Chapter 5
Abby was reading on the couch when Clarke let herself into her childhood home. The house smelled of lemons. The house cleaners must have come by that morning. There was a bouquet of red roses on the coffee table.
“Hey, Mom,” she said.
“Hey, baby,” Abby said. “You’re off today?”
“I’m working the night shift. How is he today? Is he talking?”
Abby glanced toward the hallway where their guest room was located. Jake’s hospital bed had been set up downstairs where the nurses could access the room more easily. Her mother had never liked people upstairs even when she was a child. Her old playroom next to the guest room had turned into her dad’s office when she grew too old for toys.
“He’s on and off,” she said. “Let me see if he wants to come out here to sit.”
“No,” she said. “I’ll go in there. He shouldn’t get out of bed if he isn’t feeling good.”
Clarke stood outside the room for a moment too long. Her eyes felt heavy, and her chest ached. While at work or home, she could pretend her father was in the garden where he could always be found during the springtime or writing in his office. It was hard to imagine him never sitting at his huge oak desk again. She was not ready to lose a parent.
“Dad?” she asked as she knocked.
“Clarke,” he said, voice thick.
“Damn, she really has you roasting back here. It’s like eighty degrees.”
He chuckled which turned into a cough. She sat in the recliner and leaned back until her feet were up.
“I like it warm,” he said. “Gets too cold even with the five blankets your mom wraps me in.”
Clarke smiled. “She loves a good blanket,” she said. “I need her to come by sometime and swaddle me up, too. This winter was awful.”
“Flowers are starting to bloom,” he said. “I was out in the garden today for a bit. You’ll have to see it before you leave. Your mom did most of the work this year. I was the supervisor.”
“That’s a definite change from the usual pattern around here. She’s been bossing you around my entire life.”
“Yeah, well… she’s doing a good job so far.”
“Thank you, my love!” Abby called from the living room.
Clarke rolled her eyes, but she and her dad were smiling at each other. Tears fell down her cheeks as she looked at him in the bed. She was unable to understand how their lives had turned out this way.
“Come here, Clarke,” Jake said, lifting one side of the blanket.
He scooted toward the wall as she lay down in the bed. She rested her head on his bony chest and closed her eyes, inhaling his scent. She could remember him wrapping her in his arms when she was a teenager, upset about some meaningless drama, and letting her cry in his shirt. She had always found comfort in her dad’s hugs, his smell, his voice.
Neither had to speak to express their feelings. Clarke closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel the moment. She wanted to remember this when she could no longer wrap her arms around him. She wanted to stay in this moment forever.
They fell asleep.
Lexa checked the board when she arrived for her shift. Lincoln, Murphy, and Octavia were listed. She had not worked with them as much as the others. She was not sure who she would rather go to with questions if she needed help. Lincoln was her first choice because Raven spoke about him so often. She would have to get to know everyone eventually. She could not rely on Raven and Clarke to be on every shift.
“Where’s Clarke?” Harper asked.
Lexa shrugged. “Is she supposed to be here?” she asked.
“Yes. Let me call her and see what’s going on. Without her, I’ll have to get another chief attending down here to cover.”
Lincoln and Octavia emerged from the break room. Octavia was eating a banana and tossed the peel into the trash behind the nurse’s station. She sat in one of the rolling chairs.
“I’ll be the chief, I guess,” Octavia said. “It isn’t like her though, is it? I hope she’s okay.”
“She’s fine,” Lincoln said.
He pulled his phone from his pocket and attempted to call her. The phone went to voicemail from the look on his face. People were starting to worry. The feeling made Lexa nervous. According to Raven, she never missed work.
A kid was brought in with breathing problems which Lexa happily volunteered to take. She checked his lungs. They sounded wet which was worrisome. She gave him a breathing treatment and meds that should clear the fluid from his lungs in the next hour. She exited his room and found Clarke standing at the counter in scrubs.
She let out a breath she had not realized she had been holding.
“Sorry I’m late,” Clarke said when their eyes met. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, it’s fine,” she said. “Are you okay?”
Clarke made an expression Lexa could not read. “I’m fine,” she said.
There was more Clarke was not sharing but Lexa did not pry. She grabbed her patient’s chart to fill in the medicine and dosage. She did not have every answer she needed about the boy’s condition, but she hoped to have more when the medicine took effect.
The night went by slowly. She was sitting behind the nurse’s station when an ambulance arrived. She was glad for the distraction. Clarke met the paramedics at the door and listened to the symptoms. Someone called anonymously about a woman unconscious at the park. Her clothing barely covered her body and Lexa could see needle marks on her arms and legs. She stood and followed the gurney into a trauma room. Two nurses followed.
“Did you find the needle near her body?’ Lexa asked.
Clarke glanced up before nodding in understanding. Lexa had seen too many cases like this during her time at Chicago Med and the rehab facility.
“Overdose?’ Clarke asked.
“Possibly,” she said. “Did you give her Narcan at the scene?”
“No,” the paramedic replied.
“Why not? She’s clearly using.”
Clarke left the room to grab the Narcan and handed it to Lexa to administer. The paramedics stepped from the room as the nurses prepared for the woman’s reaction to the medicine. A few moments later, the woman took a gasping breath and vomited on her chest. Lexa, wanting to chase the paramedics down and yell at them for not using context clues, checked the monitor and began her assessment.
Clarke was filling out a chart when Lexa stopped in front of the counter. She had practiced the conversation in her head multiple times in the past hour. The woman from before had affected Lexa more than she had seen since Lexa started at Griffin Memorial.
