The… The.. sorry what was I saying?
Natasha stood next to her, her eyebrows furrowed with concern as she stared at Maria. The sun was bright in the room and she squinted slightly as she took in the scene around her. The first thing she noticed was Ellie in Laura’s arms, and her head pounded and her stomach felt like someone took a baseball bat to it. She bit back an audible gasp as she tried to sit up, finding it to just lay back down.
“We were just worried about you, honey,” Laura's eyes crinkled at the edges as she smiled.
“You okay Ellie?” she looked at the girl who glanced over to Natasha and then Laura before finally nodding.
“Yes, but broke my arm.” A tiny arm raised a deep blue cast up, “but still okay because people can sign it.”
Maria’s stomach plummeted, “wow would you look at that.”
She barely remembered the accident, snow on the road, a stop sign, or maybe a red light, and then- nothing. Maria looked at her daughter once more and then to Natasha who had tiny cuts over a majority of her face. Tears filled her eyes, she caused this.
“I’m okay,” Natasha took her hand and gave it two quick squeezes, “promise. It’s you that we were worried about.”
Maria sat there and listened to what had happened, and the subsequent two surgeries after. Her head swam with “what ifs”, her stomach filled with guilt.
“But Mommy,” Ellie pulled her from her thoughts.
“Yeah bear?” she blinked back tears.
“Lolo going to have another baby!” her daughter exclaimed and she couldn’t help but fill with joy.
“Really?” Maria whipped her head around and looked at the Bartons.
“Really,” Clint nodded, and Laura whipped away tears.
She listened to them explain when they found out and how Natasha was already claiming they were going to name it after her. It was another few minutes of Ellie pointing out how she was going to have Steve paint her cast before pain and exhaustion crept into her field of vision.
“Dominic is working here now, I was thinking of asking him to let Ellie’s teacher know she might not be in class right away when they get back from the break,” Natasha explained, her voice growing distant.
“That might be a good idea, you could let her after-school activities know about it too,” her words came out little more than a whisper, “information’s on my tablet.”
“Tablet got it,” Natasha’s voice sounded distant, “I can-”
Dreamless sleep took her by the hand and pulled her in, Maria was asleep in seconds.
Pepper typed away quickly from where she sat at a table towards the foot of the bed Maria realized she was in, the keyboard clicking rhythmically. The sun poked out above clouds from where it hung slightly above the horizon. Maria took in the dim hospital room and her own body, finding that her head throbbed and her ribs felt like they were on fire from where they came into contact with her abs.
“Pepp-” she groaned out and the strawberry blonde jumped to her feet.
“Oh my god!” she held a hand to her chest as she approached, “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you to wake up while I was here.”
There was a lot to unpack in that sentence and Maria was thankful for the cool water that rushed down her throat as Pepper held up a cup with a straw not only for the drink but for the moment to take it all in.
She remembered almost immediately, there had been an accident on their way home from Ruiz's apartment. Before that she had a pretty good recollection, after that… things got a little hazy.
“Ellie?” She knew the girl had been in the car with her.
“She’s okay, had a few bumps and bruises but she’s okay,” Pepper put the cup back down, “I bet she’ll come racing in as soon as I tell everyone you’re up again.”
“Again?” Maria couldn’t recall being awake before this very moment.
“It’s been a… long day, Natasha’s better at explaining it all,” the woman gave a bit of a dismissive wave of her hand and left the room.
There was silence, serial, cold silence as she waited. Her mind began to run, Ellie had been in the accident, and so had Natasha, she had been the driver, she should have-
Natasha came into the room, dark circles under her eyes as she collected all of her beautiful red hair and tossed it up into a bun on her head, “Hey there, how are you feeling?”
“Sore,” she didn’t lie as her eyes locked on the green ones next to her, “what happened?”
Maria sat there and listened to the details of the accident they had been in, wincing as Natasha explained the crash, and then again after she listed the surgeries.
“But Ellie,” she was thankful for the drink of water Natasha offered her, “and you?”
“We’re okay Ria,” the redhead gave a soft nod and then called out to Ellie in their shared tongue.
A blur of purple came racing into the room, “Hi Mommy.”
“Hi Bear,” she smiled as the girl tightened the strings on her hoodie.
“Guess what?” her daughter smiled, a bruise over her forehead catching Maria’s attention as her core filled with guilt.
“What?” she forced a smile.
“Coop and Lila going to have another brother or sister!” the child smiled wide, showing all of her missing teeth.
