We're gonna be okay

Early the next morning Peter and Tony made their way up to the Med-bay. It was way too early to be awake, Peter barely even got any sleep. It was, Peter checked his stark watch, it was 5 in the morning.

A yawn escaped passed Peter's lips. Tony took notice and rubbed his shoulder. They got off the elevator and walked through the med-bay and into their room that they were gonna be staying in for a while.

Helen was ready for them right away, "Good morning Peter."

"What am I? Chopped liver?" Tony accused Helen.

Helen smiled softly, "Good morning Tony."

"Ah, that's better. I feel more awake now."

"Peter, I'm going to need you to put this gown on, okay?" Helen gestured towards the bed.

"Why?" Peter's voice betrayed him and wavered as he picked up the gown

"What we are gonna do today is a couple things, the first thing that's going to happen is something called a spinal tap. Have you heard of that before?"

Peter scrunched the gown in his hands and shook his head indicating that no he's never heard of that.

"It's a very short procedure that is going to test to see if the cancer has spread to the cerebral spinal fluid. It takes about 5 minutes, give or take. Afterwards is the tricky part, you're gonna have to lay flat for about 4 hours." Helen looked at Peter's confused face, "It's so you won't get a headache, the after effects can sometimes be a bit painful. I'm sure you'll just catch up on your sleep though."

Peter showed no response. He was getting antsy and just continued to fiddle with the gown.

"I'm going to leave the room so you can change, alright."

Helen started to walk out while Peter did a half nod only to blurt out befote Helen could close the door, "I can keep my underwear on right?"

Helen giggled at this. "Yes Peter, you can keep your underwear on."

Peter untensed his shoulders a bit at that. Once Helen was gone Peter just stared at the gown.

"Do you need help with that Pete, I've had a lot of practice dressing small people."

"Ha. Ha. Very funny Tony, no I don't need help. Can you just close your eyes or something."

Tony rolled his eyes and made a point at very dramatically turning to face the wall. Once Peter was satisfied that Tony wasn't looking he quickly replaced his clothing with the gown.

Tony was alerted when Peter was done, when Peter threw his clothes at him.

"Gee thanks , I love being a laundry basket."

Peter giggled while he sat next to Tony in the other seat the room had. Tony looked quizzically at him, "Pete why don't you sit on the bed?"

Peter shook his head, "nah, I wanna wait until I have to."

Just then Helen knocked on the door before entering.

"Alright Tony I'm gonna ask you to step out while I do the procedure."

Peter immediately started to freak out internally.

"Helen, I'm not leaving him."

"Tony it's procedure."

Tony crossed his arms, "Helen, I'm practically your boss. Let me stay."

"You're not my boss Mr. Stark, we've been over this." She gives Tony a sly look.

"Alright, I'll go," Tony stood up with Peter's clothes in hand. "Pete, I'm gonna be right outside the door okay, don't worry buddy," Tony added on once he saw Peter's horror stricken face.

Peter wordlessly nodded. Then Tony was gone and Peter felt his heart fall to his stomache.

"Okay Peter I'm gonna need you to get on the bed alright?"

Peter quietly sat on the bed.

"Alright so i want you to lay on your right side, good. Now can you put your knees up to your chest and put your head down to your knees. Good exactly like that. So you can't move at all during this okay?"

"Okay." Peter's voice was extremely quiet, he wasn't even sure if Helen heard him or not.

"Okay I'm just gonna clean the area. It's going to feel a little cold." Helen wiped his lower back with alcohol. "Im going to numb the area alright?"

Peter accidentally let a whimper escape his lips, he didn't know why the idea of having a needle go into his back was frightening him so much.

Helen rubbed her hand on his upper back to sooth him, "It's alright Peter, you're doing good." She stuck the needle in. "Okay we're gonna wait a few seconds for it to numb up.

Peter was biting his lip and even though he wasn't in this odd position for very long, he was starting to get uncomfortable. Stop being a baby she hasn't even done the spinal tap yet, Peter thought.

