Always Be My Baby

The plane ride went so smoothly. 

Besides for take off and landing where Peter cried the whole time, he was happy and laughing, listening to his parents for the most part and he and Morgan even ate a sandwich together plus pasta with chicken. 

It was an amazing flight that Tony actually found himself enjoying. 

Peter was hilarious and had such a witty side to him when he was in a good mood and he thankfully got five hours of that. 

He took a quick nap on top of Tony for about forty minutes, woke up for a diaper change and then went back to playing with Morgan. 

Now, they were in the Maldives and all they had to do was drive two hours to their rented house and everything would be perfect. Well, everything already was perfect. Peter was with him, life would always be perfect. 

People were starting to get off the plane but it was taking a bit longer for Tony and Pepper to gather everything up. Peter was refusing to put on pants and his shoes and Tony decided that wasn’t a fight he wanted to have with him. 

“Do whatever then.” He tossed three pacifiers into the bag and swung it onto his shoulders. “If you want to walk though you need to put shoes on. Look, I have crocs for you.” 

“They’re red!” Peter loved that. 

“I want crocs too.” Morgan saw her brother getting some and wanted them for herself. “Can I have pink ones?” 

“I have some for you but let’s get off the plane first.” Making sure they had everything, Tony took Peter’s hand and walked off the plane, Peter finally getting to see the pilots. 

“Daddy. Look. They’re not ours.” That confused Peter. 

“No, they’re not. Keep walking, buddy. Say thank you to them.” Peter tried to touch one of their pants but Tony grabbed his arm, pulling him away and down the steps. 

The hot humid air hit them as soon as they stepped out of the plane. It was like a breeze of happiness. Humid weather like this always associated Tony with happy memories and now he was going to make so much more and he couldn’t wait. 

He walked down the steps with Peter, not surprised when he jumped down the last two steps. It was hot. He was jealous of Peter wearing no pants. 

Peter reached down to touch the runway. “It’s hot. Where’s Aiser? His paws will burn.” 

“Let’s go get him. We have to go inside the terminal.” 

“We need to pick up our rental car as well but I have no idea where we go for that.” Tony wasn’t too worried. They’d find it when they find it. First they needed to get Aiser and their bags. 

The five of them walked into the terminal, simply following the rest of the people from their plane. It was a small airport but it made it so much more simple for them to get their luggage at carousel seven. 

All six bags. Tony loaded them onto a trolly while they waited for Aiser to be brought out to them. He was looking at Peter sitting on one of the bags, picking at the lock on the zipper while he sucked on the pacifier. He barely had the pacifier in Banff. He basically only used it at nights or on car rides and would often ask for it, suck on it for a few minutes then give it back. 

Tony hoped it would be the same here but he didn’t have any intentions to fully take it from him on this trip, for all their sake. 

“Hi mom.” 

Tony looked over at Pepper, seeing her on the phone. 

“Yeah we just landed and got all our bags but we’re just waiting for Aiser. Yeah, I know, we’re so excited to see you too. Yeah, Peter’s with Tony. He’s just sitting here. Okay. Okay, we’ll see you soon. Bye mom.” Pepper pocketed her phone and put her hair into a bun. “Grandma is so excited to see us.” 

“And me?” 

“Especially you.” 

Peter grinned. He missed his grandparents. He loved it when his grandpa told funny stories and his grandma read to him. “I’m going to draw them a picture.” 

“Well good luck with that because we don’t have anymore paper.” 

“Aiser Stark?” 

Tony turned to the man rolling out a cage. “Yeah, that’s our dog.” 

“Alright. I just need you to sign here and here.” Tony picked up the pen and signed his name down, unable to contain his smile as he heard Aiser jumping around excitedly in his crate. 

Once he signed the papers, he opened up the cage, knowing Aiser was feeling so relieved to not only be with his family but to be out of that crate. It was large but still, seven hours in it was a long time. 

Aiser jumped on Peter and would’ve knocked him on his butt if Tony didn’t catch him. “Aiser. Down.” Their dog knew better than to jump on others, especially Peter but he was just excited. 

“He’s a good dog. He listens.” Peter patted his soft head. 

“He listens better than you do.” 

“No. I listen. I’m a good boy too.” 

Debatable, Tony thought. “Okay, one two three for five six of us, let’s go get our rental car and go see grandma and grandpa.” 

“Why can’t they pick us up?” Morgan just finished getting on her crocs then grabbed Peter’s hand so they could walk together. 

“Because there wouldn’t be enough room in the car. Peter, stop running your hand along the wall. It’s full of germs.” 

“Okay.” 

This boy. 

They got their rental car which was going to be the tightest fit. “Tony, with Peter’s car seat, they are going to be so squished back there.” Pepper pointed out as she got Peter buckled in. Morgan had to sit in the middle but even then, it was so tight. 

“It’s a two hour drive. I don’t feel comfortable with him sitting without a car seat.” Peter still sat in one for a reason and that reason was because he absolutely would not sit still in the car otherwise. 

“Your skin is sweaty. Stop touching me.” 

“I literally can’t help it, Morgan.” Harley tried to shove her away but there was nowhere for her to go. “Please take the car seat out.” He begged, even with the windows down it was sweaty. 

“Okay. Alright,” Tony made the decision even though he desperately wanted to keep Peter in a car seat. “Pete, you’ll sit without a car seat like a big boy. But that means you need to stay sitting. Do you understand? The roads can be dangerous if you’re out of your car seat.” 

“Yeah. Cause we’ll fall off a cliff.” 

“Sure. So be good and stay in your seat.” Tony worked on unhooking the car seat again and now had to somehow manage to try to shove it in the back. He could barely see out the back window but at least it wasn’t so squishy for the kids. “Okay, you.” Tony got him buckled in but seeing him sitting in the seat made him look ten times smaller. 

How the hell was Tony ever expected to let him go out in this world when he looked so small and vulnerable sitting in the seat. 

“This seatbelt stays on. Do you understand?” 

Peter was looking at it like he was trying every possible way to get out of it. He spent basically his whole life in a car seat during car rides, with a small window of time in just a booster seat. So this was definitely weird for him, Tony had to understand that. 

“Harley. I need you to sit in the middle and just make sure he keeps it on.” 

“For the whole car ride?! Seriously?” 

“Yes, seriously. I need you to be an older brother and help out. Alright? I’m driving, and your mother is in the front seat.” Tony fixed Peter’s arms when he tried putting it through the wrong way. “Peter. Stop. Sit exactly like this.” 

Tony shut the door after making sure the child safety lock was on it then got into the driver's seat. Great. This was going to be a difficult car ride. 

And difficult was an understatement. 