“Really?” the brunette looked over to Natasha who gave a soft smile and nodded.
She still felt awful about the accident, truly terrible, but the news helped ease that feeling a little bit. A new life, a new member of the family they had all but come to be a part of.
Maria listened as Ellie caught her up to date with everything else that had happened. Apparently, the girl had gone back to the tower once with Clint to pick up more clothes, according to Natasha, she had come back with only shirts and a smudge of dirt on her face. They had sent Steve and Laura the next time. She had also gotten her schoolwork for the first week back so she didn't miss anything.
“No,” Maria shook her head and cursed for not being able to sit up, “I want her to start school when she’s supposed to. Everything else is already so off, not school too.”
Natasha furrowed her brows, “are you sure? Her teacher said that she can get anything she needs from Liam and that another week won't make that big of a difference before winter break.”
“I want her back to some type of normal-” she winced again, harder this time as the pain took the air from her lungs.
“Okay,” the redhead stroked her hair and helped her lay back down, “okay, I’ll tell her teacher.”
“Thank you,” Maria breathed out, suddenly so tired.
“By the way, do you know her email?” Natasha’s voice was already becoming distant.
“Mhmm,” she felt herself drift off, “tablet in my drawer.”
Natasha’s eyes were soft as they met Maria’s, the brunette blinking awake in a foreign bed as she took in the sights around her. The night sky crept into the room casting it in a dim light as Maria tried to locate exactly where she was, groaning as she tried to sit up. A throbbing pain behind her eyes and aching pain in her stomach told her something was clearly wrong and that she wasn’t just in a foreign bed, but a hospital bed.
“You should still be sleeping,” the Russian’s voice was deep and rough as if she had been talking too much and not sleeping enough.
“Which means you should be too,” she blinked a few more times and tried to fight off the sleep, “what happened?”
There was a part of her that was filled with annoyance but she couldn’t quite remember why as she took in the room they were in.
"You, me, and Ellie were all in a car accident. You had surgery on your abdomen for some internal bleeding, then another on your brain for a bleed there. It’s been a little over a day since the accident but your vitals are looking good, everything is pretty stable,” Natasha’s voice was calm and collected.
“Where is she?” she was more awake now as she looked around the hospital room.
“Next door, sleeping,” the redhead brushed a hand over Maria’s hair, not needing to ask who she was talking about “which is what you should be doing right now.”
The brunette took in the information, “I was driving.”
Natasha hadn’t told her that part, it was a little piece of information that she could pull from before the accident, she was the one who was driving that day.
“You were,” the redhead offered a small nod.
“Then… why do I feel frustrated with you?”
“Because,” Natasha sighed, “this isn’t the first time you’ve been awake.”
Maria sat very still, unsure of how to react to the information.
“And last time you woke up, I hadn’t told you that Ellie broke her arm-” the Russian held up her hand as Maria began to bristle at the news, “which I was just about to tell you about. She’s perfectly fine, Steve is working on painting her cast like the night sky.”
Awful, she felt awful and terrible, and sad, and guilty. Not only had she hurt Natasha with her driving, but Ellie too, her own daughter.
“Why…” her voice felt impossibly small, “why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“Sometimes you notice the cast, sometimes you don't,” Natasha sighed, “and I would much rather you see it and get mad at me for not telling you than to tell you and have you make the face you’re making right now.”
Tears welled up in Maria’s eyes as she sat there.
“I’d rather you be mad at me, than guilty with yourself.” Natasha clarified.
She blinked, the tears falling down her face in warm tracks, “you don’t get to not tell me.”
“I’m sorry,” Natasha used the pad of her thumb to wipe the tears away.
“If, if this happens again,” she found herself becoming impossibly tired, “You tell me.”
The Russian kissed the top of her head and coaxed her back into a slumber.
Clint fiddled with an arrowhead from where he sat on a bench in front of a window that overlooked… well she wasn’t quite sure, a hospital by the looks of it. The sun was setting outside as Maria blinked into reality, unsure of a lot, but knowing that her head hurt something fierce and her abs weren’t fairing much better.
“Clint,” she croaked out, the man continued to look out the window.
She waited another moment before trying again, “Barton.”
The archer looked down at the arrowhead in his hands, tapping the side and frowning as only one side unfolded, the other side staying stationary. She watched him again and thought about trying to find something to toss near him to get his attention.
A small cup on the table next to her looked to be almost empty. Maria thought about it for another moment but suddenly her eyes felt so heavy. Another minute, she told herself, if she was still up in another minute she would drain the cup and toss it towards-
The Commander was asleep before she completed her thought.
