Secret - Loki
From the very beginning, I was meant to be Thor's beloved.
My parents were both royalty and one of Asgard's strongest allies, so from just the age of eight I was given up to be raised in the palace until old enough to marry the prince. Even as a child, I understood what that meant for me and didn't quite agree. The princes were both equally great, but I didn't want to be anyone's. I wanted to be Y/n. The queen who earned her place not by marriage to a powerful man, but by her intellect and strength.
Of course, her opinions on the matter held little to no importance since her fate had since been decided by the Allfather when the treaty with her parents was signed and she was left under Asgard's care. As a child, she was raised alongside Thor and Loki yet always being reminded that she was meant to be wedded to the future king by the age of 24. Growing up, she always got along well with the princes, regardless of both being polar opposites. She enjoyed sparring with Thor in secret and only Frigga's knowledge since it was frowned upon her to do so, yet she also enjoyed her reading time in the library with Loki where they would share their interests. At some point, she had come to realize that she looked forward to both respective things with different feelings. Towards sparring with Thor, she felt excitement at getting stronger and getting to train with whom she felt was like a brother. Yet, when it was time to meet up at the library with Loki she felt butterflies flapping their wings In her stomach and a warmth in her chest. She never felt this way with anyone else in her whole life and she knew her feelings for Lokiw were different than with anyone else.
Even from a young age, Thor knew he never felt the way he should've towards Y/n. Guilt ate at his heart for seeing her as nothing more than a younger sister. Not because he feared to hurt her feelings, since he could tell she had feelings for a certain raven-haired prince, but because his father wished for them to be wed and as much as he wanted to, he'd never deny his father any wishes. This troubled Thor greatly since he didn't want to keep her from being with her love nor his brother. he also hoped to someday find his own and whilst many women who could potentially have been had passed through his life, he let them drift with the wind in hopes of keeping their secret hidden. The truth was though, that Thor loved Y/n like a big brother loved a sister and it had always been that way. They had practically grown up together and he loved her like he loved Loki, which is why he wished for them to be happy.
Frigga had always known. She'd seen it in her dreams even before the treaty was signed. She never agreed to arranged marriages since she wished for her sons to find love naturally, but her husband was a stubborn man. She saw the way that even as a child Y/n would treat Loki and how she'd sit with him through tough times when Odin was harsh. How'd she'd play tricks with him and on him, which sometimes caused him to lash out at her in childish anger at being tricked. How'd she'd care for him when others wouldn't, how she'd defend him and his name even when he wasn't around, even going as far as punching whoever might call him any mocking or degrading name. Frigga had seen it all and regardless of who she was destined to marry now, she knew things would work out in the end, for she had already seen it.
...
Y/n hated feasts and balls. Anyone who knew her knew that she hated all the dresses and jewelry and makeup. She liked the more simple things, yet unfortunately, nothing about royalty or Asgard was simple. If you gave her the choice to do what she really preferred she wouldn't even be here to begin with. The sound of Thor's familiar laughter brought her back to the hall. The Allfather seemed to be speaking, but she hadn't been listening to a word. Upon finally coming out of her thoughts she realized that all laughter had ceased and all eyes were on her.
She stared back at everyone dumbfounded. " Y/n is just a bit nervous about the wedding and all the preparations. Right? "
Thankful for Thor's save, she finally nodded in response and offered everyone a smile. Odin seemed satisfied and the conversation carried on. She glanced over at Thor and mouthed Thank You, to which he replied with a smile and a nod before returning to his conversation with the Warriors Three. Next, she looked at Frigga who smiled at her warmly before returning to her quiet conversation with Odin at the head of the table. Her eyes scanned the table for the familiar green and finally landed on them right next to Frigga. He was already looking back at her and smiled upon making eye contact. His smiles always somehow seemed to put her mind at ease and she almost forgot she was in the hall to begin with. Of course, her bliss was short-lived when the Allfather proposed a toast. Then, she remembered why it was that they were celebrating, to begin with. Her birthday was in two days time and while none of her birthdays were celebrated with such grandeur, this one was to be her twenty-fourth which meant her marriage to Thor. Now one could understand why she seemed to be so out of it. In truth, the celebrations weren't for her per se, but for her marriage to Thor which would take place just two days after her birthday. She raised her glass nevertheless and plastered her practiced smile on her face as she looked around the table at the smiling faces.
