Adventure Guys

Wapol: Mahahahahaha! I have returned finally! Now at long last, we shall rewrite Drum Kingdom! Mahahahahaha!
Chess: But, Wapol, sir! Look! On top of the castle!
*He looks up at the top of the castle and sees Hiriluk’s flag waving in the wind.*
Wapol: Why is that strange flag flying?! It’s an outrage! Where’s the flag of the Drum Kingdom?!
*Kureha and Chopper exit the castle.*
Kureha: Heeheeheehee! That old thing? I burned it.
Wapol: Well, Kureha, the last survivor of our doctor hunt! Get out of my castle!
Kureha: This castle is no longer yours, Wapol! It saw enough corruption and misery during your reign! Leave! Not just here, the country too! Drum Kingdom has already died out, moron!
Wapol: What's that?!
Luffy: Wait! This guy is mine!
*Luffy runs out of the castle to fight Wapol.*
Luffy: Gum gum…
Chess: Wapol, Sir! Look, it’s the Straw Hat!
Wapol: Aaaahhh!
Luffy: Pistol!
*Luffy punches Wapol in the face, sending him flying.*
Chess and Kuromarimo: Wapol!
*Chopper and Kureha are in shock over Luffy’s actions. Chess and Kuromarimo manage to catch Wapol before he falls off the mountain.*
Chess: That was close…
Luffy: I’m really sick of you guys, you know that? What’s your problem? You were getting in our way even before we got to this island!
*Sanji and Morbius exit the castle.*
Sanji: Not these guys again!
Morbius: How many times are we gonna have to deal with these losers?
Luffy: Last time I ran into you guys, I couldn’t fight cause I had to protect my friends, but now… Oooooh, you guys are so gonna get it. Hehehe.
Kuromarimo: How dare you! Do you know who you attacked?! This is no lowly commoner, this is Wapol, the king and absolute ruler of Drum Kingdom!
Chess: That’s right! Show some respect! He’s this country’s monarch! How dare you do such a thing to his most excellent of excellencies?! For shame!
Luffy: Who cares?! He ticked me off again!
Morbius: It seems like we’ll have to kick your ass a second time, you big mouthed trilobite!
Kureha: So I take it you’ve run afoul of Wapol before?
Luffy: We sure have! He’s that annoying big mouth pirate!
Kureha: What’d he do?
Luffy: He ate part of our ship and then he attacked me and my friends! This guy’s got it coming and I’m gonna give it to him!
Sanji: Ok, but before you do that, aren’t you cold in that get up?
Luffy: Hm?
Sanji: You know, cold?
Luffy: Hey! Did he say he was a king?! But I thought he was a pirate!
Sanji: Took you long enough!
Morbius: Pay more attention to what people say, idiot!
Kuromarimo: Ha! So you’re disrespectful and have wax in your ears? But yeah, Wapol is the king of Drum Kingdom, Straw Hat. When he met you before, he was temporarily a pirate for his own reasons, but no longer.
Chess: King Wapol’s pirate days are now behind him. And so he’s returned to reclaim both his castle and his country.
Luffy: Whoa, it’s freezing out here!
Sanji: You really are an idiot!
Chopper: Yeah, it’s 50 below zero!
Morbius: You should’ve put a coat on!
Chess: I think they’re ignoring us!
*Wapol gets back up.*
Kuromarimo: You're awake, sir!
Wapol: Straw Hat… You've got some nerve… Just wait… I’m gonna bite you into pieces!
Sanji: Um, sorry, but you’ll have to hang on for just a minute. He had to go get a coat.
Wapol: Is this a joke?!
Morbius: No, he’s just really dumb.
Chopper: Tell me. Your friend, he can stretch himself. How?
Sanji: Huh, oh, that? It’s because he’s a rubber man.
Chopper: What the heck is that?
Sanji: It’s a monster!
Morbius: And so am I, little guy. Long story short, I ended up turning myself into a vampire when I cure myself. Now I have to drink blood in order to survive.
Wapol: Well, well… Looks like we’re up against that old hag, a reindeer, and a few of the Straw Hats! Not that much of a challenge! This will be over quickly, and once we’ve eliminated them, there won’t be anyone else foolhardy enough to defy me!
Chess: Of course, my king! Today will be remembered as the day you restored Drum Kingdom to its former glory!
