Peter was babysitting Morgan at the lake house since Pepper was out of town and Tony was in a meeting. Everything was going great, they had had an imaginary tea party in her room, all her stuffed animals attended; and they were now having PB&J’s for lunch. The two had gotten very close in the year since the final snap.
“Let’s go outside!!” Morgan said excitedly while pulling Peter by the hand towards the back door as soon as they finished eating.
“Alright, alright.” Peter laughed as he let himself be led out. “What do you want to play?”
“Spiny!!” Morgan squealed as she let go of him and started spinning in the grass. It was a game where you spin until you fall down. First to fall loses.
“Nuhuh, nope.” Peter said, stopping her gently, “Last time you played that right after eating you threw up.” Morgan made a pouty face with puppy dog eyes. Peter laughed, “Sorry, I invented that look and it only works on your dad.” Morgan giggled at that, but then frowned again.
“Fine.” she huffed, then she started skipping, “we can just do this.” She said with a huge grin on her face. Peter smiled fondly at her. “I love to skip!!!” She called out.
It was an innocent sentence. One of the most innocent sentences anyone could ever say, especially coming out of Morgan’s mouth, but it made Peter go ridged. The smile he had instantly dropped.
“Skip with me Petey!” She yelled.
Peter didn’t move, he couldn’t move, his eyes blurred with unshed tears.
Morgan didn’t notice and just kept trying to get Peter to play, “Come one Petey skip!”
He was frozen, stuck between the present and a flashback.
Morgan was getting frustrated so she screamed, “Skip!!!!”.
That’s all it took, everything rushed back to him.
———
He was no longer in Tony’s backyard, he was in his room and was eight years old again. Skip Westcott loomed over him. “Hey Einstein, let's do some experimenting of our own.” An evil smirk on his face.
Distantly he heard another voice, a much higher, scared voice. But it sounded muffled and far away. He could only make out a couple words as all his attention was on the man that haunted his nightmares.
———
“Petey?” Morgan’s voice trembled a bit as she slowed down and finally noticed his hollow look, eyes glistening with salt water, “Petey what’s wrong? Is it your spidey tingle?” She whispered the last part. Peter didn’t answer. “Petey, I'm scared.” She said as she tugged on his limp hand. Nothing.
———
Peter felt Skip tug his hand and then pin both of them down on the bed.
———
Morgan was young but had a good memory, she remembered her dad saying if she was ever in trouble to press the button on her watch for a few seconds. She didn’t know if there was trouble, she couldn’t see any, but it looked like Peter needed help, so she pressed it down. Her eyes also now blurred with tears as she stared at her unresponsive brother, but unlike his, her tears did fall.
Not even ten seconds later Tony’s worried voice came through the watch. “Morgan? Morgan are you ok? Where’s Peter?!”
“Daddy? Petey needs help.” She said, her voice shaky and scared.
———
Peter wanted to scream for help, but Skip put a hand over his mouth. The other was still holding his wrists.
———
“What? What’s going on, is he alright?” Tony said frantically.
“He won’t talk to me.” She cried
———
“Talk to me Einstein” Skip slowly took his hand off Peter’s mouth, making sure he wasn’t going to scream for help. “Tell me how much you love it.”
———
Tony’s voice came out panicky while also trying to not scare Morgan, “Why won’t he talk to you, is he sleeping?” He meant unconscious but wasn’t sure if Morgan would understand.
“No,” Morgan sniffled, “his eyes are open, but won’t look at me.”
———
Peter shook his head and shut his eyes tight, too afraid to talk, “Open your eyes Pete, look at me.” Skip’s voice was eerily gentle unlike his actions.
———
Tony's suit was already appearing around him, the nanotech coming out from his watch. He only used the suit for absolute emergencies now. Since the snap he stopped being Iron man and just focused on being a husband and father. “Ok honey, can you stay with him? I’ll be there really soon.”
“Ok.” her response was soft and frightened, “I’m scared, is Petey going to be ok?” She whispered.
———
“Don’t pretend you're scared, I know you love it.” Skip said with a cruel smile as Peter once again shook his head as words failed him.