The mead was bitter down her throat, something she never quite cared for except on special occasions or when the bitterness was enough to momentarily erase the pain she felt. Everyone dug into the feast and she could feel eyes on her as she ate her meal. Discreetly, she looked up and their eyes locked once again, only this time his were laced with concern. It was both a blessing and a curse that he knew her so well, for he could always read her emotions like a book. His eyes asked a question, one he knew the answer to but asked anyway. Are you alright? And although he very well knew the answer, he still gazed into her eyes for it. Words did not need to be spoken for their gazes said all that needed to be said.
When the feast and celebrations were finally over, Odin insisted that Thor guide Y/n to her chambers. Unbeknownst to him, the raven-haired prince would be joining as well. It was like this many times, where the Allfather would 'suggest' Thor to take his betrothed somewhere for them to enjoy quality time and Loki would come along. Of course Thor never minded and encouraged him to come along as much as possible and as for Y/n, she cherished any time she was able to spend with her beloved God of Mischief.
" Quite a feast we had. I almost thought Father would fall over with how much he ate " Loki snickered after his comment as he walked in between Thor and her. Thor let out a deep chuckle and Y/n couldn't refrain from laughing as well. " You know nothing stops Father from enjoying a good meal " Thor pitched in and bumped Loki on his shoulder with his. " Or any meal for that matter! " Y/n's comment was definitely the cherry on top because they all busted out into laughter so loud that the guards in the hall looked at them with confusion as to what might be so funny.
After laughs died down they made their way down another hall and began speaking in hushed whispers. " Now is quite late, but we will have to discuss our plan of action towards our marriage tomorrow " Loki grimaced at the mere thought, or better yet the remainder of her marriage to Thor. He'd have to be in the deep depths of Hel before he allowed it. " Most certainly brother " Loki nodded seemingly lost in thought as he trailed behind them with his hands clasped behind his back. Y/n stared at him briefly in worry, knowing these conversations always made Loki uncomfortable. " Perhaps we could talk it over tea tomorrow? Will you be busy at noon? " This time, her attention was directed at Thor and he shook his head at her question. " I don't believe so, I have to make some last-minute preparations with Father and then I'm free " She nodded with contentment at his answer and looked back for Loki's response. " I'll be free as well after our lessons with Mother. Perhaps she could join us as well since I'm sure she's well aware of our situation " Having finally reached the door to her chambers, they all stopped. " Sounds like a plan then! I hope you both rest well " Thor ruffled the top of her hair lightly and wished her goodnight. Before parting to his won chambers as well, Loki slightly brushed his hand against hers. " Good night Dove, I shall see you at Mother's lessons. Don't oversleep this time " She opened her door with butterflies in her stomach and rolled her eyes at him. " It was only once, now good night "
...
Their lessons with Frigga were always her favorite. The Queen resembled the mother she so desperately longed for and her care made Y/n's heart swell. She also enjoyed her lessons because her favorite prince was always there and in front of Frigga they had nothing to hide.
" That would be all for today children. Good job " Her majesty sat back on the plush sofa with her teacup in hand. Loki sat next to Y/n, taking slow sips from his own teacup. " Thank you as always for your time Frigga "
Said-woman smiled kindly at her and looked over at her son whom she had a silent conversation through mere gazes. " It is always my pleasure dear. I do wish to know, if I may how you are...you know with everything coming up "
Both Loki and Y/n shifted uncomfortably in their seats at the question. Y/n didn't mean to be rude, especially not to the woman she considered her own mother. Besides, she knew she meant well.
