Always In My Mind

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Peter's life has always been a messed up joke. 

When he was younger; around 5, his parents were killed in a plane crash. Everything was fine, he was living with his Aunt and Uncle who were the loveliest people you could meet. Up until he was 16, when he was bitten by a radioactive spider, accidentally killing his Uncle Ben. He was angry at the universe. Why did HE have to have this weight on him? It wasn't fair. So, in turn he takes it out on his family.

Peter breaks their door in rage, before taking off down the street. Ben tries looking for him all night. But when he finds him, it all goes down hill. Uncle Ben tries to stop a thief Peter lets go and gets shot in the stomach. He dies in Peter's arms, his blood on Peter's hands. Peter vows to never let his rage get out after that.

For a while, everything was good. Peter should've known that it was all going to crumble down around him. Tony Stark finds out about his identity; threatening to tell Aunt May if he doesn't come to Germany to fight against 'Team Cap'. In Germany he nearly gets crushed by a 30 tonne aerobridge by Captain America. Peter works for Tony Stark for a long time after that. 

Finally, Peter got a break. 

Which only lasted a short amount of time.

Peter goes to space, fighting alongside Tony. At first, he was excited. He was finally in the big leagues! Once again, he quickly regrets his decision. Thanos was hard to beat. Peter fought with all his might, using everything in him to help. It wasn't enough. Thanos won.

All Peter remembers is a fire inside him. It was small at first, just a bit of pain in his chest. Before everything ached. 

A big 'snap' could be heard, echoing across the place. Suddenly, people start to fall around Peter and Tony. People disintergrate into nothing, leaving the fighters around them standing in shock, eyes wide and disbelieving.

Before Peter can do anything a small fire ignites in his chest. His breathing becomes more laboured the longer he stands. To help, Peter quickly wrenches his mask off his face. The fire starts to slowly spread throughout his body. His hands start to shake as his body becomes drenched in pain he's never felt. A silent scream leaves his lips as he tries to make his way to Tony.

Gasping, Peter stumbles to Tony. The pain inside him close to unbearable. Tony catches him as he loses the strength to stay up.  

"M-Mr Stark, I don't feel so good," Peter gasps quietly, feeling his body slowly start to dissipate into nothing. They both quickly fall to the ground, Tony holding Peter's head in his hands. "I'm sorry- I'm sorry Mr Stark." He apologises. He doesn't want Tony to feel guilty, it wasn't his fault. He remembers Tony telling him not to die because he would feel responsible, guess that's out the window. "Kid? Kid!" Tony quickly panics as Peters body slips from his hands, dust left in its place, slipping into the sky.

Peter remembers feeling empty, then the next thing he knows he wakes up on a bare planet, Doctor Strange urging him and the other fallen soldiers into a orange portal, where they get taken to another battle field. He remembers fighting alongside Wanda and this cool 'Marvel' girl who has 'the best powers ever!'

Wow, your powers are so cool! Peter tells her excitedly. The Marvel girl smirks back in response before darting over to a big ship. Peter loses track of everything that happens. Soon, Peter realises they're winning. He quickly looks around, where's Tony? "Mr Stark?" He calls out, dodging a large head flying past him. Suddenly, Tony lands in front of him. Eyes lighting up, Peter starts explaining what happened to him. "Mr Stark, you won't believe what happened. I remember slipping to dust. Then, next thing I know, I see Doctor Strange and you know that large orange sparkly portal thing he does?" Peter waves his hands in a circular motion to explain the portal. " Well he does that and says 'Hurry! It's been 5 years they need you and-" He gets cut off by Tony wrapping him a hug. "I- What are you doing? Oh, this is nice." He quickly melts into the hug, happy Tony feels just as excited to see him. 

Next thing Peter knows is Tony sacrificing himself. Peter sees Tony snap his fingers and then, he falls. Peter races to Tony. "Mr Stark! I'm so sorry," Peter sobs, he feels Tony move his hand to rest on his shoulder before quickly dropping it. Pepper quickly moves towards Tony, Peter moving out of her way. She smiles shakily to Tony, before kissing him on the forehead. Tony slowly exhales, head slowly falling to the side, his eyes become glassy and vacant. Peter falls, wailing into Peppers chest. He mumbles apologies incoherently as she shushes him while her hands carded gently through his hair.

Then, he has to pretend none of that ever happened. He goes back to college doing everything over again, because apparently it's been 5 years. He was confused, and angry for a long time. But, Aunt May helped him rebuild everything. 

Until Aunt May died later, because Peter didn't want some people to forget he was goddamn Spider Man. Then everyone that Peter loved forgot who he was. 

So now, Peter sits in his new apartment. 

Alone.