Wapol: I’ll start with you, Dr. Kureha! You’ve committed a major offense by moving into my castle, and even a greater one by flying that strange flag!
Kureha: It’s not yours. Not anymore. It’s Hiriluk’s grave. I wasn’t interested in this run down place? What with all the bad things you did here. But we can use it to do some good, and the reindeer insisted on flying the doctor’s flag.
Chopper: *This castle is where Doctor died…He gave his life to save this country. This place is his grave, and a symbol of what he believed in!*
Wapol: Mahahahaha! Ah! I’d almost forgotten that fool! Mahahahaha!
*Wapol’s complete disregard for Hiriluk’s sacrifice angers Chopper and Kureha.*
Wapol: How dare you desecrate my castle by flying the flag of that stupid doctor?! I command that it be burned immediately!
Chopper: I’ll never let you touch that flag or get inside this castle… Never…
*Chopper transforms into his humanoid form.*
Chess: Look, sir! He’s that…
Kuromarimo: You’re right! It is him! He’s that doctor’s monster! The one Dalton stopped!
Chopper: That flag there… It’s a symbol of his faith! I won’t let you take it down, not now… not ever!
Wapol: Mahahahaha! We’re gonna take it, and all of you down! And we’re going into the castle! Show them no mercy, boys!
Sanji: Old lady, are you gonna fight, too?
Kureha: “Old lady”?
*She hits him over the head.*
Kureha: If they’re more than you can handle “junior,” I’ll step in!
Sanji: Appreciate that…
Morbius: We’re gonna teach these assholes a lesson about disrespecting a guy who died trying to save people.
Kuromarimo: Don’t you worry, sir! We’ll get them out of your hair, and speaking of hair!
*He throws an Afro shaped hairball at Kureha.*
Chopper: Doctorine!
*Sanji blocks it with a kick.*
Sanji: Hey, big man with the Afro. Didn’t your mother ever tell you it’s not right to strike a lady? Especially, not a hot, young one?
Kureha: Now that’s more like it, blondie.
Kuromarimo: What’s that?
*Sanji notices the hairball is sticking to his leg and tries to shake it off.*
Sanji: Damn! Why won’t this stupid thing come off?! What’s making it stick to me?! Static electricity or something?!
Kuromarimo: Exactamundo! Hahahahaha!
Sanji: Dammit! Get off my leg, you disgusting hairball!

*Luffy runs through the castle to find a coat to wear outside.*
Luffy: Cold… Cold, cold, cold, cold… Cold…
*He runs into the room Nami is resting in.*
Luffy: I need a coat really quick! Any coat’ll do!
Nami: What’s going on outside? I heard a lot of noise.
Luffy: It’s freezing out there! You seen any coats around?
Nami: I didn’t ask that. What I want to know is what’s happening out there.
*Luffy begins searching the room for a coat.*
Luffy: Eh, it’s just a fight.
Nami: Oh… Do you guys need help?
Luffy: Nah, stay in bed.
Nami: If you need a coat, you can borrow mine.
Luffy: What? But it's a girl's coat and it’s ugly.
Nami: Well, you did say any coat’ll do.
Luffy: Oh, yeah.
*Luffy reluctantly puts Nami’s coat on.*
Luffy: Well, as long as it keeps me warm. Yeah!
*He then runs out of the room and prepares to go outside.*
Nami: Huh. I wonder what all the fuss was about?
*She goes back to sleep.*
Luffy: Alright, big mouth! Now I can finally kick your butt!

Sanji: Why won’t this thing come off!
Morbius: Well, shaking them off isn’t gonna do anything.
Sanji: Well I don’t see you doing anything! I swear I’m gonna smack that hairball guy silly whenever I finally get this nasty thing off me!
Kuromarimo: Hehehehe. Oh well, in that case…
*He picks hairballs from his head.*
Kuromarimo: Marimo’s static cling!
*He then throws them at Sanji, sticking to him.*
Sanji: Gross! Morbius! Reindeer! Help me!
Chopper: I’m coming!
Morbius: Yeah, just calm down!
Sanji: Get these things off me! Please!
*Chopper takes one of them off but it sticks to his hand.*
Chopper: Ah! Here!
