The Girl Speaks
Maria's eyes stung from the screen she had been staring at for the last six hours. She blinked and finished the now cold beef stew that she had been sent for dinner four hours prior. It was still good and she hoped Elizaveta had at least tried it.
The night shift had just started to file into the room, one of the more senior agents walked up to her.
“You asked to see me ma’am?” the blonde stood at her side.
“Agent Randall, you’re competent right?” she had overseen missions that he had run before and trusted the man.
“Yes, ma’am,” he stared ahead and nodded once.
“Great, so I can trust you to make sure the ship doesn’t crash in the next hour?” they were approaching 10pm and she had plans.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Wonderful, don't touch anything. The course is set and we're cruising, all you need to do is read the day shifts log. If there’s an emergency, and I mean the ship is on fire or you have been killed, you can call me. Other than that I don't want to be disturbed,” she made eye contact with the agent.
“Got it, ma’am.”
She turned on her heel and made her way to a bunk that was very much not hers. There had been radio silence on her end since Natasha’s offer and as much as she wanted to double check they were still on, she didn't want the heartbreak of finding out they weren't.
The Russian’s bunk was the very last door on the right, the one on the left was for Clint. This was something Maria found out after sneaking out of Natasha’s bunk at 2am and running straight into the archer who apparently was on his way back from his “Wednesday night ice cream run”. She tried to push that thought out of her mind as she knocked quietly on the door.
“Hey-” her words were cut off from the immediate kiss that met her lips before the door had even closed. Her lip between the Russian's teeth in a matter of moments with enough pressure to draw blood.
Natasha was unzipping and pulling down the commander's uniform at a speed that seemed almost inhuman. The deputy director’s mouth pressed into the redheads, only breaking when her undershirt was pulled past their lips. She may not have been on the clock but the Russian was on a mission, fire encasing her eyes.
The brunette caught a glimpse of the two of them in the mirror that hung over the bathroom door. She was standing in just her bra, the top half of her uniform falling limply around her waist as the redhead continued to press kiss after harsh kiss down her chest. Natasha’s hair fell down her back, covering the SHIELD logo of the oversized shirt she was wearing. The Russian got on her tiptoes to lick the base of the brunette's ear and Maria had to keep from moaning at the sensation and sight in the mirror, it seemed the shirt was all the Russian was wearing.
Natasha’s hands moved to drag the rest of Maria’s uniform down. The deputy director kicked her boots off as she was pushed onto the bed, her uniform discarded in the corner of the room. Green eyes reemerged and molded her mouth to the commanders, coming up for breath only once. Maria braced herself for the ‘angry sex’ that would come next, knowing the routine. She knew the harsh movements that were to come, the ones that would leave them both exhausted and unable to think of what caused them to be angry in the first place. She waited for it.
But it never came. What started off as teeth clashing, and lip biting morphed into long holds, foreheads pressed together. There was no longer fire in the eyes of the woman in Maria’s arms, there was pain. And so the older woman held her tightly and kissed her softly, the original goal of the night long forgotten. She pushed a loose curl out of Natasha’s face and was abundantly grateful that she had always been skilled at changing plans on the fly.
“No I…” the Russian tried to push Maria off, “I want- I still want-” her voice cracked as a tear rolled down her face.
“Just let me hold you for a minute,” the brunette shushed her quietly and tried to make it sound like the position they were in was for her own benefit. In a way it was.
“I need… I need to feel Masha,” the tears were coming more steadily now as she burrowed her face into the crook of Maria's neck.
She hadn’t ever seen her like this in person before. The “hey Masha” videos were close, but Natasha had always cleaned herself up before Maria got to the destination. There was something about seeing her like this now, so raw, that threatened to break Maria’s heart. She pulled the redhead in close and kissed the top of her head.
“Then feel, feel me, feel that I’m here,” the brunette covered Natasha’s right ear and guided her left until it was perfectly positioned over her heart.
The warmth of the woman’s face on her chest was contrasted by the cool tears that ran down her side as they continued to flow. The younger woman placed her hand flat on the Commander's ribs, slowly moving her fingers in the spaces between the bones before reaching out and tracing the outline of an old scar, followed by a tattoo, then another scar. It was as if she was feeling every inch of the brunette's body that differed from other people.
She sat with the Russian, counting her breaths as she continued to cry until the tears stopped and the breathing slowed, “better?”
“I’m sorry,” her voice was small and timid.
“You never need to apologize to me for things like this,” the blue-eyed woman kissed the top of the head of the woman still pressed against her chest.
