Atonement

 Chapter Two

Tony didn’t bother packing his bags. As soon as his tears dried up, he put on his suit and flew right out of the tower. He didn’t care where his suit was taking him just as long as it isn’t anywhere near his A—near the Captain.

He felt so foolish thinking Steve’s love for him was enough. He was so confident that nothing, not even the return of the great James Bucky Barnes can change the strength of their bond. Everyone always said they were perfect for each other. Pepper told him Steve brought out the best in Tony that she never could.

Maybe they were right. Maybe Pepper couldn’t bring out the best in Tony. But she sure as hell never brought out the worst in him too.

Steve and him. They were passionate. They were strong and unyielding like the iron and shield their personas carried.

Put under very high temperatures, those two will melt.

When Tony found out he was pregnant, everything in him screamed to tell his Alpha the wonderful news. The only reason he didn’t was because Steve was never around for too long, and if he was, his attention was always on Bucky. Tony barely talked to his Alpha at all.

They weren’t trying for a pup, of course, but it didn’t mean they hadn’t discussed the possibility of one. Steve told Tony he wanted to start a family. Tony hadn’t realized he wanted it as well until Steve came into his life. This pup was meant to be the final piece of their bond— a baby for them to love and care for together.

Tony hadn’t taken it into consideration that he’d have to raise their pup by himself.

If he had told Steve, would the Alpha stay? Tony was sure Steve wouldn’t have broken up with him if he’d told him about the pup. Yet, call him mad, he doesn’t want the pup to be the only reason his Alpha stays with him. His father had done the same and look how he treated his son? With disdain and regret. No, it was only right that Steve hadn’t known. He’s a mother now, and his pup will always be his first priority.

Two hours later, the suit landed outside his Malibu home. It’s meant to be a surprise. The home, that is. He supposes the pup should have been, too. Tony only just rebuilt it after the whole Mandarin incident. He wanted to bring Steve here in summer but he guessed that’s a null at this point. It’s never going to be a home anymore just like the tower stopped being one when his heart got broken. If he wasn’t pregnant, he would have gone straight to the bar and drunk himself to oblivion. But he is and nothing in the world could make him sacrifice his own child for temporary sanity. He promised himself he was going to be the best momma his pup will have and that means taking care of himself. This pup is the only thing left of their love and he’ll protect it for as long as he lives.

Realizing he hasn’t eaten dinner yet, he sent an order to his favorite restaurant and had it delivered right away. His baby, at only five and a half weeks old, is already demanding risotto like the quarter-Italian that they are. Thank God he wasn’t throwing up so much like the next pregnant omega on the block or he would have thought he was cursed to suffer at all sides.

It seemed cliché but putting food in his tummy brought him in a better mood. He moved around the house and double-checked each room, already thinking of ways to make it appear lived. The room near the east balcony was perfect for a nursery and it’s connected to a bigger—though not the largest—room. Tony can already see himself taking up the space with his little bean. If this is gonna be his life from now on, he might as well start planning it.

**

It took the next morning before anyone noticed something was wrong. Steve hadn’t joined Sam in their morning run, Bruce slept the whole night, and Tony wasn’t currently zombie-walking into the kitchen for a cup of coffee, never mind that he was actually drinking tea the whole time without anyone noticing.

The concern only doubled when Bucky came in agitated and told everyone awake that Steve locked himself in his room. Not his and Tony’s room but the room Tony first gave him when he came to live in the tower.

Unlike Tony believed, the team did notice the growing distance between the bonded pair. They haven’t said anything fearing it would only cause Tony distress and make him hide behind his self-destructive defenses. But after last night, Natasha had planned a rather blunt talk with Steve regarding his treatment to his omega. It was the last straw. They haven’t had a movie night all month long and Natasha was stupid to hope the calm get-together would bring the two closer again. She and the rest of the team weren't blind to just how lonely Tony seemed to be ever since James arrived, but last night was just painful. James had pointed it out to Steve multiple times over the course of the month but Steve was too stubborn, refusing to let his best friend suffer without him by his side. He had dedicated all his time and effort to James’ acclimation to society that he forgot his responsibility as a bonded alpha.

