Time is the Only Constant

It was obvious from the knock (and the lack of weapons being drawn) that both women knew who was on the other side of the door. What took Maria by surprise was the way that Yelena reacted to the girl in her arms as if she was suddenly burned by the child. She removed Ellie from her clutch so quickly that Maria barely had time to keep the 5-year-old from falling off the couch. It was clearly a trained reaction, no intimate contact with others, regardless of how much you care for them. 

“Yelena, can you open the door for your sister?” Maria held the child in her arms, “I’m just going to put her back to bed.”

The blonde, who still sat perfectly still, nodded slightly and stood up. 

It wasn’t until she placed the child back into the soft comfort of the sheets adorned with stars, that she let herself take in what was happening. She was moments away from seeing Natasha, it had been weeks, so much had changed. Her fingers traced over the features of Ellie’s face as she took one final moment to compose herself before walking into the room where the gravel of Natasha’s voice called to her. 

The redhead was in slightly better condition than her sister, or at least she was better at hiding it. Her fingers ran through her hair as she pulled it away from her face and into a single braid, she talked to Yelena in low tones the whole time, Maria was sure she had never seen anyone more beautiful.

“Ria,” her smile was soft, her eyes were tired, but still she looked more at peace than Maria could remember ever seeing. It took everything in her not to reach out and pull the woman into her arms. 

“...hi,” she swallowed hard, for some reason her whole mouth had gone dry, “I can go get the med kit if you need but- you might want to shower so um- I can just go grab you some clothes or you can- I haven’t moved them but Yelena might have worn some of them so you’re welcome to mine- and there's dinner I can heat up if you’re hungry- I um. You know what? I’ll go grab you a drink.” 

Yelena quirked a single eyebrow as the Commander continued to ramble, Natasha just nodded. Maria walked quickly into the kitchen, throwing open the refrigerator, grateful for the blast of cool air. Great, even the kid saw you make a fool out of yourself. Get it together Maria.

She grabbed three beers by the neck of the bottle along with the “disinfecting” vodka and made her way back into the living room, grateful that her hands now had something to do. Were her hand always this awkward? 

“Thank you,” the redhead took both bottles with ease, “letting a minor drink?”

“Well technically she never told me her age,” she tried to make a valid excuse.

“And so you decided she was old enough to drink,” Natasha tilted her head to the side. 

“Well in Russia she’s old enough to drink,” Maria grasped at international legislative straws.

“I thought you said she didn’t tell you how old she was,” the Russian narrowed her eyes. 

“She- well she didn’t but-” her heart was racing, no one else could make her stubble the way Natasha could.

Yelena let out a clipped bark of a laugh, “Natalia stop so that the woman will hand me the beer, then please continue.” 

Maria looked down at the two bottles that remained in her hand, much warmer than they were moments before. She only handed it over after the redhead let a sly smile cross her face. With the tension broken, she sighed and sat on the coffee table across from the siblings, taking a long pull from the bottle in her hand. 

“I meant it, if you need the med kid,” she motioned to the bathroom with a quick nod to the door. 

“I think they’re all healed up now, but I will take you up on a shower later,” Natasha slumped into the couch, her eyes falling onto Yelena, “she caused you any problems?”

“Not one,” Maria answered in honesty, the girl had spent most of her first days holed away in the room. This was one of the longest stretches Maria had been around her, and one of the only times she had acted like the young woman she was. 

“I slept a majority of the time,” the blonde sipped her beer, eyeing her sister back, “and ate.”

“Sound like a real teenager,” Natasha playfully shoved the girl’s arm. 

“I am no longer in my teenage years!” The younger woman protested in a way that sounded very much like she was still in her teenage years. 

“You’re barely out of them, you’re still growing,” the green-eyed woman clarified, “you’re still learning. Like for instance, you’re still learning about what does and doesn't make you look like a dork.” 

Maria hadn’t paid much attention to Yelena's clothes after her first assessment that they had come from a second hand shop. Now that she looked closer, she could see that under her half-zipped jacket there was a dark green vest. 

“I do not look like a dork,” the blonde scoffed, her voice pitching high.

“Oh, yeah, you do,” Natasha flipped open a pack of gum from Maria’s hidden stash with practiced ease, “what is that like- Army surplus?”

