The Best Moments
The best moments were the understated ones. The ordinary, routine moments that were normally overlooked. Just another night, just another television show, just another stretch of time connecting dinner with bedtime.
But every once in a while, Beth would take a second to pull herself out of those moments and cherish them as something a little... more.
More connective, like when they were young and watched nature documentaries. They'd barely been with her for a year. Five restless, expressive toddlers that were suddenly her responsibility. Her very stressful, tiresome responsibility. But when she'd finally found the one thing to play in the evening that wouldn't agitate or bore them, that's when she felt like they actually had a chance to connect. To bond.
Wrecker would be nestled against her chest, ooh-ing and aww-ing at the different animals. Echo would be leaning against her other side shushing him in response. Crosshair liked to curl up in the corner of the couch and quietly watch behind a stuffed animal, while Hunter preferred to sprawl out on the other side of the couch with his own animals. He was usually the first to be lulled to sleep. And Tech would be at her feet, wide eyes glued to the screen in fascination. He was usually the last to fall asleep, if he ever did.
She would sit amongst them all and try to get over the fact she couldn't keep up with the exciting murder mysteries and sexy medical dramas everyone else was watching, and instead focus on these boys she was now calling her songs. She'd take in all their features, feel their warmth as they snuggled close, even in the summer. She'd observe how they reacted to certain things, getting excited about some biomes and animals, but not others. She got to know them, who they were, who they might become.
Or the moments were more fun, like when they were older kids and watched The Amazing Race. There were not a lot of family-friendly reality shows to choose from, especially not on these subscription services that were becoming popular. But this one was innocent enough. It was exciting and adventurous, and showed off a whole wide world that Beth knew she couldn't afford to show them herself.
There was much more talking during these times. Which of the travelers would make it to the check point and which would be eliminated. What the next countries might be, and what fun facts they all happened to know about these different places. Which of their brothers they would travel with if they were on the show. Sometimes those discussions ended in some squabbles and tears, because inevitably someone would be left out and "have" to go with mom. Which Beth would then dramatically protest against and get them all laughing again.
These times were less about getting them to fall asleep and more about giving them something to look forward to. And to give herself a bit of a break from the daily grind. From the morning rush before school to the frenzy of dinnertime, those days could sometimes feel like a never-ending circus, but their family time by the TV reminded them to enjoy life anyway. Together.
And then the moments became more infrequent as they grew into teenagers. But somehow, they were also more meaningful, too. Beth was able to reclaim her own TV time, without the fear of young eyes accidentally seeing something they weren't ready to understand yet. It was also her personal alone time, something that'd been nearly impossible to find until the boys became more self-sufficient. She would grab an armful of snacks, set herself up amongst a pile of pillows and blankets in her bed, and resume binging the next trendy show of the week.
But the moments, those bonding, fun, and sincere moments, came when she wasn't alone. It was inevitable, no matter how independent they insisted they were, one of them would come crawling into bed to watch with her.
It was usually Echo. He'd start by sticking his head through the door, saying he just wanted to check on her, make sure she was okay. And then limb by limb he'd get further into the room, coming up with more things to say, until eventually he'd be leaning back at her side just as he used to when he was young, helping her polish off the Oreos and laughing along with whatever ridiculous plot line was going on.
Hunter popped in pretty regularly, too, though he only pretended to be interested in the show. Eventually the volume would be lowered in favor of letting him vent about whatever was on his mind. School, his brothers, sports, girls, his brothers... He always took on so much and didn't like to show how frustrated and exhausted he was in front of others. So Beth didn't mind missing out on an episode if it meant she could finally get him to let it out.
Occasionally Wrecker or Tech would wander in, and it was always pleasantly surprising when they did. Wrecker wasn't one to relax very often. He hit the ground running in the morning and wouldn't stop until he was fast asleep that night. But sometimes he grew bored, or maybe it was the snacks. Either way, Beth didn't complain, since he always found a way to make even a boring courtroom procedural funny with his comments and reactions.
Tech provided commentary, too, but it was more informative. Or at the least inquisitive. He'd ask her what was going on or who certain characters were, and she'd go off trying to recap all the drama that had happened so far, watching with amusement as he tried to follow along. But even though he claimed it was all so unrealistic, he'd still stick around to watch the next series of events unfold. He said he only wanted to see if his predictions were right, but Beth suspected he missed her company sometimes.
The most rare was Crosshair, and it was always when they both needed it the most. His moments were quiet and tender. Sometimes she would let out a reaction, sometimes he would ask her to pass the popcorn bowl. But otherwise they would watch the story in silence and hold on to each other. It didn't matter how old he was, how tall and lanky he was. He'd still unabashedly cuddle with his mom, just as long as the door was shut and no one knew about it.
Those were the best moments. When she could sit amongst her children and live the life they were so lucky to have together. They weren't the glamorous moments. The milestones or the victories or even the hardships. They wouldn't be jotted down in a memoir or retold for years to come. They probably weren't even moments the boys themselves cared to remember. But they were her moments, and she cherished every single one.