———
What was Tony supposed to say, he had no idea what was going on, but he just had to try and keep her calm, “Yes, he’ll be ok, just stay with him. You're helping him just by being there sweetie” Obviously he didn’t want Morgan to see Peter like that, but the alternative was both of them being alone. He put everything he had into his thrusters.
“Ok daddy”
He could still hear Morgan sniff every so often as she cried. A few minutes passed and he was going crazy, “Has anything with Pete changed sweetheart?”
“No”
———
“Tell me you love it sweetheart.” Skip said.
Peter finally found his voice, broken and hoarse, “No, I don’t, please stop!”
———
“Alright, you're doing so well, I’m almost there, just another minute okay?” Tony encouraged her.
“Okay”
A minute later Morgan saw Tony’s suit and felt the air from his thrusters on her face as he landed in front of her.
———
Peter felt Skip's heavy breaths in his face as he panted.
———
As soon as he touched down Tony’s suit started to disappear, the nanotech returning to his watch. He took in the sight before him, Morgan with tear streaks, some dried some fresh, on her face standing next to a motionless unblinking Peter. Morgan ran to him and he immediately enveloped her in a hug picking her up. He felt tears wet his shirt as she cried into his shoulder. “What’s wrong with Petey?!”
———
“What’s wrong Einstein?” Skip said with a smile as he wiped the tears on his face. Still he didn’t stop.
———
“I don’t know, but I’m going to help him.” Tony said in a strained voice not taking his eyes off Peter. “Sweetie?” Tony asked.
Morgan hiccuped but relied, “Yeah?” as she lifted her head ever so slightly off of Tony's shoulder.
Tony didn’t know what would happen when he snapped Peter out of his trance, whether he would fall to the ground, fight him, or something worse. Either way, he didn’t want Morgan to see it or be there if something bad happened. “Can you do me a favor honey? Can you go over to your swings and swing facing away from us, put your fingers in your ears, and hum your favorite song?” He still needed to be able to keep an eye on her.
“I don’t want to leave Petey.” She cried.
_____
Everytime it happened Peter would cry, “I don’t want to Skip!” but he never listened.
_____
Tony held her tighter, “I know, I know munchkin, but I need to talk to Pete alone, ok.” His voice was gentle but strained.
“Ok.” she said softly as Tony put her down.
“Thank you.“ Tony added. She wiped her nose with her sleeve and started walking over to the swings slowly. It was an odd sight as Tony had only ever seen her run excitedly towards them, until now. As soon as she was sitting with her back to them with her fingers in her ears and humming, Tony turned his attention back to Peter.
“Peter?” Tony said worriedly, but got no response. Peter just stared with glazed eyes devoid of emotion. “Peter?!” he tried again, this time louder.
_____
“Peter?” Peter heard Skip say as he hid in his closet, “Come out, come out wherever you are, I just want to play.” Peter held his breath so Skip wouldn’t hear him. “Peter?!”
_____
Since Peter wasn’t responding to him talking, Tony knew he had to try to shake him out of it, but that could be dangerous for both of them. He didn’t see another way though. He hesitantly reached for Peter’s arms, Tony’s right arm still had visible veins from the snap, but worked better than it had at the beginning of recovery. He grasped Peter by his biceps. Shanking him gently.
_____
Peter felt Skip grab him by the arms in a bruising grip once he found him in the closet. Shaking him angrily.
____
It wasn’t working, Tony started shaking him harder while saying, “Peter, Pete, snap out of it.”
The first reaction was what Tony had worried about, Peter started to fight, no recognition in his eyes. What Tony did not expect was Peter's scared heartbreaking words, “No, no! Please stop!” Peter thought Tony was trying to hurt him. Peter was fighting, punching weakly, but with his super strength the punches still hurt. Tony tried to keep him at arms length but still tried to shake him out of it. “Peter!” he said as Peter still fought.
“Please I don't want to!!” He cried out.
“Peter, it’s me, Tony!” He yelled. At that Peter’s punches slowed, recognition slowly seeped into his eyes. It was working so Tony kept going, his voice trembling a bit, ”It’s me Pete. It’s me Tony, you're safe.”