"JARVIS, has something happened between Steve and Tony?" Natasha asked the unusually quiet A.I.

JARVIS didn't answer immediately, causing the team to straighten up in alarm. "Sir and Captain Rogers have separated though not unbonded, Miss Romanoff." Yet. Not unbonded yet. Based on the cool tone of the A.I., the possibility of bond-breaking was not far off the list.

"What the fuck?!" came Clint's surprised exclamation. "Why weren't we informed right away? Where's Tony?!"

"I am not at liberty to say, Mr. Barton, but I can assure you Sir is safe and well."

Sam shook his head, dropping his head onto his palm. "I knew something was wrong. We knew something was wrong and we didn't do anything."

"This is my fault," James muttered gruffly and avoided eye contact. "If I hadn't... If I hadn't come here, this wouldn't have happened."

Clint obviously wanted to agree with James but kept his mouth shut. He had nothing against the soldier but it was no secret Steve changed the moment they both stepped through the door.  Sam, on the other hand, had no qualms about speaking up, nor did he agree with the soldier.

"This isn't your fault, Bucky. We don't know what happened yet."

"I know Tony," said Bruce quietly, "he would never break up with Steve unless it's what Steve wanted."

Natasha saw James glare at the floor before dashing back to the elevator, most likely heading to Steve's room and giving him an earful. Bruce shook his head and left the kitchen without another word. Clint followed not a minute later. Natasha knew the archer, the only other bonded in the group, was already planning multiple ways to murder Steve. The only one left in the room with her was Sam since Thor was still in New Mexico with Jane.

"Oh, Steve, what have you done?"

**

"Sir, you have a call from Miss Romanov and Mr. Barton sent you another text message."

Tony picked up the soldering rod and instructed JARVIS to block all calls and messages. He didn't need to hear their shock about the break-up nor their pity, as they obviously all know now. He's doing fine since landing in Malibu last night. He ate both dinner and breakfast, slept more than four hours, and drank all the vitamins he and his pup needed. There was nothing left for him in New York. Steve now has Bucky and the Avengers have Sam as air support. Either way, his pregnancy puts him on the bench for the foreseeable future. The company has been doing well without him and he doubts the Board of Directors wants to see him so soon after insulting them at the previous meeting. Sue him, his hormones were going haywire.

He already called Pepper as soon as he woke up and told her he was moving to California and wanted to have Happy pack up his things in the tower post haste. Pepper demanded an explanation he couldn’t give so he hung up the phone and left it at that. JARVIS must have told her what happened because a few minutes later, he received a message from the CEO assuring him his stuff will be delivered to Malibu overnight and that she hopes he was taking care of himself. No one, not even Pepper before today, knew about the Malibu house rebuilt. He wasn’t worried about anyone coming in for a surprise visit. Regardless, he had JARVIS put the mansion on lockdown just in case.

So, in typical Tony Stark fashion, he spent all day in his lab and burying his problems in fixing machines. He’d probably finish the three-month R&D workload in a few days if he’s continuing at the pace he’s at. He never once let himself think about his Alpha and the bond they’re likely breaking soon. There’s no use in beating himself up for something he can’t control.

Over the course of the week, the others kept trying to reach him without any success. JARVIS informed him Natasha and Clint even tried to enter his lab to look for clues. They didn’t find anything, of course. Tony can disappear easily if he wanted. He’s got the world’s most intelligent system able to hide even the smallest detail. Sooner or later, they would have to give up.

He felt a little petty when JARVIS told him Steve earned a lot of colorful words from Clint and a cold shoulder from Bruce. He’s pettily glad his friends were protective of him but he wished they wouldn’t antagonize Steve. It’s not Steve’s fault Tony doesn’t hold a candle to Bucky.