They haven’t even been driving for thirty minutes and Peter was already acting up. He took off his seatbelt twice and when Harley put it back on him, he tried to get his legs through the chest buckle. “Look.” 

“Peter. Stop. Dad, he’s putting his feet through the seatbelt.” 

“Take the pacifier from his mouth.” Tony instructed while also trying to focus on driving. An hour and twenty more minutes to go. He heard Peter scream so he held his hand back, taking the pacifier from Harley. “Peter. Enough. You are smart enough to understand that you need to stay in your seat.” 

“Give it back!” He cried then grabbed Harley’s arm and bit him. Hard. 

“Owwww! Fu- oh my god. He literally drew blood. He just bit me with his pointy teeth.” Harley squeezed his cheeks, trying to get back at him but not to actually hurt him. “Why do you bite like a freaking toddler?” 

“He doesn’t know how to express himself, Harley. Peter. You do not bite people.” There wasn’t much Tony could do from the driver's seat. 

Pepper also couldn’t do much either. “Peter. Honey. Take a deep breath. You need to stay sitting down with your seatbelt on. We’ll be there soon. I promise.” She reached a hand out but couldn’t reach him so he threw his head to the side and smacked the side of the door then sobbed. 

“Okay. I’m pulling over and putting him in a car seat. This isn’t working.” Tony knew all along it wouldn’t work. Peter was misbehaving but could Tony blame him? He was used to his car seat, it was his safe place in a car. 

Tony pulled over onto some grassy part off to the side of the road where he could see wild horses running off in the distance. 

He got out of the car, immediately taking Peter out and pulling him into a tight embrace. “Take a deep breath and calm down. Tell me what’s wrong.” 

“I-I wan’ paci!” Peter cried, chewing on his fingers. 

“Not right now. I want you to communicate with me what you’re feeling.” Tony encouraged, stroking his cheek. “What’s wrong?” 

“I-I…” Peter didn’t know. He wanted his pacifier. He was upset that Harley took it from him without asking and he was feeling betrayed. And he was also frustrated that he had to sit still for so long and hated how he struggled with that but Morgan, who was younger than him, didn’t struggle with it. He looked at her, she was calmly drawing away on her iPad. So why did he struggle so much to sit still? He groaned in frustration then bit Tony on the shoulder. 

“Peter. That hurts when you bite. Look at me, you need to use words and tell me what you’re feeling because I can’t read your mind.” Tony held the pacifier in front of him. “This pacifier is keeping you from actually talking and I don’t like that. I need you to talk to me. Please, baby.” 

Peter wrapped his arms around Tony’s neck. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. He found it so hard to get the words out. “Paci.” 

Tony rocked him side to side. “Tell me what you’re feeling then I’ll give it to you.” 

Peter watched a car drive by over his dad’s shoulder. He loved being in his arms. It was his safe place. He never wanted to grow up. “I… I don’t… I wanted-I didn’t like… I don’t like sitting in the car.” 

“Okay. I understand car rides can be so difficult to sit through sometimes. Especially after a long airplane ride and a long travel day. But after this car ride, we’ll be at our vacation house for the next ten days.” 

Peter listened to him. “I don’t want to sit back in the car.” 

“Can I tell you a secret?” Peter lifted his head up, nodding. “I don’t want to either. But we have one more hour until we’re there. So soon. Do you want to take a nap?” 

Did he? No. He didn’t. He did want a diaper change though because it was getting really full and uncomfortable on him. “No nap. And my diaper…” 

“I know, I feel it. I’ll change you then you’ll sit in your car seat.” Pepper already had the car seat out and ready to be secured in, much to Harley’s dismay. 

“I’m going to sit back here with him to help him through the rest of the car ride.” She suggested which was probably the best idea. And Harley cheered when he found out he got to sit in the passenger seat. 

Tony grabbed a diaper, wipes and cream. He looked around. They were literally driving in the middle of nowhere but that also meant no one was around to see anything. “Diaper change on the grass it is.” 

“Paci.” He took it from Tony as soon as he handed it to him and tried to climb back into the car once Tony put him on his feet but Tony grabbed his arms. 

“Stand here and wait until I change your bum.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I need to change your bum.” Tony had to hold him with one arm to get him to stop moving around, he would’ve asked Pepper to hold him still to make this easier for him but Tony could handle it. Hence why he did every diaper change lying down so Peter couldn’t act like he was changing up to run a marathon. Crazy boy. “You’re done. Climb back into your car seat.” 

“I want to go see the beach over there.” Although you couldn’t exactly see the beach from where they were, somehow Peter knew where the beach was. 

“Me too! Can we drive there before we go to see grandma and grandpa?” Morgan had taken off her seatbelt and was leaning over her brother's car seat, watching them the whole time. 

Tony had to lift Peter back in since he clearly wouldn’t have gone by himself. “Guess who’s going to sit back here with you.” 

“You.” 

“No. Mommy.” 

“And you.” 

“Then who’s going to drive?” 

“Umm… no I want to sit on your lap and drive.” 

Ruffing his hair, Tony shut the door and got into the driver's seat with Harley as his copilot. “If we can rent out a golf cart, I’ll let you drive like we did in Bali.” 

“Deal.” 

It was a beautiful drive to their house through the jungle. The sun was shining through the trees, beaming down on them. Tony was grateful Pepper told him to put sunscreen on his arms because one side of his arms was sticking out the window. Peter had fallen asleep a few minutes before they were supposed to arrive but ended up taking a wrong turn and was now currently lost. 

“I did turn left at the bend. We just did a complete circle.” 

Mike was trying to explain where to go over the phone but Tony was still lost. Their gps wasn’t picking up on any routes they needed to use, it was all forest around them with a beach close by but no houses. 

Peter was still sleeping which Tony was grateful for so he could focus on getting unlost without so much noise in the back. 

“There’s two lefts. Ones hidden. Our taxi driver took us through the second left, then you’ll drive down a long road before coming to a gate.” Mike explained over the phone but Tony was still completely and utterly lost. 

He did a 3-point turn and went back in the direction they just came from. “I swear I didn’t see any other lefts.” 

“Dad, maybe you need to drive down that road?” Harley suggested. He was a pretty good co pilot and was actually staying on top of the directions this time when Tony needed it. 

“That way looks like a dead end, Harls.” Since there were no other cars on the road, Tony reversed. Might as well try it. 

The road was so bumpy that Peter’s head was tossing side to side so with an amused chuckle, Pepper had to hold it still. 

“It’s like a roller coaster. Weeee!” Putting her arms up, she automatically looked at Peter to see if he was doing the same thing but then she remembered he fell asleep about fifteen minutes ago. So boring, she wanted her best friend to wake up to entertain her. “Wake him up, mom.” 

“Not yet, sweetie. Let’s get to the house first.” 