" Might I be honest with you mother? " The woman nodded with a smile at the endearing nickname that spoke of the level of their relationship.
" I feel as good as I can I suppose. Thor is great, he always has been but I just do not see him as a partner " She stopped and looked up at the Allmother for any hint of anger or resentment. When she found none, she continued.
" Thor is like a brother to me, and so I simply cannot find myself wishing to marry him. I'm sure you're aware that the feeling is mutual, but we fear what the Allfather may say "
Frigga nodded quietly in understanding and her eyes momentarily fleeted to her son's before resting back on Y/n.
" Yes, dear I am aware...But is there anyone else whom you see as a partner? "
She looked over at Loki and Y/n could already feel his burning gaze on the side of her head. She had almost forgotten he was in the room to begin with, with how quiet he'd been.
" w-w-why yes, there is a certain god... "
At this, she allowed her eyes to look over at the emerald green ones and caught the mischievous smirk on his lips. Of course, they each knew of their feelings for each other. Not because either one of them had confessed but because their actions throughout the years and the small moments they spent together spoke louder than any words that could ever be spoken. Thor would often say that it was impossible for anyone else to not notice the clear love they had for each other since you could simply see it from how they would gaze at one another.
Her cheeks turned a bright pink and she turned back to look at the Allmother as she covered her face behind taking a sip of her tea.
With a bright smile, the Queen leaned closer and placed her hand on both her son's and Y/n's shoulders.
" Fear not my dears, for it was always meant to be this way. My visions always told me. I know you wish to be together and it will happen! Nothing can get in between love, not even my stubborn husband. I will see to it that this wedding be called off "
Y/n looked over at Loki and saw the same joy swirling in his green eyes. She thanked the Allmother countless times and smothered her in hugs before the woman had to go attend to diplomatic matters. This left Y/n and Loki alone.
Y/n nervously sipped her tea again and fiddled with her hands after placing her cup down. A few minutes passed and Loki softly trapped her hands in his.
" There is nothing to be nervous about sweet Dove. Now what do you say we take a stroll around the gardens? "
...
Walking with Loki was surely one of her favorite things to do. She reveled in his calm nature and funny stories as if she hadn't been there to experience them with him and Thor. They laughed together as they remembered the many pranks they'd put on Thor and each other as children. They reached on of the clearings engulfed in bushes and sat to talk and enjoy the summer breeze on a bench.
" I never understood...and to this day I still don't "
She glanced over at him in confusion
" What it is that you see in me. I never understood...and to be honest, I still don't "
She shifted closer to him so that their arms were touching and turned over to face him completely
" You were and are always there for me. I was a child in a whole new realm with no familiar faces or friends. I felt abandoned by my parents and sad to leave my home, but then you were there. You cheered me up with magic and tricks and you took care of me while I was sick. No matter how much I pushed you away, you never left my side. You stood up for me always, regardless of the consequence and you always tried to show me the bright side of things. You make me feel loved Loki. You show me that without even having to say it. So, yes. You're a lying, conniving, silver tongue, annoying-
He rolled his eyes
" Woah woah I get it, I get it "
She fixed him a stern look
" I'm not finished. Irritating, selfish, bastard sometimes but that's why I love you and I will continue to do so until I take my last breath. And even if you run out of love for me, I'll tie you up in my room and you'll never be able to leave "
She smiled warmly and kissed his cheek. He smirked as wrapped his arms around her waist.
" How could I ever fall out of love for you my sweet Dove? "
This time it was his turn to kiss her cheek, then her forehead, and finally her lips. After pulling away for air he flashed her his signature smirk once again.
" Although the idea of being tied up in your room doesn't sound bad at all darling "
She pushed at his chest as he leaned in for another breathtaking kiss
" Ugh, you perv "
" I love you too Darling "