“I’m glad you were there earlier,” Clarke said. “You saw the signs before I did.”
Lexa shrugged. “I knew what to look for, I guess,” she said. “I’ve seen too many people like her die.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what working at the rehab was like. It’s… hard.”
“It was. The worst was the long-term patients who got clean for a few months and then tried using the same amount they were on before. We got to most too late.”
“You seem passionate about it. Why did you leave?”
Lexa looked toward the door as if wanting to escape the conversation. Clarke felt bad for putting the woman on the spot, but she had too many questions. There was so much she wanted to know about Lexa. She had never spoken of anything personal to Clarke until now.
“It just… it got overwhelming,” she said. “I let my guard down and befriended one of the patients. He was doing well. He was about to be released when someone had a friend sneak something in. I mean, he wouldn’t have done well on the outside if it only took one person to mess everything up, but… I just thought he would make it. You know?”
“Yes,” she said. “I get it.”
“Sorry. You didn’t ask for a sob story.”
“Technically, I did ask for it.”
They grinned at each other until Octavia gained their attention a few seconds later. “I need some help in here,” she said. “Better get a guard, too.”
When they entered the room, the woman had removed her IV. She was pulling at wires until everything was thrown on the floor. She was attempting to push up from the bed but her weakened body was slow and awkward. Lexa placed her hands on the woman’s arms to keep her still.
“You’re safe here,” she said. “We didn’t call the police. Nothing is going to happen to you. All we’re asking is for you to let us get fluids in your body and then check your condition in the morning. If everything is fine, you can leave.”
“I have to leave now,” she said. “You don’t understand.”
“Then help me understand.”
“I just can’t be here. I’m fine.”
Lexa released her hold and let the woman decide her next move. If she wanted to leave, no one could stop her. She froze when she realized Lexa had let her go.
“I can’t go back to jail,” she said.
“You won’t,” Lexa said. “No one here is going to call the police.”
The words seemed to help. Withdrawal symptoms would begin to affect her thinking depending on what she was on and how much, but she laid back down. She was in no position to listen to Lexa’s advice about rehab and the doctor doubted she would agree but remained determined to try when her condition improved. She asked the guard to remain at her door until further notice. If the woman decided to leave, Lexa would rather know than be blindsided.
When Raven arrived in the morning, Lexa was staring at her phone screen at the nurse’s station. Two nurses were leaning against the counter on the other side of the bay, whispering, and watching the new doctor. Apparently, she was gaining everyone’s attention except Clarke’s. It had been years since Clarke expressed interest in anyone. Raven knew she would never date someone she worked with every day.
“O,” she said loudly. When the woman did not appear, Raven approached Lexa. “Have you seen her?”
“Who?” she asked without looking up from her phone.
“O. Sorry. Octavia.”
“Right. It’s probably been an hour.”
Octavia, after several minutes of searching, was reviewing an X-ray scan on the imaging board. She looked up when the door opened. Her arms were folded over her chest. The image was of a lower torso where something was lodged in the person’s bowel. It would cause serious damage if not removed.
“I need your help with something,” Raven said.
“Yeah?” she asked, chuckling. Octavia motioned toward the image. “We can trade problems.”
“Fine,” she said. “I take the surgery, but I need you to find out if Lexa is single.”
Octavia raised an eyebrow. “And how do I casually work that into a conversation?” she asked. “I’ve spoken to her, like, twice about nonwork stuff.”
“Costia is probably a good start.”
“She mentioned Lexa the other day after a consult. I'm pretty sure the rumors are true. Why do you want to know?”
“Just do it.”
The two women stared at each other. Octavia's eyebrows drew together as she debated the other woman’s reasoning other than nosiness. Raven did not care about who slept with who and had never dated anyone seriously.
“Clarke won’t go for it,” she said when it clicked.
“Probably not,” she said. “But she’ll be single forever if we don’t intervene.”
“What’s wrong with that? She's a strong, independent woman. You date Lexa if you want to so badly.”
“You know I like mean women. C'mon, O.”
“I’ll see what I can do, you fucking menace.”
Raven smiled and removed the scan from the clips. She carried the envelope through the emergency wing in search of the patient’s chart. Once found, she entered the patient’s room with a knock. She had been expecting a young person, someone who knew better than to swallow something damaging, but the woman was in her late forties according to her chart.
They had a short conversation about what the surgery would entail. The woman had a few questions about what happened after which would be pain medicine while she healed and possible long-term side effects. Removal would be straightforward. Raven had performed the surgery many times.
When she exited the room, Clarke was waiting at the nurse’s station.
“Aren’t you tired?” Raven asked.
“Yes,” she said. “But the shift wasn’t too bad. How's your knee?”
“You just can’t help yourself, huh? My knee is fine, Clarke. I can’t even feel it with the brace on.”
“I wish you’d let me try the surgery. It could be life-changing for you if it worked.”
“I’m sick of surgeries. The last one made it worse.”
Lexa approached in normal clothes. She had a backpack over one shoulder and her hair was pulled up. Clarke had not bothered to change from her scrubs. Raven wondered how many hospital-issued scrubs she had at her house.
“Are we meeting up later?” Lexa asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “As long as nothing crazy happens and I have to stay. I'll meet you at the gym.”
“Not this again,” Clarke said, rolling her eyes. “Try not to come in tomorrow with a black eye.”
“She's talking to you, Raven,” Lexa said with a smirk.
“I’m talking to both of you,” she corrected. “But mostly to Raven.”
“Hey!” Raven protested. “I’ll beat her one day.”
Lexa laughed as she started for the door. “Good luck,” she said over one shoulder.