“But I promised you sex,” again her voice was small.
“That doesn't matter to me, you never have to keep your word with sex. You know that,” the deputy director remembered the conversation they had about consent and how it took another three times for the Russian to really get it. It seemed the talk didn’t truly stick, or at least she wanted to be reassured.
Natasha hummed and continued to trace the brunette's body.
“What else can I do for you?” Maria kept her voice low, her question honest. She would do whatever the woman needed.
“What’s this one from?” the Russian asked, tracing her finger over an old scar on the outside of Maria's leg.
“Hopping a chain link fence as a kid,” she smiled at the memory.
“And this one?” fingers lightly trailed over a scar on her collarbone.
“Bullet casing burn from a firefight overseas,” this one she smiled less at, they had been pinned for a few hours. There was so much adrenaline coursing through her veins she hadn’t noticed the burn until she took off her uniform hours later.
“Why a mountain range?” the redhead touched the tattoo placed on the woman's hip.
“One for every tour of duty,” she paused, “my squad and I got them after our combat patch. Every time we deployed we’d get another.
“So you went two times into war zones?” Natasha leaned up slightly to get a better look.
“Three,” the brunette corrected and answered the follow-up question that was sure to come, “the last time, I was the only one who came back. It felt wrong to get another without them.”
Natasha knew the background story of how Hill got to SHIELD, she was aware that the solider had lost people in the military. They each had their own skeletons in the closet, it just so happened that the Deputy Director had a few that were the property of the US government.
“Would you get more?”
“More tattoos?” Maria questioned back, running her fingers through the green-eyed woman’s hair.
The redhead hummed again, she had none, the life of a spy was to be as average and none remarkable as possible for most missions.
“I’ve been wanting another for a while now,” she absentmindedly touched the one on her thigh and then the one on her rib cage, “they say once you start you can't stop, and I started too long ago to stop now.”
“What would it be?”
“I don't know, I used to think that they all needed a deeper meaning. But at this point, I’d get just about anything.”
“But, I like that they have meaning,” the Russian sounded a little more like her usual self.
“Well, if Natasha Romanoff thinks that they should have meaning, then who am I to refuse her wishes?” she joked, stilling her fingers for a moment which earned a disgruntled noise from the woman on her chest.
“You’d be like most people,” the redhead sat up and looked the Commander in the eyes, “and you, Maria Hill, are not like most people.”
It took everything in the brunette to not kiss the woman in front of her right then and there, to not ask her to stay the night, stay the day, and stay all the spaces between. Her eyes are still puffy from crying Hill, get it together .
“How about you come with me next time I get one?” she couldn't help herself, there had to be more to their story.
“It’s a date,” Natasha smiled and got off the bed, something Maria told her that the spy knew exactly what she had just done.
The acting Director got back up and threw her undershirt on before zipping her uniform back up. She still had 20 minutes before she was expected back and wondered if it was enough time for her to grab food from the cafe a few floors down.
“Thanks again, for this” the Russian had thrown her hair into a bun and pulled an old t-shirt on, a t-shirt that Maria quickly recognized.
“That’s where that went,” she walked over to the woman and pulled the fabric of the shirt between her fingers. Soft and worn from years of wearing it, the Led Zeppelin logo severely faded.
“You only ever wear your uniform or SHIELD-issued gear now. I didn’t think you’d miss it but if you want it back…” Natasha knew that she wouldn’t actually willingly give the shirt back.
“No, you’re right, and it looks better on you anyway,” the Commander pulled her boots on and laced them up quickly.
“Back to work?” she asked, walking Maria back to the door to her room.
“Back to work,” she confirmed, “I’m acting Director while Fury gets you all set, so if you need anything you can find me in the bridge from 12am to 12am for the foreseeable future.”
“Sounds terrible,” the Russian scrunched up her nose.
“It is,” Maria sighed and turned to face the woman beside her, “I’ll see you later, don’t pick on the new kids too much. The scientist seems sensitive,”
“No promises,” Natasha craned her neck and kissed Maria delicately on the corner of her mouth, “bye Ria.”
“Bye Nat.”
The sound of the door locking was all Maria needed to snap back to reality. She kept her footsteps light until she knew she was in the clear from Clint or any other agent wandering the halls of the ship. Her feet instinctively carried her to the cafe where she took her first real breath as a few agents walked by.
“This it Deputy Director?” the man behind the counter scanned her lukewarm coffee and sad salad.
“Yeah that will do it-” she stopped as her eyes landed on a juice from the cooler, “actually throw this on there too please.”