“Da, Danke Shop,” the younger sister confirmed now looking at the vest, “I could not just walk around in my uniform, it was the only thing I could buy.”

Natasha was quiet, Maria watched as her jaw worked the piece of gum to try and rid the nerves she was feeling, silently she wondered how many other habits the Russian had picked up from her.

“That?” the redhead chuckled.

“It has a lot of pockets,” Yelena smoothed her hands over the material, “I use them all the time and I am even thinking about making some modifications- ugh whatever.”

Natasha continued to chuckle as her younger sister waved her hand in defeat, once again showing her age as she rolled her eyes.

It really was as if Maria was seeing the young woman for the first time, she was more comfortable around Natasha. Her mannerisms, her body language, all of it was much more open than Maria had seen it before. She couldn’t blame her, Natasha brought out the same side in herself.  

“Okay so this one didn’t give you any problems, but did SHIELD?” the Russian flipped the conversation back to Maria. 

“Got reports yesterday morning of the wreckage but it’s been delegated to the international team,” the Deputy Director used a blunt fingernail to tap on the side of the glass bottle and shrugged. 

“Which you oversee,” Natasha pushed.

“Which I oversee,” Maria confined with a nod, “I have good people working on it. Unless you object, your name will not be mentioned anywhere on the report.”

“I’d like to keep it that way,” the Russian sighed, “I never want to be associated with the Red Room again.”   

At the single mention of the room, Yelena’s widow facade slammed back into place. Her back stiffened, her shoulder straightened, and her eyes glazed over as she placed the beer bottle on the coffee table with the same speed that she had dropped Ellie. Natasha ran her thumb over the white knuckles of the blonde, trying to bring her back slowly. 

“How about we get you to bed, hmm?” she spoke quietly, her voice tinged with worry.

“She’s been sleeping in my room,” Maria matched the woman’s tone, “you’re welcome to the couch if you don’t want to share the bed.”

It would leave her to sleep on the floor which wasn’t as easy on her body as it used to be, but for Natasha, she would sleep on the surface of the sun without complaining.   

“We’re good to share, thank you, Ria,” the Russian stood up and helped Yelena to her feet.

The younger woman moved in a robotic way that made the brunette want to shudder. There were murmurs from the room for a while before Maria could make out the sound of the bedroom door opening and closing followed by the bathroom. 

It was obvious after 20 minutes, who was in the shower. Yelena showered in the same way as Ellie, short, with lukewarm water. This shower belonged to a woman who had learned the therapeutic effects of warm water and muted noise. Maria stretched her limbs out and felt the weight of the blanket on her as she laid on the couch, with her eyes closed she could almost convince herself that it was a normal night from months earlier. Before Yelena, before Ellie, before Phil was dead and May was gone, she would lay in her bed and listen to Natasha shower after missions, the running water soothing both of them. It was another 20 minutes before the shower finally ended and she was sobered back into reality. 

The humidity of the shower wafted into the room as the door opened, “Hey, Ria.”

“Hey, Tasha,” Maria sat up, making room for the woman on the couch.

“Sorry, she- it’s still hard for her to remember she has free will now,” the redhead glanced around nervously. 

“You don’t have to apologize. I get it,” she responded honestly, she had seen it now with three widows all in various degrees of overcoming the rules of The Room. 

Natasha let out a deep breath and laid her head on Maria’s shoulder, “Я скучала по тебе. Ты моя опора.” The words in Russian falling out of her mouth like a prayer that Maria translated as if it was sacred scripture “I missed you. My rock.”

“I missed you too, Tasha,” Maria tilted her own head until it was on top of the Russians. 

“There was a moment when everything came down,” her voice was quiet as she spoke of the mission, “I was free falling, I made sure Yelena would make it to the ground safely and all I could think about was how if I died… you might not know how much I missed you.” 

“You took down one of the most successful Soviet training facilities, alone, and your last thought was still me?” Maria half-joked, offering the redhead an out. 

“Yes.”

Rather than answer, Maria intertwined their fingers together, letting the realization come over her like a wave. 

“Which is why leaving this time is going to be so hard,” Natasha’s voice was barely above a whisper. 

“But,” the Commander took in a deep breath, “but you just got here.” 