*He gives it to Morbius.*
Morbius: Oh great, it’s on me now!
*He sticks it back onto Sanji.*
Sanji: No!
*They keep passing the hairballs back and forth between each other.*
Kureha: Will you three please stop goofing around?
Morbius: You try getting these disgusting hairballs off, lady!
Kuromarimo: Ha! There’s a reason I don’t keep my hair conditioned!
Chess: And a very good one at that, too. Their dryness makes them burst into flames much easier.
Morbius: Wait, what?
*Chess lights one an arrow on fire and aims it at them.*
Sanji: Oh, no! He’s gonna burn these things!
Chopper: Here!
Morbius: Every man for themselves!
*They stick the hairballs back into Sanji and run away.*
Sanji: Huh?! Hey, what are you doing?!
Chopper: Decoy plan!
Sanji: Decoy plan?! Wait, I’m the decoy?! And what are you doing?!
Morbius: I said every man for themselves, Sanji!
Sanji: You bastard!
Chess: Checkmate!
*Chess shoots the arrow at one of the hairballs on Sanji, setting it on fire.*
Sanji: Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
*Chopper attempts to attack Chess, but he is barely able to dodge his punch.*
Wapol: Move!
*Wapol pushes Chess out of the way and swallows Chopper.*
Kureha: Chopper!
Morbius: No!
*As he chews on the reindeer, Luffy returns for the battle and Sanji manages to get the hairballs off him.*
Luffy: This might be a girl’s coat, but it’s really warm!
Sanji: Luffy! Grab my leg from there!
Luffy: Leg?! Sure!
*He stretches his arms and grabs onto Sanji’s leg.*
Luffy: Like this?!
Sanji: Yep! Just don’t let go! Morbius, grab onto him and fly as fast as you can!
Morbius: You got it!
*Morbius clings onto Luffy.*
Sanji: Arme de I’air assault gum shoot!
*Sanji kicks his leg and sends Luffy and Morbius toward Wapol. Morbius flies forward as fast as he can and throws Luffy, making him crash straight into Wapol and forcing him to spit Chopper out. Wapol then is launched backwards and crashes into Robson. Who is then launched high into the sky. Chopper is back into his hybrid form.*
Sanji: Not too shabby.
Chopper: Thanks, you guys! You guys were so amazing!
Sanji: Hey! Wait just a minute! Isn’t that Nami’s coat you’re wearing, Luffy?!
Luffy: Hmm. Whoa! Big mouth’s still alive… but his hippo is headed to the moon…
Morbius: Never thought I’d see a hippo in the air.
Sanji: Take it off right now, jerk!
Kuromarimo: Wapol, sir! Are you alright?!
Chess: We’ve underestimated them! They’re stronger than we thought!
Wapol: Then it’s time to bring out my big guns and… my bigger appetite!
Both: Huh?!
Wapol: I’ll show them the true power of the munch munch fruit!
Chess: Very good, sir!
Wapol: That’s right. I’ll show them the munch munch factory!
Luffy: Oh, she stood up.
Sanji: Yeah, but how? You hit him pretty hard.
Luffy: Guess… he’s tough!
Morbius: Tougher than I previously thought if he can take a beating like that and still want to kick out asses.
Wapol: Hey, Chess! Tell me what I ate today and in the exact order that I ate it!
Chess: Well, sir, you started by eating two cannons on the ship; one sautéed in butter and the outer raw. Then it was a cannonball and gunpowder salad, followed by the main course of a toasted cottage.
Luffy: And you thought I ate a lot!
Sanji: You do, but this guy’s a bigger pig than you.
Morbius: Yeah, he’ll eat literally anything. Emphasis on the words LITERALLY. ANYTHING.
Wapol: You see, Straw Hats. Whatever I eat becomes part of my body thanks to the munch munch fruit.
Chopper: What’s happening?
*A chimney grows out from the top of Wapol’s head.*
Sanji: What the!
Morbius: What’s going on with his body?
Wapol: Munch… munch… shock!
*The rest of his body is transformed into a house with cannons for arms.*
Wapol: The Wapol house!
Sanji: A house?!
Morbius: Why would he turn himself into a house?!
Luffy: Awesome!
Wapol: Now, if you’ll please excuse me… I have to eat!
Chess and Kuromarimo: Aaaahhhh!