“You got it, anything else ma’am?” The beep from the latest item was loud.
“Nope that’s it thank you,” she paid and looked down at her phone, if she really tried she could leave the juice in the med bay and still make it back within the hour.
She walked back to the stairwell and took the steps two at a time, leaving her slightly winded as she got to the entrance of the level. Drinking 5 cups of coffee does not count as cardio, even if your heart makes you think otherwise.
The rooms were dark and mostly quiet as she passed them one by one until she got to the nurse's station.
“Do you know if they’re up still?” she asked the nurse who was typing away at the computer.
“Not sure ma’am, the last check-in was an hour ago and the little one was still up.”
“Thanks,” the brunette replied, swiping her card and trying her best to slide the door open as quietly as possible.
“She’s still awake,” May spoke quietly from her chair by the door.
“Which means you still are,” she took in the sight of the room, the bags they had brought in looked like they had been half explored, and snack wrappers were piled up on the tabletop.
“Correct,” the woman's voice sounded tired.
Maria walked further into the room and saw Phil asleep in the recliner by the bed. Elizavetta’s eyes were heavy as she stared at the Commander, her shoes had been placed back on her feet and Maria wanted to know what the story was behind that.
“Can I give her J-U-I-C-E?” she spelled out, keeping the container behind her back.
“I doubt the sugar in that will keep her any more awake than she already is, go for it,” Melinda sighed and tilted her head back against the wall behind her.
“Hi Elizaveta,” Maria walked slowly towards the child who gave no reaction, “I brought you something.”
The child eyed her as she sat on the far end of the bed. Maria noticed that while the IV was no longer in her arm, the feeding tube was still present.
“All set on fluids?” She looked over to the woman by the door.
“Set enough to where they stopped replacing it every time she pulled it out,” May gave a small smile, “she’s tough, this one.”
“Not too tough for juice I hope?” Maria looked back to the girl who perked up at the sight of the container, “what’s with the shoes?”
“We tried to walk around the medbay earlier, she wouldn't take them off when we got back.”
Maria opened the container and handed it to the girl who took it quickly.
“Hold this while I take these off,” the brunette talked to the girl who scooted away as she got closer, “it won't hurt, I’m just trying to help so you don’t have stinky feet.”
The reality was, that the rash on the sole of her foot needed air or it would continue to grow. The girl only pulled back one more time before Maria pulled the velcro and took the shoes off, one at a time.
“Thank you,” the agent sighed from the door, “Phil refuses to make her do anything that she even looks hesitant about.”
“You just have to walk her through things and show her that they won't hurt, I think,” or at least that was her experience with the child.
Elizaveta had finished half of the juice before she stuck it back out to Maria who placed it on the rolling tabletop next to her. The girl then went back into defensively curling up on the bed and staring at the adults in the room.
“Any updates?” she asked the agent.
“Let’s see,” she pulled out her phone and opened up the document that had today's date, “so far, the metabolism stabilizers don’t seem to have any side effects, we like candy, juice, and oh beef stew so thank you for that. We do not like male physicians or IVs, or the noise that the overhead lights make in the hallway.”
“The fluorescent ones?” Maria looked up at the lights above them, they were both off, and non-fluorescent.
“Yeah, hence the outing that lasted all of 35 seconds. We also don't like changing out of our clothes, but warm washcloths on the face seem to be okay,” Melinda looked up from her phone and smiled at the little girl, “what else am I missing?”
Elizaveta shook her head.
“Oh right, we do know to say ‘no’ which I would say is useful but it seems to be one of the only words she wants to use.”
“It’s a good one to know,” Maria glanced at her watch, she had about 30 more seconds before she would need to leave, “try and get some sleep, both of you.”
She got up and turned around to stare once more at the child. One of the girl’s curls had fallen into her eyes and she used her whole hand to push it out of the way quickly, making sure to keep her eyes on Maria the whole time.
“Bye Mel, let me know if you need anything,” she turned on her heel and started out the door.
“Bye Ria, thank you for everything you’ve already done,” May kept her eyes on the child.
“No problem, bye little bear,” she called to the girl on the bed who blinked and nodded ever so slightly.
“Then why are we not on a course to Germany?” The acting Director was running on countless cups of coffee, 6 hours of sleep over the last 3 days, and her wits end, "No, please speak up, please let me know why the FUCK we are headed towards Greece,” she spoke through her teeth.
“I apologize ma’am I thought that they were close and I didn’t write down which country with a ‘G’ it was,” an agent spoke quietly as the rest of the bridge fell silent.