“I know,” the redhead gave her hand a squeeze, “But she can’t stay here. She needs what I needed when I first got out, what you’re giving to Ellie.”

As much as she wanted to argue this, to stomp her foot and tell her to stay, she knew that Natasha was right. Yelena needed space with someone she cared about to show her the way the world works outside of The Room. She needed time and love without pressure or containment. 

“When?” was the only question she could get out. 

“As soon as I get in a few hours of sleep, Clint’s going to take us with him.”

The archer had requested to be placed on “intel acquisition” at the crash site, Maria had signed off on it, thinking that he would go and pick Natasha up. She didn't realize he was being placed on the operation to bring the sisters back to Russia.   

“It's better for her to come back into consciousness around things she already knows, in the language she was raised in,” Natasha started. 

“With the person, she was raised with,” Maria interjected.

Rather than answer, the Russian squeezed her hand again. They sat in silence for a while longer, soaking up the remaining time they had left. 

“I’ll be back, as soon as she is settled and everything dies down,” it was a promise that had no timeline.     

Maria stood up and walked into the kitchen, pulling out the last box of mac and cheese that they had. She returned to Natasha standing next to the couch with what looked like tears in her eyes as she saw the blue box.

“Here,” Maria handed it over, “she… she likes this brand.”

Natasha took the box, reached up, and pulled Maria’s face down until their lips molded together. The tears released from her eyes as she closed them tightly, deepening the kiss. 

“Thank you,” she whispered onto Maria’s lips.

Before the Commander could say anything, Natasha had turned and exited the room, the bedroom door clicking quietly into place. And so Maria stood in the darkness of her living room, alone.   
 

“I know you’re sad your friend is gone,” Maria finished buckling the child into her car seat, “but she’ll be back.”

She had heard Natasha coaxing her sister out of the room a few hours after they had parted, it sounded like Yelena was having a hard time and so Maria gave them the privacy and went into Ellie’s room until she heard the front door lock into place. 

Ellie touched her forehead with the tips of her fingers, still frowning. 

“I know because Tasha told me they would be, any other questions, or can we get going?” The woman stood and waited for the child to answer, “okay, well the good news is, you get to see Liam today.”

This was enough to bring a smile out of the girl who wiggled in her seat excitedly. Maria snorted and drove them to the Triskelion, explaining to Ellie that they would need to stop by the medbay for a quick appointment to see if her eyes were cleared up and that her metabolism stabilizers were still working. 

“Why?” the girl spoke up.

“Because if they aren’t, you have to stay out of The Center for longer so you don't get other kids' eyes sick,” she tried to explain. 

She looked into the rearview mirror and saw a faint “oh” on the girl's face, “but they look like they aren’t red anymore so I bet you’ll be good to go.”

Ellie nodded and asked for the music to be turned up, no longer caring about the conversation. The two parked the car and made their way to the medbay where Ellie clung onto Maria even after they had been brought into the exam room.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite teleporting friend,” Dr. Carter walked into the room with a soft smile, “how are you doing today?”

Ellie squinted and stuck her thumb and first finger up, Maria raised her thumb in the correct thumbs-up motion behind the girl. 

“That good huh?” the doctor washed her hands and sat at the end of the examination table, “I have a couple things I need from you, but after that, you can pick out a toy from our toy box. How does that sound?”

The child looked to Maria for guidance, “that sounds like it would be a lot of fun.”

The curly-haired girl breathed in deeply before softly saying “okay.” 

“Okay, the first thing I’m going to do is test your reflexes by tapping my little tool on your body, is that alright?” the physician held up the reflex hammer, Ellie nodded and let Carter work, “those drops seemed to have cleared up her infection, any lasting pinkeye symptoms?”

“No, no she’s been great since then,” Maria watched as the woman continued to work, tapping each of the reflex points on the girl. 

The curly-haired child sat still as the rest of the check-up continued, her vision was checked along with her hearing and blood pressure which she seemed to dislike more than anything else. 

“That one kinda feels like a really tight hug, huh?” the blonde asked the girl who gave the smallest shrug, she glanced at Maria, “do we often only communicate through non-verbal forms?”

