Adventure Guys

*With Luffy’s group*
Morbius: This certainly is a problem…
*Luffy hears Nami whisper something.*
Luffy: What?
Nami: Hurry…
Luffy: Don’t worry. Just rest. Never mind that. Well worry about it later, ok?
Sanji: She’s not even worried about her own life. Just hang in there a little longer, Nami. Let’s get going, we have to make it to the castle where the doctor lives and quickly. Move it, you damn bunnies.
Luffy: They’re coming.
Sanji: Yeah.
Morbius: Guess we have no choice. Only one option available right now.
Sanji: Listen, Luffy. I don’t want you fighting these guys. Alright?
Luffy: Why not?
Sanji: Because Nami will be able to feel every move you make. She’s too sick to be able to handle something like that, it’ll be too much. She’ll die.
Luffy: What?!
Morbius: Yeah, she doesn’t need you moving around like that.
Luffy: Ok, jeez! I won’t fight at all. But then…
*One of the Lapahns tries to attack Luffy, but he manages to dodge it.*
Luffy: Then what can I do?!
*They then begin to attack Sanji and Morbius.*
Sanji: Dodge! Dodge and run! But don’t retreat!
Luffy: That’s a little difficult!
Morbius: Just do your best, Luffy!
Sanji: Flanchet shoot!
*Sanji delivers a spinning kick to one of the Lapaphn’s stomach, knocking it back.*
Morbius: Out of our way, you overgrown Rabbids!
*Morbius slashes one of them in the face with his claws.*
Lapaphn: WAAAAHHH!!!
Luffy: Dodging!
*Luffy dodges more strikes from the Lapahns.*
Sanji: Damn, in this snow I can’t get my footing to land a solid kick!
*They all jump in the air towards them all.*
Luffy: They’re attacking all at once!
*One of them tries to attack Luffy, but he again manages to avoid being hit. His hat falls off, but Sanji catches it.*
Morbius: There’s so many of them!
Sanji: Head for the forest! We’ll cover you!
*Luffy runs into the tree line with Sanji and Morbius following behind. All being pursued by the creatures.*
Sanji: Go left! We’ll head to the mountain!
Luffy: Ok!
Sanji: We need to get rid of them somehow! It won’t take us hours just to fight them all!
Morbius: But how do we get rid of them?!
Sanji: For bunnies, these guys are tough.
Morbius: Luffy, watch out!
*One tries to attack Luffy, Sanji kicks it in the face before Luffy can fight back.*
Sanji: Stop it! What are you doing?! I told you not to attack, you idiot! Just leave them to us!
Luffy: Sorry.
Sanji: This is no time to be screwing around!
*Sanji kicks another one while Morbius slashes another one. Luffy spots a rock wall.*
Luffy: Guys, we can go up from here!
Sanji: Right, go on!
Morbius: We’ll be right behind you!
*A Lapahn attempts to attack Luffy.*
Luffy: Wanna give me a lift?!
*Luffy then jumps off it and lands on the top of the wall. Sanji and Morbius follow suit.*
Luffy: Heh!
*But they begin to jump up to the top.*
Sanji: Did you really have to taunt them?!
Luffy: Sorry!
Sanji: Get to the top of the mountain!
Morbius: I regret going this way!