Helen tapped around the spot that should be numb, "Do you feel that Peter?"

"No," came Peter's mumbled response.

"That's good, I'm going to insert the needle that's going to get the fluid, are you ready."

Peter took a breathe and gripped the sheets, "yeah, just do it." Peter scrunched his eyes shut.

Helen slowly inserted the abnormally large needle into Peter's lower back.

"Are you feeling okay Peter, any discomfort?"

"Uhm- I feel pressure?" He opened his eyes once he realized it wasn't painful.

Helen nodded to herself, "that's normal."

After the fluid was collected she took out the needle and put a bandaid over the puncture.

"Alright, Peter you did so good. You're going to have to lie flat on your back now."

Peter slowly started to move, unsure if this was allowed? He was told not to move before, so he was confused.

"You're all set Peter you can move." Peter thanked heaven and stars that she took notice in his confusion.

Helen helped Peter lay flat and she adjusted the pillow.

"Peter I'm gonna insert a cannula into your arm so I can give you some fluids. It's going to help with avoiding a headache."

Peter slowly nodded.

Helen opened the door and was a bit startled to see that Tony didn't lie when he said he was going to be right outside the door.

"How'd it go, is he alright?"

"Yes, Tony I'm fine," Peter reassured.

"He did great Tony." Helen walked to the other side of the room to get her supplies to insert the IV. She silently hooked Peter up to it and hung the fluid bag beside the bed on a stand. "So, there's nothing much else that's going to happen for the next 4 hours, you can inform me if he has an discomfort or headaches."

"Will do Doc." Tony smiled at Helen, he truly was greatful for her.

"Later in the evening we're planning on inserting a chest port, but that depends if Peter is feeling up to it. I definitely suggest that we get it done today though."

"A what?" Peter asked from his spot on the bed.

Tony grabbed Peter's hand, "Peter it's okay, you'll be put to sleep for that one."

"The port will be used when we administer the chemotherapy," Helen explained.

Peter whimpered at that and he didn't even care that Tony and Dr. Cho heard him. This was all too much, too fast.

Tony stood up and got in Peter's eye line, he rubbed his thumb soothingly on the back of Peter's hand. "Hey, Underoos. You're alright, I'm gonna be with you the whole time. I know I'm annoying, but it'll be fun yeah?" Tony cringed when he realized he said it would be fun, as it most definitely will not be fun.

"Okay," Peter whispered.

Helen made her way out the door.

"You wanna try to fall asleep?" Tony was asking while he was getting the blanket at the end of the bed and drapping it over Peter all the way up to his chin.

"I'm not sure I can fall asleep right now."

Tony hummed in thought, "wanna listen to a podcast?"

"Sure."

After an hour of listening to some random junky murder podcast, there was a knock on the door. Thinking it was Dr. Cho, Peter paid no mind. But he then caught a wiff of Pepper's flowery perfume.

"Hey guys," Pepper smiled at the duo, she was holding a sleepy Morgan in her arms, "Morgan wanted to say goodmorning before she goes to school today."

"The puppy eyes of doom with that one," Tony said while pointing at Morgan.

Pepper walked over so Peter could easily see her face, she swiped her hand across Peter's forehead, "Hi baby, how'd it go?"

"Hmm, it was okay. I didn't even feel it."

"That's good to hear. Morgan sweetie, say goodmorning and goodbye to your brother." Pepper tapped Morgan's shoulder to arouse a response out of her.

"Goodmorning Petey and also goodbye," she added the goodbye with a pout and continued on, "I gotta go to school, why do you get to stay home?"

Peter tilted his head to the side a teeny tiny bit.

"Peter's a little bit sick right now," Tony covered for him.

"Oh okay, I'll get you your teddy bear later!"

Pepper gave a quick kiss to Tony's lips and another to Peter's forehead. "Get some rest" she pointed at Peter and then Tony, "both of you."

"Okay mom," Tony teased.

