Human Life
Batman walked into the bank with his hands up. Silently, all the hostages took notice of him and Mr. Freeze, who had been distracted for a moment, looked back to see him come through the main door, through which he had intended to allow the hostages to escape, provided he finished with the robbery in time. He was not amused. His regard was as colder than the air around him.
“Some manner of trick, Batman?” he asked.
“Not really. I’m just not a fan of brilliant minds such as yours having to turn to bank robbery when all you want is the chance to do medical research that would potentially save more lives than just your wife’s. I’ll go ahead and say that I’m not the regular Batman; I’m an interim, and I don’t think it’s very wise for me to have to deal with you at the same time as everything else I’ve got going on- so I’ll make this quick. If you go to prison and opt for community service, you will effectively be an employee of Wayne Enterprises until your research is complete. I have some strings to pull in the justice system to where I can realistically accomplish all this.”
“Are you serious?” Freeze asked, seeming to experience a rush of emotion if the twitches on his face were any indication. “If this is another cruel trick, I can always kill one of the hostages just to prove I’m serious-”
“I can prove I’m serious too,” he said, getting out a phone and tossing it across the room. The hostage taker caught it without particular effort and held it up to his ear. The voice of Bruce Wayne averred that he would comply with Batman’s wishes, and then there was the sound of the call disconnecting. “Think about it like this for a minute. I might just be a temp, but I’ve been hired to get the job done. I can’t just lie about this kind of thing, because then I’d never be able to make deals again. It’s the same with Wayne. Imagine how many clients he’d lose if he had no integrity; there are all these witnesses-”
“Anyone would forgive him for saying whatever was necessary to talk down a bank robber with hostages,” Mr. Freeze argued, interrupting.
“That’s not how integrity works. You can’t just tell the truth when it’s convenient for you or when you don’t have any other commitments. I think the Wayne family has been in this city long enough to know that you’re not going to be the last bank robber, but I really hope you’re the last one with postgraduate credentials. I don’t know how to help if this is what you want, but I don’t think it is. So, I’m giving you a chance to prove that you’re really not that bad of a guy.”
“Are you saying you’ll deal with the police and Wayne is going to negotiate with the court?”
It was a promising line of conversation, that the mad scientist wanted him to clarify what exactly he was promising. The Batman had no sway with those who dealt with any of the finer points of law; if he were ever to say he had a good relationship with the criminal justice system, he would be talking about how the police allowed him to look around crime scenes, and, on occasion, interrogate suspects. He knew, however, that prisons basically funded themselves by selling the labor to random industries, so it could not be unheard of for Wayne Enterprises to make an offer to the city of Gotham, and if he offered to get Freeze away from the other prisoners, they had a good chance of accepting.
The police came in as soon as the hostages were released, arresting the would-be bank robber before he could make off with anything. Peter was not exactly sure how much money there was to steal, since the tellers only kept around five thousand each behind the counter, and then there was no exact certainty about the vault; it could be loaded with valuables; it could have basically nothing in there. For the most part, banks stored their wealth electronically, which was to say that businesses showed them their workers’ paystubs and they just credited money to the account, debiting from the bank account for payroll. Unless a bank robber was skilled with computers and managed to bypass the security on the system, and then wired the money to an overseas account, there was basically nothing to get from inside the bank; as soon as the silent alarm was pressed, as far as he was aware, the bank would be unable to transfer money at all.
He was not certain how he knew any of that.
It must be like we thought, where I was some kind of hero type who regularly stopped armed robbers. In the midst of his speculation, Mr. Freeze was led away by the police, who were thanking him for resolving the situation without any complications. Really, the only difficult thing was convincing them that I wouldn’t just become another hostage myself. I also insisted that the sniper delete his phone records after letting me borrow it to help me with the trick. I don’t think he realizes my secret identity if he doesn’t know what I did, and I could have always been putting on a ‘Bruce Wayne’ voice.
As he walked out of the bank and went back to the advance base, he thought there were probably some who were disappointed not to see a violent confrontation, but he had not expected that Alfred of all people would have left no fewer than three messages on the console down there, which for a man so committed to British understatement, was decidedly unusual. Checking them, he was almost immediately patched into a voice call.
“Master Peter, the Batman cannot be seen to negotiate with violent criminals.”