After about five minutes on the bumpy road, just when Tony was debating on turning back, they reached the gate Mike was talking about. So freaking strange but also it was a very rich area so made sense it was so hidden, for safety and privacy. 

“We’re here. Thanks, Mike. We’ll see you guys soon.” Harley hung up the phone for Tony and waited as his dad spoke to the guard at the front, showing all their passports and proof of residence. Tony had to zip down the back window so he could have a look in, seeing Peter passed right out, Pepper and Morgan. 

“Welcome Mr. Stark and family, enjoy your time in paradise.” 

“Thank you.” It was absolutely stunning, while most of these homes were vacation regrets, some people actually lived here. Tony couldn’t imagine that life, hanging out by the beach everyday with no worries, definitely not for them. But nice to enjoy every once and awhile. “Pep, can you wake the beast up.” 

“Hi baby. It’s time to wake up.” Pepper shook him a bit, waiting patiently for him to stir. He woke with a gasp and rubbed his eyes, squinting at the light. “Good morning, my love. Did you sleep well?” 

“Yeah.” He was a bit disoriented as he looked out the windows and tried to remember where they were. “Daddy.” 

“I’m here, baby. We’re almost at the house to see grandma and grandpa. How’d you sleep?” 

He arched his back to try stretching but couldn’t so he just settled on removing his pacifier to drink some water from his cup. “Where’re we?” 

“We’re in the Maldives, baby boy. Can you help us look for number 56745.” 

Peter put his pacifier back in, reaching out to hold his moms hand. “M’hungry.” 

“I see number 54675!” 

“Thanks, Morg, but not even close.” 

“Petey! We can eat lunch then go swimming together. Aren’t you so excited?” Morgan could not wait. She liked being on the mountain but the constant falling made her butt hurt and it definitely wasn’t her favourite vacation. Although it was obvious Peter liked it, maybe they were opposite in that sense. 

Peter nodded. He wanted to get out of his car seat and feel the sand on his toes. 

Tony kept driving but he didn’t have to wait to spot the house number because Alice and Mike were standing outside, waiting for them. As soon as they say the truck, Alice cheered and raced over to the back door, waiting for Tony to put the car in park then opened up the door she knew Peter would be behind. 

“Oh my gosh. Hello, my sweet sweet boy. How are you?” Alice leaned in to kiss his forehead, completely in love with her youngest grandson. She missed him everyday. 

Peter was feeling a bit shy. He was still waking up from his nap and just wanted his dad right now. 

“Aww, I heard you took a little nap, are you still feeling sleepy?” 

Tony placed a hand on Alice’s shoulder to hug her but to also get her away from Peter so he could hold him for a bit. “Hi Alice. How are you?” 

“Better now my grandbabies are here, and this one, oh, you’re so cute, I can’t wait to squeeze you.” She softly pinched his leg, making Peter giggle. 

“He just woke up so he’s still a bit sleepy. I’ll get him.” Tony kissed his nose then unbuckled him, lifting him into his arms. “Urg, your back is so sweaty.” 

“Yeah, cause I’m hot.” He was also wearing a long sleeve T-shirt and was holding his teddy bear on his lap the entire car journey. “I’m so hungry. My stomach is empty.” 

“We’ll eat soon.” Tony smiled at Mike, pulling him in for a one armed hug. “Hey, Mike.” 

“Tony. How was getting here?” Mike kissed Peter’s cheek, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. “Hi Peter.” 

“Mm.” Peter shyly hid his face in his fathers neck, he was feeling so shy like he always did within the first hour of being with his grandparents. Then he cried when they left. 

“He’s still waking up. And getting here was long but not as bad as I thought it was going to be.” It did go pretty smoothly. 

“Grandma! Will we bake a cake later?! You promised me last time we could bake a chocolate cake for everyone then have a movie night!” Morgan was so excited being back with her whole family. She was basically raised by her grandparents for the first part of her life. She doesn’t remember much, but every photo and family video, they’re there and her dad was not. 

So he’s probably the most attached to them then her brothers were. 

“Dad, when we were driving in I saw a sick hiking trail. Can we hike it later?” 

“Not today but of course we can. That’ll be fun. Let’s get settled in first. You hungry?” He hoisted Peter up higher, looking at his face to try and see what he was thinking. He looked content, observing everyone around him like he usually did whenever they went somewhere new. 

Tony had to remember that Peter lived in a lot of places in his short little life, so it was easier for him to adapt to new surroundings but also made him uneasy at first. 

Then the other part of him, the fourteen year old boy part that didn’t know right from wrong or how to outweigh the consequences of his actions, wanted to run and discover everything new, including the dangerous things. 

Tony would have to Peter proof the house shortly. 

“We’ve already gotten started on some lunch. Cheeseburgers.” Alice squeezed his chubby cheeks as she said that, “Want to help me finish up?” 

“I…” Peter looked around. Aiser was running around them excitedly and Morgan was chatting away to their grandpa and mom about something. The house was really big and nice. He just wanted to eat and go see the ocean. He also didn’t feel like talking right now so he laid his head on his dads shoulder. “Mm.” 

“Let’s go inside and grandma can give us a tour.” Tony went to put Peter on his feet but he whined and clung on even tighter. “You had such a good nap, you still feeling sleepy?” 

“No.” 

“There’s four bedrooms so that means Harley and Morgan don’t need to share a room.” Alice patted her first grandchild on the back, trying to get him to laugh. Usually Peter and Morgan would be the ones sharing a bedroom but Peter co slept still. Plus Harley hated sharing things with his younger siblings. 

“Not that I would anyways.” Harley shot back at his grandma, chucking. His siblings were menaces. 

They walked into the house and Tony was taken back. It was stunning. It was an open concept layout so that meant he could see Peter no matter what room he was in. The doors to the back were open and the oceans moist breeze blew in, and Tony could already picture all the amazing memories they would make here. 

“Woah! There’s even a pool!” Morgan ran through the house with Aiser so Peter got a bit too curious and needed to see what was going on so he wiggled to be put down and ran after them. “Petey! Look, there’s a pool and a diving board and I can see the beach.” 

The best part of travelling with young kids was seeing the excitement through their eyes. 

Tony would miss it once they got older and knew that in ten years time, he would be dying to go back to this exact moment. So he was going to be grateful for every second of it. 

“Don’t go down to the beach without an adult, you two.” He warned them but he knew Morgan knew better. Peter knew better as well but he liked to purposely test his parents and now his grandparents. 

“We know!” Morgan yelled back to him as she grabbed Peter’s hand and led him into the backyard. Yeah, Tony was going to have to Peter proof the house right now because he was a busy boy and the last thing Tony wanted was him hurting himself on this trip. 