"Bye Pepper."

"Bye sweetie."

After Pepper and Morgan left, Peter actually was feeling tired. The barely sleeping had finally caught up to him and after a few minutes he was passed out.

Tony didn't mind that he passed out, it meant that he could work on some SI stuff, but watching his kid sleep on a hospital bed in a gown was really hard. Tony was working and also making sure that Peter didn't move around a lot in his sleep.

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

By hour 4 Helen had popped her head in to check on her patient, seeing as he was asleep she elected to leave him be. She instead checked his IV.

A couple more hours later Peter finally woke up.

"Rise and shine kiddo." Tony put down his stark pad that he was working on.

"Hi," Peter said through a yawn.

"You can move now, Helen just wants you to let her know if you have any pain anywhere."

"Okay," Peter slowly started moving, "in that case can we raise the bed?"

Tony wordlessly got up and picked up the remote that controlled the bed, he got it into a half sitting, half resting position.

"Is that good?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"Helen's gonna probably come in and talk about the port." Tony watched as Peter's face was drained of his blood. He tapped his blanket covered foot, "Hey, I know it's scary, but you're the strongest I know."

Peter scoffed at that. "No way."

"Yes way! Are you kidding!"

Peter smiled softly.

The door opened.... again, and in walked Helen Cho.

"Hey guys, I brought some pamphlets that will tell you what the next few years are going to look like and what to expect," she handed them to Tony, "just let me know if you have any questions."

"Years!?"

"I'm afraid so, cancer is something that you're going to want to monitor even when you're all done with chemotherapy."

Peter pinched the bridge of his nose and inhaled.

"Now Peter I want to talk to you about placing that port."

"I'll be asleep right?"

"I'm afraid not, you'll be given local anesthesia to numb all the areas. I promise you won't feel a thing. The procedure takes about 45 minutes."

"And then when will he get chemotherapy?" Tony budded in.

"I'd like to give him a rest period for about an hour after the procedure is done, but after that I want to start the induction phase of chemotherapy."

Peter closed his eyes tightly.

Tony nodded his head, "Okay, alright."

"Are you ready Peter?"

"No, but whatever."

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

The procedure took 45 minutes, just like Helen said and after the hour rest period Helen started setting up the chemotherapy.

"Dr. Cho? Can I change out of this gown?"

"Of course, why don't we let Tony go up to your room and get some comfy clothes."

Tony immediately stood up. "I'll be right back Pete." Peter nodded at that.

Peter was extremely nervous, he didn't know what to expect. He wondered what Ned was doing. Oh my god, Ned.

"Hey Fri, can you tell Tony to grab my phone," Peter was talking to his Stark Watch.

"Of course Peter."

"Thanks."

Peter fiddled with his hands until Tony returned. In Tony's hands were some sweats, soft socks, an ungodly amount of blankets and Peter's pillow. He dumped the stuff onto Peter's lower half of the bed and fished his clothes out to hand to Peter.

"Thanks Tony." Peter stood up to go change in the bathroom.

"You're a good dad Tony."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. It looks good on you," Helen smiled. She hadn't been there to see Tony become a dad, as she was dusted. But what she had seen before was Tony giving dad vibes around Peter everytime he came in with a Spider-man injury, he was too stubborn to fully give in. This new Tony was a breath of fresh air for her.

Peter came out all dressed comfy and slowly made his way back into the bed, he wanted to slow down time.

"Alright Peter," Helen said while hooking up the IV, "this will probably make you cold. Some patients have experienced fatigue and nausea. So, just let me know if you're feeling anything at all, okay?"

"Okay," Peter's voice was smaller than Tony was expecting.

Helen started the drip. "I'll just be outside, but click the button if you need me."

"Thanks." Helen was out the door.

Peter's face was all scrunched up when Tony looked over at him.

"What's that face for?"

"I can- feel it? This is the one downside of being enhanced, it doesn't feel good at all."