“He had hostages within an inch of their lives; there was nothing I could do. Besides, I said that I was a temp, which they would have figured out, so they won’t expect the same thing from the real Bruce when he gets back.”
“Is he at least being punished for his actions?”
“I mean, that’s not really my primary concern, but yeah, he’ll have to be in prison for the rest of his life; he’s just being given an opportunity to get some research done at the same time. Even if he cures his wife’s illness, they’re not going to go on a second honeymoon somewhere. He’s still going to have to pay for putting all those people in danger and I don’t think the judge would even accept anything else.”
It was a conversation that he had expected to have at some point. He knew that Bruce had a different perspective on crime and punishment than he did, and it was somewhat more contentious than their opinions on Dostoyevsky. There had been no point where he was trying to completely overhaul everything that had been accomplished so far, because he knew that he was a tyro to fighting injustice in Gotham, but he also knew that he had values and could accept that sometimes they would not be the same as Batman’s.
At the moment, he was more concerned with the fact that he had revealed that there was more than one of man who could wear the suit, having said that he was a temp. Basically, he had partially invalidated any attempt Bruce had made in the past to be photographed right next to his other identity, which he was sure had happened at least once. Simultaneously, he could not just have the Wayne heir make another appearance to confirm that he was not the temp either, not that it would improve anything. There was nothing else I could really do, though. I couldn’t just let the hostages die, and I couldn’t just act like I was the same guy.
It would be all over the news that there was a different man in the suit, and he would have to write an apology letter to the original, in case they ever switched back. If not, it was actually something of a relief; it made things simpler rather than more complicated, as far as he had come already. Basically, he had spent so much time learning about his new situation that if he knew anything, it was that he did not want to have to go through it all again, especially not if that included trying to figure out what all Bruce had done in his world. To be sure, he was living a life that another man had built, but he could get used to that at some point. How important is my central nature, anyway? Is it really that crucial for me to have a life that matches with it?
“Hey, Alfred, you said we’ve dealt with body swappers before.”
“They are a most difficult lot, to put it plainly. Our allies with metahuman abilities find themselves out of place in a normal human body, and frequently the normal humans find they cannot effectively use their newfound strengths. If a body swapper is allowed to run amok long enough without being taken down, the entire team would be substantially weakened.”
“Huh. Yeah, I’d have to say that sounds pretty bad. I’ve only just gotten used to being Batman; I can’t imagine if I had to switch again. What is it that they normally switch? Memories? Experience?”
“For this sort of exchange to be possible, we must essentially presume that a soul exists. A comforting notion for some, a worrying one for others. I cannot imagine that a single cell in your body, including your brain, is any different than before, after all.”
“Yeah, and it definitely didn’t move... well, I don’t know if it didn’t move my memories, I remembered what my name was. I think you’re right, though, the only way for me to have some identity that doesn’t match my brain is if a soul exists. I’m starting to think that it doesn’t really contain memories, but it’s shaped by them. If I ever remember something from the other world, it’s not like the things I remember from the last few days, it’s like a secondhand memory.”
“Interesting.”
It was an unusual pause. They had only just been talking about body swappers and he would have thought the next place to go with it was how to defeat them, so he assumed the butler had something on his mind. The call disconnected before he could ask what it was.
Don’t worry, Alfred. We’ll get your old boss back. I just have to work out exactly what happened.
Going out of the advance base on foot, he felt like a walk would clear his head; he was wearing his anonymous outfit that would probably deflect suspicion. It was strange; though he did not know much about what he did as a superhero, it felt unfamiliar. Well, I’m not just clearing my head. I’ve also got something I want to check.
Walking to a theater where a magic show was just about to be put on, he sorted through what he had learned of the Justice League. She should want to help me, as long as she’s able. I just don’t know how to talk to her because I don’t know her personally. Should I just admit to everything? Would she find out anyway?
Peter went around the back of the theater and looked around for a moment before stuffing the jacket and pants into a backpack, which he left in the alley as he adjusted the cowl and put on the gauntlets, grabbing onto the fire escape with the assistance of magnets he had embedded into the palms. Climbing up quietly, he realized that as long as he was dealing with a virtually all-powerful magician, she had to be aware that her weakness involved being blitzed from a position of stealth. She might have traps lying around, then. I just... I should contact her directly, and if that doesn’t work, we can move on from there.