“I’ve got them, Tony.” Pepper followed them out, sensing Tony’s reluctancy. 

“So, how was the journey here? How was Peter?” 

Tony watched Pepper walk out and join their kids, bending down to tell Peter something. They were fine. Yeah, he could go get the suitcases, everything was fine. “Um… surprisingly good. Peter had a full blown tantrum at airport security then cried during take off and landing because he had to sit still but other than that he was really good. Yeah.” 

“Oh I’m so glad. I was so worried.” She followed Tony outside to grab some of the suitcases from the car. Pepper had reorganized some things so that all their snow gear was in one suitcase, since what they needed for this trip was basically bathing suits only. 

“He’s been pretty good recently though, you know he’s potty trained again. We’re pretty excited about that.” He knew Peter currently wearing a diaper totally contradicted that. 

And Alice was thinking the same thing. “But he’s wearing a diaper now.” 

“Well… it was a long travel day… and you know how he is with using public bathrooms.” He pulled out two suitcases and a duffle bag. 

“No. I don’t really know. I barely see him.” She admitted sadly but it wasn’t like that was Tony’s fault. He didn’t stop them from seeing Peter, they just lived so far. “They’re growing up and I’m missing it. He’s growing up.” 

Tony paused with the suitcases for a moment and sighed. “You know, it’s not all butterflies and rainbows around here. Peter is… extremely difficult. He's definitely at the most difficult age right now and that’s saying something. You knew how hard the newborn stage was with him.” 

It wasn’t actually that hard looking back. As long as he was being nursed or in Tony’s arms, he didn’t cry. But that meant someone had to hold him 24/7. 

Now he was basically like that but also had some sass to him and could talk back. So yeah, 14 was a hard age but whatever, Tony could manage. 

“I can’t know all of that since I’m rarely around, Tony.” 

“Well, you ca-” 

“Daddy? I want to show you the mango tree! Hurry.” Peter came running out of the house with no shirt on and dirt all over his legs. Tony literally left him for two minutes. 

“Okay. Let me just bring these bags in.” 

“No. Come now!” He grabbed Tony’s callous hand and pulled him back towards the house. “All the mangos will fall down if I don’t show you now.”

“I doubt that but let’s go see them.” If there was one thing Peter taught Tony, it was to live in the moment. Tony truly couldn’t imagine how his life would be without him and he often found himself trying to imagine it, Tony didn’t know why, it was just something he did, as if he was mentally preparing himself for the day Peter got taken from him once again. 

But Peter was a carefree spirit and that helped Tony to let go of some of his worries. Some. Not most. 

He let Peter pull him through the house and out into the beautiful backyard. Maybe they could buy the property and come here whenever they wanted. Although the travel to get here wasn’t totally reasonable. 

The beach was about forty feet from the house with white sand and a pool when you first walked out. Off to the side was an outdoor shower filled with natural growing vines that Tony knew Peter was going to take advantage of and refuse to ever leave it when it came to bath time. 

“It’s this way.” 

There were not one but three mango trees. Hello unlimited mango smoothies. 

Tony scooped Peter up so he could reach one, plucking it off the trees and taking his pacifier out to try and bite the thick skin. “Uh, that’ll need to be cut up.” 

“Lunch is ready.” Mike called them over as he set the BBQ tray on the preset table. “Everyone come dig in.” 

“I don’t want a cheeseburger anymore. I want one hundred mangos!” Peter held his mango protectively in his arms, making sure no one could take it from him. He shoved his pacifier back into his mouth, looking at all the food on the table. There were burgers, chopped fruit, including mango. Even the fruit was cut into stars. “I want my mango cut up into stars.” 

“I’ll cut your mango up so you can eat it for dinner.” 

“Noo, do it now.” 

“No, Peter. We’re sitting down to eat now. I know you’re hungry.” Tony lifted him onto one of the chairs and tucked it right into the table so he couldn’t climb out of it so easily. “Hey, look, grapes. You love grapes.” 

“I want raisins. Not grapes.” 

“Well… then wait ten days.” Tony grabbed a cheeseburger and cut it into four smaller pieces for Peter, only putting one of the pieces on his plate. “Eat this first.” 

“I’m thirsty.” 

“Okay. I’ll get your sippy cup.” With a tired sigh, Tony stood up to go dig in the diaper bag for one and of course Peter wanted to come and stood up in the chair, reaching his arms out for Tony. 

“Take me with you.” Peter leaned into the chair, trusting that his dad would’ve caught him before he fell over. He was seated on his hip, waving bye to everyone as they walked away. “Can you cut my mango?” 

“If I cut it, you still need to eat your food. Otherwise I’ll take your mango from you.” He gave him an ultimatum, hoping Peter chose the right option. 

Peter held onto it protectively but nodded. He was hungry so he would eat. Once he had some water in his cup and his mango was cut, he climbed back onto his chair and cheersed with Morgan. “Do you want a piece of my mango?” 

“Peter, tell us how Banff was. I saw the videos of you snowboarding.” Alice tried to hear the story from Peter, she heard it from Pepper but Peter always had a way of making any story funny. 

“Noo nooo. I want my mango to stay on the table.” Peter practically screamed when Tony tried to take it off the table but he put his hands up in surrender, he wasn’t going to argue with Peter over that. 

“Grandma asked you a question.” 

He was sucking on a piece of mango while looking at his grandma for her to repeat the question. “How was snowboarding?” 

“Good.” That was probably all they would get out of him unless he voluntarily brought it up. He turned to Tony. “I want my burger in small bits.” 

“I already cut it up.” 

“Cut it up more. Please.” 

“Morgan, I heard that you were going pretty fast on the mountain too. How was it?” 

“It was so much fun! Petey was crying the whole time with Gregg and crying and crying, I felt bad because he was like, struggling to stay on his board, but then dad helped him and they went down a black diamond.” 

Peter sat up on his knees. “Yeah. And-and-and we went-when we went-when we went on the black diamond, we even had to slide down rocks on our bums! It was silly.” 

Alice cooed across the table at the boy. “Oh yeah. It sounds like you guys had so much fun. What was your favourite part?” 

“I actually really enjoyed snowboarding down the black diamonds together.” Harley looked at his father when he said that. It was genuinely such an amazing time, and it was a bonus Peter was actually acting his age. 

“Yeah! And I even went down faster!” Peter exclaimed. He took apart his burger to eat the cheese off the top and then eat the bread. Tony and Pepper shared an unimpressed look but otherwise didn’t say anything. 

Peter was going to do what he was going to do. Unfortunately that meant he was filling up on cheese and bread rather than something healthy. 

“Pete, look, Morgan’s eating all of her cheeseburger so she’s going to get to play after and go exploring.” Tony tried to use Morgan as a way for Peter to eat but it really didn’t look like Peter cared. He actually picked up 1 out of his four half burgers and put it on her plate. 