Wapol: Behold! The munch munch factory!
*He then grabs Chess and Kuromarimo with his mouth and begins to devour them.*
Sanji: No way! He’s… He’s eating his own men?!
Morbius: He’s committing cannibalism!
Luffy: That’s so mean!
*After eating them both, Wapol moves around a little before stopping in place.*
Chopper: He stopped.
Morbius: Just what exactly is this guy’s plan?
Wapol: Feast your eyes on this! Come forth, you miraculous union!
Sanji: What kind of union?!
*The door on Wapol’s belly opens.*
???: Allow me to introduce myself! I am the strongest warrior of Drum Kingdom!
*Someone steps out the door.*
???: Chessmarimo! Hah!
*But it’s revealed to be Kurimarimo standing on Chess’s soldiers with only their clothes having fixed together.*
Sanji: “Miraculous union”? More like ridiculous union.
Morbius: Probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen on this island yet.
Luffy: Sweeeeeeeet!
Sanji and Morbius: It’s ridiculous!
Kureha: Just don’t let your guard down. That might look silly, but don’t be fooled. They’re tough. So tough that the citizens couldn’t stand against them. That’s how these thugs were able to exile all the doctors.
Wapol: Article one of the Drum Kingdom’s constitution, “Those who don’t do as the king wished will be put to death.” That’s the number one law of this country! You refused my wishes, and broke that law!
Morbius: News flash, buddy, we’re pirates. Breaking the law is kinda our thing.
Wapol: Now you are all going to be punished for your crimes! But first I’m gonna deal with the matter of that quack’s flat sullying my regal castle! It’s time I took that thing down!
*Wapol fires a cannonball at Hiriluk’s flag. The flag post breaks and falls off.*
Luffy: A pirate flag. Hey, reindeer. That flag…
*Chopper is infuriated that Wapol shot Hiriluk’s flag down. He then runs at him in anger.*
Chopper: How dare you! You attacked Doctor’s flag, you creep!
*He slides under Chessmarimo and transforms into his humanoid form to grab onto him.*
Chopper: Doctor tried to… He tried to save even you!
*He attempts to punch Wapol but hesitates. Remember Hiriluk’s words.*
Chopper: I… I won’t hurt you if you just leave this country forever!
Kureha: Chopper, what are you doing?! Even if he does promise that, you can’t trust a word that despot says!
Chopper: But… Doctor said…
*Wapol shoots Chopper with a cannonball, knocking him off.*
Kureha: Chopper!
Luffy: Hey, big mouth!
*Wapol looks up at the top of the castle and sees that Luffy has tied the flag back up using the sleeves of Nami’s coat.*
Wapol: Straw Hat!
*Chopper sees Luffy and Hiriluk’s flag on top of the castle.
Luffy: You guys weren’t real pirates; you were just faked ones, weren’t you? That’s why you don’t know what flying a pirate flag means. Cause you were just a bunch of fakes who didn’t risk your lives!
Chopper: That guy…
Wapol: “What a pirate flag means,” Straw Hat? Mahahahaha! Don’t make me laugh! Flags have no meaning!
Luffy: If you think that, you’re dumber than you look!
Wapol: What?!
Luffy: Listsn! Pirate flags stand for something, big mouth! They’re not raised as some kind of joke!
Wapol: Moron! The only joke is that I’ve let you live as long as I have! Since you dared put that flag back after I knocked it down, it’s time I delivered the punchline!
*Wapol fires another cannonball.*
Chopper: Hey, you, look out!
Luffy: Do your worst! You can’t break this flag!
*The cannonball hits him.*
Sanji: Luffy!
Morbius: Oh no!
Kureha: Was he hit?!
Wapol: He was blown to pieces! Mahahahahahaha!
*The smoke clears and both Luffy and the flag are damaged but still standing.*
Luffy: I told you… you can’t break it…
Chessmarino: What?! How did he do that?! It’s impossible!
Luffy: I have no idea who this pirate flag originally belonged to. But it doesn’t matter… A pirate flag is someone’s pledge to risk their life. It’s not something to laugh at! It stands for something that you jackasses will never understand in a million years!
Chopper: *Incredible… So this… is a pirate!*
Luffy: It won’t break… Ever… Cause the skull on it is a symbol of faith!