"I'm sorry buddy," Tony gave Peter a sympathetic look. "But look hey, here's your phone."

Peter glanced at the phone and snatched it out of Tony's hand, but instead of opening it when he saw the massive amount of notifications, he just placed it down on the table that was next to his bed.

An hour into the session Peter was bundled up with two blankets and was on his side facing Tony, he could barely keep his eyes open. Fatigue was most definitely hitting him hard. He had his arm wrapped around his stomach, he wasn't going to tell Tony that though. He could handle it, he was an avenger.

"You can go to sleep Underoos, trust me I won't be mad."

Peter accepted the permission and closed his eyes all the way.

When Peter woke up the first thing he noticed was that his stomach was still in pain and he felt nauseous. The second thing he noticed was that the lights were dimmed. The third thing he noticed was that he wasn't hooked up to the chemo anymore. He flopped onto his back and focused on his breathing. No way was he going to vomit.

"Hey, you okay sweetie?"

Hearing Pepper's voice was what broke him.

"No. I don't feel so good," Peter practically sobbed. Tony's eyes snapped to Peter when he heard him say that, he didn't wanna think about Titan, he didn't wanna think about Titan. "I feel sick."

Pepper helped him sit up and placed a basin under his chin, Peter's body gave in once he sat up. Peter vomited twice and then heaved for a second before slumping back onto the bed.

" 'M sorry," Peter whimpered out, "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, hey. You don't have anything to be sorry about." Pepper ran her fingers through his hair, he closed his eyes at this. "You're gonna be okay."

Peter started sobbing, hard. This was all too much. He missed May and he wondered why Spider-man was failing him. This was all his fault.

"Hey, this isn't your fault."

Oops, he needed to stop doing that.

"Isn't it though? I can heal from anything, I- I shouldn't even be able to get can- leukemia!"

Tony made a face, like he knew something that Peter didn't. Peter didn't like that look.

"What?" Peter croaked out.

"Nothing bud, why don't you try to eat some of these crackers, it might help the nausea," Tony handed him a pack of crackers. Peter just stared at it, yeah he was definitely not going to eat these, not right now at least.

He replaced the crackers with his phone, he turned it on to see a bunch of messages from Ned. He was so preoccupied he didn't see Pepper and Tony's identical frowns.

Ned
-Peter did you show Tony?
-Peter?
-Peter????
-fine, ill talk to you tomorrow
-dude where are you? Youre already marked as absent
-DuDE??
-come on man, message me back im reall worried.
-please jm gonna hack your phone if u dont message back
-okay im jot gonna do that
-peter pleeaseee

Peter let more tears fall once he read through the texts.

"Peter what's wrong?"

"I can't tell Ned."

"Oh, honey," Pepper started, "you don't have to tell right now, eventually yes, but you don't have to tell him right this second." She wiped Peter's tears away.

"Okay, what should I tell him." He looked up at Pepper.

"You could always just tell him you're sick, you don't have to explain yourself. Plus you're not telling a lie either." She gave him a sad smile.

"Okay," Peter nodded in thought.

Peter
-Hey Ned, sorry for freaking you out. I'm just a bit sick at the moment. I'll call you tomorrow, maybe.

"Okay I sent something."

"Hey Pete," Peter turned his head towards Tony, "if you don't want to tell him, we can always tell him or we can tell his mom who can inform him."

Peter licked his lips, "Uhm. I think he'd be upset if he didn't find out from me."

"I think he'd be upset anyways sweetheart," Pepper informed.

"Okay. Can you guys just tell him, I'm too scared." Tony and Pepper looked at eachother and both said yes.

The rest of the evening was spent lazying around the room watching some star wars. It was Peter's comfort movies after all. Pepper eventually left when she got a text from Happy that he was dropping Morgan off. Tony stayed up the whole night when Peter didn't sleep, even though he was fatigued. He was too nauseous  the entire night and kept switching between apologizing and telling Tony that he should sleep.

Tony just kept reminding him that it was gonna be okay.