Natasha sat with one knee pulled close to her chest from where she sat in a chair next to Maria, her eyes roaming over the woman's face. Her own face was covered in little cuts from what Maria could take in in the low light filtering in from the window. The pain in her head waxed and waned every time she moved her eyes, it seemed her abdomen did as well as she tried to sit up, sliding back down as the pain became too much to handle.
“Ellie?” she winced.
“Safe and sound, asleep next door,” Natasha brushed her hair out of her face.
“Am I supposed to be mad at you?” her vision was hazy but she had a feeling she was.
“You can be whatever you want to be with me, I’ll never tell you differently,” again, the redhead stroked the hair around Maria’s face.
“Are you mad at me?” she felt so confused, her body hurt, her mind was fluttering in and out, and her voice became thick with emotion. She didn’t want Natasha to be mad at her, she didn’t even know why she would be.
“Never,” Natasha kissed her forehead.
“Are you sure?” there was a feeling of wrongness in her chest, she blinked and tears fell from her eyes.
“Positive mi amore,” the Russian squeezed her fingers twice.
Maria could do nothing but trust the woman as she tried to fight off sleep, the sound of her native language settling lovingly in her chest.
“Rest,” Natasha encouraged and soon she found herself slipping into sleep once more.
Ellie had a purple hoodie on, her ears poking out on either side of the hood as she concentrated on something in front of her. The sun was setting outside as Maria blinked into reality, unsure of a lot, but knowing that there was a dull ache in her head and her abs were more sore than they had been after a core exercise May had encouraged her to do one time.
“Little Bear,” she whispered and the child's head snapped towards her, a smile plastered across her face.
“Hi Mommy,” the girl placed her head on Maria’s bed, right by her hand.
“Are you okay?” the blue-eyed woman took in the room, they were in the hospital which made sense. The last thing she could recall was the look on Natasha’s face as they went through the intersection, she had a pretty good guess about what happened on the other side.
“Supposed to go and get Tasha now,” Ellie nodded from where her head was still pressed into the white sheets.
She stroked her hand one more time over the little girl’s hood before nodding and watching as Ellie slipped out of the room. The sunset cast warm light through the room, bathing everything in gold and red. If she wasn’t in a hospital bed, if she hadn’t been in an accident, she would have gone out to the balcony of their apartment to watch it set.
“Hey,” Natasha walked in, the woman looked more than tired, she looked downright exhausted.
“You okay?” she found her hand reaching out to the redhead who nodded and interlaced her own fingers.
“I’m okay, Ellie is okay,” Natasha spoke softly, “we got into a car accident; you were by far the most impacted.”
Maria took in the information, trying to put all the pieces together as the Russian continued to speak.
“You had surgery on your abdomen for some internal bleeding, then another on your brain for a bleed there. It’s been two days since the accident but your vitals are looking good, everything is pretty stable,” it was as if Natasha was reading off a script, maybe she was, maybe in the last two days she had come up with one when Maria woke up.
“And Mommy,” Ellie called out from where she stood next to her bed, “guess what.”
“What?” she found herself smiling back at the little girl who beamed.
“Lolo having another baby.”
“Really?” Maria felt joy fill her body as she took in the news.
Natasha squeezed her hand and chuckled as she nodded, “Already called dibs on naming her after me.”
“Of course you did, so they’re here then I take it?” she braced herself, half expecting them to jump out of the bathroom that was connected to the room.
“They just went back to the tower, to get,” the Russian looked at her with what looked like hope for just a second, “Steve and Bucky made dinner.”
“That's great,” she felt the dull pain in her stomach, “could you help me sit up.”
“Of course,” Natasha placed one hand at the base of her back and offered her other as a grab point in the perfect assistance.
“Thank you,” Maria breathed out a tight breath, “I thought that was going to hurt a lot more.”
Natasha gave a tight-lipped smile and glanced at the clock that hung above the window.
“Got somewhere to be?” the brunette half-joked.
“No,” Natasha kissed the top of her head and offered no other information.
Maria watched as the sun sank lower and lower, this time casting a gold light right over Ellie who colored at a nearby table. Her tan skin looked warm and-
“You okay Bear?” she asked as Ellie winced slightly when a crayon slightly out of reach rolled from under her outstretched arm.
The child looked at Maria and then shot a glance at Natasha before her gaze settled back on her mother. Maria looked closer at the arm that had been outstretched, that side of her sleeve was much thicker than the other.