“This one’s for you.” 

“No. I’m full. I don’t want it.” She pushed it off her plate but Peter picked it right back up and put it on. “Noo! Stop it, Peter!” 

“Okay. I’ll take it.” Good god, these kids. When was bedtime again? “Peter, how about you eat some food. What would you like? There’s lots of options here other than bread.” 

“I’m full too.” 

“You ate like two bites. Eat more. Please.” 

Alice could see his ribs, anyone could. He was always a skinny child and being small didn’t help matters but also him being a picky eater wasn’t good. He didn’t have any fat on him to lose. 

“Honey, would you like to come sit on grandma's lap and eat?” She tried. It was obvious to her that her daughter and son in law were exhausted. Mostly from the past two days of travel but their exhaustion came from months of tantrums and crying and fighting etc. and she only knew the half of it. 

Peter didn’t hesitate to climb out of the chair, bringing a handful of slimy mango over with him then let himself get pulled onto her lap where he sat and continued sucking on the mango. 

Tony let him go. Maybe Alice would have better luck. And now Tony could eat his foot in peace. 

“I want to go to the beach with you, grandma.” He slid off her lap, grabbing her hand and using his best puppy dog eyes. 

“No. Sit down, Peter.” 

Not wanting to get in trouble, Peter sat back down but not before giving Tony a dirty look for saying no to him. “Then after.” 

“I think you need to eat. I can count your ribs through your skin, honey.” To prove her point, Alice ran her fingers along his skin, making him squirm and giggle. 

Tony had to look away. He felt like such a failure seeing how skinny Peter was and being reminded of him being underweight. He was picky and barely put on any pounds. They gave him nutriment milk but stopped when they stopped giving him bottles so they might have to start giving him them again. 

Urg. It was always one thing after another. 

“I want to count your ribs.” 

“No ones counting ribs, eat, Pete.” Fucking please. 

Letting out a long sigh, Peter leaned against his grandma. He didn’t want to sit at the table anymore so he slid down and crawled underneath the table until Tony grabbed his arms and pulled him out, lifting him onto his lap. 

“I’m going to spoon feed you like a baby if you don’t eat yourself.” 

“No.” 

“No? Then eat. Because I have the spoon right here.” 

“How has his eating been otherwise?” Alice directed the question at her daughter but everyone was looking at Peter. He definitely was the star of every show. 

“Like this. Exactly like this. He doesn’t sit still for dinners and doesn’t eat.” Tony answered for Pepper. It looked like she already checked out for vacation. 

“I do eat.” Peter argued but he wasn’t really proving any points right now. 

Tony eventually gave up with trying to get him to eat and sprinkled some gold fish on the table for him to munch on. 

“Tony, we need to do the walk around.” Since Alice was sitting with Peter and Morgan, Pepper thought it would be a good time to search the house inside and outside for anything Peter might get into and hurt himself on. 

“Yeah, one sec,” After pouring more goldfish on the table, Tony made sure Alice was watching them. “We’ll be right back, be good Petey pie and Morg. I’m still watching you two.” 

Peter gave a thumbs up then back to crunching his goldfish so he could lick it off the table. 

“So now that my parents are here, I was thinking you and I could have a date night tomorrow. What do you think?” They started in the kitchen where all Tony had to do was put the knives into a higher cabinet Peter couldn’t reach. 

“Tomorrow night already? I was thinking we could settle in a bit more.” 

“Well, we can. But there’s no guarantee we’re going to find the time.” Pepper usually planned their date nights because Tony didn’t like to be away from the kids (Peter) for too long to fully relax and enjoy it. “My parents can handle them. Even if we put Peter down for a nap tomorrow then go. That way he’ll hopefully be asleep for half of it.” 

Tony stopped to smile at Pepper. She wanted some alone time with him and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t. He kissed her, a small peck on the lips and caressed her cheek. “Alright. We’ll go tomorrow after lunch. Let’s finish these rooms.” 

It was also nice to do a quick tour of the house alone. Usually they had to take everything dangerous away from Peter while he was getting into it. 

They walked into the master bedroom that had a beautiful fruit tray sitting on the bed with rose petals scattered around. Someone clearly did this before they were set to arrive because it was all fresh. “Wow. I’m honestly surprised the kids haven’t come up here yet.” 

Besides for putting locks on the balcony doors, a lock on the stove dials and the front door, the house was pretty much safe. There weren't any dangerous drops or sharp things so that look a bit of stress off. 

They were walking back down the stairs when Peter came running up. “I want to go to the beach.” 

“Okay. Let’s get your bathing suit on then. Where’s Morgan and Harley?” 

“Ummm… I dunno.” He took Tony’s hand, spinning around as if looking for them. “Maybe playing in the garden.” 

“Maybe. Let’s get your bathing suit out. Come, hey, don’t walk away. Stay here.” Tony left the suitcases by the front door but he already knew which one to open up and dug inside for his and Peter’s bathing suit while Morgan got hers, Morgan’s and Harley’s. 

Alice called out for Peter, it definitely took her too long to notice he was gone but Tony wasn’t going to say anything. He brought Peter out into the living room, forcing his hand to wave at his grandmother. “I’m right here grandma.” Tony mocked, making his voice higher. 

“Grandma. I’m going swimming in the ocean.” 

“I know. We just need to get our bathing suits on.” 

“Yeah.” 

Tony took the diaper off of him, rolling it up and handing it to Peppers awaiting hand. “Thanks. Step in,” He held his swimming briefs out for him, letting Peter hold onto his shoulder for support. He didn’t have wipes near him but the salty ocean would clean his skin soon anyways. 

“Okay. You’re done. I’m going to put my bathing suit on so can you sit here and wait for me?” 

“I want to come with you.” 

“Okay. I’m just changing in the bathroom so quickly.” Tony squeezed his adorable cheeks. “Also, can I have paci? You don’t need it unless you’re sleeping now.” 

“No. I do need it.” 

“You didn’t need it on the mountain in Banff. You’re a big boy, Peter, you don’t need a soother unless you’re sleeping.” Tony held it out for him to hand it over. Him and Pepper agreed to try and give up the pacifiers on the trip but had zero expectations. 

“I want to keep it.” Peter was breathing heavily. He needed his pacifier to make him feel safe and comfortable and now he might get it taken away from him in a strange place. He couldn’t even run to his bedroom or hide underneath his dining room table. 

Tony decided to try again later. “Okay, bubs. Just wait here so I can change.” 

Peter in fact did not wait, he got up and walked outside. Morgan and Harley had already gotten their bathing suits on and were at the beach with their grandpa. His mom was somewhere, he wasn’t sure, and same with his grandma. 