The charade continued on for the week to come. Much to his surprise, Steve left the most messages. All were apologies and declarations of love but with the bond weak from the distance, Tony couldn’t be sure of the truth. At six, going seven weeks pregnant, Steve should be feeling the changes in his Alpha. If Tony were around, Steve would have been overly possessive by instinct, always having the urge to feed and dote on the omega all day. Too bad they’re thousands of miles apart.

No matter how much Tony tried to forget Steve and do well on his own, having his heart broken and bond weakened all while being pregnant weren't easy to accept. The past two weeks were hell despite all his efforts. Being alone and away from his friends gave him the time to think things through. He knows he's going to have to raise his pup himself, but he doesn't know what to do about Steve. Surely, he'll know Tony's pup is his. Could he even go back to the tower at all? It's not fair for his little one to live in hiding.

If he were being honest, Tony wants to let Steve know about their baby. There was no way the alpha wouldn't know. There will come a time Steve or one of the Avengers can track him down to California. It’ll be so easy to step out in public and have the Alpha come in guns blazing regardless of their recent break-up. But the pain of their break-up was still too fresh and his fear that Steve would never put their pup's life over Bucky's still haunts him. There’s only one thing to do.

People often describe him as impulsive. At that moment, they might not be wrong.

**

"You're going where?!"

Tony cringed and pulled the phone away from his ear at the sound of Pepper screeching.

“Think about it, Pep. It’s the perfect plan!” pushed Tony. “No one will think to look for Tony Stark in Italy, much less at a vineyard. Very few know about my relation to the Carbonells and none will know where to look if they did. I already talked to Zio Lorenzo. He said I’m more than welcome to stay there.”

He felt rather than heard Pepper’s sigh. “Are you still even close to your family, Tony? The last time you talked to them was years ago. You said you haven’t visited the vineyard since you were a pup yourself!”

Tony rolled his eyes and huffed. “La famiglia è la famiglia, Pepper. Carbonells take care of their own.”

“But a year and a half? I understand wanting to get away from Steve. That asshole doesn’t deserve you at all, but what you’re doing is hiding!”

“I’m not… this isn’t me hiding, Pep,” said Tony softly over the phone. “I have to do this.”

Pepper was obviously frustrated but the defeated sound in Tony’s voice made her pause. “Why, Tony? What could possibly be a goo—”

“I’m pregnant.”

“Come again?”

Tony sighed loudly. “I said I’m pregnant. Seven weeks to be exact. And no, Steve doesn’t know. I haven’t had the chance to tell him since he was always not around. You know what happened after.”

“Oh, Tony,” lamented Pepper alongside his own feelings. “Are you alright? Nevermind, stupid question. Have you seen a doctor yet? Does anyone else know?”

“Cho knows. I came to her when JARVIS detected some kind of hormonal imbalance. I thought it was just because I was feeling neglected, you know? She’s back in Korea right now so I doubt she slipped anything to the others,” explained Tony rather quietly, only realizing how sad his life became that only two other people knew about the baby he already loves so much.

Pepper was quiet as well for a minute. “And Italy? Are you sure about this? Would it be better if you come home? Steve… I know he’s an asshole but I thought you both wanted a family, Tones.”

“Families don’t abandon each other for any reason. Especially not because of a turnabout in priorities. My pup deserves better than that. I deserve better than that.”

“You’re right. Of course, you do,” assured his best friend gravely. “So, Italy then? When are you leaving?”

A smile crept onto Tony’s face, glad that Pepper seemed to accept his decision. He was leaving regardless of what she says but it was nice to know she had his back. “The day after. My uncle’s daughter—my cousin—has just gotten married and moved out. I thought it’d be nice to keep him and his omega some company.”

“Well, I assume you don’t want anyone knowing your whereabouts?” At Tony’s confirmation, Pepper continued, “I’ll handle it. Just promise me you’ll be careful?”

“I will.”