“More often than not,” it was dependent on the setting, but even in the most comfortable scenario, the girl preferred not to speak. Maria thought back to the conversation she had with Yelena, how the young woman explained that she had always been that way.  

“And we're okay with that?” Dr. Carter wrote something down on her clipboard. 

“Yes,” the brunette nodded.

“If it works for you, it works for me. I’m not concerned about her hearing or her cognitive ability, but if it becomes something you want to talk about, we have language resources on site,” the woman pulled the cuff off the girl's arm.

“Alright my friend, the last thing I need from you is to hop on down and stand on this scale so I can get your height and weight,” Dr. Carter motioned to the scale in the corner of the room, “we’re eating and drinking throughout the day without problems?”

“She’s eating and drinking regularly but I’ve noticed in the last week or so her shorts have been a little loose,” Maria continued to talk to the physician who was writing on the clipboard. 

“That can be normal, has she been more active? It could also be that she's just petite from- oh honey you didn’t need to strip down.”

Maria whipped her head around to the corner of the room where Ellie stood shaking, eyes trained on the floor. Immediately, she got up and helped dress the girl who didn’t respond to the new set of hands on her. 

“Ellie girl,” she prompted, getting no response, “Ellie?”

The child, now fully clothed, continued to stare at the tile. 

“Does this happen often?” Dr. Carter kept her voice low as she wrote down the weight of the child along with Maria’s response. 

“Only when she thinks she’s back there,” the Deputy Director turned from where she knelt in front of the child to answer. From where she was crouched, she understood the response, the doctor had a white coat, and clipboard, and loomed over the girl, there was no way Ellie thought of anything other than the Red Room “medical” testing. 

She wrapped her arms around Ellie, “it’s just me, sweet girl,” she felt the child relax slightly into the embrace. 

It was another 5 minutes of prompting and coaxing until the child started to come back around, in that time Dr. Carter had given Maria a referral to two different child psychiatrists. It was only after Ellie had clasped her arms around the Commander's neck that she picked her up and kissed her temple. 

“I got you, little bear,” she swayed in place and rubbed the girl's back in large circles. 

“I’ll send her refill to the pharmacy, pick it up whenever you can,” the doctor gave Maria a fond smile, “I’ll email you her write-up and a reminder to schedule another appointment in 6 months.”

“Thank you,” the brunette spoke softly as she continued to run her fingers through the girl's hair. 

“Have a good day Commander,” Carter nodded toward the woman and child before seeing herself out. 

The two stayed in the room for a while longer, Maria slowly coaxing the girl to look at her as she assessed what had happened and how to go forward. 

“Do you want to go home?” it was summer, there weren’t a ton of missions going on, she could swing working from home. 

“No,” Ellie let out a deep breath and played with the collar on Maria’s shirt, “want to see Liam.”

“Okay sweet girl, then let’s go see your buddy,” she shifted the child to her hip and carried her out of the room. 

She hadn’t thought twice about the motion that had become so natural until some of the younger agents in the hallways staired. She barely had to raise an eyebrow before they all quickly looked away and muttered some sort of apology. The older agents fell into two categories: either talking to Maria as if there was not a child held in her arms or giving warm smiles and trying to say hi to Ellie before talking to Maria. 

Barbara Morse fell into the first category, her eyes only glancing at the child once as Maria stopped her. 

“Little birdy tells me you're looking to trade in your death trap,” Maria offered up the only information she had.

“With all due respect, our line of work is a bit like one giant death trap,” the blonde responded, “but yes, I am looking at getting a car.”

Maria grabbed her bag and fished around for her old keys, “Parking spot 4, give it a spin and let me know if you like it. I’m looking to sell.”

Bobbi’s eyes went slightly wide, “really?”

“Really,” Maria handed over the keys. 

“Thanks, Hill,” the agent twirled the keys in her hand briefly before shoving them in the pocket of her uniform.   

“Anything to keep that big brain of yours safe, Dr. Morse!” Maria threw over her shoulder as she continued towards the elevators. 

She could feel Ellie lift her head up to watch the woman they just walked away from, “did her face get red?”

The girl nodded, “yes, and she stares at the ground.”