*In Bighorn, Usopp, Vivi and Dalton continue to stand outside.*
Usopp: The snow is really starting to pick up.
Vivi: *Nami, please be ok…*
Dalton: Tell me something. Who are you guys?
Usopp: Why do you ask that?
Dalton: You’re a group of only seven people traveling the sea on a ship without a doctor. It’s incredibly reckless.
Usopp: In case you forgot, we’re pirates. That’s the reason you guys were pointing all those guns at us, remember? Now, we may be a small group, true. But with a brave warrior of the sea onboard there’s nothing to fear from anything or anyone.
Dalton: Ok…
Usopp: Even though we aren’t very brave, we are looking for someone to be the ship’s doctor. In fact, I was hoping we’d find someone on this island. Of course what I wasn’t expecting was that the doctor here would be a witch living in a castle.
Dalton: Well she’s all we have. You guys seem to be certainly different than the pirates were used to.
Woman: Hello, Dalton. I was looking for you.
*The woman from earlier returns and Usopp bows to her. Still thinking she’s a hiking bear.*
Usopp: Bow to the bear!
Dalton: What can I do for you?
Woman: I heard the newcomers were looking for Dr. Kureha.
Dalton: Yes, but the sick woman’s friends have already taken her up the mountain.
Woman: Oh, that’s too bad. Cause I heard the doctor’s in Cocoa Weed right now.
All:… She’s where?!
Usopp: So Nami and the others already passed her?!

*Elsewhere in the village of Cocoa Weed, a small little boy is crying in a pup.*
Villager 1: Come on, we’ve had enough of this crying already. Just make him stop. It’s driving nuts!
Father: Yes, I’m sorry. Hey, Tamachibi, what’s wrong? Are you hurt somewhere? You need to stop crying and tell me what’s wrong.
*But he doesn’t say anything and keeps crying.*
Father: You're upsetting the customers! Tamachibi, say something! If you don’t stop crying, you’re going to your room!

*Outside the pub, the fabled Dr. Kureha stands outside with a reindeer with a blue nose and wearing a pink hat next to her. The villagers look at her in fear.*
Villager 2: It’s her.
Villager 3: And look at that. She’s got that weird monster with her again.
*She glares at the villager who said that.*

Father: That’s it! I’ve had enough of this!

Kureha: Well, well, doesn’t sound like a nice father in there. If a child is crying uncontrollably in there, chances are something’s wrong and he doesn’t know what. Heeheeheehee! Stay there for now, Chopper.
*She proceeds to break the door of the pub down.*
Kureha: So sorry about that.
Father: It’s you…
Kureha: So are you kids happy? Heeheeheehee!
Villagers: Aaahhh! Doctor Kureha!
Kureha: Want to know my secret for staying young?
Villagers: No, we’re fine! No thank you!
Villager 1: I can’t believe she’s 140 years old!
*She throws a fork at the wall, nearly hitting him in the face.*
Kureha: I’ll have you know I’m 139.
*The child continues crying.*
Kureha: Shall I treat the boy?
Father: Wait, he’s fine! He isn’t sick or hurt or anything, really!
Kureha: Oh, well. Then excuse me, doctor. Let’s go, Chopper.
*Her and the reindeer prepare to leave.*
Father: Wait, please come back!

*Dalton drives a sleigh pulled goats with Usopp and Vivi aboard to Cocoa Weed.*
Dalton: I’m sorry. This is my mistake. I was aware that the doctor had come to town from the mountain in the last few days. But I assumed when she left she wouldn’t be back for quite some time.
Usopp: Don’t worry about it! It’s not your fault! The problem here is how abnormally strong Luffy, Sanji and Morbius are. Even if we go up the mountain after them, there’s no way we’d be able to catch up to them. If we are able to find the witch of this Cocoa Weed place, we just need to tell her to get back up the mountain as quickly as she can.
Vivi: You’re right. That’s true. We have no other choice.
Dalton: Forgive us. Forgive this land for not having more doctors.
Vivi: Don’t say that. This isn’t something you need to be apologizing for, Dalton.
Usopp: She’s right about that.
Dalton: Let’s hurry!