”Zatannna,” he said into the Justice League communicator. “Did you hear about Zalmoxis?”
“I heard that you took care of him.”
“He got away with more than we realized. We’re also still tracking him down.” It was taxing trying to imitate Bruce’s basic speech pattern, even when he only had secondhand information about it. “One of our allies was body-swapped, apparently trans-dimensionally.”
“You?” Damn. I could’ve sworn I was on point with that impression.
“I was... trying not to worry you.”
“Batman wouldn’t have. That said, I’m not worried. Once we find Zalmoxis, I’m confident that we can reverse the effects. You’ll gain an idea of my ability to reverse things if you stay and watch the show.”
“How did you know I was here?”
“I didn’t.” He could practically hear her smiling.
“Well, believe it or not, you’re the nicest and least deceptive person I’ve met in Gotham so far.”
“Do I have to switch you back? I like funny men.”
“Well, I hope you like men who keep secrets from you.”
She only laughed and disconnected. That was a weird laugh. Did I touch a nerve or something?
His other communicator was beeping and he connected to find that Barbara was trying to get in touch with him. I shouldn’t call her by her name, though; I don’t know where she is. Her tone of voice was worse than a scream, somehow.
“Batman, precisely what did you think you were doing offering Mr. Freeze a job?”
“He’s still going to prison,” he said. “It’s just a matter of what he’s doing while there, like Poison Ivy.”
“Were you advised to inform all the criminals in the city that we have an interim Dark Knight who lacks another way of dealing with a hostage situation?”
“What would he have done?”
“He would have used an electronic disruptor on the hostage taker’s technology-”
“What if Freeze had a gun?”
“What?”
“What if he just had a regular gun and shot one of the hostages the minute he lost his temperature-based leverage?” He shook his head, not that she could see it. “You weren’t there. I know it’s a risk if I show mercy to a bad guy, but I wasn’t doing that because I knew for certain he was a good guy at heart, even if I think there’s a chance he could be reformed; I was doing it because it was the best way to ensure that the hostages got out of there alive.” He sighed. “I might be a bit younger than the man you know, but I’m probably older than you and I’ve probably been at this game longer, even if I don’t remember everything. Don’t treat me like I’m naïve or something.”
There was a pause. He could hear the sound of the show starting in the main part of the building.
“For the record, I checked through the police database and there hasn’t been any sign of Zalmoxis. If he had been fleeing in a panic, it would have been an easy task for the commissioner to track him down, so we can assume he had an escape route planned.”
“Did he want this? Did he want me to swap with the other guy?”
“That’s something we never considered.” Barbara sighed. “We can reasonably say that he didn’t want you to destroy the machine he was building, but in all the data that survived, there’s no evidence that he ever tested it.”
“He couldn’t test it on himself... and he knew that Batman would go after him. I’m starting to think that part of the reason that we didn’t find any theories about how it was supposed to work was because he already evacuated it; the last thing he wanted to do with the machine was see if it worked on me.”
“Yes, and you might as well have told him-”
“You would have done the same thing if he died, though,” Peter asserted. “He doesn’t know what effect the machine had, only that it did something to the Batman; that doesn’t really prove that it worked as intended. Since we don’t know what he wanted, we really don’t know if this is it.”
“I suppose. At the moment, I just want you to understand that if you don’t demonstrate ability and strike fear into the hearts of criminals as the interim, people are going to think you’re weak; it’s as simple as that.”
It seemed like the wrong time to mention that he really did not have Bruce’s martial arts training, nor did he have the same skills as a detective. He had the tools, but learning how to use those effectively was about as hard as learning to use fists and feet effectively if not worse. It felt like yet again he was sabotaging the relatively good crime rate that Batman had worked to achieve, and it was in a way that he had not even considered. How many criminals were never exactly caught, but just scared away from the prospect of illegal activity by the bump in the night that he represented?
“I’ve got something in a few minutes. Thanks for the warning...”
“Batgirl,” she said.
“We must’ve come up with that one a few years ago.”
There was no response. He supposed that there was a vaguely defined range of time in which a young woman would respond to ‘girl’, and no one was quite sure when it was time to start using ‘woman’. With young men, he was pretty sure it was ‘man’ at eighteen and not a second later. Well, I get the idea that she’s a bit younger than Zatanna, but I really don’t know how old she is either. It seems like she’s genuinely capable of magic.