Only Aiser was with him. 

So Peter walked over to the pool and leaned down, trying to feel the water. Aiser nudged him to the side, making him fall onto his butt. “Ouch. Hey. Bad dog.” It looked like Aiser wanted to yell at him or something but Peter didn’t stay. He crawled onto the grass, stopping to look back to see if Aiser was following him. “Noo. Don’t follow me. Stay there.” 

On the side of the house, off to the side, was some sort of fountain in the ground. Water was coming out of a stone bird's mouth and it looked absolutely delicious to drink. 

Standing up, Peter ran over to it and climbed onto the side of the stone, balancing on it so he didn’t fall in. “Woah. Got it.” He beamed with pride once he caught himself. “Aiser, look at me.” He ended up slipping and even he gasped, his pacifier fell out of his mouth and into the water below. “Oh no.” 

Jumping down, Peter leaned into the fountain to reach it but hit his head on the side of the stone. “Owww. Daddy.” He cried, not loud enough for anyone but him and Aiser to hear. 

Once Tony was done changing, he walked back out but Peter wasn’t waiting for him on the couch or in front of the bathroom door like Tony thought he would. “Pete?”  Nothing. “Pepper, where’s Peter?” 

“I don’t know, he was with you last.” 

“Well… he’s not anymore.” Aiser walked into the house and Tony knew Aiser knew where his kid was. If Peter was down by the beach, Aiser would’ve been there with him. “Where’s Peter, Aiser? Go find Peter.” 

Aiser barked at Tony as he ran out of the house and down the side of the house where Tony found Peter standing on the side of a very unstable looking fountain. Tony was relieved to see him but then another feeling of overprotective frustration washed over him. This fountain was clearly not meant for standing on yet here Peter was, standing on the side of it anyways. 

Walking up behind him, Tony lifted him off. “What are you doing? This isn’t stable enough to hold you.” 

“Well it clearly is because I’m standing on it. I was. Until you pulled me off.” He crossed his arms over his chest once he was placed on his feet. 

“Because you can get hurt. I don’t want you standing on this.” He took Peter’s hand to pull him away from the fountain but Peter tugged back. “What?” 

“Paci fell in.” 

“Then pacis gone.” 

“Noooo. Don’t say that.” Peter forced himself to the grass, kicking his legs out at his dad. He really didn’t appreciate him saying that about his pacifier. It was rude. “Get it.” 

Sighing, Tony reached into the fountain and pulled out the soother, wiping it on his bathing suit. “Kid. You’re too much. Let’s go.” 

“Well, are you going to give it back to me?” 

Tony had to pause and turn around to look at him. Woah. “Not with that attitude. You shouldn’t even be having this. You don’t need it.” 

“Urggg! But I do!” 

“You don’t. You already proved to yourself that you don’t. I don’t know why you cry for it all the time.” Tony would love to know. It was a comfort thing, that was obvious. But why? He could be in the best mood and asked for it, it was impossible for Tony to read Peter sometimes. 

“Please give it back.” Peter whined as he crawled over to Tony’s feet, looking up at him with his best puppy dog eyes. He didn’t even try, he was simply just looking at Tony. 

Tony already knew he was going to give in. He leaned down and picked Peter up, kissing his forehead then started making his way to the beach with Aiser. “You’re too much for me. What am I gonna do with you.” 

“Just… hug me.” He happily accepted the pacifier in his mouth, wrapping an arm around Tony’s shoulder as they made their way to the beach. 

Then Tony realized something. 

Telling Peter he couldn’t have the pacifier on the mountains apparently worked. So well that he didn’t use the pacifier for the rest of the day and only used it at nighttime. So he was going to try something. 

The sounds of the waves crashing into the sand was even louder now that they were standing right in front of it. Off in the distance was Morgan, Harley and Mike. Alice and Pepper apparently weren’t there yet. 

Setting Peter on his feet, Tony kneeled down in front of him. “Hey. I need to tell you something important.” He waited for brown eyes to meet his. “If you want to go in the ocean, you need to give me paci.” 

“I don’t wanna go in ocean then.” 

“Okay.” That failed. “Just letting you know, no ocean if you have a pacifier in your mouth.” 

Not going to fight him on it, Tony stood up, brushing the sand off his knees. He started walking over to everyone else, turning back to see Peter just standing there, contemplating something. “You coming?” 

“Yeah.” He ran after Tony, grabbing his hand tightly. Tony could tell he wanted to go in the ocean but he was going to fight it and try to keep the pacifier with him for as long as possible. 

“Petey, look how big the waves are! Grandpa said we can take the surfboard out together!” There was a surfboard in the pool storage shed but Peter wouldn’t be going in the water until he handed over that soother. 

Tony wouldn’t give in. 

Well, he would try not to. 

Plus it was a choking hazard in the water when he was roughhousing it. 

Which he would do. 

Peter let go of Tony’s hand to sit in the sand next to Morgan, grabbing handfuls of it. “I can’t.” 

“Why not?” 

“Cause… my paci… I just… I want to keep it.” 

“Oh. Well you can still keep it and come in the water with me. It’s sooo warm. It’s like… our bath back home. Oh! Daddy! Can me and Petey take a bath in the outdoor bathtub later? Harley showed me.” Morgan was talking a mile a minute, she was so excited. Tony just wished he could hear his sons excited voice but he was too busy with his pacifier. 

Tony sighed but sat next to Peter anyways, squeezing his thigh. 

“If you guys want to then you can.” 

“Okay. Yay! Let’s go let’s go let’s go! I want to go in the ocean with you.” She begged Peter but it wasn’t like he could go that easily. 

“Morgan, Peter can’t join you unless he wants to get rid of his pacifier. That’s his decision.” 

“Urg.” Peter fell onto his back with a groan. “Go swimming by yourself, Morgan. I’m not coming with you. I want to stay here.” 

“Noo. You have to come with me. Mooooommmmm!” Running across the sand, she ran over to Pepper and Alice, “Peter just said he won’t come swimming in the ocean with me and that’s not nice of him!” 

“Honey, if he doesn’t want to go swimming, he doesn’t have to.” 

“Yeah. I don’t have to.” Peter agreed with his mom. He took his pacifier out briefly to lick the sand when no one was looking then quickly put it back in his mouth. It was pretty good, he liked the crunch. 

Tony missed him doing that, although it would happen again, knowing Peter. “Morg, you go and your brother will join you when he’s ready.” 

“I don’t want that brother,” She pointed at Harley who rolled his eyes. “I want that brother.” Now she was pointing at Peter. 

“Oh! He’s eating sand. Tony.” Alice exaggeratedly pointed at Peter. Yeah, him eating sand wasn’t the worst thing he’s eaten. 