Peter finally blinked, as awareness of his surroundings came back, “Tony?” His voice was small and child-like. Sometimes Tony forgets that Peter is still a child, a hero, but also a child.
“Yeah, kid. I’m here, you're safe.” With that Peter’s knees buckled as he started to sob. Tony caught him and lowered them both to sit on the ground, Peter crying into his chest. “Hey, hey, you're ok. I’ve got you.” Tony soothed as he ran a hand through Peter's mop of curls. They sat there for a while, Peter crying, Tony soothing, and Morgan still swinging.
As Peter’s sobs slowed and he could think more clearly he jerked up, surprising Tony, “Oh god! Morgan!”
“Hey, it’s ok, she’s right over there. She’s ok.” Tony pointed to Morgan on the swings.
Peter looked relieved but started crying a little more, “I- I’m so sorry Mr. Stark. I’m sorry!”
“Hey, none of that. Morgan's fine and you’re ok, that’s all that matters. This was not your fault.” Granted Tony didn’t know what had happened, but he was positive it wasn’t Peter’s fault.
After Peter calmed down once more he started to talk, “I owe you an explanation, I-”
Tony cut him off, “First off, you owe me nothing.” Tony said making eye contact with Peter. “And second, you can tell me if you want to, but you don’t have to.” Of course Tony wanted to know, but he wasn’t going to force Peter.
Peter never talked about it, although it weighed on him, but he always pushed it to the back of his mind. He wanted the weight to be lifted, or at least some of it, and he trusted Tony with his life. He has literally saved Peter countless times, “I want to tell you, but first I want to make sure Morgan is okay, I know I scared her.”
Tony looked at Peter’s red rimmed puffy eyes and smiled, he was such a good brother. “She’ll be fine as soon as she sees you’re okay,” relatively okay he thought, the words Peter had first said still burned into the forefront of his mind, “But I understand, let's go get her.”
Tony helped Peter up and they walked over to her, Morgan was still humming and swinging. They walked to the back where Morgan was facing, as soon as she spotted Peter she jumped off the swings in excitement and relief. Luckily Peter’s reflexes were fast, he caught her mid air. Tony had a mini heart attack watching, but knew Peter would never let anything bad happen to her.
“Hey princess,” Peter said as soon as he caught her. Morgan immediately wrapped her arms around his neck hugging tight.
“Petey, you’re okay!” She said into his neck.
“Yeah, yeah I’m ok.” Peter said, hugging her back, “I’m sorry I scared you.” he whispered.
“It’s okay.” She whispered back “I guess you just don’t like to skip.”
Peter went rigid again, but didn’t slip into another flashback. The weight of Morgan in his arms grounding him. Tony was confused as he watched the interaction, noticing Peter stiffen at her sentence, but did not say anything. He would ask later if Peter still wanted to discuss what happened. “Yeah, guess not.” He said shakily.
They all made their way into the house and Tony made dinner. They ate as Morgan told Tony all about her and Peter’s tea party earlier that day. Tony smiled as he listened to his daughter ramble on and on, glancing at Peter ever so often to make sure he was okay. Peter picked up on this and gave Tony a small, not super convincing, smile every time he looked his way. Once they both tucked Morgan into bed, after Tony told her a Spider-Man story, Peter acting it out as Tony talked and Morgan giggling all the way through, Peter and Tony went back downstairs.
Peter sat down on the couch, followed soon by Tony after he had made two cups of hot cocoa. He handed one to Peter and sat next to him, but kept a little distance in case he needed some space. They sat in silence for a while, Tony didn’t push, he was patient as he waited for Peter to start. “I don’t know what happened.”
Tony still stayed silent as he let Peter put his thoughts together, “Morgan and I were playing and then she said one sentence that made me freeze. It wasn't a bad sentence, but I just felt paralyzed.”
Tony nodded. After a few minutes of silence, his curiosity won as he asked, “Can I ask what the sentence was?” Still, of course, giving Peter the choice to stop the conversation.
There was a hint of fear in Peter's eyes as he put the mug of hot cocoa on the table and then sat back bringing his knees to his chest and uttered the sentence, “She said, ‘I love to s-s-skip’.”