“Because you thought they were close? Desk duty, one month, I do not want to see you, I do not want to acknowledge your existence, I do not want to know that you are on my ship for one month, do I make myself clear?” she knew she was being harsh but she couldn’t handle this type of fuck up.
“Yes, ma’am. Do you still want me to finish my shift?” He glanced at the agent next to him.
“Agent Gerber how old are you?” she squared her shoulders and looked at the man.
“27 ma’am,” he swallowed.
“So how about you act like a 27-year-old, do some critical thinking and get off my fucking bridge,” she turned to face the full room, “Set a course to follow the direct path of the Quinjet 4, to Germany. I will not ask again.”
Her feet were loud against the metal below them as she walked back to her office to cool down. They had a hit from some of Starks tech a few hours earlier, Natasha and Steve had taken a quinjet to go and hopefully secure both Loki and the Tesseract. The Helicarrier's only job was to get there as soon as possible to provide air support if needed.
She had, wrongfully, entrusted that the night shift would be able to follow simple directions while the Commander took a 30-minute power nap. Thirty minutes later, she did not feel refreshed and was trying her best to not break her teeth as she clenched her jaw after finding out they were not on the right path.
The minty gum filled her mouth as she rested her head on the desk in front of her. She counted her breaths and tried to focus on the smell of old coffee and the second piece of gum she put in her mouth. Her mind was finally starting to calm down as she heard knocking on her door. I swear this better be good .
“Enter,” she sat up straight and let out one long breath.
“Hill, why the hell is there a fully grown man on the verge of tears in my stairwell?” Fury didn’t wait for her to finish saying enter before the door was open and he was asking questions.
“Because that fully grown man doesn't know basic geography and decided that Greece and Germany were close enough to set a course to the former,” she felt annoyance creep back in.
“I thought you went over geography with agents last week,” he raised a single eyebrow.
“I did!” she threw her hands up in exasperation, “with Charlie team, apparently everyone needs a refresher course.”
The brunette calmed her features, she had only seen Fury once in the last few days and that was when Steve and Stark were fighting over something she couldn’t bother herself to remember. It had been a long few days of not only doing her job but the Directors as well, and she knew it wasn’t over yet.
“Well get your compass out, Romanoff just let us know they are 5 minutes out,” the one-eyed man flipped his coat and exited the room. How he knew the agent was 5 minutes out, along with how he looked not even the slightest bit tired, was beyond her.
“Got it, sir,” she answered to the now empty office.
Her hands opened the charging case on her desk and shoved the comms device into her ear without thought. There was a moment of silence before she was connected to the control tower, and then on a direct line to Steve and Natasha.
“You’re connected to the bridge and mission control,” she spoke clearly, trying to make it sound like she wasn’t drained.
“Evening, Hill,” Steve responded, ever the gentleman.
“Hi, Ria,” Natasha answered and Maria could almost hear the smile on her face as she used the improper greeting.
“Expect a fight, the God hasn’t encountered a SHIELD agent without firing off a few rounds yet. We’ve informed local authorities of the situation and will be able to provide air support… at some point. But don’t rely on it.” She placed the gum between her teeth as she felt the tension grow.
“Don’t worry,” a third voice crackled in, “I’ll play the role of air support, and the role of billionaire, and the role of… well overall badass.”
“Stark this is a secure line, and you were asked to stay on the carrier,” Maria rolled her eyes and walked out of her office, heading for the monitors in the center of the room to stay vigilant.
“And you were asked to stop being a party pooper,” he sighed, “and your security is garbage, like the hot smelly kind, I’m doing a full revamp of the system.”
“You can’t just renovate a full security system, it’s a federal plan that would take-” she stared.
“Blah blah blah, listen if I’m going to be working with this agency I’m not going to be confined by these security shackles from the 80s. Plus I already started it so you can't really tell me no. In fact, you could say something like ‘thanks Tony’ or “you’re the best-” his voice was thick with mischief before he was cut off.
“Approaching drop off,” Romanoff cut in.
“Got eyes on the God,” Steve said with a grunt.
Maria was pretty sure the super soldier had just jumped from the jet but wasn’t positive until she saw him on a local CCTV they had pulled up. He shook out his legs and jogged over to the center of the square where Loki was quickly approaching an older man. From this angle, they would only have video, no audio.
Or at least that was how it had always been in the past, this time however she was able to hear with some clarity what was being said. She wondered how quickly Stark would have improvements made to other aspects of the agency. There was only so much she could do from her spot on the carrier, still, she kept an eye out for anything suspicious.
