Adventure Guys

Nami: I think you’ve got it backwards. The hiding thing I mean.
*The creature quickly corrects himself and hides in the doorway, while still peeking at Nami.*
Nami: Well, that is better. But it’s a little late at this point and I can still see you.
???: Shut up, meanie! Oh, and can you tell me how your fever’s doing?
Nami: It’s talking?!
*The reindeer creature fumbles backwards and crashes into some medical equipment.*
Kureha: Keep it down, Chopper! Heeheehee. Your fever has seem to gone down a bit, that’s good. You happy?
*She drinks a bottle of alcohol.*
Nami: Who are you?
*She then checks Nami’s temperature.*
Kureha: Yes, it’s gone down several degrees. Should be alright now. I'm the only doctor around here. Dr. Kureha. But you can call me “Doctorine” ok?
Nami: Oh. Then that means were on-
Kureha: Looking to know how I stay so young?
Nami: No, that’s not it.
Kureha: Anyway. Yes, you’re in the castle on the mountain.
Nami: In that case, there were three other people who showed up here with me, weren’t there?
Kureha: Yeah, they’re sleeping in the next room. Very deeply. Three real tough guys.
*She lifts Nami’s shirt up to reveal a big bite on her stomach.*
Kureha: This is what caused your sickness.
Nami: Oh wow. Really?
Kureha: You were bitten by a bug called the Kestia. It’s a poisonous tick that thrives in jungles with high heat and humidity. When it bites you, it introduces a type of bacteria into your body. These bacteria lay dormant for five days, causing severe pain. It causes a high fever, severe infection, myocarditis and arteritis. Not pleasant. Given the infection’s progression in the infected area, I’d say you’ve been infected for about three days now. The pain you must’ve been feeling was terrible. But still it would’ve eased up in two more days without any treatment at all.
Nami: It would’ve gone away in two days?
Kureha: Mhmm. You wouldn’t be feeling any pain whatsoever because you’d be dead. This particular infection is known as the Five Day Disease. I heard that Kestia had died out over a hundred years ago but I kept the antibiotic just in case. Where did you guys come from where you could’ve been exposed to this? Were you in some ancient jungle with your belly showing? Heeheeheehee. No, ridiculous.
Nami: Uuuhh…
*Nami realizes that’s exactly what happened on Little Garden.*
Kureha: Does this situation sound familiar at all? What a crazy girl you are then. Now, then, stay in bed. The treatment for the disease isn’t completely finished yet.
Nami: Thank you so much. I’ll be fine as my fever goes down: my body will take care of itself after that.
Kureha: Aren’t you an optimistic one? This disease normally takes treatment up to 10 days to successfully cure. Even with medicines advanced as my mine are, your body will still need three days to recuperate. If you don’t want to risk more suffering and possibly death, get some rest, girl.
Nami: I can’t stay that long! We need to get Vivi home! Back to Alabasta!
*But Kureha holds her to the med with a scalpel.*
Kureha: When a patient leaves this castle, it’s either because she’s either cured or deceased. Heeheeheehee. You aren’t going anywhere, girl. You better get used to it.

*In the next room over, the reindeer creature named Tony Tony Chopper removes all the dirty bandages on Luffy, Sanji and Morbius as they rest. He watches over them. Thinking about how Luffy brought all of them by climbing the mountain.*

*Flashback*
Kureha: He climbed this mountain with his bare hands? That’s almost three miles of sheer rock to go up. His entire body is on the brink of frostbite. What was he thinking dressing like that for such a climb?! Draw some hot water and throw him into it.
Chopper: These guys are bleeding a whole lot. This one’s injuries aren’t severe but still need to be attended to. The other one has six broken ribs and a spinal fissure. Can I operate on them, Doctorine?
Kureha: Apparently the most critical of our three patients is this girl. This one’s dying. Chopper! Have phenicol, cardiotonic and ticarcillin ready for me!
Chopper: She has an infection?
Kureha: Yes. And the infection isn’t from anywhere on this island.
*Luffy grabs onto her.*
Kureha: Don’t worry, boy. I’ll make the bleeding kids and the sick better. You can rest easy, alright?
Luffy: Those three are my friends, ok?
Kureha: I figured that, kid. I’ll save them so don’t worry. Chopper, let’s begin treatment!

