Ellie's Return
Jackson was in sight, Ellie sighs in relief, maybe another hour of walking. She remembers when she and Joel first came back after Salt Lake, and Joel remarked that it was an easy five-hour hike. Now that Jackson is practically in sight, Ellie stops and rummages through her bag looking for something that covers her second bite that mark her as an infected, but not and no one would ask any questions before shooting her if they saw. She remembers thinking as she made to those freaks compound that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if this second bite did what the first couldn’t and turned her, but it didn’t happen and now she was grateful for that. Because she would have the chance to fix what she broke before she left for Santa Barbara.
She wrapped a bandage around her hand, it was a bit clumsy, Ellie still wasn’t used to her mangled fingers. She doesn’t regret letting Abby go, but she does almost wish she had finally been able to see Joel without all the injuries Abby inflicted before she lost her fingers, but now that she could remember Joel as whole and healthy, she felt she might be able to really make a go of a normal life.
Ellie made it to the gate by nightfall and she was let in without much commentary, she wanted to head straight for wherever Dina was, but she also needed a place to sleep tonight, so she asked where Maria was and some guy on duty told her, she was at the Tipsy Bison. Ellie made her way there ignoring the stares and whispers, her had been exactly noticeable, but once you did notice, she guessed it would be a topic of conversation. She found Maria easily enough when she made it into the Tipsy Bison. Ellie watched Maria motion for the people at her table to leave her and they did. Ellie took the last person to stand spot.
“You’re alive,” Maria says in way of greeting.
“That I am,” Ellie agrees.
“Are you back for good?”
“Yea, I think I am.”
“Think or know?”
“I’d go back to the farmhouse, if… well I’m back.”
“And where you’ve been that’s done? I won’t let you back, again. I won’t allow you to treat this as some sort of base camp to leave and do what it is you think you have to do.”
Ellie looks at her mangled hand, “that’s done. There’s nothing for me out there.”
“She’s dead then?” Maria asks, not with judgement in her voice but a genuine curiosity.
“No, but it’s done,” Ellie says and puts a finality on her tone and Maria seems to get that she doesn’t want to discuss this further.
Maria nods accepting Ellie’s words and she looks Ellie over and takes her hand, the one with rag on it, “you need the doctor to check this out?”
Ellie takes her hand back, mindful of the people around, says, “nah. All good. Not my first…chemical burn.”
Maria starts at that, Ellie knew that of all the people, Joel, Tommy, Dina, Maria had always had the hardest time not showing her surprise or disgust. After Joel and Tommy had told Maria, Ellie remembered Maria watching her intently, Ellie wouldn’t have been surprised for weeks after if she had woken up chained, but it never happened.
“Weeks old,” Ellie tells her and Maria nods in understanding and Ellie knows that they will never talk about her hand ever again. Maria prefers to not think about it. When Ellie had begun getting her tattoo from Cat, Maria had gone through the roof, the burn had done a lot to disguise the bite from when she was fourteen, but in some spots, you could still see, if you looked closely enough, the cysts from the bite. Cat had chalked all of it up to the burn and never asked any questions about it.
“Is my…” Ellie breaks off thinking she saw Dina.
“It’s not her,” Maria says gently.
“Phhf, who?” Ellie tries to brush it off, but failing spectacularly, she didn’t need to see Maria’s face to know that. Clearing her throat Ellie asks, “my old place still empty?”
“You aren’t gonna live up at the farmhouse?” Maria asks.
“There isn’t anything there for me, anymore. I messed that up good.”
“Yes, you did,” Maria agrees, “but I think she’d want to know you came back in one piece.”
“More or less,” Ellie jokes waving her mangled hand around.
“She’d want to know,” Maria says, “she’s stay with Jesse’s family. They have been helping her with little JJ.”
“Yea,” Ellie says noncommittally, she remembers Dina telling her she wouldn’t wait for her again, shaking her head she asks, “where’s Tommy? I should tell him that this is over.”
“He’s likely already passed out, find him in the morning,” Maria says bitterly, Ellie nods thinking they haven’t put steps towards reuniting since their separation.
Ellie feeling there isn’t anything more to say gets up from her seat and makes a goodbye and head back out into the night. She finds herself in front of Jesse’s parent’s house, she doesn’t remember making the conscience decision to go there. She was standing there working up the courage to knock or not. She isn’t sure. She wants to tell Dina everything and promise that she wouldn’t ever leave again. Ellie wasn’t sure she had the words to accurately describe what happened in Santa Barbara. Ellie had waited too long the decision was made for her; the door opened to reveal Dina.
“You’re back,” Dina says coolly.
“Yea, uh,” Ellie moves up to the porch and takes something out of her bag, “I found something for JJ on my back,” and handed it over to Dina, it was toy potato and it had lips, one leg, two hands and hat, all of it was removeable. Ellie is pretty sure that Joel would have known what it was called. Ellie holds it out, and Dina takes it.
Dina stares at the potato, then up at Ellie, “is it done? or are you just back because it didn’t pan out?”
“I’m not leaving again. Everything I need to be happy is here. There isn’t anything out there that I need to be happy,” Ellie says.
“If only you had figured that out before you destroyed our family,” Dina says savagely.
Ellie looks down at her shoes, “I don’t think I could have. Beating Abby, letting her go, I can finally see something other than Joel bloodied and broken on that floor. Now I can see him like he was.”
Dina sits with what she has been told not saying anything.
Ellie nods to herself, “I want to fix this. I know it’ll take time, but if you and JJ need me, I’ll be around. Maria said my old place wasn’t being used. I’ll be there.”
“Ellie?” Dina calls out and Ellie turns back to face her, “if you leave again. If you go after her again, don’t ever come back. Not for me. Not for JJ.”
“I told you,” Ellie says quickly, “that’s done.”
“It better be,” Dina says, “just come in. JJ is about to go down, and I’m sure he would love to see you and drool all over your weird potato toy.”
“Are you sure?” Ellie asks not daring to get her hopes up.
“Just come in,” Dina says and holds the door wide open.