“Romanoff ready the jet, it looks like it’s getting dicey out there,” she spoke as she watched the events of Loki unfold.
By the time the God was in SHIELD custody, Maria had learned her way around the newly improved software on the ship. It was concerning how intuitive it was, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell Fury about it for fear that it might have been taken away.
“Target secure, returning back to the Carrier now,” Natasha's voice came in clear, clearer than Maria could ever remember.
“Handing you off to air control, good work everyone,” she took out her earpiece and switched channels to the appropriate people.
The setup of the offices on the Helicarrier was different from other bases. Fury, Hill, and Coulson all had offices on the bridge, in that order. Furys was first, closest to the action, and the largest with its own metal bridge that walked out over the heads of agents and directly to the glass that overlooked the ship and sky ahead.
The deputy director took in the sight from this door as she read “don’t even try mother fucker” written on a small label right above the doorknob. Which was a good enough defense against most people, but as Natasha had told her a few nights prior, Maria Hill was not most people. And so, she knocked.
“Hill, this better be good,” the Director called from behind the door.
She opened it and found herself face to face with the Director who was putting eye drops into his scarred eye. Maria had only seen it once before after an explosion had flipped his eyepatch up, she tried not to stare.
“Loki and the tesseract are both en route,” she looked at the space above his eyes.
“So should we expect them in the next hour or the next few hours when we are in Greece?” he blinked a few times and placed the eyepatch back where it normally sat.
“In an hour, sir,” she shook her head, thinking about the agent's mistake, “I can get you the tesseract for phase two as soon as they land.”
“I’ll join you on the tarmac. I want you to take the target to the holding cell in sublevel 3 and then drag Rogers and Romanoff to the medbay for a once over, I can’t have mind control spies on board.”
“Got it, sir,” she waited for him to dismiss her.
“I then want you to sleep for at least 6 hours before returning to the command center, you’re looking a little… feisty,” the man chose his words carefully, “you’re dismissed.”
She left and closed the door a little too loudly. Feisty, who did he even think he was ?
“Ma’am,” an agent called out.
“What?” she turned her head to snap back. Okay, maybe Fury had a point .
“I wanted to let you know Quinjet 4 will be returning in 43 minutes, ma’am,” he stared at the ground.
“Thank you, agent,” she tried out a softer tone before walking back to the control station.
Forty-three minutes, she just needed to be on her feet for forty-three more minutes, followed by transport and the medbay, before she could lay down in her bed and go to sleep. She wasn’t the only one feeling the pressure, from what she had heard (and been told during a “hey Hill” video) there had already been some heated moments between members of the Avenger team. Fury had been present and was able to keep most of it at bay, it was to be expected.
He was trying to bring together a group of individuals from not only all over the country but all over the universe that had drastically different personalities and thought processes. There was no way they weren't going to butt heads, it just needed to be handled properly. She knew that Fury was the man for the job and suddenly felt bad about being “feisty”. The man was probably running on less sleep than she was and dealing with much bigger problems.
And so Maria Hill found herself writing up the mission report from her end and sending Natasha, Steve, and now Tony Stark electric copies for them to fill out. She had finished the report and started to fill in the others from what she could recall before her 43 minutes were up and it was time to transport a God. A sentence the woman from Chicago never thought that she would say.
“Fury will be down here to talk to you at a later time,” she slapped her hand over the engage button and left the God in the cell.
“If you truly believe that you can hold the strength of a GOD in this-” the greasy god started yelling from his spot in the container.
“I already told you I’m fine, Hill,” Natasha rolled her eyes again, “I don't need to go to the medbay, watch the tapes he never even got the chance to touch me!”
“Oh, believe me, one day I will have the chance to touch you and it will be a touch of pain. Pain so intense that your mere mortal mind could-” he started again.
“It’s coming from Fury there’s only so much I can do, Rogers is already there” Maria argued, knowing that the Russian would eventually cave.
“Fury will be nothing, reduced to ash by the time I-”
“The director will be here to talk to you at some point in the future,” the brunette reiterated to the God.
“You’ve mentioned,” he sighed and stepped away from the glass.
“I’ll help you fill out your forms, two birds one stone,” the two women exited the sublevel, leaving Loki with a full team of guards to watch him.
“Fine, but only because I don’t want a lecture from Steve about how I’m ‘not being a team player’ again,” the redhead followed Maria up the stairwell, “plus, not a bad view.”
“Eyes on the stairs Romanoff, wouldn't want you to fall,” the Commander forced down a smile and continued to climb the stairs.