*Flashback end. Luffy begins to slowly wake up.*
Luffy: Hungry… So hungry…
*When he opens his eyes, he sees Chopper standing in front of him.*
Luffy: Need meat…
*Chopper backs away just as Morbius wakes up.*
Morbius: Must have blood…
*Sanji begins to wake up as well.*
Sanji: Venison stew should be simmered in a large pot for three hours until all the meat becomes tender.
Luffy: Luffy…
Morbius: Blood…
Sanji: Venison…
*Chopper is scared that all three of them want to eat him.*
Chopper: Aaaaaaahhhhh!!! Somebody help me!
*They then chase him. Intend on eating him.*
Luffy: Hold on, meat!
Sanji: Hold on, Luffy, let me cook this guy up, first!
Morbius: Not before I suck all its blood! COME HERE YOU LITTLE BUILD-A-BEAR.
*As they run around the room, they notice that Nami is alright.*
Luffy: Nami!
Morbius: Nami, you’re ok!
Sanji: Nami, dear!
Luffy: You look like you’re all better!
Nami: Yeah, I’m getting there, thanks.
Sanji: Right! One tasty venison dish for Nami coming up!
*They see Chopper trying to sneak away.*
Luffy, Sanji and Morbius: Come back!
*They continue chasing after him.*
Kureha: I’m impressed. Those guys are up and moving.
Nami: Yeah they are. Can you tell me about this talking deer?
Kureha: Figured you’d ask about him.

*They chase him through a hallway.*
Luffy: Don’t run away, meat!
Sanji: Don’t eat it yet!
Morbius: Yeah, I still need it’s blood!

Kureha: His name is Chopper. He’s just a reindeer with a blue nose, that’s all.
Nami: But normal reindeers don’t talk.
Kureha: If he’s different from ordinary reindeers in some way.
Nami: If he’s different?

*All the sudden, Chopper takes on a large humanoid appearance.*
Chopper: I’m not food for you, ok?!
*He then proceeds to hit all three of them over the head.*
Morbius: Went from cuddles to bigfoot… *faint*

Kureha: If he’s different it’s because he ate the human human fruit, that’s all.
Nami: The human human fruit? A devil fruit, right?
Kureha: That’s right. He’s still a reindeer but now he has the abilities of a human like talking and walking upright. And also, he’s a doctor. I taught Chopper everything I know about the field of medicine.

*At the bottom of the mountain, Wapol, Chess and Kuromario reach the bottom of the mountain where the castle lies.*
Chess: Wapol, sir, that Straw Hat is up there somewhere.
Wapol: Good, I’m beginning to get a little hungry. I’ll eat the rubber man for a snack. Now let’s go!

*At Big Horn, Vivi’s group continues digging through the snow to save Dalton.*
Vivi: Dalton, please don’t die on us here!
Usopp: We’ll find him in time! I’m sure of it! We have to! Dalton, please hang in there, ok?!
*However, Zoro isn’t lifting a finger to help.*
Zoro: So who’s Dalton?
Usopp: Don’t just stand there! Do something, Zoro!
*A hiking bear passes by them, so everyone but Zoro bows.*
Usopp: Gotta bow. Like I was saying, don’t just stand there! Get a shovel! Help us find Dalton!
Zoro: What was that thing?
Villager 1: Everyone! We found Dalton over here!
*Some villagers find the arrows Dalton was shot with earlier sticking out of the snow.*
Usopp: What?! Yeah!
Vivi: Fantastic!
Usopp: We’re coming!
Vivi: Dalton!
Zoro:… Who’s Dalton?!
*The villagers manage to dig him out of the snow but he isn’t responding.*
Villager 2: This is horrible. I can’t feel a heartbeat.