The stutter on only the one word was not lost on Tony, especially after he saw Peter stiffen when Morgan had said “I guess you just don’t like to skip.”
They sat in silence once again until Tony broke it, “Do you want to tell me why that sentence scared you? Or specifically why that one word did?” Tony knew Peter would understand, even without him saying which word he was talking about. He didn’t want to say the word out loud in fear of setting Peter off again.
Peter took a shaky breath as he started, “When I was eight years old I had a babysitter.” Tony nodded but stayed quiet, “His name was Skip.” And just like that the puzzle pieces started to fit together. Tony almost didn’t want to hear what Peter had to say next, since he was pretty sure he already knew what it was, although he prayed he was wrong. Still he stayed silent giving Peter the space to continue. “He was really nice at first, but then something changed, he started to touch-” Peter cut himself off with a sob.
Tony was just about to wrap Peter in a hug when he stopped himself and pulled back, “Peter, can I hug you?” He knew there was a chance Peter didn’t want to be touched. He had to ask, no matter how hard it was to watch his son cry on the other side of the couch, his mind begging him to wrap Peter up in a safe warm embrace. Peter looked up at him with a tear stained face, he opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Instead he uncurled himself from his ball and nodded fervently. Tony immediately closed the distance between them and held Peter as he cried. After a while Peter found his voice again and tried to pull away, “I’m sorry, it was so long ago, it’s stupid.”
Tony just held him tighter, not letting him go, “It is not stupid Peter. I’m so- God I’m so sorry that ever happened to you.” He didn’t realize until his voice broke that he too was crying. They just sat together crying until Tony once again spoke, “Did you ever tell anyone?”
“Yeah, after a few months,” Tony’s eyes widened as Peter said ‘a few months,’ “I told May and Ben. Well actually I didn’t tell them, they found out after I forgot to hide the clothes I had worn with him one day.” Tony was going to be sick, he didn't want to think about what that implied.
“A few months, God kiddo, I-” Tony cut himself off as he tried to steady his voice. Anger suddenly replaced his demeanor as he thought about he man who did this, “Please tell me he-”
“He’s in jail.” Peter said as a little relief washed over Tony. “I don't know why it all came back today. Morgan wasn’t even talking about him.”
“No, but she said a word that made you remember. It’s called a trigger, a lot of people have them. The problem is they don’t know what they are until it’s too late usually.” Tony said with a sigh.
Peter looked up at him confused, “How do you know?”
Another sigh, “Because kiddo, I have a few triggers myself that I have learned over the years.” Peter's eyes went wide in realization, but Tony gave him a reassuring smile, “The good thing is that now that you know it triggers you, you can try to avoid it by letting people around you know what the words or things are that set you off, or I can do it for you of course. Sometimes it’s hard to avoid, and I will warn you that it might happen again, but you can at least try to limit your exposure to them now.”
Peter seems to think something over for a minute, and Tony patiently waits, “Can I ask what your triggers are? You don't have to tell me of course!” He quickly adds.
Tony smiles down fondly at him, “Of course bud. I usually don't have a problem telling people. They mostly set me off if they’re said and I'm not expecting it. Of course that could be different for others, including yourself. Which is why, if you want me to, I would be happy to tell others if you feel you can't.” Peter nodded thankfully and waited for Tony to continue, “The ones I have noted over the years are, Afghanistan, shrapnel, and… wormhole.'' The last one is a little more strained as he remembers his first anxiety attack with Rhodey.
Peter seems to notice this as he tightens his grip on Tony as he says, “Thanks for telling me.” Tony smiles and also tightens his hold on Peter. They sit there in comfortable silence for so long that they both fall asleep.
Tony wakes up in the morning to Peter asleep on his chest, a soft smile formed on his lips as his heart swells. Although it can be hard, he loves being a father more than anything else he has ever done. He will be there for his kids through the good and bad and through the hard and easy. Yesterday was hard, but together they got through it and now he knows what to be careful of. Today he will make time to have the trigger word conversation with Morgan. She is very smart for her age so Tony’s pretty sure she’ll understand.
He looks down again, love overtaking him. Peter trusts him and that’s all that matters.