“Peter. Don’t eat the sand.” Tony and Pepper both weren’t even phased. “And Morgan, you can have this brother once he decides to go in the ocean. But until then, you need to be patient.” 

“Urg.” She kicked the sand in the opposite direction. “I hate being patient.” 

Didn’t they all. 

Especially the curly headed boy sitting next to Tony with sand on his chin. 

After Morgan finally went into the ocean without Peter and with Harley and Mike, Pepper looked at the two males. “Why don’t you want to go swimming, honey?” 

“Cause I can’t.” 

“I told him he can’t swim unless he gets rid of his paci, right, Petey pie?” 

“Yes. I already know that.” He didn’t need the reminder and he wanted to be on his own for a bit so he crawled a few feet away from his parents and grandma. He could eat some sand in peace. 

“Now that he’s not here, I wanted to know how we should be with him. I don’t want to have another bottle incident again.” Alice was referring to the time they got Peter off the bottles only for Alice to give them back to him again. 

Tony wanted to keep his eye on Peter so he told Alice to sit on his right, that way he could look at her while still watching Peter who was currently giving him the dirtiest look. This boy. 

“I was going to talk to you about this so thanks for reminding me, um, so we dropped the bottles. We brought no bottles so don’t even worry about accidentally giving him one, and the pacifiers…” Tony looked at Pepper on his left. That was a whole other story. 

“He still has a pacifier on demand. We’re trying.” 

“You know, to wean him off, you can snip the tips off, that way they can’t get a good suction and they lose interest.” 

“We considered that. But decided not to. I want it to be his choice.” Tony really didn’t want to put anymore stress onto him. They just didn’t need that as a family. 

Peter’s whole life was stress and trauma and if Tony could do anything to take some of that burden, he would. But it wasn’t that simple. So if giving him a pacifier could help take some of his pain, he would do that. What Tony didn’t know was that it was actually affecting Peter a lot more than he could imagine. 

“Well… he’s quite addicted, I’d say. Since he’s been here, I haven’t seen it leave his mouth.” Alice was brutally honest. “Expect to take two bites of lunch.” 

Wow. That hurt a bit. “I can’t get him to hand it over. He won’t. You want to try to go one on one with him? Be my guest.”

“Tony. You’re his father.” 

“Yes. We all know that. And?” 

Pepper grabbed Tony’s arm and squeezed it. She didn’t want a fight but Tony was easy to get riled  up when it came to Peter and what’s best for him. And usually her mom was all for babying Peter because she wanted to keep him young like Tony but she clearly had a problem with the pacifiers. 

“Tony. I’m saying, you need to call the shots. You know what’s best for him, he doesn’t. He’s eating sand for goodness sake. And that boy is not potty trained. There. I said it. He’s not. Okay.” 

“Mom.” 

“No, Virginia. I understand wearing diapers at night. I get that. But on car rides and plane rides. If he’s wearing one, he’s not potty trained and by putting him in one you’re encouraging the behaviour.” 

Tony felt so attacked. “Oh I’m sorry, were you even around for everything he’s been through? Because it doesn’t sound like it. He was…” Tony stopped talking when he caught himself yelling. “He was kidnapped for fucks sake. It’s a trauma response.” He shook his head, squeezing the sand between his palms. “I would like to see any of you go through what he went through then except to come out fine.” 

“I’m not saying he should be fine. We all know he’ll never be fine. But you’re encouraging this behaviour and it isn’t healthy, Tony. Please see that.” 

Tony was stuck on Alice saying Peter would never be fine. Did she really mean that? And how the hell was this his fault by the way? He was supporting Peter. He was so patient with him through everything. 

“Mom, this isn’t all on Tony. We-” 

“I know it’s not. It’s on both of you. Take that pacifier away from that poor boy, his speech is so much worse than when I saw him last. FaceTime just doesn’t do justice.” 

Tony barely noticed his speech anymore. He also didn’t really know what to say. 

“Then you try taking it from him. Go on. Just try.” 

“He’s fifty pounds soaking wet, are you scared of him?” Alice directed that question at Tony. He’d be lying if he said no. 

He looked down the beach at the boy. His boy who caused him so much fucking pain for leaving. Tony’s heart could never be repaired but getting to be Peter’s dad everyday was slowly trying to heal it back together. “I’m scared he’ll hate me.” He admitted, very quietly. 

“Oh Tony.” Immediately, Alice was at his side again and rubbing his back. “Peter will never ever hate you. I promise you that. He idolizes the ground you walk on. You do know that, right?” 

Tony did… to some extent. “I worry he’ll prefer Steve over me. Steve gave him everything he wanted. He didn’t say no to that boy and that’s why when you tell him no, he looks at you like you just told him you’re leaving him. Then screams for twenty minutes straight.” 

“Mom. We’re doing the best we can. Tony’s right, we can’t just take it from him. There needs to be a certain level of trust.” Pepper had his back now despite telling him almost exactly what her mom was telling Tony now. 

It was a frustrating topic for everyone. 

“He’s fourteen. How hard can it be?” 

“Uh, famous last words. Be my guest, Alice. Watch your fingers. I mean it. He bites.” Tony would actually love to see her try it. 

“Alright. I will.” Standing up, Alice brushed the sand off her legs and walked over to Peter, kneeling down in front of him. “Hi my sweet boy. What are you doing?” 

“San’ing ‘da my beach.” 

“I can’t understand you.” 

“Mm.” Peter didn’t care. He continued to pile sand onto his legs. 

“So, I think you’re too old for a pacifier now. How about I take it and-” 

Peter immediately started crawling over to his dad, climbing onto his lap and hiding his face in his chest. He wished he was wearing a shirt he could hide in. 

“Give up yet?” Tony asked Alice once she joined them again. It was actually sad to watch. But amusing. 

“Peter, if you give me your pacifier, I’ll give you a special present.” 

“I don’ ke no ‘neset.” 

“I still can’t understand you.” 

“He said ‘I don’t need no present’.” Tony had always been pretty good at understanding the pacifier language, even when Peter was a toddler. 

“Well… then I’m just going to have to take it.” Without any more warning, Alice snatched it from Peter’s mouth which was the absolute worst thing she could have done. Peter went to reach for it but Alice was already standing up with it tucked away in her hands so Peter threw his head back, smacking Pepper in the eye. 

“Oof. Ow.” 

“Oh my god. Are you okay, Pep?” Tony had to stand up to have better control over Peter while also trying to make sure Pepper was okay. Her eye was already forming a bruise. “Okay. You should ice that right away. Peter. Just relax for a second. Hey hey. Look at me.” 

“Paci Paci.” He was crying so hard he gagged once. Then again, and on the second time, bile came up so he gagged harder. 