*Back at Drum Castle, Kureha treats everyone to some food.*
Morbius: Thanks for the packets of blood, doc. I really needed these.
*He drinks the blood like it's kool aid*
Morbius: Aaaaaahhhhh….
Kureha: Never before have I had a patient drink blood in order to get better. Tell me, what’s up with that?
Morbius: It’s uh… kind of a long story. You’ve ever seen Lost Boys?
Luffy: You should be one of my crew! Please, old lady, we really need to have a doctor on board!
Kureha: Luffy, you did tell me that’s your name, isn’t that right?
Luffy: Yeah.
Kureha: And did you call me old lady?
Luffy: Yeag, right. That’s what I said. Old lady.
*She kicks Luffy in the face.*
Kureha: If I were you, I’d be a little more careful about what I’d say!
Kureh: So I’m still within my youth. 130’s thank you.
Morbius: Christ, lady! You’re the oldest person I’ve ever met!
*She beats up Morbius.*
Kureha: It’s not nice to call people old. Especially when they’re 139.
Sanji: Jeez, you’re a tough old hag.
*She then beats up Sanji.*
Kureha: Are you boys really asking me to become a pirate? Don’t be ridiculous. That would be an incredible waste of my precious time. Besides, I have no interest in life on the sea.
Luffy: Those are all lame excuses! It’s about adventure, old woman!
Kureha: This one’s a slow learner. Didn’t I tell you to watch what you say?
Morbius: I blame lack of formal education.
Chopper: So these guys are pirates?
*They see Chopper spying on them. But he’s practically exposed so everyone can see him. He then runs away just as Luffy, Sanji and Morbius begin to chase him again.*
Chopper: Aaaaaahhhhh!!!
Luffy: Wait, come back, food! Come back here! Slow down!
Morbius: I still gotta drink your blood!
Sanji: Get back here!
Kureha: That’s enough of that, idiots!
*She then chases after them. Chopper passes through the room where Nami is resting as Luffy, Sanji and Morbius chase him.*
Luffy: One bite!
Morbius: One sip!
Sanji: In just a few minutes, I’m going to cook you a delicious reindeer dish you’ll never forget!
Kureha: I don’t think so!
*She confronts them with swords.*
Kureha: I’ll eat you guys first before I let that happen!
Luffy, Sanji and Morbius: Scary hag!
*Now as Chopper runs away from Luffy, Sanji and Morbius, they run away from Kureha.*
Luffy: She’s coming! She’s coming! She’s coming!
Nami: I don’t care about food. I just want some peace and quiet.
*She then feels a cold chill from out the door everyone ran out in. She notices snow on the other side.*
Nami: Snow? But that shouldn’t be inside the castle. It’s freezing. I’ll close the door.
*Chopper has managed to evade his pursers.*
Chopper: No, you need to stay in bed! After all, you still have a fever.
Nami: I don’t think so. It seems like it’s pretty much gone now.
Chopper: I lost ‘em. At least for now. Doctorine’s medicine works quickly to reduce the fever. But the bacteria from the Kestia will still remain inside your body a little while longer. So just take your antibiotic shot and stay in bed.
*Chopper closes the door.*
Nami: Thank you. You’re the one who’s been taking care of me, are you?
Chopper: You just shut up! I don’t need thanks from you or any other low life human?
*He says with a look of joy on his face.*
Chopper: Don’t mock me! Oh, never mind that! I’m just being silly! Oh no, seriously. I’m being such a fool.
*He then dances with glee.*
Nami: He’s not so good at hiding his emotions.

*Luffy, Sanji and Morbius run through an area of the castle where snow has fallen.*
Morbius: How did the snow get inside?
Sanji: This castle’s very strange. It’s freezing and filled with snow.
Luffy: Huh… It’s cold in here!
Sanji: Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, are you, Luffy?!
Morbius: Pay more attention to your surroundings!
Sanji: Look at this. There’s snow everywhere. And look, all the doors to all the unused rooms are shut too.
Morbius: It’s like some kind of level in a video game or something.
*They are confronted by Dr. Kureha carrying a load of weapons and run away.*
All: Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!
Kureha: Come back here! Just a moment, boys!
*She throws a bunch of them at the trio.*
Kureha: I said come back here!
Morbius: This bitch is crazy!
Luffy: You should rethink this idea about asking the old hat to join our group! A real doctor doesn’t chase around patients in a snow filled castle trying to kill them!