Maria had learned early on that Ellie watched everything. She knew that it was training from The Room, she knew that the child had come pre-programmed with a specific skill set that in many ways would have made her the perfect spy. However, the brunette would never use those skills in that manner, she would only use them in cases like this where they would both end up laughing.  

“Perfect,” the Commander chuckled with Ellie as they walked away from the agent. 

The two had barely made it into the hallway of The Center before a loud thump caught both of their attention, Liam’s face was pressed into the glass window. Maria didn’t have time to put the girl down properly before she took off into the room, blowing past all of the other children as she rushed to get to her friend. 

“I know that I’m not supposed to have favorites,” Grace openly “awwed” as she saw the two embrace, “but how can you not when these two do things like this?”

Maria smiled and handed the girl's backpack over to the blonde, “she’s pretty dang cute.”

She thought about how cute the girl was and how far she had come for the rest of the day. Time seemed to move so much faster now that she had someone to take home. No longer could she pull 18+ hour shifts or drop everything to go on the carrier. As different as it all was, she was sure it was better for her health. 

One thing that was not better for her health, was her bosses ability to destroy her calm demeanor every time she went to The Center and found her child was no longer there. Which is exactly what she found as she walked into the space on the first week of August. 

“I know but like I was telling you, there are a lot of good public schools around here and I dont have the money this year to send her to private scho- Fucking Fury,” Maria pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed into the phone, “Let me call you back tonight Laur. Yep… okay… Love you back.”

“Sorry, Commander,” the young man behind the counter winced.

“Did he at least sign her out?” She picked up the pen attached to the sign out sheet, knowing the answer already. 

“No, he told Ellie to take the ‘silly little pen’ and then kinda threw his jacket back and they left,” the worker said quickly. 

“Thank you,” she sighed and signed the girl out before heading back upstairs. 

They had gone to the farm for the fourth of July and were currently on their 10th day back at work, of those 10 days, Fury had signed Ellie out early 5 of them. She pulled out her phone on the elevator and clicked on the video Natasha had sent the night before. 

The redhead had sent periodic texts and videos since her return to Russia. She was in rough condition the first video she sent, her hair looked as if it had been pulled, she had a scratch along her jaw, she was skinny. But after a few more videos, she was looking more herself even if her accent was thicker than the Commander had ever heard. 

Tasha: 1 vid. Msg.

“Hey Ria,” Natasha’s face filled the screen, it was daylight in the apartment she and Yelena were living in, “I wanted to give you a little proof of life-”

“BECAUSE SHE WOULD LIKE TO KISS YOUR FACE” Yelena’s voice filtered into the video. 

The redhead started yelling in Russian, too quickly for Maria to translate, not that she needed to. She had heard the same type of yell come out of Natasha’s mouth too many times with Clint, Maria got the gist of what was going on. 

“So rude,” the spy rolled her eyes, “anywayyyy, I wanted to show you proof of life and see how you and the kid are doing. Barton said you guys left a few days ago from the farm and I… I don't know. I guess I just wanted to talk, I miss you.” The last part of the sentence was quieter, but Maria understood the meaning. 

“So yeah, just text me or call or whatever. Okayby- ugh fine,” the redhead handed the phone over to her younger sister. 

“Hello Maria Hill, I hope that you are good. I found out about this delightful item that Natalia says you know about. It is called Sirracha and I believe it is fantastic so if you like it, can you please give other recommendations and also have some for when we are back in America?” The Blonde wiggled her eyebrows, she had also clearly come out of her shell since their departure. 

Maria couldn't help but smile at the young woman on the screen as she talked about some of the things the two of them had done since getting back to Russia. The video came to an end as the elevator dinged, both sisters smiling as Yelena shoved Natasha off of her while she tried to give her a hug. She walked past the other offices on the floor until she got to the last room, preparing herself for what was on the other side.   

“Fury,” she scanned her badge and threw the door open, “my kid, please.”

Ellie sat up from where she had been hanging her head off of the couch in the office. Rather, Ellie was hanging her head off of “her couch” as Fury reminded everyone from senators to top level agents, unless they had permission from the curly-haired child, they were not allowed to sit there. No matter their rank. 

“Hi Bear,” Maria kissed the girl on the top of her head. 

“Hi,” Ellie licked the corner of her mouth. 

