Since I can't remember when
It's been a long, long time
You'll never know how many dreams
I've dreamed about you
They say that smell is the sensation most closely linked to memory, and scents would be what you would remember long after the words spoken had ended, long after the moment was gone.
At that moment, the room smelled like lavender. The garden was in full bloom, and floral scents wafted through the open window every time the breeze shifted. He smelled musky, the aftermath of sweating underneath a thick white time suit, and faintly of aftershave. She smelled like the perfume Daniel had bought her for Christmas, and like the rose shampoo she used to wash her hair.
Somehow, Steve didn’t think the smell would be the only thing he remembered from that moment.
Her hand felt so smooth, so fragile in his own calloused hands. No doubt, she religiously used the drug store cream that was on the bathroom sink. But maybe they had grown soft after spending days behind a desk. It wasn’t like the Director of Shield could take up a rifle as she had at one time.
She was smiling at him so widely, her lips painted a vivid red, just like he remembered. Everything about her was perfect--her coiffed hair, her flawless skin, her pink blush, the red dress she wore. It wasn’t the same one she had worn in that bar what seemed like centuries ago, but it was enough that he clutched her waist tighter.
“Steve,” She whispered, and he felt her breath on his lips as he pulled her closer. “I never thought…”
He smiled. “I couldn’t leave my best girl. Not when she owes me a dance.”
She laughed breathlessly and rests her head against his chest. Tears clump together on her eyelashes, and her fingers dug into his shoulders.
“It’s okay,” he whispered.
So she let go, and she sobbed. She could feel mascara running down her cheeks in thick streams. It was itchy. She didn’t care.
“Steve,” She whispered, his name a prayer on her lips. “Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve…”
She thought, briefly, of Daniel. But...Steve. She knew the answer before she could even fully ask the question. (Daniel would understand).
“Promise me, Steve. I’m not dreaming?”
“I promise,” Steve said, hugging her yet tighter to himself. “I’m here.”
This, this image was what he wanted to be stained into his mind. Her in his arms, tear-stained, with her carefully painted face crumbling.
“I can’t believe you came back.”
He only paused for a second. She didn’t notice. He pushed her back, looking her fully in the face. She seemed as though she was glowing, despite the mascara running down her face in clumps and her blush growing splotchy. Perhaps this was the moment he wanted to remember.
“Peggy,” He said, his voice soft. “I didn’t come back for you.”
It took a moment, and then her eyes were widening in a way that would once have made Steve do anything she asked. “Steve?” She whispered, her voice caught in her throat. “But then…”
“I need to know where Zola is.”
The color drained from her face. “Steve, I…I can’t tell you that. Unless…” She squared her shoulders. “You’ll come work for us, right? We need Captain America.”
He stiffened. “Are you bargaining with me, Peggy?” There was an edge to his voice that caused her to pause. “Well? Are we negotiating for information?”
She groaned. “It’s not like that and you know it. I can’t give away privileged information. And, and…” She raised her voice to hide the way it shook, “this is your duty, Steve. You know it is. You were meant for such great things!”
Great things, Steve mused, were far different from good things.
“I’m not joining any organization that hired Zola,” he said between gritted teeth.
“Steve,” she replied slowly, “it’s not that easy. Sometimes, there aren’t any good choices…”
And really, if he was any less of a man, he would have punched her right then. As it was, he gripped her so tightly he would leave bruises. “You have exactly one chance to tell me where Zola is.”
“Steve! Steve, let go!” She pushed against him angrily. “How dare you! How dare you come…”
“How dare I what?” Steve’s voice was barely above a snarl, and he pushed her roughly away from himself. “Tell me where Zola is.”
Peggy was slowly backing up. “I knew it. I knew it! You’re not Steve. Steve would never…”
“Would never what? Hm?”
“He would never hurt me,” She hissed.
He tilted his head. He could feel a coldness gripping his heart, a physical thing like icy fingers wrapped around him. “I used to think the same of you. Which was rather dumb, considering. You weren’t exactly secretive about your…” He looked her up and down. “Well, your reckless propensity for violence.”
“What? What are you talking about? Steve, I…”
“I’m done talking about this. Tell me where Zola is. Now.”
She was slowly backing up, her hands held in front of her chest. “You have to understand…”
“Oh, I don’t have to understand anything.” His laugh was a cruel thing, and if she were less of a woman, it might have scared her. “Peggy Carter, head of Hydra!” He said, sweeping his arms around the room.
Her face grew red. “You take that back! You take that back right now!”
“Then tell me where Zola is.”
“No. He’s an asset…”
Asset. Wipe him. Start over. Put him back in cryo. Get the Asset. Asset asset asset asset I’m not worth this Steve
It felt like every muscle inside him was clenched. If he didn’t, if he let go, if he let himself have this one thing…
“Stand down Rogers. Eyes on the prize.”
He forced himself to relax. “So you really have fooled yourself into thinking you have a handle on him." He walked away from her for a second, his eyes drawn to the glass decanter on the side table. Moments like this, he almost wished he could still get drunk. “And of course you haven’t done anything that would be considered unethical. Not like you’re keeping a list of people who are different from you, right?”
His back was to her when he heard the click of her gun. “Whoever you are,” She said, her voice hard. “You’re under arrest.”
He rolled his eyes.
He whirled around, catching her by the wrist and twisting it until she cried out and the gun dropped into his open hand. He crushed it in his grip. “Now come on, Pegs. You really thought that was going to work?”
“You won’t get anything out of me,” She hissed. “What are you going to do? Try and torture it out of me? Not really your style.”
He grinned and smoothed his hands down her arms. “You’re right. It’s not.” He took a step back. “It’s hers.”
Peggy felt a needle in her neck moments before blacking out.
The last thing she saw through blurry vision was a red-haired woman towering over her, dressed in black. “I’ve gotta say Steve, I didn’t know you had that in you.”
Steve didn’t say anything. Peggy remembered him once saying he wouldn’t stop until all of Hydra was dead or captured.
For one brief moment before complete darkness, she was scared.