“Come here,” her voice became more stern as the girl drew closer, “your arm.”
Ellie hung her head and pushed her sleeve up as she reached the side of the bed. A deep blue cast covered in stars and planets sat from her elbow down to her hand.
“I asked you if she was okay!” Maria found herself nearly yelling at the woman next to her who stiffened, “Why didn’t you tell me she broke her arm?”
“It’s just a cast, Ria,” the Russian sighed, “Ellie why don’t you head back into your room.”
The girl nodded and exited the room quickly.
“And now you’re deciding what’s best for my daughter?” Maria's eyes went wide as the door closed, not that she would have done anything differently had she known there was another room for the girl to go into.
“No- I just,” Natasha sighed again and shook her head.
“She has her own room?” realization hit her, “how hurt is she??”
“She had her own room because she had some bruising on her ribs. She was already discharged but they let us stay because Stark bought out the whole wing,” green eyes met her own, “Ellie isn’t the one we’re concerned about.”
“I don’t give a fuck about how I’m doing, I want to know how she is,” Maria was quickly filling with anger, “I specifically asked you if she was okay and you lied! Why didn’t you tell me-”
“Because you’re going to forget anyway!” Natasha snapped back.
The brunette opened her mouth to rebuttal but closed it as Natasha ran a hand through her hair.
“What?” she asked softly.
“You’re not going to remember, no matter what I tell you, Masha,” tears lined the spy’s eyes, “we’ve had this argument almost verbatim twice, we’ve had other conversations another 9 times. Almost every single one of them ends with you in a panic about Ellie’s well-being, once about mine, and then you drift out of it and come back to sacred because you don’t know why you’re so upset and worried but you are.”
Maria sat and listened to every word, terrified that they would slip out of her at any minute if Natasha was right.
“And I’m-” tears fell from green eyes as her voice broke, “and I’m terrified because I don’t know what to do. Ellie was supposed to go back to school in a couple days and the Ruizs are going to help out if she does. But they aren’t you, and I’ve been trying to find the list of her after-school activities but I can’t find your tablet with all the information and I don’t know if she should go stay with the Bartons for a while so we can focus on you and your recovery-”
“No, I don’t want her starting school halfway through it again,” Maria shook her head.
“Last time you said you did,” Natasha placed her head in her hands muffling her voice, “but the time before that you said you didn’t, and I tried to talk to Ellie about it and she- god Ria she’s the best kid.”
The Russian sat up again, “You know what she does every time you wake up? She comes running to find me if I’m not in here and then waits for me to tell you what happened before she almost explodes to tell you that Laura is pregnant. It’s the one thing that never changes, you get so happy and she wants to make you happy. She tells you every time. Every single time.”
Maria found tears in her own eyes as she watched Natasha look at the clock once more.
“How much time do we have left?” She found herself tired from all the information.
“A minute, maybe two,” Natasha shrugged, “15-minute increments of you being up before you’re asleep from 30 minutes to an hour.”
“The tablet is in my drawer,” she peeled her eyes back open, sleep thick in her voice.
“It’s not, we checked all of your drawers in your desk-”
Maria shook her head, the whole room spinning with it, “nightstand drawer.”
“Nightstand drawer,” Natasha echoed, chuckling as she did so.
She wanted to fight it, she wanted to kick and punch and scream to stay awake but a thick fog started to settle over her.
“I’m still mad at you for not telling me about her arm,” she fought through it.
“I know,” Natasha ran a soft hand over her hair, “I promise to tell you the next time around.”
“Kiss me next time too,” Maria tried her very best to stay awake.
Soft lips touched hers as she drifted off.
Maria woke up, her eyes focused on Steve who leaned into Barnes' side from where they stood by the door. The buildings around them lit up the night sky outside as Maria blinked, paying attention to the headache she had and the dull pain around her abs.
“Ria?” Steve stood up straight as she moved slightly.
“Natasha?” she asked the man.
“She just stepped out to put Ellie to bed, she’ll be back any second,” he had a sad smile on his face as he spoke.
True to his word, Natasha walked back in, bringing both Laura and Clint with her.
“I’m still mad at you,” she huffed as the redhead reached her bed.
Sad, soft eyes fell on her, “I’m sorry you’re upset, do you know why-”
“You didn’t tell me that Ellie broke her arm,” she leveled her gaze as green eyes widened, “but more importantly, I did the math. You said that it had been two days since the accident and you didn’t even mention your birthday.”
"Ria," Natasha's eyes were lined with silver as a smile bloomed across her face.