“Yeah, wouldn't want to fall for the deputy director… I mean fall because of the deputy director… I mean that if I was staring at your ass and-” the Russian continued to ramble until they got to the medbay level.
“Well hello there Elizaveta,” Maria stopped short a few steps, sending a rambling Romanoff trying to regain her footing.
The little girl was staring at the Commander, still in her tattered clothing, but this time new shoes were on her feet, ones that seemed to fit her much better. She was also disconnected from all tubes and wires, either by choice or she was making improvements.
“See this is what I meant about falling for- no I mean BECAUSE of the deputy director,” Natasha finally got back to the top of the stair, “oh, hi Phil”
But before she could say hi to the child, she was gone. Her eyes going from wide and scared to closed and gone in a portal in a matter of seconds.
“Damn it,” Phil sighed and pulled out his phone, “Yeah, she got spooked, she there? Great, yeah no I’ll head back now.”
“Holy shit,” now it was Natasha with wide eyes.
“Yesterday we got to walk around a little bit, she teleported 4 times. Today it was only once so… improvement? I think?” He walked with them back into the inner workings of the medbay, “as of now she only ever teleports back to the hospital bed or under the table."
“Can she go other places?” Maria waited as Natasha signed herself in.
“No clue, it seems like she either can't or won't go anywhere she hasn’t already been a few times. Last night she teleported into the bathroom to pee but it takes a lot out of her, we found her asleep on the tiles on the floor,” he smiled and shook his head, “it was scary when we thought we lost her but really really cute.”
“Maybe throw a tracker on her,” Maria suggested, earning a laugh from the Russian.
“I trust her, she hasn’t really done anything crazy in the last day, that’s why I was surprised when she left just now,” he furrowed his brow.
“She thinks Nat’s from the Red Room,” the commander looked at the woman next to her.
“Well I am from the Red Room… originally,” the woman cocked her head to the side.
“Right, but she got scared because she thinks you’re going to take her back I think.”
“Come by after you check out, I want her to know you’re safe. If you’re comfortable with that,” the handler waited.
“Yeah, alright.”
“Romanoff?” the nurse called from behind the station, “docs will see you, room 3.”
The Commander and the Ex-assassin walked down the hall and into room 3. If there was one thing that was constant, even on a helicarrier, it was that waiting for a doctor would take enough time for them to get comfortable. Or at least Maria got comfortable while she watched Natasha shift around on the crinkly paper of the examination table, she would never truly be comfortable in a hospital.
“Alright, so I have it filled in until Cap first engaged the target, what happened from your view next,” the deputy director listened as the woman in front of her gave her half of the report.
They sat like that for another 20 minutes before she was checked over, the physician found nothing out of the ordinary. He gave her a clean bill of health and they finished up the report in the following minutes.
“See, not so bad right? And now you’re free,” Maria stood up first.
“I guess, what are you doing now?”
“Fury gave me the next 6 hours off to sleep, want me to come with you to see the kid?” She could see the tension relax on the spy's face.
“Please.”
It was getting into the later part of the evening as they walked over to the girl's hospital room, the lights shining from behind the curtains that had been pushed to the side of the sliding door. Maria swiped her card and entered first, trying to buy them more time before the girl panicked.
“Don’t worry, it’s just Maria and her friend who you met one time. Just like I told you,” it was strange to hear May speak so kindly.
“Hi there little bear,” the Commander walked further into the room, “you remember Nata- no no don't close your eyes!”
“Hey hey wait, I’m safe ” Natasha rattled off the phrase quickly in Russian, “I’m not from The Room .”
The girl squinted before responding, “You say that you are not but you said it like the madams and misters, you talk like they did to me. ”
The adults, sans Natasha, all stood there stunned. The girl had never spoken more than 4 words at a time. Her voice was little and sweet even as she was talking about something that clearly angered her.
“I was just trying to help you, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you ,” Natasha took a seat on the bed, “I bet you’re really scared right now.”
“I… I am strong, not scared. You fear, you die. I am strong. I do not fear.” The child said it in a way that sounded as if she was reciting something, but it wasn’t a mantra Natasha knew.
“The Red Room taught you that ?” the Redhead questioned.
“Yes.”
“You will learn there are many things they taught you that are incorrect,” she let out a breath, it was creeping into uncomfortable territory for the Russian, “what else did they teach you? English I would guess. Fighting, pickpocketing. ”
“Yes,” the girl answered in English.
“But you prefer they do not know you speak something other than the mother tongue?”