“Oh my gosh. Peter. Honey. Just breathe.” Even Alice was concerned. She got close enough to him to try and console him but Peter grabbed her arm and would’ve taken a bite if Tony didn’t cover his mouth. 

“Pete. Hey, let’s breathe together. Okay. In… out. In… out.” 

“Nooooaaaaa! Soother!” He was hyperventilating now, it was so bad his lips were actually starting to turn a bit blue. He was so confused and in so much pain. His dad said he had a choice to get rid of the pacifier to go swimming in the ocean and he was working up the courage to put it away for the day but then not only was his pacifier ripped from him, but so was his choice. 

He was feeling so betrayed and so upset. Steve never gave him a choice and now neither was anyone else. 

He gagged again, spitting up a bit of vomit from how hard he was crying so he shoved his sandy fingers in his mouth, trying to use anything to calm down at this point. 

Peter felt like he needed to tell his dad what he was feeling because this did not feel good one bit. It hurt. To have his choice ripped from him like that. 

He was gaining the courage to get rid of his pacifier for the day! That was supposed to be his choice! 

Tony stood up fully and held his hand out for the pacifier that Alice took from him. Once he had it, he pushed it past Peter’s lips and walked back towards the house with him. What a fucking mess. 

Peter had vomit smeared all over his face and body and now Tony had it on his stomach. Gross. But he was mainly concerned about Peter having a full blown panic attack it seemed like. 

He walked into the house, going straight into the private outdoor bathroom and turning the shower on, standing underneath it so just their bodies were getting wet. “You’re okay. Just breathe. Follow my chest. In… out. In… out. In… out. Just copy me. In… out. There you go. Just keep breathing, okay?” 

Tony used his hand to try and wipe around his pacifier to get the vomit, spit and sand off but it was hard. “Do you trust me? I want to clean your face so I’ll take paci out for five seconds. Is that okay?” 

Reluctantly, Peter nodded. He let Tony take it out and wiped his face clean and as promised, his pacifier was back in his mouth five seconds later. 

That was exhausting. 

Peter laid his head on Tony’s shoulder, going completely lax against him. He didn’t know how to voice his emotions out loud. 

“M’sad.” 

Tony almost gasped. Was Peter actually opening up? “You’re feeling sad? Can you tell me why?” 

“Mm…” Peter shrugged. 

“Was it because grandma took your soother?” Fucking obviously but Tony had to get somewhere. Peter nodded. Okay. Okay, this was good. Now what? How does he keep him talking? “Why did that make you sad?” 

“Um… cause… you said… grandma said…” He sucked harder on his paci. “Um,” Lifting his head up, he looked into his fathers eyes, silently begging the man for help. He was hurting so much right now. 

“Tell me, baby. Take your time. Remember, our words are very important to communicate. You tell me what you’re feeling and I help you. But if you don’t tell me, I can’t know so I can’t help you.” Tony walked over to a stone bench and sat down, holding Peter on his lap. “Just think about it first.” 

Peter thought about it. He didn’t like how his choice was taken away from him. It made him feel betrayed and even a bit anxious. But he didn’t know how to communicate that. So, he stared at his father. 

“So grandma taking your pacifier made you feel sad?” Tony prompted again. 

“Yeah.” 

“Why did it make you feel sad?” 

“Um…” He sucked harder then figured he was in a safe place. He trusted his dad enough not to take paci from him. So, Peter took it out of his mouth, holding it in his hands as he spoke. “Cause… you says I could keep paci until I decided to- to take it away to go in-in-in the ocean.” 

Tony couldn’t believe his eyes. Was this actually happening? Was Peter actually communicating with him about his feelings for the first time in… for the first time! Probably ever! And he even took his pacifier out to talk. Tony’s heart was beaming with so much pride his chest was about to fucking burst. 

He encouraged Peter to keep going. “I did say that. That was supposed to be your choice, right?” 

“Yeah. My choice.” He put his pacifier back in, giving it a few more sucks then took it out. “Cause… him… he-he-he-he-he didn’t-he didn’t- urg!” 

“It’s okay, Peter. There’s no rush. Take your time.” Tony caressed his cheeks. He didn’t dare to dream but… “Are you talking about Steve?” 

Tensing, Peter put the pacifier back in his mouth and nodded, not taking it out this time to speak. “He says I get no choices.” 

“He said. That’s past tense.” Peter stared at him. “Steve is dead. He’s not in your life, not in our life, so it’s past tense. Steve is gone, Peter.” 

Peter nodded like he didn’t believe Tony. 

“But he didn’t give you any choices?” 

Peter took his pacifier back out. “No. Cause… then-then when grandma takes paci… it made me sad. And… really… not good. Really… feeling… like, turned on. Really sad in my chest.” 

“It made you feel betrayed?” 

“Yeah. Betrayed.” He actually felt better getting those words out and talking about his emotions. Wow. Maybe biting people didn’t help with anything because this whole talking thing felt really good. 

“Well, baby, I understand why you’re upset. I would be too. I know how important paci is to you and I could tell you were trying really hard to take it out so you could go swimming. So when grandma took it, that must’ve been really overwhelming and scary to have your choice taken like that.” Tony spoke slowly so Peter understood every word. He tucked his hair behind his ears. “It’s important to express your emotions in words. See how much better it is now that I understand you?” 

Peter nodded. “Yeah. It feel good because no biting.” 

“Yeah, we don’t bite people.” 

“No.” 

Tony was so fucking proud of him he wanted to shout it from the fucking moon. 

“When we have these emotions, we need to tell the people who’ve upset us so they know.” 

“No.” 

“It’s a good thing. See, when mommy folds my dress pants, I say mommy, I didn’t like that because it gets wrinkly. And mommy says, okay daddy, thank you for telling me, now I understand and know not to fold your dress pants.” Tony used an awful example but it was easy for Peter to understand this way. And if Pepper heard, she would’ve been dying laughing at her calling Tony daddy. 

“Oh. Cause then it’s good to talk your emotions?” 

“Exactly, baby. So smart.” Tony kissed his cheek. “So how about we go tell grandma together.” 

“Uh huh. Okay.” 

Tony stood up with him still in his arms, feeling like he was on top of the world. He walked out of the bathroom and past the kitchen but Peter stopped him. 

“Wait!” He took the pacifier out of his mouth and put it down on the kitchen counter ever so carefully. “I leave paci here until bedtime, okay?” He looked for Tony’s reaction. 

“Yes. Of course, my perfect angel. That’s such a big accomplishment. Good job.” Not wanting to make it anymore of a big deal, Tony walked away even though he was screaming for joy on the inside. 

“Wait! One more.” 

Tony was patient. He walked back so Peter could get in a few more comfort sucks then placed it back down. 

It was a huge step in the right direction for once.