He took his lack of surprise to mean that he already knew magic was real. That was not a comforting thought, somehow. Though he was aware of all the potential risks out there in the universe, and all the risks advanced technology brought with it, at least he knew them, or could in some way predict what was possible and work on ways to theoretically protect the world from them. Magic was in an entirely different dimension. There was no predicting it. There was no understanding it. That was, in essence, what made it magic.
As he sought to get a better position, the better to see the show, he had a thought to climb along the walls; it was quite rare that people checked the ceilings for interlopers and quite common for there to be metal joists and beams in modern buildings, so the magnetic gauntlets and books worked well. Crawling along a short hallway and then out to the area above the stage, he was grateful this version of the costume did not include a cape; it would have been hanging down in a way that made him more obvious from a distance. The difference was almost irrelevant, since all the lights in the room were pointing at the performing magician. I think that’s an old stage trick to keep the audience from realizing what they’re doing behind the scenes, not that Zatanna needs any help.
Peter wondered if anyone in the audience was aware that they were watching real magic; they had to know she was a member of the Justice League and yet they were clapping as if they were witnessing feats of sheer cleverness and sleight of hand. He was sure that magic was not easy to learn, not at the level she was using it, but it still seemed disproportionate. It was like clapping for a photographer taking pictures. Maybe I’m crossing over into cynical territory. Maybe they don’t really care how she’s doing the trick, and it’s impressive all the same.
From the audience there was a red light. He tried to react quickly enough as he saw it, but if he missed with the Batclaw, he could hurt someone. Zatanna was in the middle of inviting someone on stage when he tried to warn her with the communicator, and that was when he realized the normal-looking man on stage was the threat, right as he extended his hand to shake hers, which she must have done a thousand times in her career, he put a Red Lantern ring on her finger before the Batclaw could reach him. Once it was already too late, red hard light blocked the tool.
“Everyone out!” Zatanna shouted, realizing the situation. There was one from the crowd who remained, a female alien taking off her hat to reveal her ghostly skin and a ring of her own. “Batman, that includes you. They have me hostage, effectively.”
“Yes, Batman, wherever you are,” the man on the stage called out in a British accent. “We’ll see if you know how to stay out of things.”
To say that he was in a bind was an understatement, but he could not waste time thinking about all the ins and outs of things. The magician was incredibly powerful, and in most cases he would be dead weight in a fight between her and a pair of lanterns even if he still had to try, but as long as she was wearing the ring, could they just kill her at any time? For her to say she was a hostage, she had to have no simple magic trick to get it off. Fortunately, with the Batclaw having retracted, he was hidden, but they could turn the place upside down if they wanted.
“This doesn’t get out, Batman,” the alien demanded. “You never saw us here, and no one else did either. We know how important you and this witch are to the local crime fighting club, and if you interfere with our investigation, you both die.”
He wanted to shout that he had no way to ensure that no one else would find out about their presence, but their demands of him might just be a way to discover his location. As long as they had Zatanna as a hostage, they might decide they did not particularly need to keep him alive, though they would bring the rest of the Lantern Corps down on them. That’s the last thing we want; that’s even worse than just the reds being here.
Batman determined that since he could secretly contact the Justice League, and they could probably get rid of his body with their rings, killing him ultimately made more sense, but even if he did reach out to them, he had no idea how to handle the situation. Of course, the reds showing up on Earth was something that they would have to tackle themselves and he hardly had any way of stopping them, but it was in Gotham, which was supposed to be his own neck of the woods. Bruce had a specific way of doing things that was more informed and evidently more effective than what anyone else would be doing, and Peter would basically be costing him his autonomy if he turned the problem over to the League.
He remained silent, and decided he would remain silent longer than that. It was entirely possible that they were aware of his communications with the Green Lanterns; he did not know how else they could have decided Gotham was the perfect place to take a hostage, so even if he wanted to reach out to someone, he would have to do it differently, and he would have to choose carefully. Going to the wrong entity for help could cost Zatanna her life; there were many who would simply sacrifice her in order to punish the Red Lanterns for going ahead with an unauthorized investigation.
They already know, though, that I’m not one of them.