“Yes ,” she shifted back to Russian, “so they dunno that I can understand them .”
Maria looked at Phil who continued to stare, she herself knew some Russian, as did May but Phil knew nothing. He was essentially standing in the dark as the conversation continued between the two Russians on the bed.
“You don’t need to do that here, you can speak English with them, they already know,” Natasha tried to fill the others in.
“But you don’t have to if you don't want to,” Phil chirped up and took the girl by surprise.
“I do not want English all time,” her accent was thick and the words weren’t perfect but the important items were said.
“Do you know why you’re here?” Maria asked.
Elizaveta looked at Natasha, “Because I got caught and I’m going to jail forever.”
“No, you’re not going to prison forever. You’re here because you were left behind,” the redhead looked pitifully at the child next to her.
“I did not get left behind, Kyra would not leave me! The Room would not leave me!” The child had tears in her eyes.
“The Red Room would leave you if they thought you were better off gone,” Natasha needed the child to understand that.
“Would not leave me, they are strongest place in the world, not leave me!” this time she yelled it in English.
“They would, they aren’t the strongest, why do you think they operate in the shadows?” the Russian pushed it, “Do you remember where you were before you worked with the God?”
The girl shook her head, “Dunno a lot before, only little pieces before and after the red spray.”
“Red spray?” Natasha didn’t know anything about that.
“Spray so you go to sleep but your body keeps going,” she scrunched up her face.
“Where did this happen? In the Room?”
“Yes, but also before you end missions so you don't wake up when they take you again,” she pushed hair out of her face and stared at Natasha.
“Come here,” the woman tried to ask gently but it still made the child flinch, the phrase had been used as a weapon no doubt.
Still, the little girl scooted over to the other side of the bed, where Natasha tried to run her fingers through her hair, only to be stopped by the matting. Maria winced at how the child didn't react even as her hair was being pulled.
“When you finish a mission what do you do?” she asked the girl who perked up at the question, clearly knowing the answer.
“Go to madams or sirs, wait for spray to wear off, stand by partner and fill in gaps or tell when they are lying, take punishment,” the girl cast her gaze downwards.
“And after that?” The redhead hadn’t actually meant for her to explain that part, only the steps after.
“Shower, redress, braid hair, sleep,” Elizaveta looked up with big eyes.
“You’re right. You finished your mission a few days ago and yet you’re not changed, why?” Natasha asked in a voice that sent a shiver down Maria’s spine. This wasn’t her Tasha, this was a woman who was raised in the Red Room.
“I do not know how to braid my hair yet alone,” the girl spoke very softly, clearly ashamed at what she had said, “Kyra did my hair or other big girls.”
“Well now you have me to do it, and Phil or May, whoever learns faster,” the Russian stood up, “you have to shower first okay?”
The child nodded and walked over to where Natasha was now standing in the bathroom. Phil followed them into the bathroom with a stack of clothing and towels, the man looked like he was prepared for beach day with 20 children.
“Here,” the redhead took the stack of clothes and found a long-sleeved shirt and shorts, both rather plain, “actually just give me everything, I got it from here.”
Coulson looked between the two in the bathroom, “are you sure? Ellie, are you okay with that?”
“Phil, I said I got it,” Natasha was tired as she scooted the man out, “just let me be The Room for her one more time so she can ease into normal life.”
And with that, the door was closed and the sound of the shower started. The door between the two rooms wasn't thick so they could all hear Natasha explaining what was happening, including how the ship had warm water.
“What just happened?” The handler looked at the two women who were sitting at the table in the corner.
“Nat just took one for the team,” Maria was the first to answer, “she speaks ‘broken baby widow’ better than anyone else”
“But do you think that’s going to make her regress or something?”
“Babe, she needed a shower, and to change out of those clothes,” May let out a long breath, “I was worried we were going to have to sedate her to get that done.”
“If she wasn’t ready though or if she gets uncomfortable or-” Phil started to spiral.
“Hey, do you trust Tasha?” Maria spoke up.
“Of course,” he replied without hesitation.
“Then don’t worry, she’s got it, and if not she can just portal out,” the Commander looked at her watch, she was down to 5 hours of sleep but this was with it, “Noticed the tubes are gone from… what did you call her? Ellie?”
“It just kinda spilled out yesterday, and she seems to like it,” May shrugged, “No more tubes, she's eating more regularly now. But if she loses any weight they all come back.”
“Fingers crossed,” Maria responded.
