her up and down threateningly. “Who even are you?” She asks, taking a step towards her. You clench your jaw so hard it hurts, stepping in front of Wanda protectively.
“Okay, you’re done. Bye Rebekah.” You grab her phone that’s still in your pocket from dinner and practically slam it against her chest. Then you step back, a hand behind you to make sure Wanda walks backwards too, and close the door in Rebekah’s face, hearing her gasp and huff at your actions through the door. You wait until her heels click on the ground as she stomps away. “Christ.” You sigh, ducking your head with a hand pressed against the door. “I know you have a key but-”
“Why didn’t you tell me you started dating again?” Wanda bursts out, cheeks flushing as she looks at her feet, avoiding your eyes as you turn to face her. A curious expression takes hold of your face.
“Why does it matter?” You respond to her question with a question as she crosses her arms over her chest self-protectively.
“We’re best friends.” She says matter-of-factly.
“I know that.” You answer, cautiously taking a step towards her. She’s acting a little weird and it kind of looks like she’s going to break down any moment now. “I just figured you have more important things to worry about right now.” Your tone is stating the obvious but Wanda rolls her eyes and scoffs.
“What’s more important than you?” She mumbles, plopping down on the couch. With furrowed brows, you tilt your head in confusion. She must be joking, right? This can’t be as big of a deal as she’s making it, not when she has Vision and the boys to worry about now.
“Your divorce?” You ask, scanning her expression. It changes from sulky to shock and then confusion before she ultimately settles back to sulky. With a sigh, you drop your keys in the bowl and kick your shoes off, making your way to sulky Wanda. It’s the worst because sulky Wanda fills you with a desperation to make her not sulky and you ultimately blame yourself when you fail. Dropping down to one knee in front of her, you force her eyes to meet yours. “What’s up?” Your thumb strokes over her calf back and forth, soothing her nerves.
“The boys were saying they missed you. And I realised I really missed you too.” She confesses, a vulnerability in her eyes. Somehow she looks even more tired than the first night she came here, even though you thought the bags under her eyes were disappearing since then. “But that doesn’t matter. You have a life and we can’t stop-”
“You’re my life.” You impulsively burst out, but you roll with it anyway when a blush creeps up her neck. She bashfully turns her head away but your fingers hold her jaw ever-so-gently and bring her wide eyes back to you.
“Y/N, you-”
“No, Wanda. You and the twins, you’re my life. I don’t have a life; I have a job and I go day by day surviving. But with you and the twins here, I-I felt like I was finally living. Like I had a purpose other than crunching numbers in a building filled with robots like me.” You confess, feeling a weight lift off your chest. With a breathless laugh, you lean back and run a hand through your hair.
“Really?” She says with optimism.
“Yeah, really. It was like-like this wake-up call. Telling me that this is what I was searching for all along. A family, one to call my own.” She smiles widely, cheeks flushing. Her mouth opens to interrupt but you finish your thought quickly. “Which is the whole reason I went out with Rebekah again.” Her smile instantly drops but you figure it’s because she doesn’t like Rebekah.
“Really?” She says with pessimism.
“Desperate, right? Damn, she’s totally the wrong woman for me to try to build a relationship with let alone a family. Can’t even build a fucking conversation with her. She’s just the last person from the office who asked me out and I just, I remembered I didn’t go out with her initially because I had dinner at yours. She’s just not what I thought she was, I guess? Maybe she changed after that whole incident. Maybe things would have been different if I did go out with her that night. I don’t know, really-” You ramble, going off your stream of consciousness, but Wanda interrupts you, standing up so quickly her knee almost collides with your chin.
“I have to go.” She states abruptly, easily avoiding your eyes with you still on your knees.
“What? Why?” You ask, stumbling up to your feet as she picks up her big handbag. You have to practically race her to the door, standing in front of it to stop her from leaving without an explanation.
“I just-I can’t be here right now.” She insists, tears swelling up in her eyes. You’re head’s spinning with confusion right now as you breathlessly laugh again, looking at her like she’s being ridiculous.
“The twins are with your parents, I’m sure you can stay a little while longer.” You suggest, holding her hand and walking towards the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine. But she tugs her arm free with ease - you weren’t holding her tight anyway - and frustratedly runs it through her tangled hair. On autopilot, your hand moves up to detangle it for her but stops halfway in the air and flops back to your side.
“Y/N, I can’t do this with you again! God, I’m so…I’m so stupid.” Her voice cracking echoes the crack of your heart at her words and the way tears swell up again in her already red-rimmed and puffy eyes.
“What? No, Wanda, what’re you saying? I don’t understand.” You step towards her with desperation in your expression; you just want her to explain. Why is she so upset? So upset that she can’t even talk to you about it? Wanda takes a step back, tugging her coat around her body tighter in defence. Her shoulders slump in defeat.
“No. It’s me that misunderstood. I have to go. I’ll text you.” The door slams on her way out before you can even say a word of protest. With a hand pressed against the door contemplating whether you should run after her or not, you sigh and lazily drag your feet to the fridge. Grabbing a bottle of beer, you slump down on the couch and turn the TV on, half-smiling when Loki appears from your bedroom, hopping on your lap.
“Thanks, buddy.” You whisper, soaking in the comfort he provides. He only purrs, nestling as you gulp down your beer with nothing but Wanda running through your mind.