*In Cocoa Weed, Dr. Kureha is about to begin her treatment on the little boy.*
Tamachibi: It’s my hands. They hurt.
Kureha: Your hands? Alright then. Does this hurt?
*She presses her thumb into one of his ankles, which hurts him.*
Tamachibi: It hurts!
Kureha: You see? Now you’ve forgotten all about your hands hurting.
Father. What was that about?! What’d you do to him?!
Kureha: Are you happy? You’re happy. Good! Now stay nice and quiet.
Father: Hey!
Kureha: And you should calm down. I only touched his leg lightly.
Father: I heard a terrible noise.
*She begins to examine him and notices swelling on his leg.*
Kureha: He has pains in his hands and legs. He doesn’t have a fever. The swelling here on his leg is from a pyogenic inflammation and it doesn’t look good. By now the bone is surely infected. Chopper, bring me some antibiotics.
Father: Um, Doctor, is he ok?
Kureha: The key to curing this disease is getting to it before it becomes too strong. He’ll live. However, he did almost die.
Father: What?! Almost die?!
*The kid begins to cry again.*
Kureha: I’m gonna do a little operation, ok?
Father: Wait, aren’t you going to use any anesthesia?!
Kureha: This is the anesthesia.
*She holds the child up for the reindeer to knock him out.*
Father: What the hell?!

*Kureha finishes operating on the child to cure him of his inflammation.*
Kureha: Now see how easy that was? That’s it for the treatment. Or the part you need me for anyway. The rest is up to you. Just make sure he rests and keep his legs tightly bandaged.
*She hands the father a roll of bandages.*
Kureha: Once they’re bandaged, keep them iced down. Do you understand?
Father: Yes.
Kureha: Now about my fee. I’m all out of trash bags and toilet paper. So I’m taking all of those that you have, along with all your food and wine. In addition, I’ll be taking 50% of this restaurant's assets. Chopper, take it all to the sled.
Father: This is outrageous! You can’t take half my assists!
Villager 4: Don’t even think about giving her all that! It’s too much!
Villager 5: It’s just crazy!
Villagers: You aren’t a real doctor at all! You’re just a witch!
*The reindeer growls at the villagers bad mouthing Dr. Kureha.*
Kureha: It’s alright, Chopper. They’re just a bunch of blabbering children.
Tamachibi: Old lady… The pain, it’s all better now. Thanks so much!
Kureha: Well, it looks like your son gave me a nice tip. So I’ll reduce my fee to 49%.
Father: I’ll pay your price. Thank you.
Kureha: Oh yeah, hey, kid. This happiness you feel, don’t ever forget it.
Tamachibi: Ok!
Kureha: Heeheeheehee!

*Back at the Going Merry, Zoro finishes taking a sail in the ice cold water. Now feel g his butt off.*
Zoro: It’s freezing out here! My whole body’s beginning to go numb! I feel more like a popsicle than a human at the moment. I have a lot more training to do. If I really concentrate, I shouldn’t be bothered by the coldest temperatures. Hey, Karoo! Wanna come in with me? It’s a great way to get your little bird body in shape!
*Karoo has no interest in swimming in the water. But once he sees Zoro is not there, he assumes he’s drowning and dives into the water.*
Karoo: Quack!!!
*Karoo begins to swim in the water to find Zoro. However, Zoro just dived down and came back up to the surface shortly after Karoo jumped in.*
Zoro: I didn’t expect to find this many fish. Well, I’ve got more to do.

*Back with Luffy’s group, the keep running away from the Lapahns. Only now, there doesn’t seem to be any after them.*
Luffy: They coming?!
Sanji: No, it doesn’t look like it.
Morbius: There isn’t any sign of them.
Luffy: Alright. I guess we lost them.
Sanji: Nope, not yet.
*They see the pack up on a snowy hill.*
Luffy: They don’t give up!
Morbius: Damn, these things are persistent.
*The whole pack begins jumping up and down on the hill top.*
Luffy: Why are they jumping up and down?
Morbius: I know they’re rabbits, but I’m wondering that too.
Luffy: Maybe they’re grouchy because they’re hungry.
Sanji: I don’t think so. Wait a sec. Don’t tell me… Oh no…!
*Sanji drops his cigarette after realizing what the Lapahns are doing.*

*Usopp, Vivi and Dalton continue their way to Cocoa Weed.*
Usopp: Dalton, you haven’t told us who you are yet. Doesn’t really seem like you’re an ordinary villager. You have a certain way of speaking that makes me think of a military officer.
Dalton: You’re correct. I did serve this country’s military. Under our former king, Wapol. I became captain of this country’s security long ago. During the time when Wapol’s father ruled here. However, the time came when the king died and his rule was handed down to us son Wapol. When that happened, this country changed.