They all sat there and listened to what was happening in the bathroom, from the sounds of it there were a lot of tangles in the girl's hair. Natasha still had on the voice that Maria didn’t like, but every once in a while it would soften and the commander relaxed.
Phil insisted on changing the sheets to a set he had May pick up in DC. They were blue with little planets and rocket ships all over them. He smiled as he stripped the hospital white ones and started placing the new ones on.
“How do you know she likes space?” Maria helped him change the pillow cases.
“I didn't,” he dumped another bag that had 4 more sets of sheets all with different colors and patterns, “yesterday we were looking up things to watch and she stopped on the space show.”
Maria smiled, her friends were going to make great parents, “good job, Phil.”
“I’m just hoping that she'll grow into loving Captain America one day,” he finished tucking in the corners of the bed.
Melinda laughed, “Not if I have any say in the matter.”
“We can’t all grow up to love General Charles Yeager,” Phil sighed and looked at Maria, “first pilot to ever break the sound barrier.”
“Better than a man from the ’30s in tights,” the raven-haired agent cocked an eyebrow.
“Yeager is barely younger than Captain Rogers,” he straightened out the blankets, “and it doesn't really matter as long as she likes someone from the Avengers.”
Maria couldn't help but snort laugh, the man’s obsession with Captain America was only rivaled by his love of the Avengers initiative. The Commander herself didn’t see the team working out in the long run, too many differences in the options and personalities of said “heroes”. Still, she listened to her friend's spiel about it every time he got on a roll.
“Listen, it's going to work. I just know it. They are going to come together and we’re going to be able to breathe for once.”
“Whatever you say, Phil,” Maria smirked and looked at the man's partner who just rolled her eyes.
After a full 20 minutes, the shower turned off and the child emerged from the room in the long sleeve and shorts. She was nearly unrecognizable from the girl who went into the bathroom, her hair was wet and curly, stopping just below her shoulders, her face was all the way clean and her green eyes looked even brighter now. She still looked scared, but a touch more relaxed as she walked back to the bed.
“Mine?” she noticed the new sheets and ran her fingers over them.
“All yours, sweetie,” Phil beamed.
“Brush and hair ties?” Natasha looked at the handler.
“Here,” he scurried over to a bag that had both items, “I also have detangler.”
The Russian took all of the items and stood behind the child, spraying her hair before running the comb through it. Her fingers worked quickly if not a little harsh as she braided two perfect braids. She was done in a matter of minutes and rested her hand on the girl's right shoulder, squeezing twice.
The child spun around quickly and stared at Natasha, “how do you know Kyra’s taps ?”
“It’s a secret, now you have to sleep,” the redhead responded in Russian, “I gotta go, coming Maria?”
“Um.. yeah- yeah let’s go,” the Commander looked at the other two adults who looked as confused at the abrupt exit as she was.
“Great, bye guys,” Natasha swiped her card and exited the room, making a beeline to the stairwell.
Maria followed and didn’t say anything as they took turn after turn until the Russian was standing in front of the deputy director's bunk. Why they were at her place and not Natasha’s was beyond her and she unlocked the door, letting the woman next to her enter first.
“Fucking hell,” the first words out of the green-eyed woman's mouth, “God I need a drink, I need many drinks. And- fuck god that was awful I sounded just like-”
The quarters were small but well equipped as Maria pulled out a bottle of bourbon and poured two glasses. She pushed one into Natasha’s hand before turning on the shower as hot as it would run.
“Yes,” the redhead downed the drink in one swallow, “that, that is what I need right now.”
Maria downed her own drink before stripping out of her clothes and pulling the Russian into the bathroom where steam already started to gather. She pulled the tac suit that the woman in front of her was still wearing, down and kissed her passionately.
“Come on,” she led them both into the shower, letting Natasha get the hot water first, “what else do you need?”
“This, this is what I need,” green eyes closed as she tilted her head back into the shower before opening them again and staring at Maria, “and you; always need you, Mia.”
The older woman hummed, “you just want me for my body and my bourbon.”
“And what’s so wrong with that?” the Russian looped her arms around the back of Maria’s neck and pulled her into a kiss.
“Nothing,” Maria lied, “nothing at all.”
She tried to focus on the kiss, on the contrast between the warm water and the cold hands of Natasha. She tried her best not to think about how this was what she wanted all the time, rain or shine, she wanted the woman who currently had her pinned against the tile wall. The good thing about human anatomy is, when the right areas are touched, thoughts tend to disappear.
Which is how the Commander stayed for too long, blissfully out of her own mind while Natasha fulfilled her end of the angry sex that had been started days prior.