**

The last thing Pepper wanted was to face the Avengers so soon after her talk with Tony. She wasn’t being fair, but she can’t help but feel infuriated by the information she got from JARVIS. The team were all aware of what was happening between Steve and Tony and not one of them even bothered to step up.

Then again, she hadn’t really noticed, had she? She’s been to busy the past couple of months because of the SI expansion in Central Asia that she rarely had the time to visit. With Rhodey still on tour for another 6 months or so, Tony didn’t have anyone on his corner. She had thought Clint and Nat would take up the role, especially after the shovel talk Steve received from the two spies. How could anyone let this stew up for a month? No wonder Tony left as soon as he could. With him being pregnant, his omega instincts would have been so confused.

The whole crew was waiting for her in the living room by the time she arrived. It was obvious from the seating arrangement that Clint and Bruce were in no way on good terms with the Captain, judging by their glares and Steve’s hunched shoulders. Good, thought Pepper. He should feel guilty.

“Pepper,” Steve started. The audacity of the man, honestly.

“It’s Ms. Potts to you, Captain Rogers. You lost that right when you broke your promise,” Pepper said steely, refusing to cut eye contact with the super-soldier. She wanted him to know how mad she was. “Anyway, you all know why I am here. Tony left last night—”

Steve visibly flinched at the wording. Pepper had noticed James sitting too rigidly beside him. “—and as much as I want to drag him back, I respect his wishes to be alone for the time being. Stark Industries will continue to fund the Avengers and you are to stay in the tower for as long as you like. Tony made me promise to tell you all that he expects his robot children to be cared for properly at the time of his absence. All your gears and armors will be handled by his interns, Mr. Parker and Mr. Keener under his supervision. He doesn’t want any of you to find him. You can at least give him that.”

“When is he coming back, Pepper?” asked Bruce softly, as if afraid that she would snap at him like she did to Steve.

“Not anytime soon, Dr. Banner. He is well and safe, that is all you need to know. He already has a complicated project on his hand so I don’t doubt he’ll be occupied for a while.” Which, in this case, a while means 18 years or more. Not that they know anything about it.

“But what about the Avengers? Don’t tell me he’s retiring, Pep,” said Natasha.

Pepper rolled her eyes but it was more fond than it is annoyed. “You and I both know Tony would die before he lets go of Iron Man. I assume he’s simply on the bench for the time being. Don’t worry, he’ll be back when the time is right.”

“When… when do you think that’ll be?” Steve asked again. Pepper almost snarked at him again but she stopped when she realized the Super-soldier looked almost in tears.

“Captain… Steve, you’ll have to give him all the time he needs. He was heartbroken, do you understand that? You were bonded and you broke it off for what? Because you couldn’t manage your time between your best friend and your bondmate? He needs the time to think about his life and where it might lead to, and you need to sort out yours.”

“I didn’t… I didn’t mean it like that. He— I can’t— it wasn’t—”  

“You didn’t mean to truly break it off with him for good?” Pepper clarified when it was obvious the captain couldn’t string more than a few words. “That’s not what he thinks and frankly, I can’t fault him for assuming so. A month, Steve. You ignored him for a month. No respectable Alpha does that to their omega.”

And that was enough for the great Captain America to break. The scent of a despairing alpha was clear in the room, regardless that Steve wore an extremely potent scent-blocker. The man’s shoulders were shaking, much to everyone’s surprise. No one, not even James by the looks of it, had ever seen Steve cry.

No matter how angry Pepper was, she always knew Steve’s love for Tony was real. Their bond was unparalleled to the point that she almost changed her mind about the existence of soulmates. Steve made a colossal mistake—that much is true—but he was genuinely sorry for it and wanted to do everything to fix his mistake. Pepper can’t fault him for that.

“He will come home, Steve. I know he will. When that time comes, I want you to promise me you will do everything to make up for the pain you caused him. He loves you, still loves you, and will always love you. But the trust? You have to earn that again.”