*Flashback*
Wapol: I have come up with another brilliant new law! I’ve decided I’m going to exile the country’s doctors!
Chess: What?
Kuromario: Exile…
Dalton:… the doctors?
Wapol: Yes! I’ll keep the 20 best doctors in the land and they will be my private physicians. I’ll call them the 20 MDs!
Chess: The 20 MDs?
Wapol: That’s right! The 20 MDs will be just for me and the rest will be exiled!
Kuromario: What a great idea, Wapol! You’re so smart!
Dalton: No! If you do this then who will the people go to when they’re sick or injured?!
Wapol: Why should I care about what happens to those useless people?! If anyone needs a doctor, they will have to grovel before me! Anyone who disobeys me will be refused any treatment at all! This way, no one in the entire country will dare defy me! Mahahahahaha! I’m such a genius, sometimes it kills me! Mahahahahaha!

*Flashback end*
Usopp: Whoa. So from then on, anyone who got sick had no choice but to throw themselves at Wapol’s mercy and hope the 20 MDs would treat them.
Dalton: Yes, and pay the excessive medical fees.
Vivi: So basically, Wapol was taking control of the country by taking the people’s lives and holding them hostage? That’s not ruling! What sort of king would do that?! It’s tierney!
Dalton: *It’s just as I thought. There can be no mistaking it now.
*Unbeknownst to them, Dr. Kureha has left the village on her sleigh being pulled by the reindeer. It filled with the stuff she took as payment for the boy’s treatment in Cocoa Weed.*

*Zoro walks through the snowy forest without a shirt or shoes on. Still freezing cold.*
Zoro: Damn it! I got carried away and swam for too long! Where am I now? And where’s the ship?! This is great! I have no way of telling with all this snow everywhere.
*He stumbles upon Dr. Kureha, who has stopped in front of him.*
Zoro: I’m saved! Hey, old lady! Sorry to bother you, but you think you can drop me off at a village nearby or something? Whoa, what are you doing dressed like that in this weather? I’ve seen some old ladies in my day but-
Kureha: Careful how you talk to me, little boy.
*She then punches Zoro in the face, knocking him back.*
Kureha: At 139 years old, I’m still young and strong! Let’s go, Chopper. That boy is clearly some kind of freak.
*The reindeer begins to pull the sleigh, leaving Zoro behind.*
Zoro: Come back here! What the hell was her problem?! Dumb old hag!
*The wind brings a chill, making Zoro more cold.*
Zoro: Woah, that’s cold! I’ll freeze to death before long. Ok, I guess for now I’ll do some strength training to get myself warmed up a bit.

*Meanwhile, at the shore of the island, Wapol’s crew has just made landfall. The former tyrant of the kingdom was home again.*
Wapol: Mahahahahaha! We’ve arrived at last! After all this time I’ve returned to Drum Kingdom! I’m finally home! Mahahahahaha!
*Chess and Kuromario finish beating up several villagers that tried to fight back against them.*
Chess: Huh. Were they trying to pretend to be a real military?
Kuromario: But of idiots and amateurs. What were they thinking shooting at us like that?
Wapol: Oh, my dear Drum Island! Your towering majesty has grown even more beautiful in my absence! Chess, is the castle alright?
*Chess looks through a pair of binoculars to get a view of the castle atop the mountain.*
Chess: Yes. It looks just as good as we left it. It’s perfect.
Wapol: Mahahahaha! What are we waiting for? Let’s go home, boys! I’m done being a pirate. I’m gonna be king again! Onward, Robson!
*Wapol rides on the back of a large white wooly hippo as his men march onto the island.*
Wapol: Mahahahaha!
*But the animal doesn’t move.*
Wapol: Robson, move! Why are you just standing here?! Hey! Get going already!
Soldier: Wapol, we have a problem!
Wapol: What’s the matter now?
Soldier: The pirates! The ones from the other day, they’re ship’s here!
Wapol: What?! Not them! What are the Straw Hat Pirates doing in my country?! How dare they come here after pretending not to know about it?! Does he not even care?! I had a very painful recovery! You, go kill those pirates now! I demand it!
Soldier: Actually, the ship is empty, sir.
Wapol: Empty?!
Soldier: We don’t know where they went!
Wapol: You wanna be executed?!
Chess: Our apologies, Wapol. Please forgive him.
Kuromario: This man is just a useless subordinate.
Wapol: Chess. Kuromario.
Chess: We took the liberty of inspecting the footprints that left the ship and we have some information.
Kuromario: Indeed. It looks like the footprints were heading toward Big Horn.
Wapol: Very good. That was absolutely brilliant. In that case, we’re heading on to Big Horn. Well stop there to fire a resolution for Drum Kingdom!