“Nick, what have I said about ice cream?” she used her thumb to wipe off the rest of the treat that still lingered on the child's face. 

“I don’t recall,” the man lifted his head from where he was sitting behind his desk, suddenly engrossed with the report on his screen.   

“Oh, you don't recall?” she huffed, knowing they had this conversation less than a week prior.

“Maybe I recall but you’re taking me away from her, Hill!” He snapped with no fire behind it. 

“I’m not taking her away from you,” she tried to console both Fury and Ellie who looked like they were ready to run away together, “she has to go to school. She’s a kid, it’s what they do.”

“Why can’t you just home school her?” The man gave his full attention now as he tried to convince Maria. 

“Because I am not an educator, and you need a Deputy Director,” she shook her head, “now let's get going, you need to leave Fuzzy to look over mission report 39-Charlie.”

“When will they be ready to deploy?” Fury was back in Director mode. 

“End of October at the latest,” she knew her agents would need another 2 months of training before they were sent to work on a possible Hydra cell. One they hadn’t seen the size of in years.

“How many agents?”

“Ours or theirs?”

“Ours.”

“Twenty.”     

“Theirs?”

“Last report said 48.”

“And when does she start school?” Back to Fuzzy mode, Ellie cracked up at the abrupt change.

“September 1st,” Maria internally winced, every time she thought about sending the girl off to school a pang of sadness hit her. 

“Right, we have two weeks to convince Ria then little miss,” he pointedly looked at the child who nodded in agreement. 

“Grab your bag,” Maria shook her head and pointed at the star covered canvas, “say bye to Fuzzy.”

“Bye to Fuzzy,” Ellie cracked up, fist bumping the man who gave her a thumbs up.

“You two are going to make me go grey early,” she sighed and left the office, “how was your day?”

<pretty sad until Fuzzy> the child signed, she had learned new signs during their stay with the Bartons and happily used them. Maria now had to ask her what a number of them meant. 

“Because Liam is on vacation?” the little boy was going to be away from the Center for the remainder of the summer as his family took their summer trip.

<yes> the child walked up to the elevator and pressed the button, please as it illuminated red.

“Well the good news is, by the end of the week we’ll know if you two are going to big school together,” Maria ran her hands down the girls braids.

“If no?” Ellie craned her neck up.

“Then whatever school you go to is going to be lucky to have a great kid like you,” she knew the girl was nervous about making friends and hoped that the school would accept her enrollment so she could start the year with at least one friend. 

The Commander followed the girl as she moved through the massive building with ease, holding back for Maria whenever there was another agent, and sprinting forward in empty hallways. The little girl had mapped the whole building by this point, the Red Room training showing as she dipped into side staircases without looking.   

They had gotten into a routine, the two of them. Maria would wake up and get ready for work, pack their lunches and put two waffles in the toaster. It was just enough time for her to wake the child, who now slept like the dead rather than waking at the smallest noise, and get her changed into her clothes for the day before breakfast. They would drive Maria’s terrible car to work where she would drop Ellie off for the day, go to the gym, and work for the next 8 hours before picking the girl up and going home. It was simple, it was safe, it was comfortable. 

Over the course of four months Maria had learned how the girl gave lopsided grins when she was proud of herself, and how she squinted when she was nervous, that’s why she knew something was up when she looked into the rearview mirror and saw the girl glancing around. It wasn’t until they got home that the little girl finally explained what was on her mind. Asking a question that fully took the woman by surprise.  

“Or no?” Ellie traced the outline of Venus on her shirt as she squinted. 

“I think I didn’t understand the question,” Maria knelt down until she was at eye level with the girl, “ask me again.”

“Coop- he call Lo-Lo Mommy, and Liam call adult Mommy,” the girl let out a deep breath, “but I call you Ria.”

“And you want to know why?” the brunette filled in the question, not wanting to push anything the girl wasn’t ready for. 

“Why call you Ria and not- and not mommy,” the question was just barely above a whisper. 

“Well Ellie, what do you want to call me?” she swallowed. Hard. 

Ellie closed the space between them and leaned her forehead against the woman's shoulder, “can call you mommy?” 

Maria kissed the top of the girl's head as she answered just as quietly, “Little bear, nothing would make me happier than if you called me mommy.”