Chopper: Is it true you guys are pirates?
Nami: Yes.
Chopper: Really? Real pirates?
Nami: Real pirates.
Chopper: So you have a flag with a skull on it?
Nami: We do. It’s on our ship. So you’re really interested in pirates?
Chopper: No, I’m not at all, you idiot!
*He accidently backs up into a bookshelf.*
Chopper: Shut up!
Nami: Alright, alright, I get it. Now calm down. But one more thing. Do you wanna come with us?
Chopper: Aaaahhh!
Nami: You can come sail with us out on the ocean. If you did that would really help me out a lot. If we had a doctor on the ship, then I wouldn’t have to stay in this place for three more days, right? I think you’d have a really good time if you came.
Chopper: No! That’s crazy! You realize I’m a reindeer?! I don’t belong on a ship with a bunch of humans! I mean, just look at me. I’m a reindeer but I walk on two legs and I talk and everything. Animals aren’t supposed to be able to do any of that stuff.
Nami: I know. But if you’re trying to scare me off, it isn’t working.
Chopper: But I have a blue nose.
*Luffy manages to find him.*
Luffy: There you are, meat!
*He is soon followed by Sanji and Morbius.*
All: Come here, you!
Chopper: Aaaaahhhh!
*Chopper runs away with them chasing him again.*
All: Come back here!
Kureha: Those brats sure can run, can’t they? I don’t like what you were doing there, girl. Trying to tempt my reindeer away from me without my permission.
Nami: What? I need your permission to make a move on a man all the sudden?
Kureha: Heeheeheehee! No, I suppose you don’t. If you wanna take him away from here, go ahead. But I must warn you, it won’t be as easy as you think. Chopper has a scar on his heart. A deep one not even my medicine can’t cure. From the moment he was born, everyone including his parents turned their backs on him. All because he was born with a blue nose. He was forced to walk in the back of the group, separated from the rest of the reindeer. Even though he was just a helpless newborn. Then one day, he ate a devil fruit. Then he became more of an outcast than he did before. The other reindeer pressured him to leave the herd. His blue nose already made him different, but now he wasn’t like the ordinary reindeer at all. Still, he was lonely and wanted friends. So he went down to a village on two legs as humans do. But even walking on two legs, he didn’t look anything like the humans. And for some reason, his nose was still blue as well.

*Flashback, Chopper in his human-like form approaches a village but all the villagers are frightened and shoot at him. Forcing him to run away.*

Kureha: He didn’t know what was wrong. He didn’t know why they reacted to his appearance with so much fear and anger. He’d gone to a village seeking friends, but they called him a monster and drove him away. He was no longer a reindeer and he wasn’t a human either. He was something in between. So he lived alone after that. Caught between two worlds that wouldn’t accept him. Now that you’ve heard the story, you think you can heal the scar on his heart.

*With Luffy, Sanji and Morbius*
Sanji: Guys, check out that door on the front entrance. It’s wide open.
*They see a door at the bottom floor open, letting all the cold air from outside in and causing snow to fall.*
Luffy: No wonder it’s so cold in here.
Morbius: Leaving a door open in cold weather is unconventional and dangerous… but mostly unconventional.
Sanji: Anyway, we should close it. With it open like that there’s not much difference between inside and outside.
Chopper: Hey, stop it! Don’t touch that door! Get away from there!
*They see Chopper peeking through the railing on the floor above him.*
Morbius: It’s that thing again.
Sanji: Nevermind him, let’s get it closed or we’ll freeze to death.
Luffy: That’s a good point.
Chopper: Stop it! Didn’t you guys hear what I said?! Get away!
*Chopper gets angry and transforms into his humanoid form.*
Luffy: What is wiry this guy
Morbius: He’s like a furry Hulk!
Luffy: What the hell is he so angry about?!
Sanji: Hey, come over here for a second. Look up there.
*They look at the top of the door and see a nest of baby birds laying on top.*
Sanji: It’s a bunch of baby snow birds. See? We’d close the door, they’d fall.
Luffy: So that’s the reason they’re leaving it open.
Morbius: They don’t want to hurt the baby chicks.
*But they quickly realize it’s freezing cold outside and get back into the castle.*
Luffy: It’s freezing! Hold up a second. That weird reindeer guy, wasn’t he speaking earlier?
Sanji: Now that you mention it, I remember him walking on two legs, too.
Morbius: Yeah, and he turned huge all the sudden…
All:… He’s a monster!
Luffy: Ok, let’s get this straight. He walks upright and talks.
Sanji: Not human!
Luffy: He has fur!
Morbius: He’s wearing a hat!
Sanji: And little!
Luffy: He becomes big!
All: Clearly a monster!
*Chopper overhears them talking and walks away in shame. However…*
Luffy: What a cool guy! I bet he’s really interesting! Hey, wait, I know! He should join us!