*One of the injured villagers escapes to warn everyone else of Wapol’s return.*

*Usopp’s group manages to make it to Cocoa Weed but are too late.*
Usopp: Wait, what are you telling us? You mean the witch left this town just a few moments ago?! Oh you gotta be kidding me! This is ridiculous!
Tamachibi: She left after she made my sickness better.
Father: If you’re looking for the doctor, she’s already left.
Dalton: We have to find her. Can you tell us where she was heading when she left here?
Villager 1: I think I know. I heard from someone else that she was heading for Gyasta.
Dalton: Gyasta?!
Usopp: So where is that?
Dalton: If we were going to Gyasta from Big Horn, we’d go in the opposite direction than when we come here.
Usopp: Oh, great! We already passed her?!
Dalton: Ice skating is very popular there.
Usopp: What does that have to do with anything?! Who cares about that?!
Vivi: Calm down, Usopp. We need to get to that town. This point, we really don’t have any time to lose.
Usopp: Yeah, you’re right.
*The injured villager manages to crawl his way into the pub after escaping the fight with Wapol and his men.*
Villager 2: Dalton! I found you at last…
Dalton: Wait, I thought you were standing watch today?
*He collapses but Dalton catches him.*
Dalton: What’s the matter?! I can tell that you’ve been badly injured, tell me what went wrong!
Villager 2: Every watchmen except for me… they’ve all been killed, Dalton…
Dalton: What?!
Villager 2: This thing. This submarine sail boat. It came out of nowhere and attacked us. They killed every one of the watchmen. We couldn’t stop them.
Dalton: Who are “They”?! I don’t understand! Please explain!
Villager 2: Please, Dalton! You have to help us! We aren’t strong enough to fight them, you have to do something!
Usopp: What’s wrong?
Dalton: It was them…?
Villager 2: It was Wapol! Wapol and his men! They came back!
*The villagers are struck with fear now that their former king has returned. Dalton runs out the door.*
Usopp: Hey, wait! Dalton, wait!

*Dalton rides on horseback back to Big Horn to stop Wapol from hurting anyone.*
Dalton: *I’m going to settle it once and for all! In the end, I don’t really think it can be called justice. I may be as guilty as you are. But you’re the one who will be punished!
*Dalton suddenly transforms into a bison and runs to the village on his own.*
Dalton: *Just wait! I’m coming for you, Wapol!*

*With Luffy’s group, they watch as the Lapahns keep jumping up and down.*
Sanji: Those damn bunnies! They’ve done it now! This isn’t good!
Luffy: What, what are you talking about? What isn’t good? What’s going on with the bunnies?
Sanji: We’ve gotta run, Luffy!
Morbius: Yeah! Run like hell!
Luffy: We’re running again? Where to?
Sanji: Anywhere as long as it’s far away from here!
Luffy: Why?
Sanji: Because there’s about to be an avalanche, that’s why!
Morbius: Aw, FUCK!